Cancer support thread 90 - still the best threads no one wants to be on

[LemonDrizzle10]

Last one filled up quickly!

I was wondering, taking inspiration from @TopOfTheCliff 's "The Great Recovery", would anyone be interested in a new thread with that title, for people who have finished or are finishing their treatment plans?

@SummerCycling that sounds a good idea!

Yes that sounds good Summer.

Yes me too @SummerCycling

I’d be interested - will hopefully be going onto oral maintenance treatment after last chemo. So hopefully I’ll get my life back and that will be my recovery…until next time! (Trying not to think like that, although been told to expect it).
Holidays planned for next year, will hopefully get back to the gym (just for normality- I’m not great at going). Different normal life ahead.

As it was my concept I would love a Thread for Recovery. I may start a new Instagram account to document my recovery just for my own amusement. Last time round my physio filmed me for his website lifting huge weights!

@SummerCycling I would definitely be interested in a recovery thread.

I wish I could join you on your great recovery thread, it sounds like a such a good idea as so much stuff after cancer is just … left. & you’re expected to just pick up the pieces of your life and carry on. I felt so weird and lost after my first cancer wish I had been on MN then.

Anyway — with gallows humour may I also say that anyone not expecting to make a great recovery can join us on the stage IV thread. We have summoned a magical
racoon to help wash us and care for us when it all gets too much, so it’s very enticing surely.

love to old names and newbies whatever stage you’re at x

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/life_limiting_illness/stage-iv-cancer-incurable-roll-up-roll-up-this-thread-is-for-you?page=3

@TopOfTheCliff yes add me to the recovery thread!
Head cold this week after doing some supply work, lots of sneezing kids and teachers!
I’ve started doing light weights and really hurt myself doing squats last weekend.

Been dealing with some nausea with the immunotherapy drugs.

Keep on swimming!

Holidays next year sounds great Red.

Mine is probably more bumbling along after cancer rather than a great recovery but a great recovery is aspirational. My anxious side fears the great recovery being a prelude to the great demise but hopefully not and we will become one of those annoying stories to tell others instead. You would be most welcome to join us Mowly, sending love to you.

My recovery feels pretty good but then I catch myself and think, don't think too positively, you're tempting fate. Even though I don't believe in fate .

@mowly77 I’m sorry, I am also stage 4 actually and my cancer is incurable.
But it will hopefully go into remission/ be held at bay for a few years, before it comes back.
So I am really just pretending to have a Great Recovery. I could probably be on all three threads for legitimate reasons.

The oncologist was quite negative about how soon it could all go badly…you think why are you putting me through all this surgery and chemo if it’s not worth it?

Decided to ignore him. I bet they’re prone to pessimism after a while!

I never thought I'd be posting on here.
Discovered yesterday my son has bowel cancer. Although he is an adult he has autism and his level of understanding is somewhat limited. He usually lives at home and we thought he always would. He is in hospital now, quite cheerful, never complaining. For now we have decided not to tell him, although at some point we will need to say something. But right now we don't know what will happen so there is nothing really to say.
It is as if everyone here has disappeared into their own little shell, each with individual thoughts and feelings and how it will affect them. That sounds as if they are selfish, I don't really mean that as such, it's just I am running around asking if they are okay, do they want to talk and listening if they do. I have to be supportive and family dynamics are complicated to say the least. I have no friends locally and no extended family of my own. I realise now that my son was as much as a support to me as I was to him.

@Whattodotomorrow just quickly popping in to ask does the shampoo bar you're using have a name please? I've had a look on Lush but am not sure what I'm looking for?

Welcome Peppers So sorry about your son. My son also has autism. How old is your son?

@RedRosesPinkLilies oncologists are a law unto themselves! I've learnt not to pay too much heed to how enthusiastic/pessimistic they are, I think it just depends on their nature.

As a case in point I had scans for brachytherapy. My main oncologist was like yeah, things seem to be heading in the right direction, there's been some reduction etc etc. I left quite concerned that they were improving but not quickly enough...

Next week I saw another oncologist as mine was on holiday and after looking at the same set of scans she was 'ooh, these scans are looking fantastic, great reduction, only residual left in the lymph nodes and the main tumour is shrinking nicely too, it's looking really good'.

It honestly felt like they were looking at two different sets of scans and both were factually correct in what they told me but the manner was definitely different.

I suppose it's a double edged sword - cancer is so unpredictable that you don't want to give people false hope that everything is definitely going to be fine. On the other hand I much preferred the second oncologists outlook!

@ClashCityRocker - yes - I think it’s exactly true that the same info can be interpreted differently. I find it much more helpful to be (realistically) positive. It’s not going to alter things - but it’s a darn sight more pleasant for living.

@ClashCityRocker I've had exactly the same from two different oncologists - one told me things were "stable", the other "it's
having a good response to the chemo" talking about the same CT scan. It did confuse me at the time!

My oncologist was very optimistic and she showed me the oncotype report which had high risk written in big letters on it and told me that although the report said high risk of reoccurrence she had lots of patients and some she thought would have reoccurrence and some she thought wouldn't and she thought I wouldn't. I could not see at all what that was based on and it reminded me of the doctor who told me I didn't look like someone with cancer. But then neither did our friend who died after 6 months aged 40ish. I prefer just having the data. I think they often don't know as well otherwise chemo etc would be much more selective. And the issue when you get it in your 40s is it can come back even 30 years later.

Thanks for your replies to my question about a "The Great Recovery" thread!

It sounds like we should go ahead with it, and I don't mind opening the thread except that it would feel a bit like I was plagiarising @TopOfTheCliff 's idea and title.

What do you think, @TopOfTheCliff do you want to start the thread?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/general_health/4919791-the-great-recovery-after-cancer-what-next

There you go! Let’s see what happens. All welcome.

@peppertrees I am so sorry to hear about your son. There is a thread just for you that welcomes family and friends of cancer patients while this thread of for the patients going through treatment. They will understand your heartbreak there. I wish you well
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/life_limiting_illness/4729740-the-storm-part-3?page=5

@mowly77 I think you mentioned once that you're an editor? It made sense to me when I read that because I was in awe of your incredible talent with words, and your humour too. Hope to see you on the Great Recovery thread. Sending you lots of love x

@RedRosesPinkLilies I was already at stage 4 at diagnosis in 2020. I had a reoccurance at the end of 2022. Chemo (for me) this time seemed much easier I suppose because the aim is to hold the cancer at bay rather than cure it. I've also found recovery easier this time round. I know my prognosis is poor but I try to keep going.
I do recognise that I'm lucky not to have experienced debilitating side effects or to have been left with long term pain.
Deborah James had her Rebellious Hope I think my t shirt would read Informed Denial!