Elderly dad just won't sit down!

[reddaisys]

My dad is 78, and he is starting to show some signs of aging, he's a little bit deaf and has this year struggled with policeman's heel but overall he is in very good shape for his age. He won't however sit down! He is constantly doing jobs for people, cleaning inside and outside the house, driving around and keeping very busy.

What I'm unsure of is whether he should be slowing down a bit? Or is it generally quite a good thing that he is so active?
I have a niggling feeling that he's going to injure himself soon by having a fall or accidental sawing his finger off (yes he still uses power tools in the garage, regularly).
I really think he needs to chill out a bit more, literally.

Anyone else have this situation with their DF?

Never heard of policeman's heel?

My nanna was very active until she hit 90 and then her decline was rapid, others think have a more steady slow down rate.

My Dad is about the same age and is constantly pottering around doing things. He used to be someone to put things off until another day but won't sit still now.

I think it's partly fear, the use it or lose mentality. Excuse the blatant sexism but we had all the grown up grandsons 'borrowing' power tools recently and we (the daughters) told grandsons to hang on to them so Grandad can't be using the chainsaw or grinder etc without being supervised. His ladders have been 'borrowed' as well. I think he knows what we're up to but our cunning plan is currently the unmentionable elephant in the room.

He’s doing the right thing by keeping active! Better that than sitting on a sofa all day wasting away.

He isn't a museum artefact to be put on the shelf carefully lest he crumble. He is an active interested member of society. Let him remain so.

A quick google tells me policeman’s heal is plantar fasciitis which I suffer from. Resting does not help, if you routinely do an amount of exercise you will be able to do it. If he rests he will then be in lots of heel pain when he tries to restart.
The only thing I would do is encourage him to see a physio who will give him exercises to aid recovery.

@reddaisys@teudent I am a retired nurse and I have never heard it called policemans heel!! We always called it plantar faciitis and i am just a few years younger than your dad. your dads doc must be 100 years old! let him stay active,

My MIL is 79 and is more active than me! She's got arthritis so has joint pain but other than that she's really fit and showing now signs of slowing down. If you suggested that she should slow down as she's getting elderly she'd punch you
OP it's good that your dad is keeping active both physically and mentally. He needs to slow down when he feels ready to slow down. Which doesn't sound like it will be any time soon.

No. He is active in both body and mind and has a sense of purpose. He is also social.

Thanks all for taking the time to reply.

I think there's staying active, and then there's being in complete denial about your old age. It's a really touchy subject with him. I totally understand you don't want people making you feel old and useless etc and he's absolutely not, but he is a bit unbalanced on his feet and it's almost an accident waiting to happen I feel!
Maybe I'm just worrying too much 🫤

You are worrying too much, people who sit still all day are far more likely to fall when they need to get up.

My mum is 77 and runs marathons. I think your dad will cope.

Listen to Micheal Mosley in conversation with a professor called Jane from Birmingham, who is an expert in aging well. It was on radio 4 at 12 noon yesterday ( 12th Jan) and I think part of a series called Just one Longer Thing.
She said sitting down was one of the worst things we can do, and standing more is really important.
did your dad listen to it ?
it was really interesting and I got up a lot more yesterday afternoon and evening.

she was also able to give evidence that 10, 000 steps a day is the beneficial number.

One's health is not something you want to discuss with your DD, particularly - more with people of one's own age. Especially if the DD then starts trying to tell you what to do!

Watch that documentary series about places in the world where people live much longer than most. The common factors were: they lived in hilly places (guess that was good for their hearts) and they kept moving - gardening, jobs, socialising. These were people in their 90s constantly on the go.

I think it's great if he's really active, I'm sure it's better for him to move around 'too much' than less than he could. If he has the energy to do so, that's fantastic.

I've been thinking a lot about this lately - I was struck by a post on here recently where a woman described her 74 year old dad as 'elderly', and it sounded like he was because he had neglected his health and wasn't leaving the house. Whereas my FIL, who is 76, recently cycled a few hundred miles over a five days! Because he has always exercised. Keeping active, whether it's about cycling or just moving a lot, is so important.

Policeman's heel is the same thing as plantar fasciitis.

I wouldn't say or do anything. Unless he doesn't have capacity (and it sounds is if he does), it's his body, his choice. Sitting is not generally very good for us, so he's instinctively doing the right thing.

At 78 your dad has every right to not embrace old age. DH and I are similar age. We are both very active, we do lots of voluntary work, family care, belong to clubs and walk. Although neither of us have 100% health, the issues we have would worsen if we were always sitting down.

I am sure your post comes from a place of love, but please remember that your dad could have another 20 years of active life ahead. This leads me to a serious question and would love an answer if you are able to. Suppose your Dad was to take your advice and sit down. What would he do with the time?
Does he do jigsaws, watch TV, read, do puzzles, listen to the radio or have hobby?

My dm kept very busy until she was around 78. She was still driving, volunteering for several organisations, visiting friends etc. Then she fell and broke her hip. Everything stopped and she could no longer do the things she loved. Her dementia seemed to get more severe very quickly, she could no longer drive and lost contact with friends. She died 4 years later. Please let your dad be as active as he can for as long as he is able.

My DF (82) had a horrific accident early last year. Broke most of the bones in his upper body & punctured a lung. The doctors said the fact he's still so physically active is why his body recovered 100% and extremely quickly.

Both parents are very active, walking & DF cycles. They drive & need no assistance (yet). Although I nearly killed DF myself when I discovered he'd been back on the ladder (which he fell from). My GM was active & happy until the last 6 months of her life, passing at 101.

By contrast, DH's 10 years younger father, can barely walk 50m & is deteriorating.

Active is excellent.

The only thing I say to dad, other older relatives is don't go up Ladders! Heard too many horror stories.

It's when they stop doing these things that they tend to start going downhill.