I thought that was it when I had it four years ago but I was told my smear was borderline six months ago and had another recently and was called in for colposcopy (looking with microscope) yesterday.
I am told to undress and he will examine to see if a biopsy is necessary. Then he sticks his head round the curtain and says, actually I've just read the report properly and it is very severe. We will treat today. I burst into tears because last time it was really horrible and I was sure it wouldn't be that bad as it was only borderline six months ago. He just kept saying, no it is glandular. I said what is that, more likely to be cancerous, he said (crossly) no, glandular. Wtf does that mean anyway? The atmosphere in the room was a bit tense and I asked the nurse if there was a female gynocologist (sp?) and she said no, unfortunately. Then he breezes in again and I am really relishing the prospect of this irritable man sticking four needles and a hot wire up me.
Then he has a little bit of an argument with the nurse about iodene, she says we don't use iodene and he says just give me the iodene and she goes off, and then he says I will leave as there is no chaperone so they both go and I am there with my legs in the air, thinking what idiot person thought it would make this better for women if they stuck a Jack Vettriano poster on the ceiling. Then the nurse returns and says where is the doctor, and he appears again and says he left as there was no chaperone and looked at me said 'see what I have to put up with' and the nurse looks at me and rolls her eyes and we laugh briefly.
Then, the fourth needle hit some sort of nerve and I screamed and he asked my name and said look, do you want to talk to your husband about having a general and I said aren't you done now and he said no, you screamed so I took out the needle. I said, but you've put in loads of needles and he said we need four, shall I carry on?
Good lord, I wanted to kick the man in the face, I know its his job but a little compassion please and the best bit, just before he starts to cut away the abnormality, I am shaking so much he says, 'MrsCarrot, you have to relax, if you are leaping around all over the place I might burn the vagina'. That kind of statement is not condusive to relaxation in my book but I stayed still so it worked, though it took a lot of concentration when he said there might be a little smoke as he seals the area.
Then, thats it, he says give this letter to your doctor and don't have sex for a month. No explanation of what it means, why it came back, whether it is likely to happen again and why it got so bad in six months. I have asked a couple of people I know have had this and they both said there wasn't really any ddiscussion, more a quick, 'it is bad, we will cut it out'.
Of course I am grateful there is a screening programme and treatment to avoid cancer but surely a little more explanation wouldn't go amiss. I have looked it up a bit and I saw colposcopy documents from other hospitals that seemed much more sympathetic, Leeds, for eg, has a room where you get a cup of tea and
a seat for fifteen minutes. These small things make a difference I think.