Cancelling surgery due to fear of general anaesthesia

[Witchinabottle]

hi there everyone,

I have had surgery before which includes two C Sections ( 1 emergency, 1 planned) plus an assisted delivery.

Although I’ve had regional anaesthesia before, I’ve not had a GA. I’m 52.

I have elective surgery for a hernia and some reconstructive surgery book for later this week coming. So it’s major abdominal surgery- around 3 hours and 4 procedures in total.

I am so terrified of GA that I’ve put off this surgery for many years. I also didn’t fully realise that 30 seconds after the drugs, you stop breathing . Not only are you unconscious but you cannot breathe without a machine and a tube inserted into your trachea.

I like to understand what is happening to my body so I watched a video of the process and I am beyond horrified; it looked exactly like a scene from Alien . I felt so sick watching it. I’ve been shaking and not eating all last week.

I do want the surgery and I don’t care about the recovery pain as much, just the GA.

To me, it seems so unnatural and weird. It fills me with absolute horror and I can’t can’t find any way to bring myself to do it. Just absolutely not. For me, it’s akin to death and I can’t cope with the anxiety of it. ( Obviously if it was an emergency or life - threatening it would be different)

I have a last blood test tomorrow and my blood pressure is a little elevated at around 143/80 ( approx) . Not too high but I’m concerned.

I am not asking for anyone to really advise me, just perhaps people’s experiences if they would be kind and willing to share.

Thank you so much, really appreciate it if you explain to me how to ever overcome such terror. And I am too terrified- I expect I will cancel. Which is a shame as I know my quality of life will be fantastic with the surgery. But I can’t find the strength to do it.

My husband of 20 years walked out on me and my 3 teenage children last year after an affair and is divorcing me. I have little support and live in a small town so it’s not ideal.

I suffer from an anxiety disorder and as I’ve put this for what, 16 years, I can’t get passed the whole notion of no consciousness and not being able to breathe on your own. It’s not the risks as such but the whole idea of losing control and your body in well- a state of semi death.

It’s too frightening for words for me and I can’t face it. Not just the fear of not waking up, but the whole concept of being absent from your body in that way.

Thank you so much for anyone who is happy to reply. I am not looking for advice or to be persuaded, just what others have experienced. x

Had 3 GAs and oy in my 30s. Never gave each one much thought. I think the whole situation of being out of control made you want to be aware of the procedure so watched the video but unfortunately backfired but as previous op have said do mention your concerns during pre op but you know you need the op and putting it off will only make things worse for yourself and your children. The anxiety they will go through worrying about you and your health isant fair on them either. I expect you know this. The anesthetist will talk you through every step and look into breathing exercises and see if can be seen ealier in morning so not left waiting and working yourself up. Please update us when all done!

This was me!
I needed my gallbladder removed
I was terrified.
I wouldn't be again it was fine...the best sleep I've ever had .
Loved the sleep.
Discharged myself after a few hours !

Tbh I never even thought about it.
I had it when I dislocated my knee many years ago. I remember being in theatre and the surgeon telling me to count down from 10, then put a mask over my face, I got to 8 then I went to sleep. I have no recollection of anything until I woke up hours later in my hospital room all tucked up in my bed.
It doesn't feel like anything to be honest, it's a nothing, a zero existence which is maybe why you're scared of it. Altho millions of people have had GA and we've all lived to tell the tale, it's not a big deal. Altho I do sympathise with you as I also suffer with anxiety & I completely get where you are coming from.

I've been having surgeries since I was 3 - in the 1960s. I've had over 30 and am still here!!
Seriously, I know it can be scary - I'm more panicked as an adult weirdly, but just remember you'll know nothing, and you obviously need this. It will be fine

You poor thing. Your fear is palpable in your writing. I can only say for myself that I have had GA 5 times. The result of each of those surgeries has improved my life and, equally importantly, the life of my family. Try to find a way to just grit your teeth and get it done. Waiting won't make you feel better; it will just delay the inevitable.

You will just be asleep.. and a restful sleep! It's the only think I was looking forward to when I had my hysterectomy. I count back from 12 but have never made it lower than 6.

Oh yes, I see that it’s important I have the surgery. I am so frightened yes. But I know that I don’t have cancer or suffering in any war so I do have perspective.

I think it’s just my own fears I can’t get a hold of. Thank you Tortie and Spuy, your words bring me much comfort.

I will come back and tell everyone what I decided tomorrow and if I can face going ahead.

I really hope you don’t cancel your appointment. I know nothing anybody can say will put your mind at rest because you obviously have an irrational/out of context fear about it but I have had GA for major abdominal surgery (laparotomy for endo 4.5 hours under) and would hand on heart choose that GA again over a scrape and polish at the dentist or a transvaginal scan, neither of which are bad but they are my irrational fears! Please try to focus on your improved quality of life afterwards 💜

I felt exactly the same as you when I had my first GA…I had a six hour wait from arriving to being taken to theatre and ended up sobbing on the hospital chaplain while I was waiting.

The team were amazing. They offered me a pre med which felt like tanking the strongest G & T ever…it was fantastic, and I woke up pain free, feeling floaty and super relaxed.

I had my second GA 6.5 later. It wasn’t so great but it was emergency surgery so they give you the drugs that paralyse your diaphragm and the drugs that knock you out in a different order apparently. I had a debriefing with an anaesthetist after as I needed further surgery six months later.

The subsequent planned surgery and anaesthesia went perfectly and I’d have no qualms about having GA in the future, though obviously would rather not have to!

Definitely talk to your surgical team about your fears as they can be extra extra careful about the timings of the drugs etc.

I have had GA as well and it did frighten me the first time I had it. It was for an urgent but scheduled surgery. The anesthetist talked with me about allergies, conformed my body weight, and eased my fears. He then said he was going to add the medicine to my IV and to count down from 10. I remember saying 7 and then next thing I knew I was waking up in recovery.

I tried to walk out as I was so scared and they said "can we just give you something to calm you down and see how we go?"
I said yes (sobbing mess) and next thing I felt happily drunk, laughing away
The next thing I remember was waking up as if I had just been asleep
That was honestly it, and it was 5hrs of surgery. I get really hungry after and quite wired and find it hard to sleep for a few days

I just wanted to say that I totally understand why the concept would be worse than the reality - that is the nature of panic/anxiety. It is the concept, in our heads, that is terrifying. Not the reality.

But the helpful thing is, the concept is not real. And the reality will be something you can do. The actual procedure won’t be the same as the thing you have in your head - in fact, the reality of the procedure will be the thing that can heal that fear.

So when the fear presents itself know that it is just that - fear, and the actual event will be ok. Differentiate the two in your mind. The fear lives in your head. The operation and GA are things professionals will do for you and it will just be done and it will be ok.

💐

OP your fear doesn't need to be rational. I have my own irrational fears (terrors) which as a medic myself both embarrass me and baffle me. But they are real.

can I suggest you discuss your anxieties with your anaesthetist and ask him to explain in more detail what he will be doing.

I can tell you he's a consultant expert in his field and completely there for you until the cows come home ( he is) but you need his reassurance.

I've had two GAs before and the only negative that I remember is that both times I felt a bit cross and offended when I woke up. Like "Surely that can't be it?" I really just wanted to go back to sleep.

Could you try and turn your attention to thinking of coping strategies to distract you and help calm the fight/flight response? Have a look at videos about mindfulness, tapping or listen to podcasts/music, knit, whatever works for you! The more you watch and read about the GA, the more anxious you're probably going to get. Your rational mind knows it is a safe procedure, but your nervous system currently has other ideas.

I put of surgery for years because I was so afraid of GA. I had years of pain and discomfort but in the end I had no choice and had to have surgery. The first was a 7 hour operation and the second 2. I have 1 more surgery to go and I can honestly say I'm not worried. I felt so looked after and trusted the fantastic NHS staff who looked after me. I wish I had the surgery years ago.

Last Monday I had a long awaited hysterectomy, almost two years. The whole time I was thinking when will the op happen? and the second I got the appointment date through, I was scared. I had a week away (medical) for my yd which took my mind off things a bit.

The thoughts running through my head were about if I didn't make it through the operation. Was this the last time I'd be doing xyz? Should I write letters to my adult kids? How would my dh cope with everything? Would I fight the intubation? Would I wake during the op? Lots of things.

The night before I actually slept, but woke about 4 or 5am with lots of stuff going through my head, but now I have no idea what they were.

I was quite calm when my dh dropped me off at the hospital and went up to the department.
I was very calm getting changed into their flattering (!) gowns and really calm walking with one of the theatre staff to the room. But when I laid down I could feel I was shaking. They tried their best to take my mind off things, but when you are having monitors put onto you, and they are holding your hand to put in the cannula, you are really aware of what is happening and I started to cry. The anaesthetist was going to put the GA into the cannula and just said I'll see you a bit later. The back of my head went quite tingly and that was it. I woke up 2 or so hours later in recovery with a sore throat and the relief it was all over.

I have had years of heavy periods causing anaemia and to think that will never happen because of that again was wonderful. Could you maybe focus on what this operation will bring to your life? The positives. Because it does sound this will improve your life. It could even help you with moving on with your life.
Anxiety is awful and so debilitating. I would let the staff know, all of them, that you are frightened. They won't dismiss it and they will be supportive.

I would hate for you to cancel something that will really help with your quality of life. Thinking of you @Witchinabottle 💐

I've had 4 GAs and get nervous every time. But someone has always held my hand...
They told me the first time "think of lovely things and youll have lovely dreams".
But tell the anaesthetist you're nervous and they'll all be really kind...
Honestly... I quite like GA! It is like nodding off to sleep.

Yes I have tried mindfulness before so will again.

I will talk to the anaesthetist tomorrow and discuss my fears, absolutely. I know thousands of people have surgery every day- even The Princess of Wales!

I have the procedure in my head yes as well, pretty grim. I have a vision of the whole thing as just a total nightmare. At least with the C Section I got the baby at the end!

I don’t want to not have the surgery but getting past the GA is my issue, not the long recovery as that I think I’ll manage.

But I’m so glad everyone here has shared with me. It is really helping and I’m just trying hard to get my courage up.

I know everyone has said you just sleep and wake up which is nice. I will re - read the posts when I’m on the train tomorrow and try to be calm. I’ll come back and let everyone know about what I’ve decided. I’m off to bed so if I don’t reply, I’m not being rude. Thank you all again for the amazing, caring support. x

Hello,

I completely understand where you are coming from OP, it is so scary and the apprehension and the buildup to it is horrid. I also suffer anxiety but to be honest what you’re scheduled to have IS a big deal. Please don’t try and tell yourself that you are being silly, we are hard wired to want to protect ourselves. I’ve done what you’ve done and have watched videos of operations that I knew I’d have. In the past I’ve had two laparoscopies for ovarian cysts but I wanted to tell you about my most recent operation and hopefully it will give you some hope and positivity.

My last major surgery was last may, I had an abdominal vertical laparotomy (so I imagine a similar incision) that went from belly button to pubic bone) for a hysterectomy and omentum removal after an ovarian cancer diagnosis, which was done 8 weeks after I’d had an elective c-section for my second baby.

The day of my op I arrived at the ward, the staff were really wonderful. The head nurse looked after me & much of what GrannyAchings mentioned in terms of the process was similiar for me.

I had told the team when I arrived how scared I was and I had lots of reassurance right until I went for my operation. The anaesthetists came and chatted to me beforehand and I was able to ask questions as well as answer theirs. They were very thorough.

When it was time to go to theatre, a very kind lady held my hand all the way down to the corridor. She was really motherly and once in the operating theatre (i was put to sleep there rather than a pre-op room) she stroked my hair and continued to hold my hand the whole
time. She didn’t try to distract me while they were getting things prepared, I think she just accepted that I was scared and my main need was to be comforted and to feel taken care of (despite being 36!) i asked lots of questions about what what was going on and she, along with the rest of the team, answered and were really informative. I am better with situations sometimes if I feel aware of what is happening to me and most importantly why.

There were several people in the room and one person put electrode tabs (similar to what you have on if you have an ecg I guess) onto my forehead and temples. I asked what they were for and they told me it was because I was going into a deeper sleep and they wanted to make sure they monitored absolutely everything. They said they don’t usually do it for lighter surgery but as it was abdominal it was required. This I found really reassuring as it made me feel that they were taking all precautions possible.

They put the cannula in, which took a while as they couldn’t find the veins they wanted, and during that time they began to distract me a little bit and I don’t know how, but somehow, we ended up talking about cake - everyone in the room began talking about what their favourite cake was and I started to say that mine was red velvet and then… well I woke up, several hours later in pain, but still alive and kicking.

I was so scared I wasn’t going to wake up from that operation, scared something would go wrong, or that more things would be found. But I did wake up and I can look back and smile now that I went to sleep thinking about cake :). I have had 4 general anaesthetics in total and one regional and it was definitely the one I felt most cared for.

I wonder if you could ask to talk to the anaesthetist on the operating team before the day of your op so they can go through and answer some questions for you?

All the best!

Phobias are irrational so it’s not going to overly help to tell you how safe GAs are (incredibly safe), or that we were pleasantly surprised how un scary it was when we actually went ahead etc. I think the best way forward is to tell them tomorrow you are absolutely petrified to the point you’ve put off surgery for years and very much doubt you will be able to go ahead this time. You won’t be the only utterly terrified person they’ve needed to help and hopefully will be able to offer you some sedatives/beta blockers etc to calm you beforehand. The staff are generally totally wonderful at helping those with acute anxiety at such times. Take any support, medication you are offered and don’t play down just how utterly terrified you are. Tell them about your specific fears and are wanting this surgery but don’t know how you will be able to have it as things are. I am sending lots of wishes for strength and really hope you’ll be able to get your op 🤞🏼🤞🏼

OP write down the things you are afraid of or want to ask the anaesthetist. It may go out of your head at the time, or you feel you shouldn’t ask to speak to them at your appointment. If you need to give them the piece of paper.

@Witchinabottle I'm a doctor and have seen anaesthesia and was irrationally terrified having watched it. How I coped was basically realising that I am handing myself over to them, I am TRUSTING them to look after me, they are the experts. It really helped. It was absolutely great! Anaesthetist was lovely. A really good experience. I woke up and felt like I'd never gone to sleep, I kept asking if they'd done the surgery. I've also worked with lots of anaethetists and they are known for having the toughest exams and a very competitive entry process so you really are in very safe hands.

I had 3 as a child and wouldn't hesitate to have one again if it was needed. I was basically given the injection which mad me feel really dizzy for about a second, then next thing I knew I was waking up!
I didn't have a care in the world, but guessing as an adult I'd now have more time to overthink things a bit 😅

And I had absolutely no idea about breathing tubes until now 😅