The Great Cancer Recovery part 3

[TopOfTheCliff]

You may have finished active treatment for cancer, be in remission or NED. You want to look forward not dwell on the past. You know you ought to be eating well, exercising more and picking up the threads of your old life. Join us and share the ups and downs of recovery. We understand!

Here are some resources we found helpful:

The Mountain Lion
https://www.cancerpal.co.uk/post/what-it-s-really-like-to-receive-a-cancer-diagnosis

Peter Harvey on Psychology of recovery:
https://workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

Resources from Penny Brohn:
https://pennybrohn.org.uk/our-approach/resources/

Breast Cancer Now Moving Forward:
https://breastcancernow.org/information-support/support-you/moving-forward

Get your Oomph Back with Carolyn Garritt
http://www.oomph.london/home.html

Charity providing treats for cancer patients:
https://somethingtolookforwardto.org.uk/

Exercise is good for you:
https://www.webmd.com/cancer/features/exercise-cancer-patients

Any more suggestions? Post them below

There is also a thread for those suspected to have cancer, or newly diagnosed and facing treatment, and also a thread for those with Stage IV cancer who want to talk to others in the same boat.

Hope everything goes smoothly now Top and your friend gets better soon.

Plants I also worry about and state of the house whilst I am on remote island even in , well especially in, first 6 months when DH will still be here, it may become taken over by piano parts and old car parts and no cleaning or tidying happen and garden just left. Though DH has become a gardening convert and waters plants everyday at the moment but we always garden together and it's me who suggests it but he seems to love it once started. He says he will continue but 🤔Though many neighbours here garden a lot, lots of retired people and it's a chocolate box cottage with rose garden sort of place. Will see how it goes. Unlikely to rent house out as DD needs a base for holidays as will we plus heavily taxed.

My poor friend was so unwell I asked for assistance and a nice man whisked us with a wheelchair through departures onto our plane. She’s a cancer survivor x 2 as well so we are very assertive. We used the disabled seats on the buses too 😎

Hi

It's ages since I popped on to one of these threads and have just caught up with this new one. For background I was dx Easter 2021 with Her2+ BC, ER0 & PR0. Ki-67 31% with paget's. Large tumour with multiple nodes visible on US. The support on here was an absolute lifeline 👋 @TopOfTheCliff and @Acinonyx2 and many more. Ddog was a lifeline too as she got me out walking every day.

I was interested in the comments @SummerCycling notes about Predict for our sub type of cancer. I remember my oncologist telling me it's not really relevant to ours. This was as I was towards the end of my treatment so summer 2022. I trust him and he's a BC specialist in a major cancer center. His view for me was risk of recurrence was highest on 2 years dropping slightly at 3 years and then at 5 years my risk would be the same as anyone else. He starts counting at day of dx.

I'm just past 3 years now but am due to see him in October so will quiz him on the new model and post anything of interest.

I had carbo and paclitaxel, phesgo from the outset. Mastectomy and full clearance with pcr and then radio. I tolerated the treatment well but have some residual neuropathy in feet and lymphoedema to chest and arm. Chemical Menopause has been really tough. I am pretty well otherwise and although have been back at work in an easy 'lifestyle' type job but am keen to explore something a bit more challenging now I'm at 3 years. I'm early 50's so still feel I have a bit to give plus have expensive shopping habits!

Mentally I try and push the thought of recurrence to the back of my mind. I don't discuss irl as everyone thinks im completely'cured'. I am still in recovery though in my mind.

Sending best wishes to everyone x

@JeanLannes Hi!! Yes I've been assuming the same - risk peaking at 2 years and now I'm 3.5 years on. We have v similar profile. It's this year that I've started to tentatively think about the future - as in beyond 5 years. Yes people generally assume 'cured' but to me it's just wait and see, maybe maybe not - as it is for most of us. But I do think I've had a bit of mindset shift at the 3 year mark.

Your poor friend Top glad they helped.

I know for my type risk peaks at 5 to 10 years for reoccurrence and it goes to unusual places a lot more than other types but I also am of the mindset where I don't think about reoccurence much, live life as much as I can now and then when it comes back will deal with it then. Not letting cancer steal these years with worry.

@JeanLannes lovely to hear your news and catch up. I can’t believe how much time has past for us all. I’m now four years on from BC1 triple positive and two years on from BC2 triple negative. Like you I have some long term damage but am getting fitter and slimmer (or less fat!) slowly. I don’t worry about what will happen in the future, like @Penguinsa I don’t want it spoiling my life now.

I have made it home after a very eventful day. My poor friend coped with her food poisoning and the extreme heat and the airport evacuation very stoically. Once we had secured some Coca-cola for her and some airport assistance everything unfolded beautifully. At Schiphol we were whisked from one terminal to another in a minibus and boarded our flight first! The other disabled passengers were interesting to talk to. One was a girl with Autism who explained how it helped her to travel. I am very grateful that I was strong and fit enough to carry everything and walk as far as was needed in the heat. I need a shower and a long sleep now! It has done me good to get away and look at my lovely life with DH from afar. Some changes are needed but only minor tweaks!

Glad you got home fine Top and the break helped. You seem to have a lovely relationship with DH apart from a few niggles which is totally normal - infact I think they say its a bad sign if you don't have them as then you are indifferent.

Had my medical today at Nuffield - went fine though eyesight was terrible (thanks chemo and Tamoxifen!) and also the breath into a tube test was a poor result at 310 after 10 or so attempts but think that will get through. The eyesight I really need to see optician anyway not seen one for 15 years or so but was at medical appointment max recently but have booked for tomorrow. Will hopefully go on to a nice place in Norfolk Holkham Hall and then getting a crab and seafood platter from Wells. Bloods should arrive back around Thursday by email . And no calls about op so survived another day.

Watching Olympics again. The medical doctor was absolutely fascinated by the job and place and was asking for 20 mins of appointment about it and searching it himself on internet and kept saying it will be so much fun and once in a lifetime. DH is off work all this week still. DD has done her punting job today. He did comment that their medical was from around 1950 and not updated. 😂

So glad you got back eventually @top hope your friend is feeling better.
@Penguinsa sounds like it’s all progressing! How exciting.

Well done @Penguinsa another job ticked off.
I succumbed to my friend’s stomach bug this evening. Cramps and diarrhoea but fortunately no vomiting. I’ve checked a Covid test and it’s negative but DH will probably get it before we travel 🙄

Oh no @TopOfTheCliff - I am sorry about the dramatic and stressful end to your trip, and hope you recover quickly. And don't give it to DH.

We have finally been able to make an appointment to register DF's death, so the sadmin can start in earnest. I've got a week before my holiday, and only a few hours work I need to fit in, so I hope to be able to get a lot of it done. I'm going back up to stay at DF's house for a few days, and am dreading arriving and opening the door, tbh. Last time I was there, he was still alive - and although I knew he wasn't coming home, it still felt like I was looking after the house for him.

In the meantime, we treated ourselves to a night away in Norfolk with the DDs on Sunday/Monday. We realised we had two days free, with no obligations, so we thought DF wouldn't have minded us doing something nice together. Such a coincidence @Penguinsa We walked on the beach at Wells and had a lovely swim at our hotel, and a gorgeous visit to Houghton Hall - the walled garden there is huge and lovely, and I hadn't been before. It was very restorative.

Thanks TheSandwich Hope you are fine.

Sorry to hear you have been ill Top Hope you have a wonderful holiday and DH doesn't catch it and you recover soon.

Have a lovely holiday Dotty and good you can get some sadmin out the way though must be so hard, sending love. Glad you had a nice time in Norfolk.

Today was eye test. Then went onto Holkham Hall but was raining and mostly closed so just a quick walk round in rain, had a hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows and then went on to Wells Crab House to pick up takeaway I had pre-ordered and we went and got the most beautiful seafood platter. Could only eat it with DH in the car as raining but beach looked beautiful and nicest seafood ever had. Will now catch up on Olympics and drinks. Ordered some contact lenses online. Used to have them. Optician was saying you cant have them without buying glasses but don't see why not so got a month from Vision Direct dailies and will see how I get on.

Tomorrow hopefully get all forms back to job so that will be done and Student Finance for DD.

I have organised a meetup with a friend at Wisley on Thursday haven't seen in ages and who has an interesting political job and I want the gossip. And surgery still is on for 13th! Cleaner coming on 11th. Pre hospital on 12th and surgery on 13th.

Hope you're on the mend @TopOfTheCliff and DH managed to avoid it before his trip.

Enjoy your holiday @dotty2.

I am in the midst of packing myself and jesus is it 100 x more stressful when you're taking a littlie! I'm quite blasé about packing generally, managed Norway on hand luggage only but kids these days seem to come with a lot of accessories.

It's the first proper holiday with DP's little one, a dream come true for him as he didn't think he'd ever get the chance and his wee girl's first time abroad so I think we're both feeling the pressure to 'get it right' for her which is very different to our usual style of break.

I'm looking forward to it but a little nervous at the same time - never been abroad with a child in tow before, but she's a good kid, very amenable and easy going so fingers crossed everything will go smoothly.

Have a lovely holiday Clash Some people do take every accessory known to man on every outing with small children, I never used to take that much but a lot of people do plan for 10 different scenarios. I used to find the kids mainly needed food and drink at regular intervals or they can get grumpy though obviously if still in nappies there's more to bring. When they are little they can be pretty oblivious to where they are, remember DS asking if we were in Austria or Australia. And they get impressed by things like balloons and sometimes don't notice bigger things.

Went out to Wisley with my friend yesterday and lovely to catch up. Still doing all these checks for new job, good job in the end it op got pushed back a week. They've asked for references from years back to cover 5 years, and of course most places give very basic ones and organisations change. Though one I was at someone senior has just offered to do it which does 3 years. My surgeon has just reloaded the blood tests as her so that's a good sign its going ahead. Time I got bumped off was on a Friday so looking hopeful for 13th.

Hello from Canada! We set off yesterday just as DH succumbed to the lurgy. I was putting some surplus food into the community larder up the road and a neighbour saw me and offered us a lift to the station which was a great start. Our train was late to London but that meant we got a refund on the fares. The flight was easy although DH spent a lot of it in the lavatory. We found our hotel which is nice although it won’t give me hot water from the tap, only DH ???
We are now visiting with my elderly cousin a few hours away before our bike tour starts. It has rained a lot but we are indoors and catching up on sleep.
So far everybody has been friendly and welcoming and DH is recovering.

Have a lovely holiday @ClashCityRocker and don’t worry. The little one will enjoy the simplest things.

Have great trips Clash and Top. I'm off to the airshow in Blackpool today.

Started the new job, everyone's been lovely, although I'm still not entirely sure my job actually is going to be! It's been great getting out and meeting new people, and the office is a really nice too. Apparently, they have a health and well-being program to support people with cancer to get fit before operations and recover afterwards, although I've never heard of this before, It's just a sort of stuff that we've talked about on here. Although I suspect it's aimed at people with a lower level of fitness than I have!

DM is still in hospital, she was completely delirious in the middle of the week and when I visited her, she kept telling me that she couldn't do her job anymore, even though she's 91 and retired! Yesterday the physio called me from the hospital and said they were going to send her home without a care package. I argued really strongly against this, DM told me she couldn't come out because it's Easter, she's still in pain, and last week when she was admitted she had painkillers all over the house and had no idea what she'd taken, but the physio didn't seem to be taking any notice, then DD phoned the ward and spoke to a nurse who said no they wouldn't release her without a care package, but then the nurse put DD on to DM who told DD she would never forgive her for interfering and then sent to a stroppy text, so I had DD in tears as well. Not what I really need the first week of my new job. Not being able to get out of hospital though is entirely a situation of DM's own making as she has repeatedly refused to get private care in place. Some of the staff at the hospital seem to expect me to just jump in and sort everything out, but I haven't got the energy or the inclination to do it.

What's everyone else up to this weekend?

Enjoy your holiday @TopOfTheCliff . My sister told me the other day that my dad had been offered a job in Canada (this was back in the 1970s) but my mum wouldn't leave her elderly parents so we ended up not emigrating. Just think, I could have been a Canadian. It always looks quite laid back, I'd have like that.

Glad your first day at work went well @SierraSapphire . Stand firm with the hospital regarding your mum.

It's DH's birthday on Monday so I'm off present shopping for him a bit later. I have in mind to buy him a Chrome book.

Have a wonderful holiday Top and hope your DH is better soon.

Hope new job goes well Sierra

Happy birthday to your DH MissMarples

Operation is still on for 7am on Tues 13th and go in for afternoon of Mon 12th as well. Yesterday had to search out all the old reference places e-mails which was a bit challenging and I am not sure if they will have records going that far back and even if they do it will just be dates. One a senior person who is lovely has agreed to do it so I know 1 out of 3 which covers 3 of the 5 years will be done definitely and I think that should be enough unless they are very strict. The other two might have records, one I know does have my pension record so I must exist somewhere. Thankfully I prefer 12 weeks after the operation anyway so plenty of time. Then had a call for DSs UC and they said they were going to call us every week and what time was good next week - um I am having an 11 hour operation on Tuesday and have to be there Mon afternoon and DS the chance DS will start talking or writing and interacting and leaving house next week are zero. She did then contact her manager and they changed it to 6 weeks which is much better. But they said its 11 months now to get LCWRA rather than the 3 months its supposed to take.

This weekend have cleaners coming on Sunday morning for first time in 4 months who do half the house. We will do tidying for that and some hoovering of other half - just want house all done pre surgery as DH is oblivious. Might also do some gardening so can fill the 2 green bins before surgery. Garden is looking quite nice now but always more to do. Its been so busy I don't mind at the moment doing nothing after surgery though that may change after surgery.

Have a fantastic time @TopOfTheCliff and @clash
@SierraSapphire that sounds really promising re new job- sounds a supportive place. Sorry you are having such a tough time with your dm- your poor dd. My dm never mastered texting thank goodness. But hold the line- unsafe discharge, risk of readmittance.
@Penguinsa its all getting a bit real about the job! Sorry the system is so tough to navigate with ds.
@MissMarplesNiece enjoy shopping. I’m staying with dd in Clifton and going out for afternoon tea later as a treat for my birthday. We might see some balloons go up too!

Happy birthday Thesandwich have a lovely afternoon tea.

Hello everyone, good to read of all the progress and plans. I’m sorry about your DM @SierraSapphire That sounds very tough for you and DD. Stay strong, you are in the right.

I had breakfast with a friend yesterday and did a couple of hours in the garden. While out walking with my friend she pointed out that the local cycle path I walk on all the time is infested with Japanese knotweed so I got a bit stressed about checking the wild bits of our garden but I think we have escaped so far. I am going to keep separate garden shoes from now on, and DH pushes his bike through the garden when he comes back from a ride so need to be careful.

I was going to plough through some sadmin for DF but discovered a few minutes in that his name has been misspelled on the death certificate. DSis did the registration on her own as there was only one appointment available and I couldn’t get there in time. But tbh, I might not have spotted it either and I do feel that’s largely on the registrar, it wasn’t an unusual name. So that’s all the sadmin on hold. I sat and watched some Olympics instead! We are off in holiday on Weds so it can all wait. The funeral is largely arranged at least.

Have a lovely holiday Dotty.

Just done pre DIEP appointment and should be tomorrow unless an emergency comes in.

Thanks @Penguinsa - everything crossed for you tomorrow.
@dotty have a great holiday.

Ah, Good luck tomorrow @Penguinsa - how are you feeling?!

And glad you're going on holiday @dotty2 - hope you have a great time.

Thanks very much Sandwich and Sierra

Greetings from Canada.

Good luck @Penguinsa we will see you on the other side. I hope your house is sparkling clean.
@dotty2 you deserve a lovely family time knowing your DF would be pleased you got away together.
@thesandwich one year my student flat was in Clifton and the balloons came right over the roof of the house barely twenty feet away. It was so beautiful and exciting. Hope the afternoon tea was good.

I am very happy to be well again and fit enough to have cycled 34 miles yesterday and 42 miles today. I am not sore and it is easy cycling with lots of stops for snacks and photos. We are in an area where the locals speak French not English which is super cool. I am so pleased to be back on my bike exploring new places with DH. It’s how things used to be Before Cancer. I’m being quite mindful about eating as I still have a lot of fat to lose, but cycling for six hours a day helps a lot!