DH has had a stroke

[SunnyNights]

DH is late forties, non smoker, doesn’t drink, healthy (ish) weight and an MRI has confirmed he had a stroke following an episode two days ago.

We are in total shock and I’m putting a brave face on for him but am very scared about him having another one and it being worse. He’s lucky in that although the stroke can been seen on the MRI, he doesn’t have any lasting effects - no vision or mobility issues at all.

They will now investigate what caused the stroke. He’s had a chest scan, and will have heart monitoring also. He’s also on medication for life, blood thinners and statins.

We have two children, at senior school and haven’t yet told them it was a stroke but we will today as they need to know in case it happens again. He can’t drive for a month and is signed off for four weeks. I won’t be leaving him alone for a while.

Has anyone else has this happen to a loved one in their forties’? What could the causes be? Should he make a living will?

Bless you op must be terrifying but you totally did the right thing taking him in asap

my MiL had similar incident when she was about 50. In her case her speech has been affected slightly but it’s not a big deal at all. Anyway she was put on medication for life but now at 78 no further issues and is leading a very full and active life.

a will is a good idea anyway.

Sorry to hear that.
i hope that he makes a full recovery.
i do know a couple of people who’ve had strokes at a young age but they were much more severe ones than your DH.
Definitely plan for all eventualities finance and health wise. We also need to put POAs in place for each other (we are in our 50s). There are some terrible health history on my side especially.

My dad had a series of TIAs about 7 years ago, early 60s. He’s never had it happen again and is a very strong builder way past retirement age. He did have to have surgery to fit a stent but recovery was quick and he’s fine now. He took it as a wake up call to take better care of himself. Wishing you and your family all the best.

My DH had a stroke in June. He is 38 and turns out he was having a blood pressure crisis (220/136!) Rushed to hospital for CT, then rushed to Bristol in case he needed surgery. 11 days in hospital. He went self employed in Spring time so couldn't take time off work. At the time out baby girl was just 6 weeks old, and we have a 7 year old DS. Luckily it was half term so I didn't have to get him to school! I explained the stroke to DS by saying daddy had some blood on his brain that shouldn't be there. The health management since the stroke has been great - regular appointments and monitoring. I am on edge constantly worrying if he will have another one. I need to really look into wills etc although I am lucky to have great family support locally x

My mum had a stroke at 45. Undiagnosed high blood pressure caused a aneurysm to burst, causing catastrophic bleeding. She's 76 in two weeks time and doing well.

At the time they didn't think she'd survive, but she has and is fairly unscathed by it all. She had surgery to clip the aneurysm, probably 3 weeks after the stroke - she was in a coma for 10 days, and in total had six months in hospital. If you look closely her face has dropped a little on the left hand side and her social skills are wildly different to how they were. She has no filter any more!

I'm not sure what your DHs medical team have said but in my mum's case the risk of another stroke was highest during the first few days, gradually diminishing. She's on BP medication and has to be careful about her weight.

I'd agree that POA is a good idea to have in place - my DH and I have this on our list to do while we're still healthy.

I hope your DH continues to improve, wishing you all the very best.

I had one in my 40s never ever smoked, just occasional drinker. Have some damage but not obvious to others.

Ultimately after every test carried out the conclusion was slightly sticky blood and I had a migraine. One of the things that happens when you have a migraine is that your blood vessels narrow.

Blood thinners and statins for life and avoid anything that may trigger me getting a migraine.

Occasionally I do have horrible thoughts that I may have another one and not be as lucky, and the odd migraine I've had is anxiety inducing.

It was far worse for my DH than me especially when I was in hospital and my texts were nonsense and when I phoned I was difficult to understand.

Gosh @MrsT84 that sounds very stressful, with a young baby as well.

Our two are 11 and 13 so old enough to sort themselves out a bit but with the worry of them googling and getting scared.

@SedentaryCat yes I have heard that the first 72 hours are important. We are on hour 50 now, not that I'm counting...

Will definitely get the POA sorted on Monday.

Also have a 23 year old DD who has been a fantastic help with her brothers.

A poa only comes into force if your dh loses capacity amd would allow you to make decisions on his behalf. It DOESNT lay out his wishes if is Health deteriorates. What you need is an Anticipatory Care Plan - which he will discuss and agree with a health professional.

My friend's DH (a super fit sports instructor, living a healthy lifestyle) had a stroke 5 years ago. Eventually linked to a previously undiagnosed hole in his heart (no previous symptoms despite having it since childhood). He recovered fine from the stroke but opted to have the surgery to repair the hole (NHS deemed it unnecessary). He has had no ill effects and is still a fitness instructor.

Complete the power of attorney documents - they are online, though as spouse you have lots of the rights already. If he has separate bank accounts definitely get all the details together and also life assurance policies. It's wise for everyone by the way!

I had a mini stroke in 2018, which would have made me 46 when it happened.

I had about 2 months off work and then went back, but took it very easy, it helped that my job is home based, when I don't travel.

I'm on medication now (blood pressure tablets, etc) and it was a frightening experience. I'm sure mine was caused by huge amounts of stress from work. I have no visible side effects at all. My memory isn't a 100% what it was, as I can forget things quite easily. I just have to write things down now. If I need to remember to put the oven on at a certain time, I just set a reminder on my phone.

Sending you strength. It truly is an awful time and, even now 30 years on, reading your message took me right back there.

Hope the next few days are kind to you and that you find the cause so that it can be treated.

Clopidogrel is an antiplatelet drug - not an anticoagulant. Both antiplatelet and anticoagulant drugs fall under the colloquial umbrella of "blood thinning" medication.

Oh, thank you @inigomontoyahwillcox. I stand corrected.
DH is prone to nosebleeds, and he had one the other day. It looked like a murder scene, probably due to the clopidogrel.

No worries. Your poor DH (and the washing machine) - those nosebleeds sound biblical.

I was on Rivaroxaban (an anticoagulant) for a few months and my periods were like something out of Carrie!

The Stroke Association has lots of useful support and information

www.stroke.org.uk/

Sending strength and prayers 🙏🏽☘️ I had a stroke in similar circumstances in Feb - presented to Eye clinic A&E in L’pool as I thought it was a brain tumour ( family history) but it was a stroke - they were very proactive CT MRI scans etc - now on meds and thanking God for my recovery - as a previous poster pointed out the post stroke fatigue is quite hard to get used to ☹️ I would contact the Stroke Association- the have been an enormous support psychologically and practically - 🙏🏽

Thank you all for the messages of support and personal stories. It's really helped and I feel a lot brighter than I did first thing this morning.

DH is up and about, now drinking tea and I feel calmer that he's awake and looks fine.

Will definitely look at the Stroke Association website. I like to get all the information, good or bad, so I can prepare as needed.

Have told the boys, took it fine on the whole with the eldest saying 'I knew it wasn't just a migraine!', kids know stuff without us even telling them sometimes despite us trying to act very normal yesterday.

You've already increased his chances of living longer by the fact he's had a transient ischaemic episode and is not being investigated and started on medication. A much better scenario than one big stroke out of the blue.

Now

I didn't find the Stroke Association or the local team particularly helpful because my stroke had relatively mild affects (memory, exhaustion, dysphasia).

Everyone tells you to rest which conflicts with the most recovery occurs in the first week so get those new neurones connecting 🤷🏽‍♀️

Longer term it is the fatigue that is the worst plus having an awful short term memory. Crossing the road remains more of a challenge than pre-stroke have to remember to look and think consciously.

I thought I'd mention that after my dad had his stroke at 42, it seemed to change the balance of my parents' relationship.

I was 16, so observing only, but it seemed to me that before the stroke Dad had been "in charge" and the boss really, but afterwards that was no longer the case and Mum made more of the decisions etc.

Also although he is very well now 30 years on, I felt like it took away the last of his youth. Recovery took quite a long time even after his 6-months off work and probably because of the mental impacts others have mentioned he became a bit of an old man very early. That's fine now he's over 70 but there was definitely a change I saw after his stroke.