Post Natal Depression - 2

[susanmt]

Here we go, this should make things easier!!

Good idea Susan, the other was getting a bit long.

Hope everyone is well, this are getting better now that i/m on 2 pills a day, though still have the odd bad day esp when period is due.

I hope things get better for you Mum2Toby, theres nothing wrong with taking the pills, there are quite a few of us that take various different ones so you are in good company here.

Can you still drink alcohol whilst taking this sort of medication?? The Christmas period would be too traumatic without having a couple of glasses of wine here and there!!

Mum2Toby,
I am taking one tablet a day and my GP said that a couple of glasses of wine now and then is fine - don't overdo it though or you might feel a bit funky!!

Thanks Cookiemonster,

I love Christmas and I love having a few drinks to celebrate!!
My appointment at gp's is 20/12.
My boyf has told me that he's so proud of me taking that first step, I almost cried when he said that! It meant a lot to me and I didn't realise how much my depression has been affecting him. He's been too scared/worried to mention it to me coz he didn't know how I would react!! I've developed such a 'jekyl and hyde' nature......happy and easy-going one day, then miserable and hysterical the next. It's been scaring me too!!

Yes, Mum2Toby, I think we should have some sympathy with husbands/boyfriends who have no idea what PND feels like ... my dh has nearly had his head bitten off a number of times just for asking if I'm OK!
I really hope your visit to the doc is the second step on the road to recovery for you (the first, of course, was admitting to yourself that there is something seriously wrong). You must keep us updated on how it goes.
All the best .... CM

I shall definitely keep you all posted! I only wish I had discovered this website sooner.

My boyf has nearly had his head REMOVED on a number of occasions!! The breaking point has been reached.

I urge anybody who is reading this thread and wondering whether to register or not to JUST DO IT!! Typing the words out may seem futile and pointless, but it's done me the world of good. And it's proven to me that people out there really understand and can help.

After being all supportive for a while I am feeling a bit down myself. FOr a few reasons, none of which I think mean the depression is coming back (still taking the happy pills) but enough to make it feel like that some days.
Firstly, I am SOOOOO tired! I know that is a generic thing for parents, and I do have a 2yr10month dd and a 10 month ds! But it is also partly to do with my kidney stones. They are improving but every so often gove me a sleepless night - usually when I was JUST feeling like I was getting on top of my sleep. When I have them I have to take nasty strong opiate based painkillers (there seems to be no other option) and so I get hungover and unable to sleep for a couple of days afterwards. Like now! (was up all Mon night in pain).
Secondly, although the weather is good the days are SO short here just now. We were out for a walk today and the sun dipped below the horizon at 2.03pm (we live in the mountains). And it doesn't rise till nearly 9am. I know it is just for a few weeks round the solstice and we are lucky to have good weather and live in a place so beautiful that I can take my small children for a 300 yard walk to the shope and throw stones into the icy sea (was beautiful today - in fact dd said 'isn't it pretty here Mummy?) but I still feel the dark, I have always been a biut depressive in the winter.
Thirdly, my dh has been brilliant and arranged childcare for me over the last few months. It has meant I have 2 days a week when I can sleep (sleep off the drugs mainly), make my cards, tidy the house, prepare things for the tourists (we runa s-c cottage) and study for my bfc qualification. But My marvellous childminder is going on maternity leave for 4 months starting next week (i am lucky she has kept going till 38 weeks pg - in fact she says my children are SO nice it has been a help as they have kept her ds amused and she has had an easy time of it - proud mummy me!!!) but I wonder how I am going to cope with no Amanda for 4 months when I am still struggling with the stones and a bit of PND. We have asked around and (as we live ina thinly populated rural area) there may be no-one available on a regular basis to help out. I contacted homestart in our area and there is such a shortage of volunteers that I didn't apply in the end as I will get by.
So am feeling a bit down and tearful today. I know I am not depressed, the tablets are taking care of it and I am not getting sicker, it is just that sometimes I wonder if my life will ever be normal.
Mind you, today we went for our lovely walk (dd was fab 'Why is the grass crunchy, Mummy? Why is the water white, Mummy? OoOoOh look at the pretty ice-curls (icicles) Mummy!) and then went in and ate buscuits and drank hot chocolate and painted our salt dough decorations) so things arent that bad. I just wish I could stop crying tonight!
Sorry to dump, folks. Can anyone sympathise a bit?

I do sympathise susan, it can be a depressing time of year for anyone, I have the odd day of not feeling my old sparky self when its dark and cold outside. Living in a rural area is lovely but sometimes it can be a bit oppressive, can't it? The kidney stones may have a lot to do with it, opiate pain killers can make you feel a bit depressed I think. Don't feel bad about feeling bad (IYKWIM!), there's always mumsnet to talk to and after Christmas there's SPRING - hurrah.

Yes, I can sympathise Susanmt! winter always makes me feel low. I can actually feel my heart sink when it gets past autumn If it gets all snowy and sparkley (and therefore brighter!) I start to feel better.

So sorry you are feeling rough Susan. Do you think you could have a bit of pmt thrown in too? Since i had the mirena coil my pmt has got worse and more often the run of bad days is during the week before my period. I'm thinking of trying some evening primrose. email me if you want to chat, I too am looking for childcare to give me a break, but not had any luck yet, so i think we have a fair bit in common!

No its not PMT - one of the best things about the mirena from my pov is that have no periods and therefore no PMT either!
Am feelinga trifle better this morning - just SOOOOOO exhausted. Have been and had all the tests for anaemia, thyroid etc and am perfectly healthy, so think it is just a chronic case of 2-under-3!

Susanmt I'm the opposite in Winter, I tend to brighten up!! My friends and family think I'm very odd! I'm plagued with asthma and hayfever from May to August so midsummer spells misery for me.

But my Mum gets very down in Winter and so does my boyf. I try to cheer them up which I s'pose makes me forget about my own problems for a wee while.
The area you live in sounds wonderful, but I can understand you must feel very isolated at times. Is there any way you could hire a live-in Nanny from an agency (finances allowing), just for a short time until you start to feel better or until your childminder starts working again?

This might sound like a horrifying prospect, but is there a possibility you might be pregnant again?!! It MAY explain the fatigue.

I doubt I'm pregnant, to be honest, what with my coil and little sex! No, I know it is the ongoing probs of the stones, and I will just have to wait until they are gone! Gosh, I hope I'm not pregnant! I was warned that I could lose a kidney if I had another pregnancy! No, I'd be sicker, I threw up all the time with the last 2!
A live in nanny would be brill, but I just don't see any way to afford something like that - with me not working we are getting by but don't have an awful lot to spare. I also doubt we could get anyone to come and live in the middle of nowhere!
Thanks for your concern, I'll just have to soldier on!

Sorry I couldn't be of more help to you Susanmt. How are you feeling now?? Are things looking any brighter to you?
Did you have a nice weekend? My friends were around with their new baby girl, which made me VERY broody!!
HELP................ somebody talk sense into me!!

I need to get my head sorted out before I go down that road again, tempting as it seems at the moment. It's amazing how your memory clouds over when that maternal instinct kicks in. It should pass in a few days.... hopefully!

It's the dreaded PMT time again!! I lost the plot at my boyf the past 2 nights... I hate feeling like this. I've felt ok for the past week then Monday came along and I sank back down again.
Whenever I am feeling fine I convince myself that if I feel low again I just have to snap out of it! But then the depression kicks in and I feel hopeless and panicky and sad all over again.
This pattern of high low high low high low is driving me INSANE!!!

Sorry folks, just needed a good moan. I'm at work and just needed to get that off my chest!

Mum2Toby,
am I right in thinking your appointment with the doc is sometime soon? I'm sure you'll find yourself on the road to recovery very soon ...
Best wishes .... CM

Yes, my appointment is tomorrow pm. I'm irrationally nervous about it!! But I'm determined not to bottle out of it. i'm feeling a wee bit better today though.......another peak before another trough, I suppose.

Just tell it how it is, Mum2Toby ... don't hold anything back and don't play anything down because you think it's 'daft' or whatever.
All the best and let us know how you get on ... CM

hi Mum2toby - thinking of you for toorrow. Tell the doc the unvarnished truth of how it is on your worst days, as well as how you are feeling right now.
And thanks for replying the other day - I'm back opn top of things now but was really down then - you suggestions really lifted me out of myself (evn if I WAS then worrying I was pregnant all night!!!! I was awake anyway!)

Thanks All!

Sorry Susanmt.... didn't mean to scare you! It is quite a terrifying thought though.

I'll let you all know how it goes at the docs. Although I'm feeling really good this morning.....how typical is that???!

Mum2toby - was thinking abou tyou and wondered how the appointment went? Do you feel up to telling us what the doc said?

Mum2Toby ... where are you? Is everything OK?
Do let us know how it went with the GP ...

How are all the depressed Mummies in the New Year? All the lovely bright cold weather is making me feel a lot better, and fairly cheery at the moment, though our heating is broken so the house is a bit cold as it is still -5 here this morning!!

Happy New Year Everybody!! Thanks so much for thinking of me. The GP was brilliant. She told me what I already knew.... that I was not going mad! She also suggested a herbal remedy called 'Sepia'. Has anyone heard of it or tried it??
She gave me a bit of a row for leaving it until ds was 18 months old!!
She told me about a support group in my area and some ongoing research that I'm an excellent subject for as I am not in what they class as a 'high risk' criteria eg. I have a certain degree of financial stability, a supportive partner, my ds is healthy and I don't have a history of depression.
Now I just have to pluck up the courage to contact the HV about all this!!
How is everybody after the festivities???

I'm afraid that I gave in, and have now gone back on anti-depressants. I am feeling a bit spaced out as I am still in the first few days, but actually do feel brighter. Probably the weather! Dh is going snowboarding for 10 days in early February, so I didn't want to feel depressed if I was going to have to deal with ds all on my own for that amount of time.

Hoping to feel totally brighter soon.