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Original poster

A very difficult subject for me to talk about so I have changed my name, I am a regular.

41 replies

SecretBoozeWhore · 16/02/2008 20:50

Testing

OP posts:
fishie · 16/02/2008 20:54

yes....?

posieflump · 16/02/2008 20:54

you drink too much booze , yes?

Original poster
SecretBoozeWhore · 16/02/2008 20:56

I am a single woman with small kids, and I don't go out very often.

The past two times I have gone out, I have behaved extremely inappropriately - or so I have been told. You see, I can't actually remember.

I drink fast, and I drink a lot. It's like it's my only form of stress relief. It probably only happens once a fortnight at the very most - but I had the shock of my life as my friend has just told me what I was getting up to the last time I went out - and I just have no recollection of this whatsoever. The kids were with their dad - they always are when I go out - but I don't even remember how I got home.

How can I curb this? How can I deal with the people I have potentially offended? I always say I will never do it again - then i go straight out and do it again. I am utterly ashamed of myself and my behavior, so much so that I'[m not going to go into details.

I can't bear the thought of not going out, I hate the idea of being the party pooper in the corner with one glass of diet coke, but this has to stop.

OP posts:
Original poster
SecretBoozeWhore · 16/02/2008 20:59

day to day, I don't drink at all. I don't drink in pregnancy. I don't drink in the day. I don't drink alone - but when I do drink, I drink until I don't have any judgement, can't remember what I've been doing, and the scary bit is I remain upright and articulate and fully functional. Everyone I speak to looks at me strangely and says "God, you weren't that bad, what are you worried about" - but how do I know that when I can't remember at all?

OP posts:
fishie · 16/02/2008 21:02

go out differently, say for a meal or to cinema. what are you drinking, wine? can be really strong in pubs.

do you see much of your friends apart from when you go out with them, are you nervous or worried about going out? does that make you drink too much?

DoodleToYou · 16/02/2008 21:04

Message withdrawn

suwoo · 16/02/2008 21:04

I do this a lot too, I have very limited recollection of my actions even when I have had a small amount of alcohol. If I were to actually go out I wouldn't be able to remember how I got home either. Just checking 'threads I'm on' on a Saturday morning is a suprise to me

Original poster
SecretBoozeWhore · 16/02/2008 21:12

I don't get time to myself with my friends when I'm not in a pub with them. And my friends are still childless party girls living a lifestyle I can't keep up with.

I told my friend that thats it, Im quitting, and she told me not to be silly and tyhat it's perfecly normal for that to happen, and that the same had happened to her.

I wasn't drinking wine, I was drinking house double vodkas, at 70ml a glass!

God that looks awful in black and white

OP posts:
DoodleToYou · 16/02/2008 21:17

Message withdrawn

yetanothernamechanger · 16/02/2008 21:20

I have lots of instances where I have suffered the vileness of blackouts,and mine have occured not through vast amounts of booze.
I have come to the conclusion that I have a addictive personality as when I start to drink,I am unable to say "No" and often,I will drink until I'm w*nkered.The day after,I hide-the shame and remorse is utterly horrific.
I find it hard socially,so when out I do tend to drink quickly to get rid of my nerves and to get that warm glow as soon as poss.

It's pretty certain that if you drink 'til blackout mode-its bloody too much and a problem-but you know that.It doesnt matter if you drink like that once a month or once every 6 mths-its still a problem,I only know to well what it feels like.

MrsJackJohnson · 16/02/2008 21:30

what really works for me to pace myself on my nights out is to drink an alcoholic drink- then 2 tonic waters- 1 alcoholic drink - 2 tonic waters- IT REALLY WORKS FOR ME!!!!

laurz75 · 16/02/2008 21:44

God, you sound just like me! Before I had my 2 kids anyway.
I think you have to change your drink (vodka is STRONG!!) and make sure you have eaten before you go out. And try to get one of your friends to look out a bit more for you if you start doing 'wild' things.
If these things still don't work then you really need to work out why you get SO pissed - maybe there's a reason you've not really considered?

Original poster
SecretBoozeWhore · 16/02/2008 21:45

Shame and remorse - yes, that's the feeling I have had all day. I feel awful, not knowing what i did. I can't ever go out again in case I get laughed out of the building.

OP posts:
tissy · 16/02/2008 21:48

same as MrsJJ- alternate booze and soft drinks. If your friends think you're a party pooper, tell them you're on a diet.

mymama · 16/02/2008 21:48

I have a good friend like this. She doesn't drink through the week but when she goes out drinks hard and fast and is drunk quite quickly. The next day she can never remember anything from the night before.

What do you drink? Wine seems to be her biggest problem, especially red wine. She has tried changing her drinks to premixed things or white wine and she seems to be better. Other option is to have a non-alcoholic drink in between drinks.

It is a problem. In our circle of friends we all know xxx will get drunk and we will have to look after her to the point where sometimes we talked about not inviting her (haven't done it yet).

The scariest thing is that she can't go out without having a drink. She wouldn't sit in the corner with a diet coke.

I think alcohol is a problem when you can't consider one night out without drinking and that to have a good time means to have a drink.

foxinsocks · 16/02/2008 21:50

I think if you don't want to do it, don't do it. And I think you need to take your friends to one side and say 'this isn't funny for me anymore - I'm a parent now and I want to stop drinking so when I go out, I'm going to have diet cokes for a bit till I feel like I'm in control and that's that' and if they laugh you out the building then they aren't the friends you think they are but I bet they don't. You don't need to be ashamed of not drinking - but I think if you want it to be successful, then you need to get your friends on your side.

Original poster
SecretBoozeWhore · 16/02/2008 21:53

I do eat before I go out, and I am certainly not lightly built - quite the opposite.

But I do drink fast. I want to get tiddled asap, and I do that by drinking quickly. - instead, all that seems to have happened is that I have behaved appallingly without even remembering in the morning.

I would rather have passed out in a corner somewhere, then it is immediately obvious I have had too much. I carry on, that's the scary thing, I don't feel particularly drunk until I'm absolutely roasted, and that's not how I want to feel..

I will definatly alternate with soft drinks. The reason I drink vodka is that it's cheap and low calorie!

OP posts:
Original poster
SecretBoozeWhore · 16/02/2008 21:55

I mean they'll laugh me out of the building because of the way I behaved last time I went out, not because I want to stop drinking.

I will start having single shots and having them long, in a half pint glass.

OP posts:
NoShitSherlock · 16/02/2008 21:57

I had this happen to me. It's really bad when I drink fizzy wine. Your reasons could be the drink your having, is it cheap vodka etc, are you drinking enough water, are you eating plenty before you go drinking.

I find if I have a 1/2 pint for water every 2 drinks, plenty of food before I go out (spuds is best for lining your stomach) and just take your time.

foxinsocks · 16/02/2008 21:59

then you'll just have more surely? I went through a phase of drinking like that when I was very young. Mainly because my body just didn't seem to have a limit and I had access to as much booze as I wanted and I was curious - I could actually drink virtually a whole bottle of vodka. But it was bloody madness.

If you are that ashamed, why don't you just try not having any at all for a night and see what happens?

Original poster
SecretBoozeWhore · 16/02/2008 22:01

yes, it's cheap vodka and lots of it.

This stops now. It's not good. I am taking some time out for myself.

I can go out and not drink - but I don't enjoy it because being around drunk people when you are sober is irritating. I only like drunk people when I am one of them. I'd rather do something else.

OP posts:
yetanothernamechanger · 16/02/2008 22:02

I'm sorry but its got feck all to with what your drinking,its the amount of alcohol you are consuming and the quickness that you drink it.
The question you need to ask yourself is would you be happy drinking less while out or will you still be liable to cane it?

Original poster
SecretBoozeWhore · 16/02/2008 22:03

No, I mean a single pub measure, topped up to half a pint with coke. I'll struggle to get myself into a state with that, I'd explode.

OP posts:
Original poster
SecretBoozeWhore · 16/02/2008 22:06

I would be happier to drink less. I will make sure I slow the hell down. I need to. I've frightened myself.

Speed was a problem last night, and before it had occurred to me I should slow down, I was getting drinks bought for me from various people, and I do drink fast. It's too easy when someone keeps plonking them down in front of you.

OP posts:
ornamentalhaggis · 16/02/2008 22:06

An alcohol problem is defined as any loss of control over drinking. When you start, you can't stop, craving more and more. You don't have to be a daily drinker, or drink in the morning. I think you're in pretty dangerous territory to be honest, and may have to consider the possibility that abstinence is the only solution, as harsh as that may sound.