Cancer Support thread 88 - virtual rage room currently empty, virtual collective afternoon tea - all welcome!

[LemonDrizzle10]

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@SierraSapphire so pleased and relieved for you!

Well today’s small gain was a fancy box of chocolates. I decided to treat myself at the weekend but they were misdelivered and never arrived. I complained to the company, and they reassured me they would come today which they did but they refunded me as compensation. So free chocs! I’m feeling a bit sick now from pigging out on them 😂
Oncologist says another week of resting my feet before I restart treatment which is mixed news. She still wants me to take the full dose but only once I have healed up. So that will be three weeks off and I’ll miss another week as I’m going to France in August and refuse to come back for the blood tests!
I am resolutely plodding onward, except I am not actually plodding! Today I was doing Sudoku and playing the accordion badly.

Sending calm and strength to those who need it xx
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Yes @SierraSapphire have a virtual chocolate to celebrate!

Flora I also love to travel and was sad about the loss of travel but in the end I managed to get quite a lot of travel in. I went to Scotland and Lake District after surgery then just before chemo day trip to Bempton then when a chemo got delayed I took a few days to go to Pembrokeshire and see puffins on Skomer by boat and stay on a farm then end of chemo a week in Cornwall then couple of months after radio 8 nights in Maldives. Also went to May Bumps. So overall you can still get a fair bit of travel in but have to adjust plans. During treatment I stuck to UK and within 1 hour of a hospital though didn't need them but gets round insurance issue. The charity Somethingtolookforwardto.org.uk provide breaks and days out to people undergoing cancer treatment esp those who have lost income, the Cornwall week was via them and a day in another hotel was from them. I just got tickets from them for Hyde Hall and will use them to go to their Flower show. I stuck to outdoor things. I also did Farne Island to see puffins on Staple. Doing something nice say once a month really helps get you through.

Glad you got good results Siera. Hospital seem to have forgotten about my back but it's better now anyway.

I am the same with chocolates Top. Good they were free. Just spent 2.5 hours gardening with dh.

Puffins! Now there’s a thought. And wish I were there to hear @TopOfTheCliff playing the accordion badly.

Oh @Florabritannica you really wouldn’t enjoy it. I’m like the tramp who plays outside Marks and Spencer and people pay him to stop because it’s so painful 😂I took it up years ago because it amused me to have a maverick instrument

@TopOfTheCliff i would also like to hear your playing, sounds jazzy! Thanks also for the advice re. Trying to be positive! And also to others who have helpful advice too.

Tomorrow is bowel prep day for me which is vile…

Puffins are wonderful and the best places to see them in Wales is at Skomer, boats from Marloes, in England its Farne Islands in Northumberland but think there's an issue there atm and can't land (National Trust site says) and lots of places in Scotland. There is a puffin season though and nearly at the end of it. I also fancied the CelticDeep tours were you swim with puffins, tuna, shark, seals etc which are often from Marloes too in Pembrokeshire. The Isles of Scilly was really good for wildlife too, lovely red squirrels on Tresco though saw the Skybus has strikes planned and you have to be brave to go on the boat. Though there's a helicopter as well.

Good luck with bowel prep, did that about 5 years ago, very grim. Make sure you reserve a bathroom.

@Brunonononooo I hope bowel prep goes ok. It’s definitely a time I’m pleased to have two bathrooms. Between recovering from a colectomy and now chemo side effects we now have a bathroom which is just called Mum’s bathroom. I have to share it with the cat litter but fortunately my cats don’t judge!

My oncologist is going above and beyond to make sure I’m ok this cycle so I’ve been getting regular calls from the chemo nurses. I have gone two days without needing Imodium so I got a gold star today. I do so love discussing the consistency of my bowel movements straight after breakfast.

Thanks for the well wishes (and the chocolates Top. I thought I'd feel good at being given the all-clear but I actually feel nothing. I do still have low everything in my blood including iron and it's now 8 months after chemo, so the GP is still investigating, but maybe I've been so anxious/miserable for months now that it's become my default state! Or maybe it'll take a while to snap out of it. I'm supposed to be on leave as well, but I'm self-employed and some urgent stuff has come up, but that I can't really walk away from, so that's annoying too!

I want to see the puffins at Bempton and Flamborough Head earlier this year, and last year. We had a couple of years when we tried to see them in Wales, but one year it was so foggy, apparently you couldn't even see the island let alone the puffins, and the next the sea was too rough to get out.

Glad you're back issue has gone away Silkie, have been wondering how you were doing.

Waking up to another day of cancer and unemployment, I’ve still been able to smile at this thread with its puffins, poo, and inept accordion playing.
Off to Italy tomorrow and find I have zero enthusiasm for the trip. Villa holiday with three generations of family (18 in all) for a family wedding (another branch). Mass catering, tedious inactivity, and bursts of frenzied admin trying to get 18 people aged 0-69 from A to B.

What little treats can you build into your days while you’re away @Florabritannica ?
For me it’s decent coffee and cake…

Weight gain will make me feel even worse - one of the things I hate about this kind of holiday is the boredom-related eating.
Finding myself spiralling into a familiar depressive state where I have no enthusiasm for anything.

But mornings are always the worst time. The sheer effort of getting out of bed and showering.

Morning everyone 🌞

The sun's out here & was all day yesterday despite rain being forecast. I had a lovely, rather long, walk from here, to one friends house, then another, and then a pub for lunch together. My best friend's dh drives a taxi so he brought us home & I went straight to bed 🤣

I seem to have discovered my inner social butterfly lately 🙈 Sensible me is slightly regretting it today - I'm rather knackered & should know better really!

Today's to be a slow one though - I'm out for a CT scan tomorrow, then birthday shopping with the girls for their dad. I'm trying to ignore the scan part for now! We've decided to move (this house is bloody awful), so will probably finish off the first clear out of dd2's bedroom at some point today, then I can move on to mine which is an absolute shithole.

Oh, forgot to ask - why can't I eat for 2hrs before the CT? No-one told me not to when I was in the hospital & they made me abandon brekky to go for one 🤷‍♀️

Sorry you're feeling rubbish @Florabritannica - that does sound a lot to cope with, being around people can be hard when going through all this.

@lucysmam I presume it's so that your digestive system isn't very active, though for abdominal ones I've just been told not to eat or drink an hour before.

I've just realised as well, my default wide leg jeans won't be any good tomorrow, will they - because of the metal zip 🤔 I have literally that one pair of leggings I'd rather not put on unless I have to. & I certainly don't want to head into town in them!

Maybe I could just shove them in my bag & change...or pj bottoms...clearly I'm overthinking & not doing well at ignoring it until tomorrow!

@SierraSapphire the letter says I can drink as normal 🤷‍♀️ I'll be starving by the time it's done - I hope there's not a wait!

@lucysmam - I was given a gown to change into when I had a CT scan, and I'm sure that will be available if you don't have anything suitable to wear.

@Florabritannica - can you plead the need to rest and retreat to your room with whatever it is you like doing for an hour or two? Books, podcasts, TV downloaded to your phone, crafty stuff? In her BC book, Liz O'Riordain says that you should shamelessly play the cancer card whenever you want to get out of stuff, and play it as often as you like. Sorry you're feeling low. I found - and still find - the weight of social effort overwhelming sometimes.

Thank you for kind wishes and support! I haven’t told wider family yet and am not sure when I will, so I can’t play the cancer card yet. But despite the crashing of my academic career I do have a book to write, so I might sneak off on the pretext of working.

Yeah @dotty2 "Just tell them your mum has cancer" was often used in our house to excuse all manner of unrelated things!

Liz O'Riordain says that you should shamelessly play the cancer card

I do like Liz.

I have only had this thing for a month and have guiltily worked out that the above is necessary at certain times. Guilty as I'm only stage 1 and prognosis is good.

People seem to understand it better than other conditions. (A friend and I have reflected on this before as her ex husband had bipolar but it wasn't something she got much support with nor could mention easily. She firmly told me to use the "c card" when I was in a pickle about something.)

Sorry if that's obtuse 😬