if you have had counselling how helpful was it?

[queenrollo]

after my anxiety attack the other day i went to my gp who has given me a prescription of amitriptyline 10mg. i'm still feeling on edge, although managing not to go into a full blown attack.
my gp agreed that the stress of the last few months finally caught up with me. having spoken to a friend over the weekend, i feel like there are some pretty big issues that i've just not dealt with, and i'm feeling increasingly anxious that it's because i simply don't know how to deal with them. this is starting to affect my new relationship as i have an overiding fear that i don't love this man, when in my rational moments i know i do.
i have to go back to my GP in ten days time to review my meds but i feel that maybe i should ask for a referral for counselling. i'm scared of the process of counselling, but i feel like i really need some outside help or my life will be governed by these feelings.
i guess i'm looking for reassurance that counselling will help me find a way to get my life back. before the anxiety attack i was happy and so in love, and i just want to get back to feeling that way again.

Bump.
I haven't had counselling myself but several of my friends had found it very useful.
I'm sure it would be helpful to talk to a trained counsellor about your panic atttacks.

Yes, and very (helped me enormously, over time). I had loads of relationship issues - and can relate to what you're saying. Its always scary opening a can of emotional worms, hats off to you for having the courage to want to start the process...IME, its been more than worth it. Wishing you loads of luck, and hope you find a good counsellor if you choose to go ahead

thankyou ArcticRoll and Elibean.......i have spoken to a friend who has some basic training, and has been through counselling herself and she agrees it would be helpful to me, so i'm going to ask my gp for a referral this week......

I've had mixed results so its important that you are really happy with the counsellor you are given. I know its difficult on the nhs but a bad counsellor can cause awful problems and I'd say its better to wait for a good one. A good one can really help you change your life and is worth all the gold in the world.

Make sure that if you do go for one on the nhs that you know how many sessions you are entitled to and that your counsellor knows which problems you want to sort out. If its the limited 6-8 sessions you dont want to start tackling everything otherwise when it comes to an end you could end up in a pickle. A good counsellor will guide you through this well.

well i'll see what the waiting list is like here for counselling. at some point in the next month i will be getting my settlement from my seperation and i think it would be money well spent to go private if needs be.

I've found counselling extremely helpful in dealing with a whole range of really deep seated issues that were leading to me getting quite ill with ME type symptoms. I also had a sort of panic attack once at this time. I found anti-depressants really helpful at lifting me out of the illness but then had to deal with the underlying issues. I got referred to a counsellor on the NHS after I had an ectopic pregnancy and found it very hard to deal with, but i decided to stop seeing her after one session as I didn't click with her and found the session very frustrating. I also felt that 6-8 sessions probably wouldn't be enough. Anyway, I ended up going private on a recommendation and knew within one session that I had found the right person. In retrospect I also wanted something quite directive - someone who would go 'digging' and challenging me - and the woman I see is a psychotherapist with 'transactional analysis' training, rather than a 'person centred' counsellor. I found that the person centred approach was a bit too vague for me. Anyway, I'm rabbiting on, but my main message is find the right person for your needs and it really is worth it (if often hard and scary work) if you do. Good luck! Happy to chat more about this if you want...

thankyou for that lilysma......my new bloke has had counselling and said it helped him. i think one of the things i'm scared of is that i'll discover i don't really love him and the fallout that will cause.
i'm very anxious this morning, as i have to take my son back to his daddy's and i'm finding it increasingly hard to deal with this situation. i'm trying very hard to stay calm as i don't want my ex to know how i feel, but i may have to ask him to collect ds as i feel too on edge at the moment to drive

Queenrollo, good for you starting to get things sorted.

I needed counselling a couple of years ago. I also went private - through my surgery I would've had to wait 8-10 weeks. I found the websites of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy to be very helpful in finding someone, but I also spent time with the Yellow Pages. My criteria were that I wanted someone with a PhD (so I knew they weren't a flake who just woke up one morning and decided to call themselves a counsellor); they had to be registered wutg tge BACP; and.. damn, can't remember what else. Sorry.

The first therapist I saw was an utter and total tosser. Was so desperate, though, that I went twice - and am STILL sorry I gave him any money at all. Second person I saw was, unbelievably, worse! At least I realised what an idiot she was before going back (phew!).

However the 3rd person I saw was completely fabulous. She made me think, and think HARD, about a lot of issues - and was also the first person to say, "Yep, you're having a really rubbish time, I bet you're depressed!" Make sure you look for someone who has the humanity to be compassionate and the training to be rigorous with you. It can really be a blessing, but take your time to find someone who works for you. Don't think that just anyone will do. Stick with your instincts about what's best for you, and good luck!!

I would agree with lilysma re the 'person centred' counselling - I had one of those and found it a waste of time.

If you feel you want to dig deep and go into your earliest relationships, I would endeavour to find a psychodynamic counsellor, rather than CBT which can be very effective but is more about changing patterns of behaviour without too much delving IYSWIM.

Definitely only go to someone BACP accredited, and be prepared to see a few until you find someone who's right for you.

would second what turqoise and phdlifeneedsanewlife say. Not sure a PhD is necessary, but definitely proper quals and experience and BACP registered. I think CBT can be helpful once you have identified and started to deal with the deep roots of why you think in certain ways. I am doing more CBT type work with the same counsellor now, having done the delving into my childhood stuff, which is important, but you have to move on from it IYSWIM. Hope your ex has picked up your son and you're feeling a bit less panicky. We need a 'sympathy' emoticon!

Phd totally unnecessary qual to request from a psychotherapist/ counsellor. To be registered with the BACP you need to have
a) completed full counsellor training (course I'm doing is 4 years) and

b)are constantly undergoing CPD (continued professional development) and

c) under supervision so the counsellor discusses their caseload, ensuring safety and ethical practice.

If you don't like/ respect or have any issues with your counsellor though, it won't work but give it a couple of sessions to make sure. If they feel that they are not right for you then they should ask you if you would like to be referred.

Read up on the different types of counselling first to see which you think might help you best - from what you've said I would think Cognitive Behavioural integrated with Person centred but am only training at the moment so not an expert.

I have had counselling twice. The first was useless, the second was briliant.
It comes down to their personality, and they training, to match yours - there are many different kinds/schools of conselling, aren't there ? You just need to find one/someone that suits you.
Easier said than done.

I don't think PersonCentred works well on its own personally but is a good integrative method for ensuring people feel comfortable.

TA is excellent but depends what type of thing you need, better for sussing out relationship issues I think - anxiety is best with CBT to the best of my knowledge.

i agree with bad kitten and oblomov, it all depends on the councelor, ive had 4 different ones and the last one helped me quite a lot but the other 3 where useless, ulitamately they help u to retrain your brain and learn how to deal with anxious feelings etc etc

Agree to go through BACP AND or UKCP. UKCP training is more rigorous.

Also absolutely agree that you should feel a click. counselling and psychotherapy are hard work, you need to be able to feel that in time you could trust the person in front of you. Keep looking around until you find that.

thankyou for your advice so far everyone. i have a gp appt tomorrow so will ask about a referral but i do think i will end up going private, because i'm pretty sure the waiting list here is quite long.
i have found two counsellors in my area, one of whom seems to be well qualified in many areas of counselling, the other not such a wide range of experience but she does specialise in anxiety issues.
i'll see what my gp says tomorrow.
i'll be taking my son back to his daddy's, as i feel better now. i'm making notes and my anxiety is worse early morning and about 9pm so i need to distract myself at these times.

queenrollo whereabouts are you?

i'm in linconlshire....just spoken to my sister who said she only had to wait two weeks, which is better than i had thought, but i'll see what my gp says.

two weeks is good.

might as well try that as it's free, with a critical view: if it doesn't work don't let it put you off, you've lost a little time but nothing else, and try and get a recommendation for someone privately.

Sorry for hijack.

Sophable my GP was distinctly less than forthcoming. A 6month waiting list and apparently then it is with a psychiatric nurse? Doesn't sound right to me. She then gave me a list of charities who do means tested counselling 30 miles away and I feel really defeated by this.

It was hard enough for me to ask for it in the first place now I just feel lost.

where are you icarus? it is a real lottery. can you afford private? if not, you need for find agencies that offer low cost, there are usually some in the area.

a good bet would be to get in touch with an accredited training organisation - they will put you in touch with recently qualified psychotherapists, often fresher and more in touch with latest research tbh...and sometimes cheaper.

I am in Scotland Sophable. I think I can afford private if I give up my cleaner. How much is it roughly a session?

There seem to a couple in West Lothian near me and quite a few in Edinburgh. I looked at that ukcp link and a lot of the Edinburgh ones mention Gestalt? TBH I have no idea what they mean by type of therapist and am reluctant to go into loads of detail for endless phonecalss with the dds yelling in the background.

I wonder if the edinburgh gestalt org would be able to put me in touch with a newly qualified one. hmmm

gestalt psychotherapy broadly (and i'm sure there will be someone on here who'll come and put me straight) conceptualises mental ill health as an interruption to the 'gestalt' the cycle. sounds airy fairy but makes a lot of sense: bereavement, loss, trauma all things that most of us have suffered whether we recognise them as such or not interrupt the natural flow and can only be got through one the cycle has been completed. if you have suffered a loss, you become stuck in that loss unless you can go through the greif of it and reconcile yourself in someway with it.

gestalt therapists work a lot with the 'here and now' they will work with what is happening in the room, and that is a crucial kind of work.

honestly and truthfully, all the research would suggest that the model of therapy is not the crucial factor: it is the quality of the relationship that you have with your therapist that actually makes the difference, hence me banging on about clicking with your therapist on threads like this.

the best advice i can give sounds the most trite: spend at least as much effort on finding a therapist as (a person that gives a sh*t about their hair) you would if you were choosing a hairdresser: go by personal recommendation where at all possible, not out the phone book or equivalent! if it feels not useful don't continue. be aware though that therapy will feel uncomfortable, but most people can tell the difference between feeling uncomfortable because someone is really getting close to some core stuff, or just feeling left cold, or worse misunderstood by the therapist.

you know, EVERY model has fantastic therapists working in it who make enormous differences to their clients. and every model has bag of aulde shysters working in it...best best way around this is the same as in any walk of life: word of mouth and personal recommendation. that includes speaking to someone at a local training institution and asking for someone 'really great'!

sorry for banging on.

Sophable - really really thank you v much. I am unaccustomed to being in the dark tbh and it raises it's own issues.

Soph - are you a qualified counsellor then, training or just experienced in a related field?

Gestalt is very useful for bereavement or unreconciled issues of any description.