What kind of eating disorder is this?

[HowNice23]

I struggle to eat at home, especially meals I have made myself. In particular if rushed for time or stressed food is like cotton wool in my mouth. It's like a almost permanent lack of appetite. I literally just pick e.g. two or three chunks of chicken from a casserole and a few bites of rice.

Weirdly I manage to empty a full plate and etc have a pudding or starter if I go out for a lunch or dinner so I don't think it's physical more I'm lacking the cues to do it when on my own.

I don't give a stuff about my weight so it's not linked to that. Just wondering what's going on as I can get very exhausted after a few days which exacerbates the problem and then I have to force something down and it's really not healthy.

It does sound odd. Stress? Are you worried about things while you are at home?

Are you out with friends when you eat well? Do you enjoy the food or just eat it absentmindedly?

There are complete nutrition drinks you can get which may be a short cut to keeping nutrients up.

I have issues around preparing food, particularly meat. I also have concerns about how fresh things are , how long things have been open. I'm the same if I eat at someone's house but I'm fine eating out.

There's other stuff too but that's the most relevant. I have a eating disorder called afrid.

I find routine and eating the BBC same things help. I have porridge every morning.

For lunch I either eat leftovers from dinner the night before or a jacket potato

For dinner mon-thurs I cook, I tend to pre chop a load of veg then do four different meals eg curry, stir fry, stew, pasta bake. I find the less prep makes it more palatable. Dh cooks fri - Sun so that's easier for me (I'm fine with his cooking)

I like to snack so do get grapes, crisps , biscuits it.

Ignore BBC not sure why that's there 😂

To me it sounds like perceived pressure / stress at home is making eating not very enjoyable and more like a chore to you. Is everything ok at home?

I think it's a good idea to try to get the most nutrition you can. I have not been eating well since having kids, eating a lot of their discarded leftovers etc instead of proper meals because I hate waste. Recently found out I'm anaemic due to poor diet. So I'm making more effort.
I understand poor nutrition can lead to problems later in life.

Is there any difference if you go to someone else's home or if the food is prepared by someone else at home/their home?

As a matter of interest what do you do for a living?

I'll eat full plates at other people's houses and like I say if someone took me out to dinner every night I'd be fine. 🤣 I think it is tied up with pressure. I've been separated for seven years and my ex husband was a better cook whereas I'm disinterested and it's just a chore to cook for my teenagers at the end of the day after a full day at work, teens who as you can imagine require constant big meals although they both do pitch in. I just make it, look at it and just cant face it. Also I work from home and I probably need to get out and exercise a bit more to work up an appetite perhaps.

Ah. My husband is a Chef and eats like you. I hate to say this because I sound like my Mum but can you batch cook so you can just shove something in the oven for 30 minutes whilst mooching out for a walk.

Have you tried meal prepping? Sometimes I don't feel like eating something I've just cooked. But the next day for leftovers it's the best thing ever.

I asked because I was exactly the same of this when I had anxiety. I would eat if prepared by someone else but when down to my own devices, I just couldn't stomach it. I didn't feel anxious as such, just not hungry! Other anxious symptoms came later!

Can you eat it while you cook it? I struggle not to, then have to sit down to a tiny dinner because I’ve already eaten my share!

You could have a range of snacks that’s very nutritious- cubed cheese, , nuts, grapes, carrots etc for nibbling.

If your weight is ok, I’d worry less about eating. Take full advantage of eating out, snack healthily, and don’t bother too much with cooked meals. Annoying as you have to cook for the family anyway.

Actually PPs suggestion of cooking on a different day is good, too. Cook two double sized meals at the same time, that gives you three nights you can eat without having to prep- just reheat.

This week I did a massive lasagne and a pan of hearty soup at the same time. 4 evening meals, with cheese on toast served with the soup.
A lamb stew that came back as a byriani- add curry paste, rice and water (and frozen spinach because it’s great in curry!).

I would say the more you think about it, the worse it gets. So think about ways round it, rather than worrying there’s something wrong.

Sounds like stress. Try starting each meal with an easy prepared salad and a drink. It might whet your appetite for a small serving of the main meal.

It doesn't sound like an eating disorder, more that you lose your appetite during the cooking process. By the time you have cooked something like a casserole you have already eaten with your eyes and nose during the cooking process so your brain feels full and satisfied before eating it. There is a lot of information online about it.

Also cooking your own meals and having to work for your food can take away your appetite.

I had a breakdown a few years ago, brought on by a variety of things. But I think about this a lot (now that Im 100% well). I LOVE my food and one of the most shocking things was an absolute inability to eat. I lost weight so so fast. It would take me an hour to eat one slice of toast. I was starving, my tummy was rumbling but it was like eating cotton wool like you say.

I am pretty certain that my issue was adreneline. Fight or flight brought on by stress. Id find the adreneline would wear off gradually towards the end of the day and the hyped up feeling would drop a bit and suddenly I would be able to eat. So would stuff my face as I was actually starving.

Ive often wondered if this is the basis of anorexia. An adreneline disorder. People think its about body image but I think that is a red herring. Body image might be the stress trigger but its the stress that leads to this shutting down of appetite and digestion.

OP, I wonder if you need treatment for your stress levels? The eating should come hand in hand with your stress being managed. It sounds like you have a terrible trigger around eating alone, this causes stress/adrenaline or whatever hormone, and that overdose of hormone shuts down your ability to eat.

When I feel like this I find snacking on stuff I didn’t just cook helps. Either supermarket things (hummus, veg, cheese, yoghurt) or eg a roast chicken gone cold or boiled eggs or something. I also find adding acidity and chili helps.

I always think that something I’ve cooked myself never tastes as good as something that has been cooked for me, even when using the same ingredients and method. I’m not a bag cook - I cook from scratch pretty much all the time and our meals are nutritious and tasty. But there’s something about having cooked it against having it down for me that makes it less enjoyable.

i wonder whether there is something of that in your situation?

Exactly this, my experience as well, really well explained

Yes I do think it's a bit of pressure/general stress. My job is creative with tight deadlines and it's hard to generate amazing creative stuff when you're exhausted so that exacerbates the stress! Maybe even a bit of grief for the old family dinners round the table. It's not the same when you're doing it on your own. Perhaps it's as simple as missing adult company when I eat. My lads are lovely but we aren't exactly discussing Proust over the dining table. Maybe I'm subconsciously waiting for him to come in and tell me what we're having.

There’s something to do with preparing food, that your senses and psych have some form of satiety by cooking.

try prepping meals in advance and keeping them in the frisdge to be warmed up or eaten cold (salads etc) just before meal times

Wow this is exactly what I experienced, explained so well.

When I was going through a period of peak stress I really struggled to eat during the day. Cotton wool, as others have said.

My best time to eat was in the evening, when my children were in bed. I'd try to eat as much as I could to get me through the next day. I also relied on juice and sodas to keep my calories up.

I found if I was eating out with friends it would often go away and I could eat and enjoy food. I suppose just being distracted helped my body regulate.

A terrible thing, and very much stress related for me.

I hope things improve for you OP.

It sounds as though you’ve identified it, OP. A little self care rather than just criticising yourself might be the way.

Unmumsnetty hugs.

Just remembered I had to stop making beef stew in the slow cooker as I found the meaty smell totally overwhelming, almost revolting after an hour or so... Definitely think my brain 'eats' smells! How interesting.