not for resus?

[robinw]

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Me too. Take care. xx

Robinw , so sorry but I've only just read this thread. Thinking of you.

I have been thinking of you the last few days Robin, I'm glad I was able to help in some small way. I hope your mum holds onto that peacefulness, and that you can gain some comfort from seeing her more at ease.

I've only just read this thread, robinw - so sorry to hear about your Mother. Thinking of you and your family. xxx

Dear Robinw
I've been there - different circumstances, my mother was quite young and hadn't been ill that long and resus was not an option as she was dying of cancer - but still watching a mother die. My heart aches for you and i just hope someone is looking after you. I remember thinking the one person I needed to help me through this was my mother and she was the one person who couldn't. My mum kept saying she wasn't afraid of dying she just didn't want to go yet - and it was a shock to us all when she deteriorated rapidly, without any of us saying the things we'd been saving up to say, so I'm glad that at least the antibiotics have given you a little time to talk. She too at the end saw dead relatives waiting for her. I always wondered if that was just the morphine speaking, but decided that even if it was I didn't care, as long as it was a comfort. Lou33, my mothers last words to my dad were "what are you going to do about it" - I think we all feel frustrated and powerless that there's nothing we can do, we're just all so used to being able to fix things, it's such a shock when we can't. Sorry to ramble, I didn't mean to hijack the thread, it just brings it all back. Take care robinw, like everyine here, I'll be thinking of you and your mum.

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Wow, that's amazing, Robin, and excellent news. Hope your mum continues to make good progress.

Thats wonderful news Robinw hope that your mum continues to improve.

Great news, robinw. Your mother sounds a real fighter. I imagine the stress is still there for you - all those decisions to make if a nursing home is an option. Keep posting for advice if needed - if you have specific questions, I may be able to get answers from my MIL who is a geriatric nurse and used to own and manage and old people's home.

I hope the next week goes well with you.

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It's good you've got some extra insight into local nursing home choices, robinw.

Sorry to hear you're having problems with your daughter's school. Does her teacher realise you are tied up with your mother's needs at the moment?

Hope your mother keeps comfortable and the way ahead becomes clearer to you.

Robinw, glad your mum has responded well. Saw you posting on another thread and hoped things were better. Glad to hear they are.

glad to hear your mums improving robinw finger crossed xxx

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oh robinw, how awful, thinking about you at this difficult time. I hope you're getting lots of support and love from your friends & family, x

sorry robinw, no experience but still thinking of you. Hope someone else can help.

Oh Robinw, no experience either I'm afraid, but so sorry to hear of this latest development. It must be very hard keeping strong in such distressing circumstances. Thinking of you.

robinw, my mum had a PEG after recovering from a brain tumour operation. The nerves of her throat, tounge and swallowing reflex were damaged and she needed a trachy to breathe. The tube goes directly into the stomach and has a clasp to close it. My mum used to have 4/5 feeds aday from a liquid feed (can't remember the name) followed by water (a bit like formula feed). She had it removed once the trachy was removed and she learnt to eat again (starting with purees and building up to solids). Both procedures were done under local anethestetic(sp?). Hope this helps. My thoughts are with you and your mum.

Oh Robin you must be all over the place not knowing what to feel. I am so sorry to hear your latest news. No consolation I know but I am sure everyone on mumsnet is thinking of you, and we all hope you keep using us as a support when you need it.

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Dera robinw I am so sorry to hear that your mum is having all these setbacks.Has she been able to communicate with you recently about how she feels now about her future.In my experiance people who "were" afraid of dying do come to accept the idea better especially when they are suffering one setback after another.You said in an earlier post that she had said that she didn't want feeding through the stomach so maybe that helps in your decisions?
From a purely personnal point of view I think that I would ask the doctors to continue "normal" treatment but not cardiac resuccition or ICU if it comes to that.But I reiterate that is my personnal view.My mum died of pancreatic cancer 5 years ago and I have to admit that towards the end I was almost wishing for the end to come as I couldn't bear seeing her suffering(even though the medical care was excellant)It is a very stressful situation for you and my thoughts are with you and your mum.

robinw, you're in my thoughts.

Sorry your dh is getting upset about your frequent journeys. I was doing a 2x90 minute drive to see my mum, mostly every other day in the last months. I used to leave my oldest son in the care of my dh, taking my young baby (I was breast feeding so he couldn't be away from me) in the car. Despite having a supportive dh, I too got comments about the time away, the dangers to myself and my baby of so much motorway driving (often dark, rainy conditions, extensive building building work on the motorway, tired driver etc,) and the effect my continual absences were having on my oldest son. I felt torn in so many directions. It really helped to talk this over with a few close mutual friends and my inlaws, just to gain an outsider's perspective. We all knew my dh cared for me and was trying in his own way to protect me.

No one could offer a solution, but I got another shoulder to cry on, and an idea of where my priorities lay from week to week.