Unbareable tinnitus

[LostMyReligion1980]

TW - mention of suicide

So I developed tinnitus in June 2022 after having microsuction on my left ear to remove earwax, in the previous month which caused hearing loss in the left ear. It started as hissing then a few weeks later a sound like a running engine started. I've had it constantly ever since and totally lost my appetite with the stress of it all. I can hear it over everything including hairdryer which is loud. Ive felt so ill with it that Ive been housebound since it started and got worse last year and basically been bedridden since about last June and havent been able to shower or wash my hair since Nov/Dec. I know I'm an extreme case but has anyone else suffered like this and if so how have you coped? It's just me and my partner, no support from family. I am more than ready to throw in the towel and already went down to the local river in December ready to throw myself in. GP etc no help. Desperate, in tears every day, its horrendously loud.

And for what it's worth, I have about two different noises in each ear (so four/five all together) and around two separate noises in my head - I don't know for sure as it's not important to me to count or acknowledge anymore, it's all just tinnitus. It's your reaction and hypersensitivity to it that's making it seem so loud. It's important to your brain because that's what you've made it, the most important thing in your life.

I agree with @Allsortsmakesnormal, what you're doing at the moment is not helping at all and actually feeding your obsession.
The tinnitus is not going away, you have to learn to deal with it differently.
Sitting at home in silence and doing nothing to distract yourself will 100% make the sound more noticeable to you.
Trying a hearing aid or listening to music/tv for a short period will do no good at all - you have to wear/do it for the majority of the day to retrain your brain to notice that noise and then the tinnitus subsides.
I can hear you're desperate, but now you've reached out on here, will you try and do things that have been suggested...

1. Go out for a long walk. Plan to stay out hours. Somewhere there's some nice background noise. Not a shopping centre as those type of noises can get overwhelming. Maybe a National Trust property where there's information to read so you have to try and think about something else.
2. Only have music on low in the car, or possibly not at all. The noise of the car is probably enough background noise.
3. When home have the tv or music on 100% of the time, even through night at first. It can be on very low, but you need to be able to hear it. Make yourself put up with it and give it a chance to see if it makes a difference.
4. Once a day write down how you feel and how bad the tinnitus is on a scale of 1-10.
5. Please, please try to do this for a week.

Could you start this today?

He got so frustrated he's hit me etc a number of times

Wait. He's HITTING YOU?

No, no, no. That's entirely unacceptable and you need to be safe from abuse and violence.

Have you told anybody that he's doing this to you?

Hello Op, we are really sorry to hear what you've been going through and how its made you feel.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our www.mumsnet.com/webguide/mental-health Mental Health resources]]. You can also go to the www.samaritans.org/ Samaritans website]] or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to continue to seek RL help and support where possible.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Wishing you the very best with everything.
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