The Great Cancer Recovery part 3

[TopOfTheCliff]

You may have finished active treatment for cancer, be in remission or NED. You want to look forward not dwell on the past. You know you ought to be eating well, exercising more and picking up the threads of your old life. Join us and share the ups and downs of recovery. We understand!

Here are some resources we found helpful:

The Mountain Lion
https://www.cancerpal.co.uk/post/what-it-s-really-like-to-receive-a-cancer-diagnosis

Peter Harvey on Psychology of recovery:
https://workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

Resources from Penny Brohn:
https://pennybrohn.org.uk/our-approach/resources/

Breast Cancer Now Moving Forward:
https://breastcancernow.org/information-support/support-you/moving-forward

Get your Oomph Back with Carolyn Garritt
http://www.oomph.london/home.html

Charity providing treats for cancer patients:
https://somethingtolookforwardto.org.uk/

Exercise is good for you:
https://www.webmd.com/cancer/features/exercise-cancer-patients

Any more suggestions? Post them below

There is also a thread for those suspected to have cancer, or newly diagnosed and facing treatment, and also a thread for those with Stage IV cancer who want to talk to others in the same boat.

@Penguinsa thanks for the tip, I won't delay the surgery then,assuming they will.

@TopOfTheCliff it was with Pure Gym and it was an introduction to the weights area, (similar to the induction they offer). In theory there were 4 spaces, but since I was the only one booked on it was like a private PT session. Mostly free weights, using the second lowest weight (4kg I think) they had and working lots of different muscle groups. Squats, lunges then bench in a sat up then a probe position all with dumbbells, then learning how to use the pull down machine thingy.

Was told to start with a lighter weight and more reps. When I find it easier increase the rate and reduce the reps. Hope that's helpful. I was struggling to lift our slightly heavy frying pan, so was feeling very weak and needing to get some strength back!

Well done to your DD Sierra that's brilliant news.

Oneboob I would maybe ask how long waiting list is and when it starts, as they often say things like its a year long but not that you also don't get put on it for a year. But it can vary by op, smaller ops can be shorter waits. Some horrendous waits for delayed DIEP.

Just done some hoovering today, Sunday lunch and apple crumble and custard. DD been working punting.

Fantastic news about your dd @SierraSapphire
interesting what you say re exemetese @top I’m due to start that after a week in devon next week, after a break from letrozole.
How has everyone found it? I am weighing up persevering with ais. Got 3rd year mammogram when we’re back, so will have more info to decide.
Two nephews off to uni in the next week- with Wetherspoons gift cards from their favourite aunt(well, only aunt🤣🤣)

@TopOfTheCliff I know what you mean about AIs. Sometimes my ankles and wrists feel so weak, despite daily yoga. I have been using Nixon anti hair loss serum daily and my hair seems to have got thicker than it was before I started treatment a year ago!

Have a lovely week in Devon Sandwich hope you get some cream teas in and hope the mammo is clear.

Got the 24th confirmed in writing for surgery this morning then lunchtime got a call from the hospital. How are you? Well that depends on what you are about to tell me fine I reply then she said I am calling about your surgery date. Heart sinks. Then she says are you free on 17th, said yes, and on 16th, yes and its been moved to 17th. Eek but better, its still tight with new job but that gives a much needed week extra. Still going through paperwork with new job so many things to sort. Have to set up accommodation, a HR form and a special bank account now but have provisional start date. 4 weeks until DD goes to uni and sorting things for that. Final boiler thing hopefully tomorrow if they remember to bring parts this time and DS co-operates, has all but one time so far, had something like 5 visits now.

Thanks @Penguinsa . That’s great news about your op- everything crossed for your new date, and boiler.

Hello again, I’ve been absent for a while. I just needed to focus on non cancer patient life for a little bit!

I’m still unemployed and struggling to decide what kind of job I actually want.

DD turned 18 and has discovered drinking and clubbing. Which is all fine and normal except she starts her final exams in 5 weeks. So that was causing some stress. But fortunately the university she wants to attend makes some early offers based on yr 11 results (they finish in yr 12 here) and they’ve given her an unconditional offer to do PPE which is her first choice. So all she has to do is turn up to the exams and she’s in. Phew. And then she’ll move away to Canberra and we will be blissfully unaware of what time she rolls in from a night out.

On the recovery front I have been discharged from acupuncture as my neuropathy is vastly improved. I’m still seeing the exercise physiologist and I’ve kept my weight stable for about 6 months so I’m happy with that.

I’ve fully recovered from the risk reduction hysterectomy and oophorectomy in April and haven’t had any additional symptoms. I’m continuing to try to expand my diet now that I only have 20% of my colon. Some days are hugely successful and others not so much. I went out to a Thai restaurant with a friend last week and ate like a normal person and then spent half the night in the loo so I won’t be doing that again! Went to another Thai place a few nights later and stuck mostly to steamed rice and protein with just a few vegetables and sauces and all was good. I hate being the person that is difficult to cater for but it seems I’m going to have to accept my limitations.

My condolences to @SierraSapphire and anyone else who has lost a loved one recently. My mum turns 89 in a couple of weeks and continues to say ‘oh I’m fine don’t worry about me’ while also letting you know exactly how many days it’s been since your last visit!

Apologies for the essay, I will try to be a more regular contributor and will go back and catch up of everyone’s news.

Thanks @Onelessboob I shall have to plan my week once the cycling trip to France is over. I can’t fit in everything without crippling myself so will need to be rational but I need more muscle mass. I’ve lost the Canadian pounds again thankfully.
I am sore from yesterdays bike ride. The ladies I led were very jolly but as I am a consensual leader I gave them options and they kept choosing the hilly ones. We rode up 350m but it was a lovely outing and the sun shone through the autumnal forest. Today I shall, with some trepidation, go and look at my allotment.
My DM had a visit from my XH (he loves her, understandably). He was upset there was a wedding picture of me with DH on her sideboard. He thought she should take it down when visitors come. I guess he thinks she is HIS MIL and nobody else’s. We split up 14 years ago so he should have moved on. But he was careless and lost a wonderful wife through his neglect. I think I feel a bit sorry for him really.
@Remaker nice to hear from you. Hope your DD gets through the next few weeks without a hiccup.
@Penguinsa fingers crossed for next week. My bone infusion got cancelled and shifted this week but that’s small beer in comparison to your op.
@thesandwich exemestane is much easier than anastrozole for me. It’s just doing what it is meant to do I guess. I’m stubborn so will almost certainly complete the five years.

Hello all it seems ages since I last checked in! I have been busy trying to plan the planting for the garden and trying to grow a lawn. It's starting to come together verrrrry slowly. Faceache isn't helping by showing me adverts for artificial plants - thanks for the faith in my green fingered abilities 😂😂

@sierrasaphire well done to your DD. I often think that they do get there in the end, it's just a rubbish age to make big life choices with very little context.

@penguinisa fingers crossed for everything going smoothly this time!

I'm enjoying settling into autumn. Have my one year review tomorrow where I get my scan results. The rational part of me is thinking that they moved the appointment back so it's two months after the scan and if they'd found anything suspicious i'd know by now....the other part of me is thinking, well, this is the NHS....

In good news, my dad's prostate op was a success and no further treatment, just monitoring. It's been a heck of a week as dp's best mate also got confirmed diagnosis of prostate cancer (treatable thankfully but still), his mother had a lump (turned out to be just fat) and of course my appointment. Health is a very underrated commodity!

I’m sure you are right and it will be all routine tomorrow @ClashCityRocker .
I left the infusion unit today after the last bisphosphonate dose with a weird migraine aura losing central vision, but NO FOLLOW UP! 🥳🥳🥳
I am just on annual screening now. Hooray! I have been quite emotional about it which surprised me but I suppose it is a bigger deal to be totally discharged from oncology than I realised.
I am lounging in bed with a bad headache but making all sorts of plans for the autumn. I need fake grass, as my lawn is north facing and mostly moss. My garden and allotment are covered in convolvulus, but under that are oddly quite tidy. Once they are sorted I want to fit in some more trips away. It’s so freeing to be able to look ahead again.

What you were saying about family and friends with cancer scares is familiar. I think partly I am sensitised to other peoples stories, and partly people seek me out to ask my advice as a cancer expert 🙄 I have a good friend with stage 4 prostate cancer in his spine, and another with stage 4 ovarian cancer nearing the end. Two friends got in touch while waiting for referrals for tests. One was benign, the other a weird neuroendocrine cancer. I guess that is how it will be from now on. Top is the friend that beat cancer twice!

I also had the same fears @ClashCityRocker with my appointment that was six weeks after the actual scan, but I'm also pretty sure that everything will be fine.

And congratulations @TopOfTheCliff on your next milestone. I get migraines with auras sometimes, in fact, I don't ever get the headache just the aura.

I'm tired, I had a really successful evening meeting with my new job last night, but I wasn't home until 9 pm and then in the office again at 8 am. Went to a cardio tennis class this evening but hated it. I am fed up of exercising with men who are aggressive and injure me, but there hardly seems to be any women only stuff anymore. I think I'm feeling more affected by my mum's death than perhaps I am acknowledging too. I think I might stick to yoga for a while!

Yay for no follow up @TopOfTheCliff ! But boo to migraine with aura. DD had one last year and forgot her DOB and address, freaked me out so much.

Thanks Sandwich Hope the week in Devon is going well and you have warm weather.

Good you recovery is going well Remaker

Congrats on getting to the end of treatment again Top

Good luck for results Clash

Glad job is going well Sierra

Just waiting for op on 17th now, already ready pretty much from last 2 cancelled ones and also doing forms for new job for accommodation and HR. DD off to Oxford Uni in 3.5 weeks, just back from week in Venice and off to Formula 1 event this weekend with a friend. Been gardening quite a lot, garden looks lovely now but always more to do, have more bulbs in the post now. Do still feel achy which always makes me a bit nervous but think its too generalised to be cancer and may well be bad posture gardening. I cancelled swimming pre August op so can't go in the jacuzzi and swim it off. Though still had plenty of exercise between gardening and visiting gardens / houses.

Here's an AIBU that you lot will understand!. DD is planning on applying for a cancer nursing post. I haven't said anything to her yet but I feel if she gets it (possibly long shot) I just won't want to talk to her about work for obvious reasons. We talk about everything really at the moment, so it would make a massive difference to our relationship. AIBU to say something to her now, on the one hand she possibly won't get it anyway, so the issue won't arise but on the other if I leave it until really late and she's really bought into the idea of doing it and hasn't pursued other things, then that feels worse. I wouldn't want to stop her doing it. I would just need to be clear with her about my boundaries. What should I do? Would other people feel like this as well, I don't know whether I'm just being particularly sensitive at the moment because of DM, I don't think it's just that though.

If it were me Sierra if I felt cancer nursing was the right choice for DD I would support it. In my case my DD suggested initially studying medicine after my cancer and her brother in hospital and I was concerned about that as it wasn't something she had ever shown interest in before, quite the opposite so I did say to her then of my concerns but said would support her in whatever she wanted to do. In the end she decided she didn't enjoy science subjects and went to economics which I felt a lot happier about. It sounds like nursing is the right choice for your DD and she would probably be excellent in cancer nursing with empathy but I can understand it's not nice for everything to be about cancer or reminders. I think there would be plenty of other things to talk about and you would be really proud of her doing such an important job. I think she may get offered it as they seem to have shortages and she also has experience. I think she must love you a lot to be going for this role. I think if she gets it and cancer talk gets too much just say to her then you find it difficult as it triggers memories. I have found as time goes on it gets a lot easier for me though obviously if it came back or people dying I find very difficult. But there's no right or wrong with this, just what I would do but I am no parenting expert.

Oh Sierra that’s a tricky one! Could you have a conversation around what she will do if she needs support and you feel unable to provide it? Just get her thinking about that? You never want to trample on your kids’ dreams but we have to protect ourselves too.

I recently put up a big boundary when friends were having an ‘alcohol causes cancer’ conversation. I just said please do not discuss anything relating to lifestyle choices and cancer in my presence. It is deeply upsetting (especially when it’s two non drinkers and they know I enjoy a glass or three of wine).

@SierraSapphire my DD2 decided to train as an oncologist just before my first BC diagnosis. She insists it was her idea first! During treatment she was a huge support to me and I was able to teach her a lot about what patients go through. After I finished treatment she came and worked in the hospital that treated me. Just as she moved on I got BC 2 and was treated in the same unit. I was known as "DDs mum". I think I got extra special treatment as a result! There is no doubt I talk to her about things I spare DD1 and DS from. Equally she talks to me about the emotional load of her work but it's not triggering or detailed stuff about cancer. It's more about eg a rude woman who shouted at DD2 because she was terrified and how DD2 handled it, and about her workload. You sound close to your DD so I think you could navigate this with her and just tell her if it gets too much.

Ooo sorry to butt in on your garden Top, but if your lawn is all mossy you could make a moss garden and fernery. That's my dream garden! Japanese influences.

However I've had attempts to do this in a sumless bit of my garden and it ends up ravaged by blackbirds, so...

@HellonHeels I have a lovely fern collection, and Japanese anemones, and bindweed!

Oooo effing bindweed is bane of my life!

Thanks for the comments. I'm sure DD will be great at whatever she does, but I don't think she's given any thought at all to how it might affect me, she mostly seems in denial about my cancer, she hasn't worked in this area before (so less chance of getting it), and she's only applying for this job I feel because there are few nurse associate jobs around and this is one. It's a Macmillan palliative care role so people would be dying all the time (and it's not local, so I wouldn't get special treatment Top if my cancer returned. I did think of you and your DD!). She's waiting to find out whether the department she was doing a placement in, and is currently banking in, will turn a vacant nurse role into a nurse associate role for her, although she'd still have to interview. And she needs a permanent road to find money for her to do an apprenticeship to do her nurse top up, otherwise she's back to university, so there are so many uncertainties in there. I think I might just gently mention the thing about not being able to support her, she's coming home next week so I'll wait until then I think.

It's hard isn't it because on the one hand, you want to protect your child, and I've always been really careful to not lean on her when she was younger, but she has been a great help to me more recently with DM, and I do actually feel quite needy at the moment!

Today I rang the bell 3 times to signify the end of radiotherapy and my current treatment.
It was a good feeling and I hope the bastard cancer doesn't return!
After a year of full on chemo, a lumpectomy and radiotherapy it's good to have a respite.
Long may it continue! Xx

That's great Zoopet long may it continue. I remember being so happy treatment (apart from Tamoxifen) had finished.

Hope you can find a solution Sierra

Had boiler man in to fix boiler, about 7th attempt, it all worked again, then 1 minute after he left trip went and we are now without it again. Am trying to avoids colds etc pre surgery and it is getting quite cold now all of a sudden. Have ordered lots of fleece bedding. Just had a pizza.

Hooray @Zoopet take time to enjoy the feeling! It’s hard to relax and feel positive when recent times have been constant blows. I guess it will come with time passing.

Today I had another migraine so haven’t achieved much but had a nice chat with SIL and a good yoga session and a bit of tidying up the pots by the front door. I feel a bit fragile oddly, not at all brave or daring. Not like myself! It will pass I expect.