Post Natal Depression - 2

[susanmt]

Here we go, this should make things easier!!

Morph you sound like me a while back.The trouble is when your down your down but then you get a good patch be it a day or a hour or two and you think "hey I'm ok".Its not until you realise that your not ok that you can get the help you need and your the only one that can do that.I find just talking on here really helps as you can say what you feel without being judged.
Good luck at docs let us know how you get on.

Morph if you want to get tech to send on your e-mail then I am happy to be there for you.It helps just to have someone to write to.

went to doctor. he has put me on beta blockers to deal with my anxiety and suggested counselling, which I am considering. My DH and I had an up/down weekend and one major blowout, I guess we have marraige problems which are causing me to feel so low. He behaves really selfishly at times and seems to take on no responsibility for our ds. So he has said he will try his best to make more of an effort , he doesn't mean it he is just wrapped up in himself alot with work etc. The blockers are working well, I still have some anxiety but in the most part my head feels pretty clear, and I can control the anxiety so that I don't feel too loopy, I guess I will just have to see whether it works out. We have booked a holidat for the beginning of may so fingers crossed I can get myself back to normal soon.

Glad to hear that you went to the doc Morph. Do you feel better for talking to him/her about it?

With regards to your marital problems, it sounds like you and dh communicate quite well and that's half the battle. Also, it's great that he is willing to try a bit harder. Just make sure you keep at him in case he think it's just a temporary change he has to make until you're 'better'!

The holiday is a great focus for you too and a good opportunity to maybe get closer to dh again. Good luck and keep posting.

I'd just like to let you know that I am on my second pack of Lustral and the only side affect I had was a dry mouth and bad wind! I was very reluctant about going on them, but they seem to be working, I am not so bothered about things anymore, not obsessed with silly things like housework, not feeling down anymore and not short tempered, I didn't even get PMT last month which is a first for me, even during the easter weekend, I was totally relaxed, so a little bit of advice for all those who are anxious about taking AD's is that they are worth trying - what have you got to loose? The doctor said to look at them as a supplement and thats what I am doing and not feeling bad about taking them.

Also my doctor will only give me one months supply at a time (bit annoyed cos they cost £6+ for the prescription - she said as she wanted to monitor me on them) - is this normal - or is it my doctor being a bit stingy! Thanks btw for those who offered me words of wisdom.

naughtynoonoo - it is quite common just to be given one packet at a time to start with until the doc is sure you are on the right dose and its doing you good - after about 3 motnhs they quite often start giving you 3 months supply at once. Glad to hear you are feeling better.

Regarding counselling, I went to see a lovely woman back in February, but gave up after a while as I clammed up totally. She was just so 'together', I felt that she couldn't possibly understand what PND is like and it got me thinking that perhaps ex-PND sufferers may make the best counsellors.

Quite agree with that Droile as my Doc suffered PND with her children so I feel she really does understand me. My first doc didn't have a clue and thanks to my "HV" I now have one that understands.

Interested to know about the perscripton as I only get 1 month at a time but my maternity cert is soon to run out so will ask for a bulk supply!!!

Naughtynoonoo really glad you are feeling better taking the pills and telling people about PND is one of the hardest things to deal with. Keep taking them don't be tempted to stop just cause your feeling better a mistake I took a while back.

Hi All

Just joined Mumsnet, and have had a brief scan through the messages. Don't know if anyone would be interested, but when I had PND with Joe (3 years on Saturday), I was given details of a local Meet A Mum Association group by my HV. They were a great help, as this is a national charity voluntarily run by Mums for Mums, as a self-help network with particular interest in PND. It helped me so much that I am now on the national managment committee!!! (Never could say no). If anyone is interested in finding out about MAMA, let me know. It may just be the extra support you need.

BabsM999 - That sounds wonderful!
I have been doing ok for the past few months largely due to Mumsnet, I suspect! However, I had a terrible weekend. I can hardly open my eyes today coz I've cried so much. I was hysterical for hours and dp is just at his wits end. He lost his head completely and started shaking me and crying! I can't believe I've driven him to that. Anyway..... that's kind of wandering from the point.

I would be VERY interested in this. I've only spoken to my HV about this once and that was last week at my sons 22 mth check, I've avoided her for months. She seems to think I'm over the worse and gave me a pat on the back.

well am back from holiday mum2toby you were spot on, my dh and I got on like a house on fire, it was like old times. the weeks preceding were much better and I feel really good, stopped the pills through doctors advice, so fingers crossed it all continues, thanks for all your help during that period I don't know what I would have done without the support x

Glad to hear that Morph! I hope it all goes well with coming off your pills.
It's mum2toby by the way, I've just changed my name and havent got around to changing it back yet!

Hi M2T. Let me have your e-mail address and where you live and I'll find out if there is a local group. If not, we are about to launch a new web site with an online forum. If you need someone to chat to anytime, let me know. My e-mail is [email protected].

Well Folks... back here again!

Things have been SO good over the past couple fo months, but for perhaps a fortnight now I've felt really strange, paranoid and vulnerable. My self confidence has completely plummeted! That NEVER happens to me.
I stopped taking the pill about 2 weeks ago (purely coz I've not gotten my new prescription yet) and I'm hoping it may be as simple as that. And I start my new job on Monday so the pressure is unbearable!
I normally thrive under that kind of pressure though and getting in job in the first place shouldh ave made me feel on top of the world and it did at first.

BUT

Here I am again. Twice is 2 days I have cried hysterically. DP has been less than understanding coz he thought that it was all behind us...... in fact he even implied this morning that I did it deliberate to pi$$ him off! YEAH SURE! I rrrrrreally enjoy crying so much that I nearly wet myself (should've bought those cones!)and until I can't breathe or look at myself in the mirror until I look normal again. Yeah I luv it!

WHY NOW??

hope your ok i really do. am stuck as to what to say reallyjust to let you know that i do undersand and fellas are rubbish. i am sure you will be miss popular at your new job and your confidence will spring again. i often get time when my confidence gets sucked away by an imaginary vacume cleaner and i wonder how i will face tomorrow - but you will - and you know why? becuase when the shish hits the fan your a very strong person - we all are we dont know our bounds until it all goes to shish

i know what will help.. you send me a mail and i will tell you to F off - then you will be too angry to be depressed - we dont want to break a tradition m2t do we lol
mail me anytime

M2T - just to express my sympathy. You've been v kind with your messages of support for me and I'm so sorry you're having a hard time - it al seemed to be going so well. Hope things improve asap.

LOL Custardo - I might just take you up on that.

Sykes - It all feels so petty for me to be feeling like this when I really have no reason to be so miserable. I s'pose I'm not miserable, but seem to hit rock bottom with a bang every now and again. I often think to myself that there are people out there with very real and awful situations that could drive them into a depression. There's me telling to keep your chin up in the face of all that's going on with you and your Ex and there's me wallowing! Hmm..... taste of my own medicine is needed I think.

Nothing wrong with a wallow and I've never suffered from pnd. I shall be wallowing frantically tomorrow evening at a girlfriend's party accompanied by buckets of wine, great mates, a push-up bra and, inevitably, a stinking hangover on Thursday.

M2T, I'm sure you aren't clinically depressed, just feeling vulnerable and insecure. It's a big deal to start a new job, I bet after a couple of weeks you'll feel right at home and hopefully you'll start to feel better. Also having a baby can really knock your self confidence - how old is he - 2?- and it can take years to get it back again.

Can't you look forward to your wedding?

I agree with custardo, blokes are pretty much useless when you feel like this.

Do you have any girlfriends you can confide in - 'real' ones rather than 'virtual mumsnet' ones?

Enid - most of my friends are childless and the ones that have children floated into motherhood gracefully without so much as the baby blues! Or so they would have me beleive.

Nobody except DP and Breeze know how bad I have been. I really scare myself with these hysterical episodes that really take everything out of me. I feel fatigued afterwards, numb and drained. They used to happen all the time whilst in the pits of PND, but recently (past 2 months) I haven't had any and haven't felt strange or weak. Now I do and I hope it goes away soon.

Yes ds was 2 last month. I know I'm under a bit of pressure just now, but this is usually where I shine! Not this time though.

I'm going to have a wee bottle of wine tonight. It's my last day at work tomorrow so who cares if I have a hang over.

Do you relax regularly - exercise or anything? Sounds like your 'hysterical' episodes could be a release of tension/stress? Is that likely?

Oh, I hadn't thought of that Enid. Maybe you're right!
It's just very tough for me to get time to do that. Especially as my new job is 40 miles away and don't drive.

I'm sure it'll pass. But I think I definintely need something else to channel my energy.

Honestly, it sounds boring, but could you try and take up some exercise, it really helps to get rid of those tension hormones. Also making an effort to relax WITHOUT alcohol - sorry - alcohol can be a depressant and if you are having trouble sleeping it can be a major factor.

I use a hypnotherapy tape that really helps when I am feeling very stressed. Also early nights and no BOOZE - I am boring arent I?

Missed this one. Hope you are feeling better soon, and remember I am hear for you, any time

Thanks Breeze.

Enid - NO BOOZE??? The girls gone maaaaad!

I know you mean though. I do use alcohol as escapism.

Sorry to hear you're feeling down in the dumps M2T. Never suffered from pnd myself, so can't really offer any meaningful help but I hope it will pass. Probably when you're all fired up in your new job, things will look brighter.