Cancelling surgery due to fear of general anaesthesia

[Witchinabottle]

hi there everyone,

I have had surgery before which includes two C Sections ( 1 emergency, 1 planned) plus an assisted delivery.

Although I’ve had regional anaesthesia before, I’ve not had a GA. I’m 52.

I have elective surgery for a hernia and some reconstructive surgery book for later this week coming. So it’s major abdominal surgery- around 3 hours and 4 procedures in total.

I am so terrified of GA that I’ve put off this surgery for many years. I also didn’t fully realise that 30 seconds after the drugs, you stop breathing . Not only are you unconscious but you cannot breathe without a machine and a tube inserted into your trachea.

I like to understand what is happening to my body so I watched a video of the process and I am beyond horrified; it looked exactly like a scene from Alien . I felt so sick watching it. I’ve been shaking and not eating all last week.

I do want the surgery and I don’t care about the recovery pain as much, just the GA.

To me, it seems so unnatural and weird. It fills me with absolute horror and I can’t can’t find any way to bring myself to do it. Just absolutely not. For me, it’s akin to death and I can’t cope with the anxiety of it. ( Obviously if it was an emergency or life - threatening it would be different)

I have a last blood test tomorrow and my blood pressure is a little elevated at around 143/80 ( approx) . Not too high but I’m concerned.

I am not asking for anyone to really advise me, just perhaps people’s experiences if they would be kind and willing to share.

Thank you so much, really appreciate it if you explain to me how to ever overcome such terror. And I am too terrified- I expect I will cancel. Which is a shame as I know my quality of life will be fantastic with the surgery. But I can’t find the strength to do it.

My husband of 20 years walked out on me and my 3 teenage children last year after an affair and is divorcing me. I have little support and live in a small town so it’s not ideal.

I suffer from an anxiety disorder and as I’ve put this for what, 16 years, I can’t get passed the whole notion of no consciousness and not being able to breathe on your own. It’s not the risks as such but the whole idea of losing control and your body in well- a state of semi death.

It’s too frightening for words for me and I can’t face it. Not just the fear of not waking up, but the whole concept of being absent from your body in that way.

Thank you so much for anyone who is happy to reply. I am not looking for advice or to be persuaded, just what others have experienced. x

You don't feel anything and may not be aware you've fallen asleep until you're waking up in recovery. It's very relaxing. For me, everything feels fuzzy and then I'm asleep and the next thing I hear someone calling my name and letting me know I'm in recovery as I come round.

Forgot to add, that you're not aware of your breathing/the tubes at all. You're just asleep.

I’ve had a couple of GA’s but my last one was around 6 years ago. It’s honestly not that bad though I did wake up a bit shocked and emotional but im not sure why.

I was ok to go home that day too

I have had my pre- op where my elevated blood pressure has been noted. N

I am reading everyone’s posts, thank you all so much, so kind 💜

I did say I was anxious at the assessment.

I have another blood test tomorrow so I’m going to see if I can speak to an anaesthetist. I can’t get through on the phone even though I’ve tried!

Maybe talking to them will help me to overcome. It’s very reassuring that even a theatre nurse has replied to me. This does help me a lot.

I also watched my dd be put under when she was 5

She started to cry when the needle went it and was then out like a light. Literally seconds.

I think worrying about something new is natural. However GA is very safe. Also no doctor will do planned surgery unless necessary so balance the fear against any pain or other risks of the hernia.

Ask to talk to the anaesthetist about your worries and what will happen on the day. They will have heard it before. Most importantly tell them before so you can ask questions now.

I have had many GA. My overriding memories have been the kindness of everyone not just the anaesthetist but the nurses, assistants and porters. I’m still sometimes surprised thinking that they can do this.

In relation to the actual being put under the mask can feel cold and the gases smell a bit strange due to that. Ones that have been injected again a bit cold up the arm but then nothing. Different anaesthetists have me do it differently- counting, they reassure or explain what is happening or one said think of a happy place. Then waking up.

OP I had an impacted wisdom tooth and cyst out last year, first time ever having GA. I was absolutely terrified. I like to be in control and the thought of GA filled me with horror. I had nightmares about waking up during surgery or dying. But I really needed the surgery. So when I went in on the morning I told everyone who would listen how scared I was. I was very vocal and basically had no composure whatsoever 🤣 The anaesthetist offered me a pre-med but I actually didn't end up needing it as I had such lovely surgeon who came to talk to me beforehand, walked me down to surgery and held my hand throughout the GA being administered.

OP. Honestly. It was fine. I’ve had a c-section too and this was a bloody breeze compared to that. I even had a dream. I woke up in recovery and felt SUCH a sense of relief. Later on when the anaesthetist came to see me he said he’d been worried I was going to run out of the hospital before the surgeon came to see me so you can see by that what a state I must have been in!

Tell them that you are scared. Accept the pre-med and know that every single day hundreds, maybe even thousands of people have GA with absolutely no ill effects.

Also my lovely surgeon said that he’s not long ago had surgery and even he was scared beforehand! He said his medical team all found it really funny how scared he was because he literally does this every day to other people. So just know that this fear is so normal, even medical professionals themselves get frightened! It’s totally natural and human nature.

To answer what made it look like the film Alien?

I watched a video of a GA where the patient was sent to sleep and then the tube inserted. Then removed at the end and I just was so shocked at how invasive and frightening that looked.

I know the person was not aware, but it’s just the concept for me. I suppose it’s because I suffer from anxiety.

But the thought of not being able to breathe on my own. I think that’s part of the real fear. It’s quite overwhelming. No control in any way and no awareness.

I was fine with my spinal block. Weird to be paralysed but still knowing what was happening for me was just fine. I didn’t really have any control I know, but at least I was awake and breathing myself! I hope that makes sense.

I wish I didn’t have the fear. And it’s real terror and stopped me for 16 years having the surgery. I haven’t told my work I can’t face it either. So I’m not trying to be dramatic and I want the op.

My experience (4 GA) and general nurse is all positive. One minute you're in the anaesthetic room the next minute you're back on the ward talking rubbish !
You sound low risk.
As a nurse I know the skill of the operating department team. Tell them you're worried.

By the time a tracheal tube (or supraglottic airway) is removed the patient is always breathing for themselves. For a lot of operations under GA the customer continues to breathe for themselves the whole time, and for many operations (including some hernias) tracheal intubation isn’t needed. It sounds like you need to talk to someone who actually understands what is required/possible for the exact operation you’re having and your normal physiology before you make any panicked decisions.

Mummy j- yes that sounds like me!

I think I would rather cancel than run out of the room like a screaming loon! I don’t trust myself to get through it. My anxiety is so so bad- I can’t sleep , nothing. My actual surgery is beyond hideous too. 😫

I love having a GA! One moment, you’re chatting with the anaesthetist while s/he draws up the medication, then you have a deliciously woozy moment or two as you drop off, then you wake up in your hospital bed and everyone’s being nice to you. In between, all the important complicated stuff has been accomplished without any input from me. It’s pointless dwelling on exactly what happens while you’re out - you don’t experience any of it, and you have no memory of anything.

Greybeard; Thank you for the input on the tube. I’m not just having a hernia repair, it’s reconstructive surgery too. I will ask though and find out tomorrow exactly what they will do.

I honestly have never been so frightened. I am trying to find ways to control it. Funny how having loads of babies was fine and I wasn’t frightened too much of a second section despite my awful first traumatic one!

I think I ended up later getting more scared as time went on and my fears of surgery just went awol.

It’s very windy! Just been plunged into complete darkness with a power cut. How apt! 😂

I have had 3 in my life, and the thought is far more scary than the reality. You have an injection which makes you feel a bit drunk, and the next thing you know you are waking up in recovery

I saw something on TikTok (when I was scaring myself to death before my most recent surgery) by an anaesthetist which really calmed me. They pointed out that the people in that room are all focussed on getting you through that surgery, and at no other point in your life do you have people around you measuring all your vitals and getting ready to take action if anything starts to go wrong

Tell them how terrified you are, they may be able to give you something to calm you down a little on the day

Hi! Same as you - I was terrified until I had to be put under for a fetal anomaly abortion.

I was so scared, I had a panick attack on the table, it was hard for them to get me relaxed. But eventually, I just succumbed....

Since then, I've had plastic surgery.... twice!! I am no longer scared, in fact, before my boob job the nurse told me it's good I've been under before because it shows I react well.

It was very sad how I came over the fear but I will always be thankful for my little lost baby that got me through it x

You need this surgery end off. For me I needed surgery in 2018 and I was beyond terrified. I had a horrible feeling I wouldn’t wake up and it got bad that I was writing letters to my family and friends in the event of it going wrong . I went crying my eyes out in to theatre , told the anesthesiologist he was good at jabbing people and off I went. After that I don’t remember until I was up on the ward. Please don’t worry. You’re in safe hands with everyone.

Oh I really feel for you. I have had two c sections but was far more frightened about my first GA for impacted wisdom teeth. I hated the idea of being out of control and a degree of violence happening to my body without my awareness. But it was actually totally uneventful and fine. I feel so relieved this has been done (I delayed through rest for years and lost part of a tooth as a result) and also feel like I don't need to fear GA anymore either. It has been incredibly positive. The doctors are amazing and kind.

You don't need to think about tubes etc too much - just try to focus on how pleased how will be to conquer your fear and get this hernia dealt with. You have three children so you are a brave and strong woman. You can do this. Just one step at a time.

Thank you snack for your lovely kind words 💚.

Yes I have managed on my own since my DH left. I have not found it all easy to cope after so many years married. But I have worked full- time, counted my blessings. I did drink a lot though last year but I’m now free of that and off alcohol.

I take much comfort from this thread. It’s very supportive and helpful.

OP, flip the thinking.

Actually, during a GA you are probably more guaranteed a supply of high quality gases you need to sustain you than at any other time in your life! You have a team of highly skilled anaesthetist and doctors monitoring your every second. At any other time you could choke, suffer a seizure, asthma, allergy etc etc and not have everything you need to support your body’s vital needs!

You are really not in a state of semi death. That is nothing short of hysterical.

In the end, choosing to have this surgery gives you a chance to take control of your body and your quality of life. You are making an active decision to get your hernia repaired and make your body better. That is a powerful choice.

Oh, and one of my Dc has had more than 10 GAs, and is fine. Shrugs about the GA.

My kids are 19,18 and 17. So I’m wanting the surgery now as I have no childcare.

I had a large back wisdom tooth out 2 months ago as I had a low level infection that would have eaten into the bone. I had a local for that. I was fine and no issue for me as I was awake.

I hate my anxiety, I find it very hard to control my fear.

Why are you so scared of something that people go through day in, day out, all over the world?

Do you seriously think you are the 1 in 100,000 people who won't make it out of surgery?

Bit of a daft response!
Just because its a thing that is a very common occurrence, does not necessarily make it any less scary. The same can be said of flying- millions of people fly every year, but if you are scared of flying, that won't make a jot of difference to your fears.

I think giving real consideration to how much better the OP will feel after she has her operation is more likely to encourage her. I too know an anaesthetist with 30

• years of experience and he always tells me that it is a very safe process and he should know.

I had a GA last year for surgery on my foot, I was also terrified by the thought of something going wrong. The Anaesthetist come and spoke with me before hand and talked me through it. You count back from 10 and by the time you get to 5 you will be asleep, another doctor monitors you for the entire time you are under.

I had to have a GA last year and like you was terrified in the lead up to it. I wasn't worried about the breathing tubes, for me it was all about the lack of control over, and awareness of, what was being done to me while I was unconscious. I also hate any kind of hospital settings after bad experiences as a child and having an emergency c-section via epidural.

My experience this time was so much more positive. The anaesthetics team were fabulous and very kind. The days leading up to the op were the worst part and the relief afterwards that it was all over and I'd managed to do it without running out of the hospital was huge! When I woke up in the recovery room all snug with a heated blanket on me, i would have happily stayed there for hours!
I had a few flashbacks for a couple of weeks while my brain was processing what I'd been through i guess, but I am left feeling like I could do it all again if I needed to, which is very different to how I felt beforehand.

I'd really encourage you to push yourself to get it over and done with this week. The alternative, if you delay, is that you've got to put yourself through this build up all over again. Try and focus on how much better you will feel once you recover and how proud of yourself you will be for having done it.