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Hearing issues impacting my life. Can anyone relate?

36 replies

Maemi · 17/12/2023 11:55

I'd like to ask if anyone else suffers from hearing loss and how you manage it in social situations?

I've experienced a problem with my hearing for a decade now. I first noticed it when I started having to lean in when conversing with other people at work a lot or asking them to repeat themselves, but mostly in work environments like team meetings while in an open plan office. When I first noticed it, I went to see my GP and was referred to see a consultant. I had several hearing tests and my hearing was considered great with no issues. I was told that I might have problems with my eustachian tube, but not much is known about it so I would have to live with it.

I use the phrase ' problem with my hearing' loosely because I can 'still hear' sounds and would be considered 'high functioning' if that is an appropriate term here. I simply mean that if anyone had a conversation with me, they wouldn't notice it, save in only certain environments which I mention below. I only have regular problems making out the exact words people say and, as I'll explain below, occasionally hear the wrong thing so respond wrongly/inappropriately. I struggle badly in social environments, e.g. in bars and restaurants where there are secondary and tertiary sounds.

In the past few months, I've taken several crafts courses and having completed them, feel that I must have been perceived as a real prick by the other people as a result of my hearing. Examples include: having to be told the same thing a few times and then, as an example again, doing something that the instructor must have told us not to do (so it looked like I wasn't doing what was told, but rather was doing what I liked and then being gently 'told' and guided). Another example includes mishearing what someone said during casual, small-talk in a class and responding inappropriately.

I completely understand that making some announcement at the start of the class would solve much of this, but I am not deaf and can hear a lot. Hearing, to me anyway, is not binary. It is not a case of 'you can either hear the sound or not' it is affected by the shape of a room and a whole myriad of other contributing factors. I know that in some situations, I am fine; in others, I am possibly a person with some minor disabilities. I still have not figured out which scenarios or environments affect me the most, and because of this lack of understanding on my part, I am very reluctant to share my hearing problems with friends and family.

Perhaps it is a simple case of saying: 'Sorry All, I have a slight hearing impairment so apologies if I keep asking you to repeat yourself'. In all of my years, I have never once come across anyone who has had to say any such thing at work or in a class either, so have no idea how to manage this area of my life.

If anyone suffers from a similar affliction, I'd really like to hear from you.

OP posts:
Chewbecca · 17/12/2023 12:13

Have you had them checked again or just 10 years ago?
I have some mild hearing loss (due to a connective tissue disorder) but not severe enough for aids (yet). I get it checked every 18m so I can see the change. I'll definitely get aids when the time is right. No embarrassment here. Why do you not feel comfortable sharing? Could you work on that?
I prefer to chat 121 so I can look my companion in the face, and avoid big, noisy, group situations when everything goes 'blah'. I also aim for quiet restaurants with soft furnishings, carpet preferably! It does help. My DH knows it is always fuzzy when he calls me from another room but I don't think he will ever stop 🤣
There is a dedicated thread for people with hearing loss in this topic, I am sure the posters there would be happy to listen and offer advice.

Maemi · 17/12/2023 12:59

Chewbecca · 17/12/2023 12:13

Have you had them checked again or just 10 years ago?
I have some mild hearing loss (due to a connective tissue disorder) but not severe enough for aids (yet). I get it checked every 18m so I can see the change. I'll definitely get aids when the time is right. No embarrassment here. Why do you not feel comfortable sharing? Could you work on that?
I prefer to chat 121 so I can look my companion in the face, and avoid big, noisy, group situations when everything goes 'blah'. I also aim for quiet restaurants with soft furnishings, carpet preferably! It does help. My DH knows it is always fuzzy when he calls me from another room but I don't think he will ever stop 🤣
There is a dedicated thread for people with hearing loss in this topic, I am sure the posters there would be happy to listen and offer advice.

Thanks for your post. I haven't had checks again because, after I received the hearing test results, I was very frustrated - feeling as though I had wasted NHS time and funds. The testing and consultations I had were over a very long period and I just felt the doctors could have seen other people and that I was taking up doctors' time. That whole experience also left me feeling as though I'd wasted ky own time.

Yes, I do and must work on it. It's something that I must admit I have been in slight denial about, but if it's impacting me to the extent where it's shaping how people view me, I must sort it out.

I didn't know there was a thread on hearing impairment, thank you.

OP posts:
Octavia64 · 17/12/2023 13:04

I have problems walking.

In some circumstances I will introduce myself as "Hi, I'm Octavia and just to let you know I have difficulty walking".

I only do this in situations where I am a paying customer as in my experience people discriminate badly against disabled people so in most circumstances I try very hard to appear able bodied.

Littlefish · 17/12/2023 13:04

I had my hearing checked 2 years ago (having had it checked about 10 years before that.

It had gone from being on the low end of normal, to now, showing hearing loss in the upper frequencies, severe enough to benefit from hearing aids.

The hearing aids have made a huge difference to my quality of life. Noisy pubs are still challenging, so I avoid them, but everyday noise and conversations are so much easier.

Please go and have your hearing tested again.

bobby81 · 17/12/2023 13:06

Thanks for this thread OP, I can totally relate. I've worried about my hearing for a year or so & keep meaning to get it checked but don't want to waste anyone's time, it doesn't seem bad enough. However it does impact me & I'm embarrassed about how often I have to ask people to repeat themselves. I also have to have the tv in louder than my family would like & I often miss the beginning of what people say (once I know they are talking to me I can concentrate more & it's a bit better if that makes sense.)
I'll check out other threads as recommended by a pp.
I'm 42 so almost feel like I'm too young for hearing loss but I know that's ridiculous.

Flensburg · 17/12/2023 13:08

Have you looked into auditory processing disorder?

Turquoisa80 · 17/12/2023 13:11

I have a hearing loss in one ear and it was detected when I was in primary school, I don't have any real problems in daily situations as I'm aware of this and always pay careful attention and fill in the gaps, I'm rubbish at hearing song lyrics and can't tell where someone is when they're calling my name. I also struggle in loud places and hate it when hairdressers talk to me.

coolcahuna · 17/12/2023 13:25

Definitely get another test done. What you are describing is what I have too. Function but lose clarity in big groups and noisy places. Can't hear or understand things like the theatre at all.

I went for 2 tests. One at specsavers and one at hidden hearing. I have forked out for hearing aids, which are expensive but changed my life
. You can't get them on the NHS until you're 55

coolcahuna · 17/12/2023 13:27

Meant to also say i don't have hearing loss in that the sounds are loud as a normal hearing but I have 40% less clarity.

tribpot · 17/12/2023 13:28

Just another voice to say please do have your hearing tested again, and do mention the particular scenarios that you're struggling with. My step-dad's hearing aids have hugely improved his life, and he now has better hearing than the rest of us where there is noisy background music because his hearing aids tune that out!

I would speak up and say you're having some hearing difficulties, you don't need to give a lot of information.

JenniferJupiterVenusandMars · 17/12/2023 13:30

I’m another like @coolcahuna , I actually avoid social occasions now, it’s too stressful.
I have Specsavers hearing aids, which are great, but my hearing is deteriorating and I need to get retested in the New Year.
olde (70), I lipread so if I can’t see someone’s face I’m lost - I can’t have a conversation if I’m driving for example.
I guess I will adapt but it’s lonely sometimes 🤗

Rocksonabeach · 17/12/2023 13:37

Hi my name’s Rocks just to let you know I have some auditory issues. If I need to lean in or don’t seem to have followed an instruction please just let me know.

booking a course - email them in advice

my son was born deaf now about 80% hearing but he has an auditory processing issue and a difficult working memory / we tell everyone before hand. Ask him by name eg Rufus look this way. Certain sports we stopped eg football as he couldn’t cope with hearing all the call from all different instructions plus the instructions from the sidelines as he was in tears. Now he horse-rides instead and the instructor is great known her since I was a child but she talks to him and says ‘Right Rufus look at your reins’ ‘now Rufus tell me what do you need to do to your reins.He says shorten them, right then Rufus excellent And so on - it’s normally a lesson with a maximum of three one is his elder sister.

At school and at home when working he has noise cancelling headphones - sounds opposite but my goodness the different. Gets rid of all the drivel and you can hear the person you are talking to.

go to Specsavers or anyone and keep getting it checked as well

emptyframes · 17/12/2023 13:45

Flensburg · 17/12/2023 13:08

Have you looked into auditory processing disorder?

I was just about to post the same thing. I'm almost certain I have this (a common trait for people with ND people like myself). I can hear the faintest sound like an earring back falling onto the carpet or a cat meowing outside while I'm sat indoors with all the windows closed. But if there's a slight bit of background noise like a dishwasher or hood fan running in the background then I cannot hear what people are saying because my ears pick up all of the background noises rather than the person speaking to me. It's particularly bad in noise restaurants or cafes when I'm trying to speak with friends sitting directly across from me. My husband becomes very frustrated when I have to ask him to repeat himself a few times. It's also an issue when we're sat watching TV and he's talking to me. My ears dart back and forth from the TV to him and I can't focus on what he's saying so I always have to get him to pause it.

APD is quite difficult to get diagnosed from what I've been told. I'm certain I have it, but always forget to ask to be checked out for it (thanks ADHD)

BlueberryVelvet · 17/12/2023 13:46

I put off hearing tests for years but during Covid I realised how much I lip read when everyone started wearing masks and I couldn’t understand anyone.

I have 47% loss in the left and 52% in the right and got hearing aids. They’ve transformed my life. I can participate in life now!

2jacqi · 17/12/2023 13:54

@Maemi I was offered hearing aids at 18!! I refused due to vanity!!! I am now 69. I bought my own hearing aids just 11 years ago and I was shocked at the noise outside the shop in town when I first put them in! I missed so many conversations. at my work the first thing i used to say to the new doctors on rotation was that I am deaf so you need to speak directly to me and clearly. no mumbling or i wont hear! what a difference the hearing aids made to my life - able to have conversation in the middle of town! couldnt hear anything before!!

Chewbecca · 17/12/2023 14:22

emptyframes · 17/12/2023 13:45

I was just about to post the same thing. I'm almost certain I have this (a common trait for people with ND people like myself). I can hear the faintest sound like an earring back falling onto the carpet or a cat meowing outside while I'm sat indoors with all the windows closed. But if there's a slight bit of background noise like a dishwasher or hood fan running in the background then I cannot hear what people are saying because my ears pick up all of the background noises rather than the person speaking to me. It's particularly bad in noise restaurants or cafes when I'm trying to speak with friends sitting directly across from me. My husband becomes very frustrated when I have to ask him to repeat himself a few times. It's also an issue when we're sat watching TV and he's talking to me. My ears dart back and forth from the TV to him and I can't focus on what he's saying so I always have to get him to pause it.

APD is quite difficult to get diagnosed from what I've been told. I'm certain I have it, but always forget to ask to be checked out for it (thanks ADHD)

This is a really interesting read, thank you. Because whilst I say I can't hear some stuff, I am massively distracted by a noise in the next room or a conversation on another table and just can't hear anything until they've been resolved. Hmmmm!

Maemi · 20/12/2023 22:34

Thank you for all of your replies, they've been very helpful. I have an appointment booked in with a nurse in the New Year, possibly for another hearing test.

I did take an online hearing test yesterday where 3-digit numbers were read out with white noise in the background. I've got to admit that it reached a stage where I pretty much had my ear right up to my laptop speaker thinking 'There is absolutely no way anyone can hear this', haha.

I've not been able to find the main thread on hearing so if anyone can show me the way that would be great thanks.

OP posts:
Violinist64 · 21/12/2023 02:27

coolcahuna · 17/12/2023 13:25

Definitely get another test done. What you are describing is what I have too. Function but lose clarity in big groups and noisy places. Can't hear or understand things like the theatre at all.

I went for 2 tests. One at specsavers and one at hidden hearing. I have forked out for hearing aids, which are expensive but changed my life
. You can't get them on the NHS until you're 55

You are incorrect about hearing aids. The NHS will provide them for anyone who needs them, whatever their age. I agree that the op need another hearing test. I also think it is worth exploring the possibility of auditory processing disorder. This is where someone hears the sounds but they don't register immediately so that there is a delay in understanding what has been heard.

Violinist64 · 21/12/2023 02:31

The main thread is For Those of Us who are Deaf or Hard of Hearing Part 2.

MooseBeTimeForSnow · 21/12/2023 03:56

I was struggling to hear conversations in busy rooms and restaurants, so I got a hearing test. I had significant mid-range loss in one ear. I now have a Bluetooth hearing aid. I also have two little gizmos - one works with the TV so I can set my own volume. The other goes on a table and helps in meetings, noisy rooms etc.

tribpot · 21/12/2023 12:38

Main thread for @Maemi https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/general_health/4821299-for-those-of-us-who-are-deaf-or-hard-of-hearing-part-2

God the MN search facility is dreadful. As usual I had to resort to Google to actually find this.

TigerRag · 21/12/2023 15:37

Violinist64 · 21/12/2023 02:27

You are incorrect about hearing aids. The NHS will provide them for anyone who needs them, whatever their age. I agree that the op need another hearing test. I also think it is worth exploring the possibility of auditory processing disorder. This is where someone hears the sounds but they don't register immediately so that there is a delay in understanding what has been heard.

As APD is related to the brain processing sounds, (I can hear you but what you say and what I hear aren't the same thing) it's not picked up on a hearing test.

I was diagnosed by Audiology who also told me I have mild hearing loss - ENT told me there's nothing wrong and I can't have hearing problems if I'm sight impaired. (Which absolutely isn't true)

Violinist64 · 21/12/2023 15:52

@TigerRag, they are absolutely wrong. Of course you can have hearing problems if you are sight impaired - l presume by sight impaired you are blind or partially sighted. It is possible to be both deaf and blind. Otherwise, there are many, many people who wear both glasses and hearing aids, including me.

Maemi · 03/01/2024 21:04

@tribpot thank you!

OP posts:
inappropriateportioncontrol · 04/01/2024 10:04

@MooseBeTimeForSnow what is this gizmo of which you speak ?

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