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Original poster

if you have had counselling how helpful was it?

39 replies

queenrollo · 13/01/2008 18:17

after my anxiety attack the other day i went to my gp who has given me a prescription of amitriptyline 10mg. i'm still feeling on edge, although managing not to go into a full blown attack.
my gp agreed that the stress of the last few months finally caught up with me. having spoken to a friend over the weekend, i feel like there are some pretty big issues that i've just not dealt with, and i'm feeling increasingly anxious that it's because i simply don't know how to deal with them. this is starting to affect my new relationship as i have an overiding fear that i don't love this man, when in my rational moments i know i do.
i have to go back to my GP in ten days time to review my meds but i feel that maybe i should ask for a referral for counselling. i'm scared of the process of counselling, but i feel like i really need some outside help or my life will be governed by these feelings.
i guess i'm looking for reassurance that counselling will help me find a way to get my life back. before the anxiety attack i was happy and so in love, and i just want to get back to feeling that way again.

OP posts:

yurt1 · 15/01/2008 09:01

Agree about finding the right person. I had 6 months of over the phone counselling (once a month) with someone in the States last year. I found it incredibly helpful. The reason she was so good? She has many years of experience with autism, both working with families and hands on with the children. I didn't want to talk about my childhood, I needed to talk through how ds1's autism affects our relationships & our daily life- so having someone who understood the impact autism has on us was essential.

So do find the right person- ask around, but also consider what you want/need from a counsellor as it might be something different from a friend's needs iyswim. If you can find the right person for you then I think it can be really helpful.

anniebear · 15/01/2008 11:19

Yurt

How was it when you stopped the counselling though?

thats what worries me (Im just waiting for an appointment) that when the counselling stops, the problems are all still there and what we have been through with DD will still be there

Thanks

yurt1 · 15/01/2008 11:35

Ah the problems are the same, but I see them differently.

For instance we have one particular family relationship problem with a member of our extended family. I found this incredibly difficult to deal with. Over the 6 months I spent over 2 hours going through it all with the counsellor and she really really helped. Her understanding of ds1's disability - and others reactions to that was utterly essential though. I don't think a general counsellor could have helped. She's also helped me to deal with the 'we're not like other families'/isolation/unable to do the things that others do. So although the situation has changed, my views about it haven't.

I honestly didn't know I needed counselling- I had it as part of a programme we were doing with ds1- but my god it was a right unravelling, and it has really helped.

I can also go back for one off sessions whenever I want, and we have a very stressful family visit coming up (stressful for all sorts of autism related issues) and I think I'm going to ask her for 1 or 2 sessions before we go. Hmmm might go and book those now. She's not cheap (not sure how much counselling is in the UK, but she works out at 50ish quid an hour) but for her experience in SN I think its worth it. To have someone who 'gets it'.

yurt1 · 15/01/2008 11:36

erm no that's wrong- although the situation hasn't changed, my views about it have! I meant.

anniebear · 15/01/2008 11:37

Thanks

I am having it through the Meningitis Trust, so she has experience with people like me lol!

yurt1 · 15/01/2008 11:38

Oh that's good- that's really helpful - sounds ideal and I'm sure you'll find it a great help....

anniebear · 15/01/2008 11:39

Its ok, I knew what you meant

Sunshinemummy · 15/01/2008 11:41

I had counselling when I was 21, three years after my mum died. I found it very helpful, it really assisted me in working through my feelings, but tbh I think I just needed someone to talk to as everyone was so fightened of upsetting me that they would clam up when I mentioned her. It didn't help that I moved area a month after she died so had no long-standing friends who'd been through her illness.

I would really reiterate Sphoable's comments. I went through three counsellors before I found one that suited me. One in particular did not seem to be able to grasp why I was so down about things and was quite dismissive about how I felt. When I found the right person I found I only needed three months worth of sessions before I started to come out the other side.

Hopet his helps. Good luck.

anniebear · 15/01/2008 11:42

Just wish I had gone and done it sooner

yurt1 · 15/01/2008 11:44

I felt like that after it Annie. My counsellor was quite challenging -especially with the 'why does it matter to you if people don't get it' which was an interesting one, but I found that helpful. It's great the meningitis trust offers that - the NAS should too!

hellobellosback · 15/01/2008 11:50

anniebear, you'll be alright! Sometimes it helps to be able to look at something in a different light. You'll be looked after!

Original poster

queenrollo · 15/01/2008 11:52

well it appears there is at least a 4 month waiting list here at the moment, and i can be bumped down the list if someone else is considered higher need than me.......i mentioned going private to my GP and he said he wasn't aware of anyone who did it locally, but i have found two who are a 30 min drive and several who are about an hour away. now i just have to find the right one for me.

OP posts:

anniebear · 15/01/2008 12:04

Thanks

queenrollo, ours is similar, a 5 month waiting list! silly isnt it

pagwatch · 15/01/2008 12:25

I am having counselling at the moment and it is really helping.
I havd developed all sorts of completely illogical anxieties - for example I couldn't get in the car because I would convince myself that i would get lost. I started getting really anxious about anything new. I was also completely obsessed with buying my daughter clothing and she had two bursting wardrobes. I have understanding DH but it was so out of control.
I found a therapist I liked by having sessions with three that sounded ok and i picked the one I 'clicked' with.
Funnily enough most of it tied up with my sons ASD [doh emoticon].And abuse when I was young [double doh]
I have stopped buying clothes full stop and actually selling on ebay and I am using the car a couple of times a week. Much less scared about 'stuff' and the children are benefiting enormously.
Try it - but make sure you feel really comfortable with your therapist/counsellor or stop and find a new one

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