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Original poster

Referred for suspected breast cancer - terrified

27 replies

OutbackQueen · 26/04/2022 05:57

My GP suspects I might have inflammatory breast cancer (this type has a poor prognosis) and has referred me on the two week wait pathway. I’m terrified and trying to keep it all together. AIBU to expect my partner of 6 months to support me? It’s not that long but he’s very committed and I know he loves me. I could really do with him being there for me through this but wonder if it’s too much....

OP posts:
Sweepingeyelashes · 26/04/2022 06:24

I hope that it's a false alarm. I think I would expect my partner - even of 6 months - to support you. I hope he does though he will probably be shocked at first (as no doubt you were when the doctor referred you).

Original poster
OutbackQueen · 26/04/2022 06:27

Thank you @Sweepingeyelashes. It’s the waiting that’s going to be hard and I suffer from anxiety anyway. I will tell him and try my very best not to fall apart on him.

OP posts:
carefullycourageous · 26/04/2022 06:30

Firstly I really hope you get a good result.

Secondly, this is how you see if he is worth it. You didn't plan this, it might be 'too early' but it has happened - if he's useless, at least you won't have wasted years and then find out.

Stop worrying about him, focus on yourself.

Billandben444 · 26/04/2022 07:09

I hope you are feeling ok and that your fears are unfounded.
I'm on the same journey but a bit further along, referred on the 2-week pathway, had hospi appt with mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy (doesn't hurt, honestly) and then the journey has stalled a bit. The breast clinic only operates Mondays and Fridays, bank holidays have meant my next appointment is in 2 weeks time which will be 25 days after the biopsy. My thinking is that if it was bad then they'd have squeezed me in sooner but the waiting isn't easy.
As for the boyfriend, concentrate on getting your head round it all and share with him when you need to - if he's a keeper then he'll jump in to support you but if he's panicked by it all.... well, I'd sooner find out early on rather than be dumped when it gets tougher. Have you got a close family member who'll be there 24/7 for you as well? I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you and anyone else reading this thread in the same position 💐

Original poster
OutbackQueen · 26/04/2022 07:58

Fingers all crossed for you @Billandben444. Do you find anything helps with the waiting? I live alone with 22 year old DD in another town but she’ll be coming home in the summer. Won’t be telling her too much yet though.

OP posts:
DurhamDurham · 26/04/2022 08:30

Hi I had a GP appt last Friday and I'm now waiting for an appt at the Breast Clinic. I don't have a lump but I do have dimpling. I agree it's the waiting that's the hardest. That and trying not to Google because no good comes from that.
I swing from thinking it's all fine to gearing the worst.

Hope you're ok and it all turns out fine, like you, I won't be saying anything to my daughters unless there's anything to tell them, no point worrying them for nothing.
Hope your partner is there to support you through it, if not then he's not the right one for you and hopefully family and friends will be a great support.

Good luck Flowers

DurhamDurham · 26/04/2022 08:31

@Billandben444 25 days after the biopsy is an awful long wait, hope it's good news when you get to your next appointment Flowers

Billandben444 · 26/04/2022 08:36

Thank you @OutbackQueen . My daughter is early 40s and a very sensible, grounded woman. I had a little wobble with her at the start and she texts me during the day and her teen son skypes or calls me each evening but we talk of other things. I'm retired so now I make sure I do something/go out every day and keep busy. Because I'm that much older than you, I sort of expected something shitty to fall on me from a great height some time soon but I'm fairly optimistic about my result - time will tell.
22 is a really young age to have to deal with all of this but at least by the summer you will both know what you're dealing with and you'll know whether she's coping or whether it's just TMI sometimes. Dealing with the waiting? Only the usual, keep busy, think positively but plan for anything. I'm not a head-in-the-sand person so it helps me to get as much stuff (mental, emotional and practical) out of the way during the not-knowing period but this might not work for you. If you're up to it, please let us know how you get on - my fingers are tightly crossed for you x

Billandben444 · 26/04/2022 08:42

Thank you @DurhamDurham yes, it is a long time! I hope you get good results - my clinic visit was comfortable and relaxing (apart from all the masks) and I hope your lot take as good care of you x

DurhamDurham · 28/04/2022 19:39

I've received a letter for this Saturday at the Breast Clinic. Be good to get it over and done with.

Billandben444 · 28/04/2022 23:02

Fingers crossed for you x

Original poster
OutbackQueen · 29/04/2022 11:44

Yes let us know how you get on @DurhamDurham

OP posts:
DurhamDurham · 29/04/2022 13:26

I will, thank you both.

I'll update about the appt once I've got home. Hope you're having a good day.

Original poster
OutbackQueen · 29/04/2022 22:37

Thinking of you @DurhamDurham

OP posts:
Skap · 30/04/2022 14:40

In July 2019 I found a lump which turned out to be cancer. I had my two years all clear in August 21.
The breast clinic is a one stop shop. They have doctors, radiologists and specialist breast care nurses. You will probably have a mammogram first and then see the doctor who will have the results in front of her. The doctor will examine you and then arrange an ultrasound. They may do a biopsy at that point as well.
Then you go back in to see the doctor.
Their expertise is such that they often know at this point whether it’s cancer and they will tell you if they think it’s likely, they won’t send you home without a clue.
This can easily take 3 or 4 hours but at the end you have a good idea what’s wrong.

Either way I expect you'll know within a few weeks, certainly before your DD comes home.
I didn't tell my adult DC until it was confirmed but after that they were very supportive.
What helps while waiting? I kept very, very busy.

Littlelionroar1982 · 30/04/2022 18:50

So sorry to hear this. I’m jumping on the thread as my MIL is going through the same. They’ve confirmed it is the big C but awaiting biopsy result to find out where we go from there. We are so close. My MIL is my best friend and the best Nana to my nearly one year old. This is has been the worst week ever, I can’t ever look at her without welling up and my OH is distraught. Come on here to find some silent support and have read some amazing stories so we should all be positive and hopeful. Sending love xx

DurhamDurham · 30/04/2022 19:36

Thanks all for your information and support. It really makes a difference when you're sat at home worrying.
Had my appt today. Had both the mammogram and ultrasound within twenty five mins then shortly after I saw the consultant who said I had some calcification in the breast but nothing to worry about. I didn't need a biopsy and was free to go home within the hour.

@OutbackQueen Wishing you all the best and hope you get a good outcome too Flowers

Original poster
OutbackQueen · 30/04/2022 20:12

That’s wonderful news @DurhamDurham, you must be so relieved. Brilliant that they sorted it all out so quickly 😊

OP posts:
Billandben444 · 30/04/2022 20:44

@DurhamDurham
What good news for you, a huge relief 💐

DurhamDurham · 30/04/2022 21:06

@Billandben444 will you keep us posted, you've had such a long wait. Sending you all the positive vibes xxx

Skap · 30/04/2022 21:27

This is has been the worst week ever, I can’t ever look at her without welling up and my OH is distraught
With respect you are over reacting and it's not about you. If my DC had wept over me when I was diagnosed it would not have been helpful. Breast cancer is very treatable for most people. It is not a death sentence.

Billandben444 · 10/05/2022 06:11

Well, I have invasive lobular cancer in my right breast. I was so convinced it would be good news that I went to the hospi appointment on my own which was a mistake - always take someone close to you just in case. The next step is an MRI and then, once they're 100% sure what's what, a lumpectomy and removal of some underarm lymph nodes followed by radiotherapy. The prognosis could be a lot worse apparently for which I'm grateful. I have teenage grandchildren and we've told them the truth in a very upbeat way but my grandson (who I've helped raise since a baby after his dad left them) has become very huggy and tactile - I'll need to be careful how that goes. Anyway, I'm optimistic about the outcome but apprehensive of the process! I won't update any more but I'm crossing my fingers that the rest of you are receiving good news/treatment x

DurhamDurham · 10/05/2022 06:44

@Billandben444 wishing you all the best during your treatment and care. I'm so sorry it wasn't positive news when you went for your appointment. Keep your family close and let them help and support you like you have them. Mind you, you need to make choices which are right for you, because if ever there was a time to be selfish it's now. Take care and all my best wishes and positive thoughts to you Flowers

Joystir59 · 10/05/2022 06:47

OutbackQueen · 26/04/2022 06:27

Thank you @Sweepingeyelashes. It’s the waiting that’s going to be hard and I suffer from anxiety anyway. I will tell him and try my very best not to fall apart on him.

Sorry you are facing this uncertainty and worry. Look to your good friends and family, if you have supportive relationships with them, and focus on yourself. By all means tell your partner but don't put your support needs on him. He may step up, I hope he does, but worrying about him isn't your priority now.

LoveSpringDaffs · 10/05/2022 07:01

@DurhamDurham im glad yours was good news 💐

@Billandben444
I'm sorry yours isn't 'nothing', but pleased they are positive about it. My friend is 14 months into it. She had two surgeries, radiotherapy & is on her second lot of chemo, only a couple of sessions to go. It's been hard on her body but she's doing well & have told her she can travel in August, she's desperate to go & see her family in Poland. I hope you do as well as she has!! Huggy Grandson, make the most if it xx