OH heaving over my smell! Postpartum

[namechangeyrachy]

Slightly embarrassing but I feel so crap about it so I'm here to rant and have namechanged.

I'm coming up to 4 weeks post partum now, my bleeding has stopped but has turned into a yucky discharge apologies if TMI!

Anyhoo OH wanted a bit of foreplay last night and we was in the mood and I completely forgot about it. And of course it ended in 2 seconds with him being grossed out by the smell.

He's not stopped going on about, I've stripped the beds wiped everything down put the rubbish in the outdoor bins and he is still saying he can smell it. He said to me don't ever do that again and took all his pillows and went downstairs.

I appreciate its gross, but the heaving and everything else just made me feel so embarrassed.

He wanted to have sex and I told him no I'm waiting until 6 weeks, so I only done it to please him anyway as I couldn't give a toss with how sleep deprived I am at the moment.

What an a hole x

Sorry OP - your husband really shouldn’t be behaving like that at all. I hope you’re ok. It sounds like you could have an infection but it might also be BV (I don’t think this is an infection, just an overgrowth of yeasts - someone more knowledgeable will come along I’m sure!). Bacterial Vaginosis is really easily treated - the gynaecologist I saw after my first baby recommended these and it cleared up so quickly and the smell (quite strong and fishy smelling) and discharge (yellowy white) cleared up really fast.

BV pessaries

💐

What an utter shit he is! Wanting sex when you're less than 4 weeks PP is bad enough, but then to shame and humiliate you for a smell that is caused by the aftermath of birthing his child is just unspeakable.

That would have made my fanny slam shut tbh, and it'd be a long time before he got near it again.

Glad you're going to the doc's OP and hope it gets sorted.

Right, so having created a human being and pushed it out of your body less than a month ago, your partner is dissatisfied because your vulva and vagina don't meet his requirements, and you are not fulfilling your duty as a provider of sexual services? So he says "Don't ever do that again" like you're a misbehaving employee?

He's the one who should be hearing "Don't ever do that again". Someone should tell him that he shouldn't:

• pressure his partner into sex before she's ready


• shame his partner about her body


• ignore his partner's potential medical issue to focus on his own desires


• pressure his exhausted partner to do unnecessary housework


• leave his exhausted partner to do the housework on her own


• behave with indifference toward his partner's emotional distress


• punish his partner with calculated rejection when she doesn't meet all his wishes


• issue instructions ("Don't ever do that again") about your body, which is yours and not his.

Tell him he's way out of line and that he can stay on the sofa until he's ready to apologise.

And if you're scared to do that, or don't feel comfortable standing up to him over this, then ask yourself why you don't feel able to stand up to him, and check out the Freedom Programme to learn about emotional abuse.

He has just came up and asked me if I want anything basically his half hearted apology! He's not a bad husband he is good in other ways. But sometimes I find he can just be an absolute selfish arsehole and not think about what he says.

Bless you. Hopefully a doctor or nurse practitioner will physically see you to check your wound and prescribe the relevant medication.

I would say 99.9 of toddlers
have more empathy and emotional intelligence than this awful man.

OP I am furious for you. Your husband is a really horrible man.

Antibios / GP advice will sort you out hopefully.

Then you can take some time to think about how to deal with the bellend husband.

Don’t be embarrassed and congratulations on your baby.

This has made me so upset!
You're not even 6 weeks pp and your partner has been pressuring for sex, and then has made you feel like rubbish for the way you smell!

OP, just to be sure, have you checked to see if you have any infection either in any stitches/tears you've had, or in any c section scar?

I would look at your future with this man. If this were my husband, I know for sure I'd have been making plans to leave him in the near future if he'd made me feel disgusting when you're so vulnerable and tired. X

He has just came up and asked me if I want anything basically his half hearted apology!

I hope you have explained to him just how SHIT he made you feel about yourself, and that he shouldn't be pressuring you into sex EVER. Let alone four weeks after having a baby.

OP, is what ways is he good?

She’s not set him up to fail.

He pressurised her into sex when she said no. She is not at fault in any way.

@Creative34

your post is unbelievably awful. I've reported it.

@namechangeyrachy

How are you now? Did you see the doctor?

Hope all went well at the docs OP