If you go to the gym are there always some people there who are obviously anorexic / very unwell?

[FrannyandZooey]

There were 2 in my gym today - there's nearly always at least one

it is very hard to see them there, kind of like watching a drug addict doing their thing

everyone pretends not to notice that there is a very ill person making themselves thinner and iller in this place that is meant to make your healthier

it is odd and depressing

Hmm - well it IS a hard thing to do and I guess they're waiting till they're forced to confront it. There could also be that horrible fear of 'what if it's not anorexia, what if it's cancer or something', but I think if someone had a terminal illness they would be unlikely to be pounding the treadmill. Or am I wrong?

Sometimes people need a little nudge to do the right thing.

the problem with anorexia is that it is a very mistrustful illness. you become paranoid and addicted to the feeling of being hungry. you lie, you hide food, you find ever more inventive ways of hiding your illness/addiction from everyone else. you also feel superior. YOU can not eat. YOU have trained your body so well that you dont miss food, while everyone else stuffs their faces and get fat and dirty, but you have the control that everyone else lacks. there is very little that can be done to help an anorexic unless she/he looks for that help. any interference will just serve to push the habit underground, so they will find a new gym, new hiding places, a new way to dispose of food. its very dark and lonely.

sorry, not very helpful i know.

no it IS helpful lissie

everyone's suggestions have been helpful

Tbh I doubt the staff would do anything about it, generally they are concerned with bringing people through the door and not much else.

the majority of anorexics do make it out though. they never fully recover, its like being an alcoholic, but once they decide enoughs enough they do get better.

That's true, Ledodgy, but what MIGHT motivate them is the fear that other members are concerned and uncomfortable.

I REALLY REALLY wish someone had helped me when I was 17.

but janni, at the time would you have welcomed help?

When I had an eating disorder (thankfully not full blown anorexia) when I was in my teens and people told me I was too skinny I was flattered.

and when they said I looked ill I thought they were jealous.

exactly ledodgy. any interference or attempt to unearth my secret was met with either pride or fury.

Yep lissielou, it is very dark and lonely.

I work in a sports centre and yes we do see this in our gym ,sadly our gym instructors can only advise people as to limits of excercise, a few years ago we had someone pushing herself to the limit at 38/39 weeks pregnant, she was spoken too and after a huge row she signed a form saying she would not hold us responsable for any ill effects and continued to excercise,this was an extreme example and we did intervene for the unborn childs sake,but normally suggesting that people cut down a bit results in staff getting a lot of verbal abuse,it is a very tricky situation.

"When I had an eating disorder (thankfully not full blown anorexia) when I was in my teens and people told me I was too skinny I was flattered."

Me too Ledodgy - but didn't it ever float around your head later, in an absent moment, and make you think, even if just for a minute or two? It was a series of "what the fuck are you DOING woman?" moments, mostly triggered by random comments that finally helped me break down sobbing with my best friend and ask for help.

You're right, I would not have welcomed it, but I don't really think that's the issue here. It is clearly wrong that sick young women are paying gym fees to make themselves even more likely to die of anorexia. It's a moral issue.
They are mentally ill and they need kind people like Franny to say something to the manager of this gym about why this is unacceptable. On its own it will not help cure these people, but it will help break the bubble of self-delusion.

ah, but squigglywig, you had to ASK for help.

i have been anorexic since i was 9. started dieting at 6. and am now 30, i had my first mc at 27 and that was what prompted me to take action. before i was only doing the bare minimum to stop people figuring it out/acknowledging it. at my lowest weight (4st at 14) i was hospitalised for 6m. i came out, ate 3 meals a day until people relaxed then gradually reduced my intake. even now i dont notice hunger and will often go for days without eating.

Tbh Squiggly no I didn't it wns't until later I realised it happened not long after my dad died at 15 then again at 17 when I lost too much weight due to glandular fever and liked it, then at 22 when my mum died. It is only now after I had CBT last year for anxiety issues I saw that for me it was about control, controlling my food was a way of being in control of one part of my life.

Yeah - fair enough lissielou, I did have to ask. I still remember all the folk who made the odd comment though - they did, on some level, sink in with me.

It was control for me too Ledodgy, and, being totally honest - a bit about being "special": I could be thinner, I could control myself, I could work harder at the gym. If I did all that I'd be special enough and then I'd be loveable.

Janni is right - the girls at the gym is a moral issue. Franny said it earlier too - you wouldn't sit and watch whilst someone took a stanley knife to their arms. I really hope someone on the staff does say something. Or leaves some EDA leaflets in the locker room.

I still don't know I must admit
It feels like it could go badly wrong
plus am scared of speaking up tbh

Franny - make an appointment to speak to the manager. Say that you feel very uncomfortable about this but you are very worried about a couple of severly underweight gym members who you fear are anorexic and is s/he aware of them? It's very likely that this will not be news to the manager. That's really all you can do and if others do the same, those who truly want the gym to be a force for good health will have a MORAL DUTY to sit down with the anorexics and say 'you need to get help'.

Sorry Franny, I'm not always this bossy! I just feel really strongly about this issue.
I used to belong to a gym and when I started working on an eating disorders unit I simply could not bring myself to go any more.

one thing is Janni - I think they will say "who? show us"

I don't want to get in a position where I am pointing at some woman on the treadmill

no I understand you feel very strongly about it
it is fine
I am just weighing up the best thing to do

I really don't think you'd end up in a situation where you had to identify them like that. Chances are it won't be news to the gym staff.

Totally agree with Janni. Really think something needs to be said to the gym staff.

I agree. If they put you on the spot like that (and I doubt they would) just give a description. Emphasise how painfully thin they are. Really, if it's as obvious as you say it WON'T be news and they probably just need a kick up the backside to address what's happening under their (immaculately made-up) noses.