The Great Cancer Recovery part 3

[TopOfTheCliff]

You may have finished active treatment for cancer, be in remission or NED. You want to look forward not dwell on the past. You know you ought to be eating well, exercising more and picking up the threads of your old life. Join us and share the ups and downs of recovery. We understand!

Here are some resources we found helpful:

The Mountain Lion
https://www.cancerpal.co.uk/post/what-it-s-really-like-to-receive-a-cancer-diagnosis

Peter Harvey on Psychology of recovery:
https://workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

Resources from Penny Brohn:
https://pennybrohn.org.uk/our-approach/resources/

Breast Cancer Now Moving Forward:
https://breastcancernow.org/information-support/support-you/moving-forward

Get your Oomph Back with Carolyn Garritt
http://www.oomph.london/home.html

Charity providing treats for cancer patients:
https://somethingtolookforwardto.org.uk/

Exercise is good for you:
https://www.webmd.com/cancer/features/exercise-cancer-patients

Any more suggestions? Post them below

There is also a thread for those suspected to have cancer, or newly diagnosed and facing treatment, and also a thread for those with Stage IV cancer who want to talk to others in the same boat.

I read a research paper @Penguinsa that said they were better outcomes for two groups of people in terms of psychology - one was the positive and proactive people who took control and tried to do as much as they possibly could, and the other with the group that was in denial that anything bad was going to happen to them! Quite opposite reactions, but I guess what they share is a will to do something about it rather than feeling a victim of your situation. The breast cancer modelling is way more sophisticated than anything that we have for endometrial or ovarian cancer, I guess this can become overwhelming as where like @SummerCycling  you feel it's not giving you very good predictions.

Also does that mean you're going for the job @Penguinsa ?

Must be amazing to be at the Olympics @TopOfTheCliff - enjoy every minute! It seems to be just swimming every time I turn the television on, though I did say a bit of BMXing - that's a mad sport! - And also Alex Yee winning the triathlon.

I am still trying to sort the car out, I need to buy a new one probably tomorrow to start my new job on Monday but I'm waiting for savings to transfer into my bank account, so it may or may not happen. I keep phoning the insurance every day as well, if they haven't sorted the claim out the insurance for the new car is going to cost me an extra £200 because it has to go down as a fault until the claim's settled. I can't get to the outdoor pool without a car, so in my last week before working and hot hot sun I'm really missing it. I'm going to get up and go for a run though before the day gets hot.

Glad you are enjoying the Olympics Top

That's interesting Sierra I would classify myself as mostly a denier now (whereas in treatment I was a hyper anxious analysing everything type) and it definitely helps with stress levels and calmness. Though DSs situation sent stress through the roof year after treatment and was quite worried as the only thing I had pre treatment as a risk factors was years of stress re lack of SN support for DS etc on moving to new area / secondary not helped by lockdown. Obviously no idea if that was the cause or just random.

I do love the Predict Breast model for information but have to be careful not to go back into over analysing mode and also I am quite surprised they make it available online. I think its good to get oncology to do it to see what data they use the first time if you can ever find an oncologist or surgeon with free time, not easy. Though good to see new version with better results and I also have minimal benefit from after 5 years Tamoxifen around 0.6% to 0.7% so 1 person in 200 saved and the rest same outcome though lots of increased risk for other things. Though I do wish we knew stage 4 on that. Ah the overanalysing rabbit hole is starting!

Will get back to Olympics. Hope you find a car solution Sierra How annoying to miss David Lloyd. Would they give you a hire car or reimburse taxis? I don't drive so a bit clueless but we've had hire cars free before from garages.

Yes I have accepted job and now trying to sort dental checks and medical checks, DBS and references. Dental was not too bad, medical is proving trickier. Especially as want done before op on 13th and have to go in to hospital on 12th so really needs doing by 9th and needs bloods and urine results and long form. I am looking into private but they need a copy of medical records and trying to get that from GP who say they can do it "relatively quickly" but aren't known for speed.

Oh @Penguinsa that's so exciting!
@SierraSapphire really hope you can sort out transport. V frustrating.
Have a brilliant time @TopOfTheCliff

Thanks TheSandwich Now have GP records though didn't read them but forwarded them to Nuffield and booked medical with bloods etc for Monday.

Well done @Penguinsa for getting the paperwork sorted.
Good luck with the car @SierraSapphire could you hire one and claim the expense from your insurance?
I have seen two days of racing, at least the tiny dots on the horizon are the fleet racing. Yesterday we hung out with some Canadians and today with the Belgian Sailing Federation. It is so hot I am hoping to sweat off some fat! We are eating salads fruit and fish mainly. Tomorrow is a sightseeing day, then one last day of watching racing, then home. It’s been so good for me, and my friend is a delight too. I’m very glad I came!

Some progress! I got two trains and an Uber to a Toyota dealership in another city that had more choice and more cars than the closest one (I was supposed to get three trains but I got on the wrong second one entirely through my own stupidity - assuming it was going from the same platform it used to go from in about 2016!) and put a deposit on a car that I can pick up from tomorrow (if my money appears in my bank account from my savings). I also got my insurance payment through, and more than I would have got from selling it, so result there too! It does go down as at fault with the insurance though as it the money can't be recovered by them. I did have the courtesy car option on my insurance, but turns out that's only whilst your car is being repaired.

Then I went across to see my cousin who's over from America and aunt who lives near there. I've got a long ish three-train journey home now though. And I've now got a report to finish tomorrow.

A quick update to say DF died peacefully in his sleep yesterday afternoon. I wasn’t there in the end but don’t feel too bad about that. I spent lots of time with him over the final few days. I’d spent Tuesday and the first part of Wednesday with him but had come home on Weds afternoon to spend a night with the DDs as my sister was there and he had been relatively bright and was eating and drinking so I didn’t think it was so imminent. But he just fell asleep Weds evening and didn’t wake up at all on Thursday. He wasn’t in any pain, and was just very tired and weak. It has been so quick, only 2 weeks since he was managing independently at home. AML is such an aggressive cancer. But there are blessings in a quick end too.

Now trying to decide whether to go ahead with our holiday in 2 weeks time and postpone the funeral to the end of August. For various reasons we can’t do it before we go but could do it slightly sooner if we cancelled.

Thank you all for your kindness and support. I’m pleased your car is sorted, @SierraSapphire

Really sorry @dotty2 - it's a shock even when you're expecting it. But sounds like the end was as good as it could have been, that's how I felt about my DF. I would say if you think you would enjoy and benefit from it then still go on holiday, there's no harm in having the funeral a bit later, but if you think you'll be too distracted and sad then that is more a reason to move it

Aw @dotty2 sorry for your loss, that was very quick. Take time now, no rush to make decisions. We had to wait five weeks for MILs funeral. Perhaps you could make the plans, go away on holiday then come back to celebrate your lovely DF. In the scheme of things it makes no difference unless there are religious considerations.
We have just lost DHs uncle. I think we will be in Canada and miss his funeral which is a shame.

Oh @dotty I am so sorry for your loss- glad you got to spend time with him. As others have said, I’m glad it was peaceful. Do think about your holiday- will you be able to park stuff and get away? Dms funeral was over a month after her death- helped us get everything together, and maybe for you less people away? Sadmin can wait. Is your dd going with you? You so deserve a break.
im sorry about your dh’s uncle @TopOfTheCliff

Good news! (Not car related where there is no news, as savings still haven't transferred.) My blood tests have all come back normal, including CA125 (ovarian cancer marker). Letter arrived at lunchtime.

Oh that is good news @SierraSapphire Just in time to have it off your mind for your new job. I’m pleased for you.

Thank you all for your perspectives on funeral timing. I was worried people would think it was selfish to delay for the sake of a holiday. But I think I can still enjoy it and dad knew we were going and I’m sure wouldn’t have minded himself if we went. And it also means DF’s own vicar whom he knew well will be back from holiday and can do the service.

That’s good news @SierraSapphire - you deserve some. Have commented on the elderlies board- so sorry you’re having to deal with another ambulance call-out.
And @dotty2 no it is not at all selfish to delay the funeral- and having your Df’s own vicar will make everything more more authentic and I’m sure as your Df would want. The break will give you time to breathe, and ensure you are able to give your df the kind of send off he and you deserve.

Yeah thanks @thesandwich - not enough time to process anything for myself before the next crisis! DD's on her way home, she's planning to go to London tomorrow but said she'll take over from me if needed. I really need driving to Coventry to get my car!

In other news, I have to rearrange a mammogram now I’m going on holiday. Appointment letter came from ‘ radiology appointments’, no instructions on what to do if not convenient. Only phone number main switch board. I eventually got through to the switch board who put me through to radiology appointments who said they didn’t deal with mammograms and didn’t know who I needed to speak to. At that point, I thought I might actually cry and hung up.

So sorry about your DF Dotty Definitely go on your holiday as planned and hope you and your children have a wonderful time. Its breast care nurses that do mammos at mine, hope you can get them to sort it.

Enjoy rest of your holiday Top sounds great and exactly what was needed.

Sierra Glad there is progress and great results are good.

Got dental checks for job done and dental check up 8.30am but good to have done and all fine, even got told my tooth cleaning is good. Then went on to RHS Hyde Hall which has a flower show on, had a cream tea and latte, walk around gardens and flower show and bought 5 plants then came back and had a drink in our garden on our new garden table and chairs and could admire how much better our garden looks after all the work we have done. Op still seems to be on 13th, no call today afaik. Phew. Medical on Monday for job, gone private at Nuffield and should refund. Private dentist did for free. DH is still on holiday and will try and arrange some nice days out for next week. DS opened the curtains whilst we were in garden which was encouraging. Dentist had said about a water flosser and to use in bathroom so got one and tried it first time and of course Floof followed but is terrified of water and as I started it I heard a big crash like a big cat collapsing in horror and turned around to see a shocked floof. But he then recovered and very cuddly again and last night ate a buzzy fly I had in about 30 secs.

@dotty2 very sorry about your DF. I hope your holiday will allow you to take your mind off things. Sorry about the mammogram scheduling nuisance. It can be so frustrating and the last straw sometimes.
@Penguinsa, congratulations on the remote island job! Sounds exciting. Equally exciting is your Diep op. Long-ish recovery but I can understand the excitement after a long wait. Hopefully that will allow you to turn a new page.
@Topofthecliff enjoy the rest your time at the Olympics.

I had my lymphoedema surgery a few days ago and feeling sorry for myself. Stuck indoors on the sofa having to keep my arm elevated. Wondering whether it was the right thing to do. Huge expense with no guarantees. Can't swim or go to the gym for 6 weeks. Trying to type and get work done is also a pain as it is my dominant arm. We'll, there's no turning back so we'll see how it all goes.

Enjoy the nice weather all if you can!

Thanks Isa Well done on getting surgery done and hope it helps. Sorry about the recovery boredom. Though with my first 2 surgeries I was told originally no swimming for 6 weeks and both cases in the end they let me after 3 weeks so maybe ask and see if any flexibility. Went swimming on 30th and full of kids on summer holidays though better by 8pm. Hope its not too long. It normally does improve week on week at least. Could you go in the garden at least. The Olympics are good to watch now.

Sorry to hear about your DF @dotty2. I think going on holiday is the right thing to do.

I'm so excited for @penguinisa and her new job!

Glad you're enjoying the Olympics @topofthecliff. Is it swelteringly warm over there? We're heading to Paris just after they finish and I'm slightly concerned about the temperatures! Been hot enough here over the last week or so.

I've had a lovely couple of days in Cambridge - what a beautiful place to wander around at dusk when the crowds have died down. I spent much of the time fantasising about being a Cambridge university student.

Got my appointment through for oncology checkup and it's two months from my scan date so I'm assuming nothing of interest on the scan...of course I could ring them to check but meh, ignorance is bliss and all that.

Sorry you're struggling @isaxx - I also found the recovery hard. Too much time to think and no scope to exercise is not a recipe for calm. I try to look at the LVA gamble this way - you will never know how bad it might have got if you hadn't had it done.

(Btw, my instructions said no swimming for 3 weeks, no running for 4, and no yoga or weights for 6, so a bit less cautious.)

I went swimming yesterday for the first time in 2 weeks as I had no opportunity to go while DF was ill. I am stiff and sore today, which is a lesson learned the hard way.

I am starting to allow myself to look forward to my holiday a little, and also trying to do some nice things this weekend as I can't really do any sadmin yet as we won't be able to register the death until the middle of next week.

Have a lovely time in Paris Clash

Have a lovely holiday Dotty hope you all enjoy it.

Just did 3.5 hours gardening with DH, filled both green bins and planted all the plants we got from the flower show. Had a lovely bath then had a sandwich (roast dinner at lunch) then was going to have sponge pudding and custard but DS swiped the custard. So having a milky coffee after sponge pudding. He also made himself hot dogs and took a bath whilst we were gardening, half a bottle of conditioner gone, something I never expected from a teenage asd boy. 😂

@dotty2 the time after a death before you can do the practical stuff is quite peaceful. It seems right to remember the departed with sorrow and love and be kind to each other before all the mundane stuff begins.
@Penguinsa what will happen to your garden while you are away on Remote Island? Will you get tenants in? Or a regular gardener? I’m worrying for your plants now 😂
We are coming home today but my companion has succumbed to food poisoning so I’m trying to work out how to get her back. I’m staying vegetarian.

It gets worse! Friend rallied after an awful night so I bought her a coke and got a taxi to the airport. While we were checking in the airport got evacuated for an emergency so we are sitting in the sun waiting for news. What’s the third thing to go wrong today?

Oh dear @TopOfTheCliff . I said that about my car, first the windscreen got chipped, then a stud on the hub was broken when replacing the tyres. On the Friday I said I don't believe in things going wrong in threes, and then on the Saturday my car got damaged in the fire 😂. I think you've had plenty of other things go wrong, just include one of those in the three! Hope you get back soon.

@TopOfTheCliff I hope you are now back in the airport & boarding your flight soon.