The Great Cancer Recovery part 3

[TopOfTheCliff]

You may have finished active treatment for cancer, be in remission or NED. You want to look forward not dwell on the past. You know you ought to be eating well, exercising more and picking up the threads of your old life. Join us and share the ups and downs of recovery. We understand!

Here are some resources we found helpful:

The Mountain Lion
https://www.cancerpal.co.uk/post/what-it-s-really-like-to-receive-a-cancer-diagnosis

Peter Harvey on Psychology of recovery:
https://workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

Resources from Penny Brohn:
https://pennybrohn.org.uk/our-approach/resources/

Breast Cancer Now Moving Forward:
https://breastcancernow.org/information-support/support-you/moving-forward

Get your Oomph Back with Carolyn Garritt
http://www.oomph.london/home.html

Charity providing treats for cancer patients:
https://somethingtolookforwardto.org.uk/

Exercise is good for you:
https://www.webmd.com/cancer/features/exercise-cancer-patients

Any more suggestions? Post them below

There is also a thread for those suspected to have cancer, or newly diagnosed and facing treatment, and also a thread for those with Stage IV cancer who want to talk to others in the same boat.

Ooh I have just had such a nice evening! I am getting organised for the black tie ball I am going to in two weeks. I went through my wardrobe from my former life as the wife of the eminent scientist. I tried on the little black dresses and smart gowns. Most are too small but some still fit. I have five more coming from online shops in the next day or so, and some smart friends lined up to help me decide which to keep and which to send back. Then I tried on all my underwear and chucked out all the surgical bras and shabby old things. I’ve got a pedicure and manicure and a haircut and colour booked. It feels like a relaunch! I recommend it as a morale booster.

Hope you feel a bit more like yourself soon @TopOfTheCliff !

I have an electric throw @Penguinsa that I've used over the last couple of winters while working at home. I thought this year with the new job I can save money by going into the office to work, but the office is an old converted factory and has the original metal windows that are apparently a bit leaky so the office can be quite cold too.

Another fairly low-key weekend for me, I slept for a full eight hours last night without waking up which it's pretty much unheard of as I've been really tired. I've got the usual walks and coffee and tennis, but I also need to sort out the invitations for my DM's celebration of life.

Hurray @Zoopet glad that's treatment done with! My treatment was super radio intensive - 25 sessions then three brachytherapy. I remember just sort of collapsing in a heap when I was done with it.

@sierrasaphire I agree there's no harm in gently telling your daughter that you don't want to know too many details of her work. It's not the same thing but we've currently got a few people close to us who are going through diagnosis/treatment and it's bothering me a bit as I'm treated as the 'cancer guru' despite them all being on different treatment plans etc. I keep trying to explain that even those I met on the same treatment plans had a wide array of side effects and the severity of them so my experience was just that - my experience. I think sometimes people see cancer as a single disease when really it's a blanket term covering so many.

In good news, scan came back clear! There's a bit of inflamed scar tissue but there was on my scan twelve months back and it hasn't grown and doesn't twinkle so they're happy it's benign. So I'm officially one and a bit year cancer free. I think the two year point will feel more of a milestone, as the risk of recurrence drops significantly at that point. I've started to lose the 'living scan to scan' feeling and the sensation that I'm just waiting for bad news which is good.

Haha @topofthecliff that does sound like a morale booster! I think I'm going to treat myself to some new clothes for the winter, I think last winter I just lived in fleecy leggings

Sounds like your morale booster has done you good, @TopOfTheCliff .

That's great news @ClashCityRocker - I had some granulation tissue on my vaginal cuff scar that they biopsied last year, tense wait but it came back negative. I also remember counting down to the two years, which was May just gone for me. I do still worry about recurrence, but not as much as I did.

I have had a mixed week. I had my two year mammogram and got the all clear in the post this morning after only 4 days, so super quick. So that was a relief. But I also had a lymphoedema appointment and my swelling had increased a little, which was disappointing. The nurse was confident it could just be a blip, but it sent me spiralling a bit.

Still skipping. I can manage nearly 100 now, in blocks of about 30.

I’ve had some challenging conversations with both my DDs this week who are at a bit of a crossroads in different ways. (Back to uni and applying for uni). Both need a lot of support at the moment and I am feeling a bit burnt out emotionally. Also taking a few days off to start clearing DF’s house. So it feels like a lot. I sympathise with the situation with your DD @SierraSapphire I think you have to protect yourself a bit emotionally but if you discourage her it could come back to bite you later. It’s a tough one.

celebrating with you @ClashCityRocker great news

Great scans are clear Clash and Dotty

Electric throw sounds nice Sierra I have lots of fleece things coming from Dunelm, luckily weather is warm now until operation.

Did some gardening with DH and cleaned downstairs with him as well. Got some tulip bulbs planted, some weeding etc and garden is looking really nice. Its also good for exercise and using up calories.

DD has been doing river tours today, quite a nice day here. 3 weeks now until she's off.

Great news @ClashCityRocker and @dotty2 we like clear scans on here.
My mood is up again, the clothes sorting really helped! I persuaded DH we needed a mini adventure so we drove up to North Devon and cycled to the coast. It was so pretty and the sun shone and we saw lots of deer. Then we went for a nice meal and listened to Last Night of The Proms in the car. It was a fab afternoon out and not too exhausting and a sign of things to come .

That sounds nice Top

Have just had Sunday roast and gardening with DH. 3 missed calls though from an unknown number Sunday at 5pm which am hoping isn't hospital cancelling again but generally unknown is them. Supposed to be Tuesday 7am. Though strange to call on a Sunday. I am supposed to have marking appointment tomorrow but not until lunchtime. I wish they would leave a message, they have a messaging system, no idea why they are not using it.

Oh no @Penguinsa , surely not another cancellation. Keeping everything crossed that's not what it was.

Oh @Penguinsa you are going to be on tenterhooks right up till they put you to sleep! Fingers crossed for you x

I am a bit fed up tonight. I went out with my cycle club today cheerfully thinking I could keep up and it was a hilly ride. In Devon that means VERY hilly! I was slow at the back and after about 8 miles realised I was annoying the ride leader. She is quite impatient with needy people 🙄😂 I took the decision to leave the ride and go home by myself. I had a nice quite short intense ride and am definitely improving but not back to my former standard. Now I am really worried I will be a liability in France and DH will want to ride with his friends not with his slowpoke DW 😨
I have lost a stone and am back on my usual bike. I still need to lose another stone to be competitive. Friends keep saying “ oh just ride your ebike!” But I don’t want to. I want to be fit and fast again. Bah!
On the plus side, nothing hurts and my new hip is giving me more power.
I am being a prima donna aren’t I 😂

It would be odd for them to call you on a Sunday @Penguinsa - so let's hope it's something else, but how annoying.

You're not being a prima donna @TopOfTheCliff - i'm quite fit but I have felt disheartened in some gym classes or tennis where I just feel. I have no chance of keeping up. Not so much because of cancer, but because I am a mid 50s woman and not a 20 or 30 something bloke. Age and sex differences are real. It pisses me off that my gym doesn't seem to take much notice of this, apparently other David Lloyds do have classes for over 50s.

I'm in the process of going through DM's house @dotty2, we're getting it valued this week, but as we want to leave it mainly as it is for selling, I'm mostly just going through paperwork and photos and working out what any of us wants to take personally. It's odd going into her house though kind of frozen in time at the point at which she left. You need to prioritise yourself though, and consider providing less support to your DDs than you would ideally like if it's affecting your health and wellbeing. I have at times had to leave DD to it and she seems to have survived! She was complaining at me just after my DM died about her wisdom tooth, and I quite enjoyed saying to her "I don't care"! Clearly, I would not say that about anything more serious (and she has been fantastic around DM)

Right, I suppose I should make breakfast and get off to work !

Fingers crossed @Penguinsa, it would be very strange for the hospital to call on a Sunday.

I think it's normal to feel a bit frustrated when you can't do something that you want to and used to be able to @TopOfTheCliff. The gym and tennis situation sounds a bit annoying @SierraSapphire, is there a way of providing some feedback? There might be a demand for separate groups.

On the school run this morning a parent who I've never spoken to before asked if my treatment had been successful. It seemed quite a high stakes question to ask.

I feel like I'm going backwards a bit in terms of tiredness, though still can't sleep. Only a few more weeks of treatment to go though and then hopefully things will improve again. I'm still lacking eyebrows and would also quite like it if they grew back.

Everything crossed @penguinsa. I know it sounds trite, but @TopOfTheCliff look how far you’ve come. I’m sure your dh has more patience than mardy ride leader.
@sierra clearing houses is tough- I wimped out a bit by separating all paper needed for probate etc and took it home, then boxed up all the personal photos etc and left them in a cupboard at dms. Now the house has sold our spare room is crammed with boxes of photo albums etc to be sorted “ over the winter” when it’s too cold and wet to be outside.

Thanks everyone. Still no idea who called 3 times yesterday at 5pm with no caller id and no message but I have called the hospital and as far as they know it wasn't them. And the lady said if it was them someone should have recorded it on the system. So will go in today for marking and hopefully op will happen tomorrow. I have got lots of hayfever but not sure if allowed my anti-histamines, just nervous I will get cancelled for having a cold. DD has one but been staying well away. There seems some confusion over whether I need more bloods or not as pre op was mid July, some are saying I do, some I don't so will get some done.

@demivolte I feel like I'm going backwards in terms of tiredness too. It's very frustrating - when I'm tired I dont eat properly and tend to slide into debilitating depression and find myself in ever decreasing circles. I feel my self sliding now. I need to pull out of it before the winter comes.

I'm going for a walk around a nearby garden with my DSis this afternoon. Hopefully some fresh air and afternoon sun will make me feel a bit better.

Marking and bloods now done though awaiting 1 result which hope will be in by 7am tomorrow.

@penguinisa everything crossed for tomorrow!

@sierrasaphire our gym does have classes that are gentler but they're just too gentle - there really is a gap at our David Lloyds that could do with filling. Fortunately the padel community there are mostly older ones who are struggling a bit with tennis so I'm ok!

I do think I'm more critical of my abilities than I was before treatment whereas previously I wouldn't have over thought it so much.

I remember a phonecall to dp getting a bit glum about how tired I felt - and he quite rightly pointed out that I'd kayaked the best part of 100km in four days and I should be feeling bloody tired - turns out the rest of the group were also knackered. Sometimes I forget that prior to cancer I wasn't a superhuman and had tired and off days too!

Fingers crossed for you @Penguinsa !

I have fed back to them @demivolte in person and online that the tennis classes are disheartening and that I've been hurt by men hitting the ball too hard at me but David Lloyd don't seem to care. The tennis coaches at my club are all men. I've got a small group of women that I play with occasionally and I really enjoy that and have no issues, but it depends on our schedules coinciding and isn't a regular thing. I'm fitter and do more exercise than most of my friends. I think I'm more achy though since having a job and doing much more sitting, though eventually I hope to be out and about more.

Thanks Sierra and Clash. Final bloods in at 10.07pm, going right up to the wire. DD baked me pre surgery cookies which was lovely. So hopefully 7am diep is on. Eek.

Thinking of you today @Penguinsa One of the things DD liked about her student placement was speaking to the women the other side of their reconstructions (in outpatients for their check ups) and seeing the difference it made, you'll be there soon!

I’m sitting in the waiting room at the private hospital before a tiny procedure to remove a wart from inside my nostril. I’m hoping @Penguinsa is now in theatre having her op. DH has been great dropping me off early but wanted to do the surgery himself with pliers and a soldering iron and save £500.
I am being brave because this warty thing is deeply unattractive and I don’t want future grandchildren seeing it. Ugh I do hate the whole patient experience.

@Penguinsa everything crossed for you. Keep us posted.
Sorry about the wart @TopOfTheCliff but pleased that you did not let DH deal with it! Hah! £500 well spent no doubt.

At my end, I am having an anxiety attack about my lower back pain and wondering whether to try and see how it goes for a bit longer or contact the hospital.

I have started exercising again after my LVA surgery. I thought my back ache might have been from too much sitting. It is not going away however and continues into the night which is supposed to be a 'red flag'. Have any of you ever had lower back/buttock pain on one side that feels like a constant dull ache that just won't go away no matter what you do and that continues even when trying to sleep?

It could be all sorts of things @isaxx but best to contact the hospital, that's what they're there for. Sorry, you're having to go through all the anxiety. I often dread making those sort of calls, but then once I've spoken to the nurse, wonder why I was so anxious about calling. It's horrible when you've got a niggle like that though.