Elderly dad just won't sit down!

[reddaisys]

My dad is 78, and he is starting to show some signs of aging, he's a little bit deaf and has this year struggled with policeman's heel but overall he is in very good shape for his age. He won't however sit down! He is constantly doing jobs for people, cleaning inside and outside the house, driving around and keeping very busy.

What I'm unsure of is whether he should be slowing down a bit? Or is it generally quite a good thing that he is so active?
I have a niggling feeling that he's going to injure himself soon by having a fall or accidental sawing his finger off (yes he still uses power tools in the garage, regularly).
I really think he needs to chill out a bit more, literally.

Anyone else have this situation with their DF?

Yes, and mine is 85! As long as he’s happy.

Do you remember when your parents would tell you what to think and do and how annoying that was?
He will slow down when he's ready.
Anyone can trip or hurt themselves he's 78 not 128, and a grown up

What I haven't said in my post is that his policeman's heel took forever to get better this year because he refused to rest.
He's completely hell bent on keeping busy.
He seems to think sitting down will make him old but I'm worried not sitting down will make him older more quickly because he's not relaxing enough..

My grandad is 89, he's only just stopped doing 5 mile walks! He still drives and goes fishing 3 times a week.

It's better to stay active, once they start sitting down and resting etc they age really quickly.

I've no idea what policeman's heal is, sorry, but I think you should leave him be and go and watch Bluezones on Netflix. They show the lifestyles, food and habits of the people from the societies in the world who live the longest and suffer the least chronic illnesses. Other than a very healthy diet, the things that they all have in common are having a sense of purpose (sometimes never retiring), having strong social connections and moving and working lots into their old age. Good on your Dad, let him keep going for as long as he can. Plenty of time to rest when you're dead.

My DM is 83 and she really likes to keep busy. I think it is good for the mind and body to keep active in older age.

My dad is mid 80s and also likes doing a lot for others. I think it keeps him going tbh.

I think he has the right idea, he will stop if he needs to but pottering around doing jobs, keeping active, will keep his mind and his muscle groups active.

Much better for mind and body!

My dad and FIL are both the same. My dad (73) has a lot of health issues but will not listen and sit on his arse.

All the evidence on longevity says the most important thing for older (and younger) people to do is to keep active.

my stepdad is younger than your dad and lives in a jogging suit and dressing gown like he's just given up! let your dad do what he wants I know you are worried about him ageing and his health but I'd. just let him crack on.

My ILs have been sitting down since they were 60. I rather admire your Dad's energy!

My late MIL was like this, playing golf, walking everywhere until a her mid eighties.and now my husband who I call a Duracell bunny. He wears a Fitbit, tries to get his steps in, cycles most days, chops logs daily. Walks 14 miles once a week in the hills. Has chainsaw, table saw, etc. is often found making something for someone.

Your dad is fine, honestly.

I'd let him keep going.

My dad's nearly 95 and is still doing DIY, shopping, bus trips etc
I think it's what keeps him going.
He says he doesn't want to be useless!
Although I've banned him from ladders.
Oh and they won't take any notice of what you say!

Use it or lose it. Keep busy and stay mentally physically agile to stay younger longer OR do less and age quicker.

policeman’s heel … spiky ball massage under foot and on calf, specialist arch support, avoid walking barefoot, avoid heel striking when walking, utilise good footwear, sports massage.

Good for him! My DF is 78 and the opposite which drives me mad in a different way. Use it or lose it!

Yes watch blue zones on Netflix

My MIL is like this. DH went to the supermarket with her and came back knackered as she kept wizzing about everywhere.

At least it keeps her fit despite her all cake diet.

My dad is 88 and has just taken up table tennis. Also still plays golf and does his own DIY for the most part. Far better than deciding to play it safe and sit around.

You lose muscle mass pretty quick as you age so keeping active is definitely the way to go!
If you're concerned about his balance, introducing him to Tai Chi/ Pilates would help prevent silly falls. People can obviously have injuries at any age, but chances are older people I know are stuck in their ways & wouldn't listen if you told him to slow down anyway!!
Some of the fittest & sharpest elderly people have been the most active & busy people, even working into their late 80's/90's!

The fact he is always doing things means he is keeping his mobility.
Thats the most important thing he can do for himself as he is getting older.
It also probably has a very positive impa tin his mental health.

Id leave him alone. He’ll slow down when he can’t do as much as he does now.

re healing. I suspect the issue would have been the same 20 years ago! Some people just don’t stop to heal. You’re going to struggle to convince him otherwise.

Some of the fittest & sharpest elderly people have been the most active & busy people, even working into their late 80's/90's!

@turtleyawesome1 I agree with you there.
Even though I’ve always wondered if those people kept sharp because they were very active OR if they were very active/working because they were sharp and fit iyswim

As they say “use it, or lose it”
Better for him to stay active, also if he does start getting wobbly on his legs, don’t restrict him as it leads to more falls .

Well into his 90s my DF was the go-to person for neighbours who needed Ikea stuff put together. He lived on his own, my DM left him over 30 years ago/

My DM is now in her 90s, still living alone, and up to just after the pandemic was still doing 4 mile walks with her walking group.

I am 71, I hope no-one tells me how to run my life when I'm 78. Everyone is really aged 21 - in our heads!

I was behind a bloke at Parkrun last week wearing a T-shirt saying “there will come a day when we can no longer do this - today is not that day”.

Which may not be brilliantly written, but inspired me as I huffed my way round! I’m with your dad. Keep on keeping on until you can’t.