If you go to the gym are there always some people there who are obviously anorexic / very unwell?

[FrannyandZooey]

There were 2 in my gym today - there's nearly always at least one

it is very hard to see them there, kind of like watching a drug addict doing their thing

everyone pretends not to notice that there is a very ill person making themselves thinner and iller in this place that is meant to make your healthier

it is odd and depressing

There's one I see at the gym... she flogs herself to death on the running machine. She always wears loads of clothes... thick fleecey top etc. She never sweats.

it makes me very uncomfortable that we all sit and watch it - or look away - you wouldn't be able to self harm like this in public in many other ways really without someone intervening

does that make sense?

I think I've seen this, too. One of the 8 billion reasons I'm not a fan of gyms.

I don't think I've noticed anorexic women running around the park.

Hope your day is good, Frances? I'm annoyed I'm not recovering faster.

Oh yes I am fine thank you NQC. Thanks for all your support last night.

I am sorry you are feeling bad still - is it painful or do you just feel a bit sat on?

Somewhat painful, I'm nauseated. I think just beat up. They broke my nose. And there's a big suture type thing.

I'm sorry I wasn't more use last night.

I really want to go for a run, get some exercise, and do things. Only standing up makes me feel dizzy. Oh, and my face really hurts.

good GOD your whole nose?
it's brutal isn't it
what's the prognosis, will it definitely fix it?

No, I don't think they broke the whole thing. But they had to break through the nose to fix the problem.

It's horribly brutal. I feel like I've been assaulted. (Which I have, really.)

Why the fuck would anyone ever have cosmetic surgery?

The consultant seemed sure. It's like a piercing, they've put a stent in which they will remove in 2 or 3 weeks. The stent is a bit uncomfortable now, but whatever ...

I think it's draining a bit better now, but who knows.

oh I really hope it does the job
you poor thing
I expect you are a bit emotionally all over the place after something like that
it's a big shock for your body

In answer to the OP, (I'm not up to speed on the nose issue, sorry):

I would say it's really worth saying something to the manager, expressing your concerns. They will respond if they think it's upsetting other members. As long as no one says anything the sick people can kid themselves they're OK/normal. The gym has a duty of care and should not ignore this issue.

Janni I thought about could the gym staff do anything and I really don't know what the answer is
I mean anything they say or do is going to make the person feel worse, isn't it?

I don't want them barred because I don't like looking at them, I want them to stop because they are getting help
I don't see how anyone can sort that out, but it seems wrong to watch and do nothing

Yeah, I feel a bit emotionally delicate, to put it mildly. All normal, I'm sure.

Not sure what can be done about the anorexics. A good friend back home used to be anorexic, and still doesn't really accept she ever was (and still talks about being too fat, when she isn't), and the whole thing is just horrible.

I have a strong 'run away! run away!' instinct when faced with anorexics, basically ...

I used to do a step class behind someone like this and spent a whole year wondering what, if anything, I should do about it

it's like standing in the queue at the hospital shop watching someone on an O2 cylinder buy fags

[sympathies on the nose - hope it fixes it...]

I used to be one of those people (especially in huge fleece jumpers and not sweating). To be honest I think I'd have quite appreciated it if someone had tried to talk to me about it. I knew I was ill but didn't know how to stop. The shock of a stranger seeing how bloody terrible I looked might have done the trick a bit sooner.

Message withdrawn

squiggly would you say that would be true for most anorexics? maybe you don't know any more than I do...

they do look desperate
I wish someone could help, it's painful

sorry, I meant "possibly you don't know whether most anorexics feel that way"

I think most people with an ED would feel like that at least some of the time. Even if I hadn't been able to "hear" it at the time you said it, it would certainly have stuck and I'd have probably mulled it over.

Certainly most folk that I was in treatment with would have responded similarly. You never know - these girls may be relapsing, and a gentle nudge might be just what they need to get a grip again. Lord knows the odd comment from colleagues, friends etc. has helped me at times.

No issue for me any more - am now a very wibbly post-partum 14

I used to work with anorexics and I have suffered from an eating disorder myself. Self-delusion is a huge part of the problem.

There may well be someone at the gym - even a therapist or a coach if not the manager who would have the skills to talk sympathetically to them, see what help they are getting/have had/might need and point them in the right direction, which is not towards the treadmill.

I think you would do more good than harm by raising the issue with the manager.

oh lordy, I don't know
it is so very personal isn't it

My anorexic friend responded, shall we say, poorly to our attempts to confront her about it.

And my attempts, since she's been better, to talk to her about it, have gone no better.

The whole thing makes me very worried and unhappy, tbh.

I do hope my eye will now be fixed. I would like to feel well again, anyway.

I'm sorry, NQC, that all sounds miserable

I get on ok with her now, tbh. I just Don't Discuss the fact she lost a lot of weight, and stopped talking to me (or anyone), going from talking several times a day to not at all ever, etc etc.

She does seem ok now. I mean, she's goofy about food, but she's not alarmingly thin.

Although afaik she's made no progress towards the underlying causes of her anorexia ... gah ...

Franny - when I was a student nurse there was a girl on our course who became anorexic. She got thinner and thinner and many of us wondered why nothing was being done. Eventually a group of us went to the course director to express our concerns. Suddently the wheels were in motion and she was admitted to a psychiatric hospital for treatment.

Yes it's difficult, yes it's personal but this is a life threatening illness. I don't use gyms but if I saw what you are seeing I would DEFINITELY make an appointment to speak to the manager.

thanks Jannie

if the staff are prepared to do something about it, why don't they? it's ragingly obvious and there are always staff on the desk and supervising the equipment