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Original poster

Genital herpes

60 replies

fedup0987 · 05/12/2022 12:39

Looking for a bit of hope I suppose.

I got diagnosed in august... I'd had an outbreak in April but didn't know what it was.

I've got a vague idea where it come from but hard to say due to the dormant/latent stages

Outbreaks have been April. August. October. And again Saturday morning. This is the first time I haven't felt shattered. I had been taking lysine and for the last week I haven't so maybe need to keep on with that.

I have three rounds of acyclovir which I haven't taken (took one dose after being given it at the clinic in august). I got some lomaherpan cream and I've also trialled using arnica on this outbreak.

Am I just going to have continuous outbreaks? Is there anything else I can do?

I know it's cold sores on my house and it's carried by two thirds of people and most don't know and all the other data out there ... but it's a huge stigma still and people are generally uneducated (I was! Thought my world was ending!)

Just looking for someone who's been in a similar situation and can offer any advice.

OP posts:
Original poster
fedup0987 · 05/12/2022 12:39

Arse not house 😂

OP posts:
Beedwoodt · 05/12/2022 12:52

I can relate as I found out I had it about a year ago. I was reasonably lucky for the first 8 months or so and actually only had one outbreak after my first which cleared within a few days. But recently I've been getting one a month or so. I think it's mainly due to stress and I know stress can put a huge strain on the body. Lysine has been found to help some people so keep up with it, maybe try taking another multivitamin supplement too if you don't already?

It sounds like you've already done your research but just try not to stress or it will likely get worse, a vicious cycle I know. Otherwise, you could speak to the doctor about taking daily antivirals if it's really getting you down, this doesn't have to be forever but just for a period of time. Also, reoccurrences should typically decrease after the first year so it's just a waiting game unfortunately!

Sending hugs as I know it can be really crappy xx

Original poster
fedup0987 · 05/12/2022 12:53

@Beedwoodt thank you for replying.

I feel like the severity is getting less and to be honest I can live with feeling crap. It's the general stigma that gets to me! I think stress could be a factor too but I put my main stress out on Friday so hoping that improves 😂

How do you Medicate?

OP posts:
WhackingPhoenix · 05/12/2022 12:55

Hello 😊 I’m a sexual health nurse so have a fair bit of experience with herpes. We say if the outbreaks are causing you psychological distress or you have more than six in a year we can offer you suppression therapy (aciclovir twice a day for around one year) then see how you go off them, but if you start getting frequent outbreaks again you can go back onto suppression.

I wouldn’t recommend arnica on the sores as it might cause further irritation; salt water rinses a few times a day and a big dollop of Vaseline should help with the symptoms.

WetBandits · 05/12/2022 12:56

fedup0987 · 05/12/2022 12:53

@Beedwoodt thank you for replying.

I feel like the severity is getting less and to be honest I can live with feeling crap. It's the general stigma that gets to me! I think stress could be a factor too but I put my main stress out on Friday so hoping that improves 😂

How do you Medicate?

Also stress and being unwell is a major factor! If you’re run down and your immune system is otherwise occupied, you might experience an outbreak x

Original poster
fedup0987 · 05/12/2022 12:56

@WetBandits do you have it too? How many outbreaks do you have?

OP posts:
WetBandits · 05/12/2022 12:57

Name change fail 😂

Original poster
fedup0987 · 05/12/2022 12:58

Haha usually me 🤦🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
WetBandits · 05/12/2022 13:05

fedup0987 · 05/12/2022 12:58

Haha usually me 🤦🏼‍♀️

😅😅

I don’t have HSV (at least I think I don’t but I could be one of the 70%!) but I see people with it every day so you have my every sympathy as I see how painful it can be Flowers

Original poster
fedup0987 · 05/12/2022 13:07

WhackingPhoenix · 05/12/2022 12:55

Hello 😊 I’m a sexual health nurse so have a fair bit of experience with herpes. We say if the outbreaks are causing you psychological distress or you have more than six in a year we can offer you suppression therapy (aciclovir twice a day for around one year) then see how you go off them, but if you start getting frequent outbreaks again you can go back onto suppression.

I wouldn’t recommend arnica on the sores as it might cause further irritation; salt water rinses a few times a day and a big dollop of Vaseline should help with the symptoms.

Thanks for the reply.

I only had one blister this time and I don't get it on my "bits" so to speak so I do feel lucky that way. It's constantly on my mind and I think it's because I'm always on the verge of an outbreak .. I get a bit of nerve pain but can live with that 😅

OP posts:
Original poster
fedup0987 · 05/12/2022 13:08

@WetBandits I'm assuming your. Sexual health worker too? When I was at the clinic the girl said she sees it at least once a week

OP posts:
Beedwoodt · 05/12/2022 13:09

fedup0987 · 05/12/2022 12:53

@Beedwoodt thank you for replying.

I feel like the severity is getting less and to be honest I can live with feeling crap. It's the general stigma that gets to me! I think stress could be a factor too but I put my main stress out on Friday so hoping that improves 😂

How do you Medicate?

At the moment I am not taking anything apart from daily lysine 1000mg and a cod liver oil supplement which I took daily anyway.

I did go on antivirals for a bit but I've just decided for now I'm going to let things run their course. My outbreaks don't bother me too much as they don't really cause pain, just a slight itch. As you say it's the social stigma that is more crushing than anything else and when I do experience outbreaks I am then reminded of this. When I went about 8 months without an OB I actually almost forgot I had it!

I'd weigh up how much it's getting to you and if natural methods aren't helping, maybe have a chat with your GP about suppression therapy.

Original poster
fedup0987 · 05/12/2022 13:11

@Beedwoodt I think it's the stigma and so many people have it but it's got a stigma like aids, except nobody will die.

Which type do you have ? Sorry a million questions.

OP posts:
WetBandits · 05/12/2022 13:11

fedup0987 · 05/12/2022 13:08

@WetBandits I'm assuming your. Sexual health worker too? When I was at the clinic the girl said she sees it at least once a week

Yep that’s me with my NC fail lol.

I’ve diagnosed two patients already today and it’s lunchtime on a Monday, it really is that common and I abhor the stigma that comes with it because it really is just a skin condition x

DisneyPrincesss · 05/12/2022 13:12

They should get less frequent as time progresses.

Have you been on the herpes viruses association website? An invaluable resource.

Beedwoodt · 05/12/2022 13:16

fedup0987 · 05/12/2022 13:11

@Beedwoodt I think it's the stigma and so many people have it but it's got a stigma like aids, except nobody will die.

Which type do you have ? Sorry a million questions.

Not at all, I know when I first found out I was very worried and stressed so feel free to ask away or even message me privately if you prefer.

I have HSV 1 which typically doesn't reoccur as much but then I've read of people who experience OBs every month! I think it's really one of those things where you can't predict how your body will react until it happens as everyone is different! Do you know what type you have?

MyHerpesName · 05/12/2022 13:23

I have it - probably picked it up in the early 80s although not diagnosed until about 15 years ago. Mine is HSV2. I also get it on my sacrum; very very rarely anywhere on my vulva. Several misdiagnoses from GPs over the years (I suspect they didn’t think of it when a naice middle aged laydee presented with a weird rash).

I very rarely get outbreaks now; if I do I know it’s because I’m fighting off another virus (thanks Covid) or I’m stressed. A couple of days and the itchy patch has gone. I have aciclovar on standby but haven't needed it since my divorce finally settled down.

I unknowingly gave it to XDH where it lay dormant for years, only erupting during our very difficult divorce. That was the one and only dick pic I’ve ever received.

I told DH about it early on in our relationship. He decided to stick with me anyway - he already got the odd cold sore and at the time there was a view that if you had HSV1 then you were less likely to pick up HSV2. We are careful if I have an outbreak but he hasn’t caught it that we know of.

I do worry that not knowing about it might mean I’ve passed it on to the children; that’s my worst nightmare. But if I have nothing has ever been mentioned by either of them.

Romantically it is awkward but the only thing you can do is speak up early on, and be vigilant. For you, it’s an incentive to lead a stress-free life and build your immune system.

One day someone will find a cure, I’m sure, and I hope it’s in my lifetime.

DisneyPrincesss · 05/12/2022 13:23

🙋‍♀️ another one with genital hsv1. I told the nurse i was annoyed that I was so distressed and they weren't taking me seriously and she told me it's just so unbelievably common, she sees it so many times a day, from teenagers to pensioners.

Original poster
fedup0987 · 05/12/2022 13:29

DisneyPrincesss · 05/12/2022 13:23

🙋‍♀️ another one with genital hsv1. I told the nurse i was annoyed that I was so distressed and they weren't taking me seriously and she told me it's just so unbelievably common, she sees it so many times a day, from teenagers to pensioners.

It really is the elephant in the room isn't it.

I was close to tears when the girl was speaking to me and also when she rang me but she seemed totally unphased. I spent a tearful weekend but I just get on with it now.

How many outbreaks do you have

OP posts:
Beedwoodt · 05/12/2022 13:29

MyHerpesName · 05/12/2022 13:23

I have it - probably picked it up in the early 80s although not diagnosed until about 15 years ago. Mine is HSV2. I also get it on my sacrum; very very rarely anywhere on my vulva. Several misdiagnoses from GPs over the years (I suspect they didn’t think of it when a naice middle aged laydee presented with a weird rash).

I very rarely get outbreaks now; if I do I know it’s because I’m fighting off another virus (thanks Covid) or I’m stressed. A couple of days and the itchy patch has gone. I have aciclovar on standby but haven't needed it since my divorce finally settled down.

I unknowingly gave it to XDH where it lay dormant for years, only erupting during our very difficult divorce. That was the one and only dick pic I’ve ever received.

I told DH about it early on in our relationship. He decided to stick with me anyway - he already got the odd cold sore and at the time there was a view that if you had HSV1 then you were less likely to pick up HSV2. We are careful if I have an outbreak but he hasn’t caught it that we know of.

I do worry that not knowing about it might mean I’ve passed it on to the children; that’s my worst nightmare. But if I have nothing has ever been mentioned by either of them.

Romantically it is awkward but the only thing you can do is speak up early on, and be vigilant. For you, it’s an incentive to lead a stress-free life and build your immune system.

One day someone will find a cure, I’m sure, and I hope it’s in my lifetime.

Just wanted to chime in here and say it's extremely unlikely that you have passed it to your children. If you haven't already, as another poster said look up the herpes virus association as this site really reassured me. It also states you cannot pass the virus through shared towels, clothing etc. Even if your kids put your knickers on your head during an OB it's just not possible. Herpes requires skin to skin contact to be passed on.

Original poster
fedup0987 · 05/12/2022 13:31

MyHerpesName · 05/12/2022 13:23

I have it - probably picked it up in the early 80s although not diagnosed until about 15 years ago. Mine is HSV2. I also get it on my sacrum; very very rarely anywhere on my vulva. Several misdiagnoses from GPs over the years (I suspect they didn’t think of it when a naice middle aged laydee presented with a weird rash).

I very rarely get outbreaks now; if I do I know it’s because I’m fighting off another virus (thanks Covid) or I’m stressed. A couple of days and the itchy patch has gone. I have aciclovar on standby but haven't needed it since my divorce finally settled down.

I unknowingly gave it to XDH where it lay dormant for years, only erupting during our very difficult divorce. That was the one and only dick pic I’ve ever received.

I told DH about it early on in our relationship. He decided to stick with me anyway - he already got the odd cold sore and at the time there was a view that if you had HSV1 then you were less likely to pick up HSV2. We are careful if I have an outbreak but he hasn’t caught it that we know of.

I do worry that not knowing about it might mean I’ve passed it on to the children; that’s my worst nightmare. But if I have nothing has ever been mentioned by either of them.

Romantically it is awkward but the only thing you can do is speak up early on, and be vigilant. For you, it’s an incentive to lead a stress-free life and build your immune system.

One day someone will find a cure, I’m sure, and I hope it’s in my lifetime.

Aw this gives me hope ❤️

I've just split with my partner and I feel upset all over again about it.

I hope there'll be a cute too 🤞🏼

OP posts:
Original poster
fedup0987 · 05/12/2022 13:38

DisneyPrincesss · 05/12/2022 13:12

They should get less frequent as time progresses.

Have you been on the herpes viruses association website? An invaluable resource.

Yes that's where I got the lomaherpan cream.

OP posts:
mumofftwo · 05/12/2022 13:38

I have it got diagnosed in March the first out break was the worst lasted for weeks but I did wait 10 days to go and see someone about it

DisneyPrincesss · 05/12/2022 13:41

fedup0987 · 05/12/2022 13:29

It really is the elephant in the room isn't it.

I was close to tears when the girl was speaking to me and also when she rang me but she seemed totally unphased. I spent a tearful weekend but I just get on with it now.

How many outbreaks do you have

Show quote history

I caught it in July 2020. I left a loveless sexless marriage and tbh acted quite irresponsibly. So i carried a lot of shame and guilt about it. As well as thinking that I'd never meet someone else as a result.

I didn't have another outbreak until September 2021, then April 2022. Both very minor. I use lemon balm salve as recommended on the herpes viruses association website.

I met someone new in October 2021. Disclosed to him very early on before we had sex, told him i could answer any questions and directed him to hva website. He had a read, decided that at 40 he was basically as likely to meet someone with it as not, and it wasn't an issue at all. He was also more likely to carry hsv1 already and just not know about it than not. He hasn't caught it that we know of and we don't use condoms.

The key to me in terms of disclosing is to not act like it's a massive deal, because it genuinely isn't.

HIVpos · 05/12/2022 13:46

fedup0987 · 05/12/2022 13:11

@Beedwoodt I think it's the stigma and so many people have it but it's got a stigma like aids, except nobody will die.

Which type do you have ? Sorry a million questions.

Yes there can be a stigma around having HIV/AIDS. However just to clarify that in the UK HIV is very well treated with effective meds nowadays where it can't be passed on to any partners and with normal life expectancy. Even when diagnosed with HIV really late it can be treated.

It's amazing what we learn when we contract something that impacts us. I have a couple of friends who were diagnosed with genital herpes and although a shock to them it hasn't impacted on them after the first period of outbreaks. As mentioned stress can cause them and I hope you have fewer outbreaks as time goes on helped by your treatment.