OH heaving over my smell! Postpartum

[namechangeyrachy]

Slightly embarrassing but I feel so crap about it so I'm here to rant and have namechanged.

I'm coming up to 4 weeks post partum now, my bleeding has stopped but has turned into a yucky discharge apologies if TMI!

Anyhoo OH wanted a bit of foreplay last night and we was in the mood and I completely forgot about it. And of course it ended in 2 seconds with him being grossed out by the smell.

He's not stopped going on about, I've stripped the beds wiped everything down put the rubbish in the outdoor bins and he is still saying he can smell it. He said to me don't ever do that again and took all his pillows and went downstairs.

I appreciate its gross, but the heaving and everything else just made me feel so embarrassed.

He wanted to have sex and I told him no I'm waiting until 6 weeks, so I only done it to please him anyway as I couldn't give a toss with how sleep deprived I am at the moment.

What an arsehole he is. I am so sorry your partner is so immature and unkind. I couldn't be with someone like that.

agreed . why do people or men rather think its ok and acceptable to treat their partners like shit ? its about time women started dumping these wankers so they can be on their own like they deserve to be

I’ve just seen upthread that you’re concerned it may be an infection. Of course, this is always a possibility so close after childbirth so absolutely get yourself to the gp and I do hope that all goes well in that respect. Sorry you’re going through this OP but congratulations on your new addition 😊💐

God Almighty.

This is a shocking post.

OP, you poor thing. Please prioritise getting yourself checked out, it does sound like an infection.

Also, while there aren't hard & fast rules around when to resume sex post partum, it's usually recommended to wait 6 weeks until everything is healed & you're recovered.

I'm really concerned you were only engaging in sexual activity to please him & not because you wanted to.

He's abusive.

Please talk to someone you trust in real life.

Good luck today 💐

"Dont ever do that again"

Hold him to that sentence. Not sure if this is your first baby or not, but he should be giving you love and understanding, not humiliating you and shaming you into deep cleaning your house 4 weeks after giving birth. He also shouldnt be putting any pressure whatsoever on you to have sex after giving birth, you need time to heal and recover and it should be led with you. Hope it goes well with the GP x

I'm in tears reading these messages I was so scared to post because of the embarrassment. Thank you all so much for being kind.

I'm normally quite a strong girl but this has really upset me and he has just made me feel gross.

Xx

I’m furious for you! What an awful thing to do to someone. You should feel really angry and really upset with him. Don’t feel embarrassed for a single second.

As everyone is saying, he's vile!

But do get checked, just in case of infection.

You are not gross.

You poor thing. He is a terrible human being.

For today, focus on your health & getting this sorted.

Then please look for support as I'm concerned about you with such a man & having a newborn.

Is he normally like this OP? Because this is really horrible behaviour- he’s pressured you into sex before you’re ready, made a big deal about how you smell without being AT ALL concerned for your welfare and didn’t even help when you stripped the beds. That’s appalling and I suspect it may be part of a pattern of behaviour where he tries to make you feel bad about yourself?

You poor thing!
What an arsehole. Why is he pestering you for sex so soon and before you feel ready? Is that all he thinks of you?

Only one person here is disgusting, and it’s not you. He has no respect for you. Have a very serious think about your relationship.

Your OH is an immature prick

I'm shocked too.
This 'man' saw first hand ( and recently!) the trauma your body goes through in order to create your child.
An acceptable response would have been ' darling, something doesn't smell quite right- I think you should see your doctor or call your health visitor'. He should be concerned, and caring. Not acting like a bloody toddler

I’m glad you are getting the help you need.

What a heartbreaking post. Your husband is an absolute megashit. I hope one day you will be able to leave him. You deserve so much better

I'm so sorry your were treated in this way by the very person who should be most attentive to your needs at this time.

You are particularly vulnerable right now, so it's not easy to make big life decisions, but unless he is perfect in every other way, has never treated you cruelly and comes begging your forgiveness, this is really not a man who deserves you. I fear you know where this is going, but it's ok if you can't act now - think about what you'll need to be independent of him, protect your financial stability and keep your eyes very open.

And enjoy that tiny new baby of yours !

Sending you a big hug. I can only imagine how I'd have felt four weeks post partum if my husband treated me like this.

Is he generally this horrible?

Make sure you tell your DH how disgusting his reaction to you and lack of support for you is.

He said to me don't ever do that again

what an utter prick. Like you control it.

That’s absolutely vile - him, not you. Certainly get checked out if there is a funky smell going on that could be an infection, but you’ve got nothing to be embarrassed about, he should hang his head in embarrassment for being such an immature prick.

He is the one who should be embarassed. What a piece of shit he is.

I hope you'll be okay soon healthwise. And once you lose that 200 pounds of asshole you and your child will be much better off mentally.

So he realised something was wrong because he smelled it, and instead of "omg babe we need to get you some help" and then start organising things so that you get rest and cover to go to the drs, he had a tantrum because he didn't get his shag and threw insults at you!

Unbelievable!!!!

And that's not even taking into account that you were about to have sex even though YOU DIDNT WANT TO! It was months before I felt able to! You say NO and he should not ask again.

Op please find some support and talk this through with a real life person. Do you have a sure start nearby, I find them quite good.

His reaction was a bit OTT, he needs to grow up.

do get checked out with the GP, I had an infection after having dd1 and the smell was awful, I had some retained placenta as the placenta didn’t come out in one piece, luckily with some antibiotics everything was ok and I didn’t have to have a D&C.

I've stripped the beds wiped everything down put the rubbish in the outdoor bins and he is still saying he can smell it.

I assume he just sat and watched you do all this? After humiliating you? What a tosser.

Please seek medical advice though in case it is an infection.

He should have also respected the 6-week wait post-partum to make sure you are healed and safe! Honestly this would be the beginning of the end for me. He is just selfish.