Cancer support thread #82

[MrsPnut]

Welcome friends old and new, to the most supportive thread on Mumsnet. Everyone is welcome whatever stage you're at (fears, diagnosis, treatment). Introduce yourself and say Hi

Good luck to everyone having treatment this week. Hugs to all - especially if you're feeling rubbish (physically, mentally, or waiting for results - ugh

@Podgedodge I'm really so sorry to read the sad news about your dad, you all have been through so much. Thinking of you and sending love Xxx.

So sorry Podge. I think you are right not to go though it must be so difficult. I do not know if this is possible but maybe your step Mum when visting could do a video call with you on it so you could talk to your Dad if he isnt well enough to take calls by himself.

@Silkierabbit that is a lovely idea, but he is beyond that. Very wandered as my Gran would have said. Not dementia, literally come on since strokes so likely caused by that. Given time, he might come back to himself, but doesn’t seem like he will get the time. I am very lucky, we have no bridges to build, no rows to make up for. I know he loves me and he knows I love him. That’s more than a lot of people have. I saw him on Thursday, and to me now that was a goodbye.
oh it just feels another level of unfair though.

Thank you @Fantasea , I appreciate it.

Hello @Silkierabbit !
My journey sounds the same as yours so far, will have to wait and see what treatment I get after op. It must be very worrying and extremely tiring if you have young children and I really don't know how you all manage to hide the meltdowns and bottle stuff up. I'm 70 in July with 40-yr old children and 2 teenage grandchildren and my boobs have long been past their best-before date but it's still a shock, isn't it? I love these supportive corners on mumsnet and hopefully I'll be supportive one day and not just whingey! X

@Podgedodge i am very sorry to hear about your dad, Covid has ruined so many things and I’m sorry your goodbye is one of them.

@Billandben444 welcome to the thread, sorry to see you here.

Supposedly my ascitic tap biopsy results will be in by now for the MDT to discuss tomorrow morning and I should get a call from the specialist gynae-onc nurses at some point to tell me what they found. I’m actually physically ill with the dread. The last 24 hours have been rubbish, it hurts my abdomen to sleep on either side now and the discomfort/ovulation type pain has been constant all day which is killing any hope of tomorrows results not being confirmed cancer. I keep having moments of disbelief. It can’t be ovarian cancer, it just isn’t possible, except it might well be.

@AGreatUsername a big virtual hug coming your way x

Glad you saw your Dad on Thursday Podge but sorry it looks like he will leave this world soon.

AGreatUsername Hope its not cancer and thinking of you today. If it is we will try and help you through it, its not easy but take things day by day and you get there one day at a time. And there are still some good days inbetween the rubbish ones.

BillandBen I am not sure I would get reconstruction either at nearly 70, I was originally planning for delayed but even in my late 40s think I may prefer to see back of hospitals but will see. Hope you dont have to go through to much treatment, its only really the chemo I hate, both surgeries were just 1 week or so of mild pain which paracetomol sorted and even the chemo its like 4 months for me, 3 months with 4 weeks off and then its done. And in the gap one time I got to Wales to see puffins so its still possible to have some nice days in it.

More gcses today and now babysitting Mr Floof who is quite mischevious.

Dad died this morning so didn’t have to make decision.

It was peaceful, his wife was there, he stopped struggling and went to sleep. I’m glad it ended this way, he was due to be moved from the hospital , so glad he did not have to undergo more treatment/moving etc. That’s my DH, my father in law and my Dad within 11 months. Throw in my cancer, and this has been a hard year.

So sorry Podge sending love and hugs. At least he is not suffering anymore.

Much love to you @Podgedodge

Sending you all my love @Podgedodge . A hard year for you indeed 😔 thinking of you xx

@Podgedodge so sorry to hear about your lovely dad and especially hard after such a difficult year for you. I am thinking of you and sending you love Xxx

@Podgedodge sending you a big hug xxx

So very sorry @Podgedodge , sending you love.

Thank you. You are all very kind, didn’t mean to derail.x

Finally had some biopsy results. They have found cancer cells. What a bugger.

The consultant said they look like low grade OC cells rather than high grade so the plan is still for the debulking next month followed by chemo.

I knew my hope that it wasn’t cancer was stupid.

So sorry to hear that AGreatUsername Thinking of you and sending love and hugs.

I am breast cancer so not an OC expert but mine was 2 x surgery then chemo so similar treatment plan. Its a huge amount to take in when you are first told, just take it stage by stage or day by day and each day is a day closer to the end. We are here if there is anything we can help with.

@Podgedodge It’s never a derail, if it’s important to you then it’s important to us.

I’ve been on this thread a long time, I’ve started many of them and I can say that I recognise names from here when they pop up elsewhere on the site. I often message people when they haven’t posted in here for a while, some people need to avoid cancer talk to move forwards and others are happy to hang around. We are a small community with only one thing in common - we have all been to Cancerland.

@AGreatUsername Sorry to hear that, there are many great OC women on here, I’m sure they will offer advice on the debulking and recovery.

@Podgedodge sorry for your losses. Big hugs x

@Podgedodge Another message sending you sympathy and hugs (if you like them, otherwise I will just awkwardly pat you on the shoulder). To say it’s a hard year for you is an understatement.

@AGreatUsername sorry to hear that. Lots of OC help on here to echo @MrsPnut I’m metastatic breast (aghhh I’m more than my cancer)

It wasn’t stupid to hope it wasn’t cancer. My spread was diagnosed when I went in to have my lungs drained because they were full of fluid. Two litres came out and I was chatting happily away to the dr about all the possible reasons there could be fluid on your lung. But no it was not one of these infinite glittering possibilities it was our friend cancer of course. I had been free of that bugger for almost 11 years. I was surprised I have to say which sounds stupid too when you consider my history (BRCA 2 carrier) and how ill I was. But hey wow surprise (to me at least it’s cancer again cool cool

I’m so sorry Podge for your awful year.

Sorry to you to, GreatUsername, I’m in the OC camp, tho with Primary Peritoneal Cancer. Just had last chemo yesterday but no bells ringing, literally or metaphorically, as CA125 levels are up and it looks like possible mets. The debulking surgery was hard but, tbh, not that bad (despite some complications). They are VERY good at pain control, provided you advocate for yourself: Insist on the epidural, insist on proactive pain control -eg slow release oxycodone rather than reactive treatment as it always takes ages as nurses etc are so busy.
I’m not sure of the implications of low grade v high grade -again, can you insist on a meeting with consultant where s/he really explains options carefully and thoroughly, including WHY options like Hipec v normal chemo aren’t available.

Cancer is shit-I’ve been trying to avoid the whole “battle” imagery in my cancer process -I wanted to work WITH my body to usher out the poor misguided cells that had got confused but, tbh, I’m struggling to maintain the hippy zen and I just want to hit the deck like a tantruming toddler and call cancer a see-you-next-Tuesday.

Dealing with the medical establishment is my unwanted job today. Phone consultation with my oncologist where I have to tell her about my new symptoms, explain my pain issue, ask her when she’s scanning me next and try and not get in a fight with her. They’ve booked me an MRI but not until JULY. I could be dead then. She clearly hasn’t put it as urgent as she thinks it’s not urgent and it’s also a cost thing. I’m downtrodden and disheartened already and meeting not even until 11ish. FML