Cancer support thread #82

[MrsPnut]

Welcome friends old and new, to the most supportive thread on Mumsnet. Everyone is welcome whatever stage you're at (fears, diagnosis, treatment). Introduce yourself and say Hi

Good luck to everyone having treatment this week. Hugs to all - especially if you're feeling rubbish (physically, mentally, or waiting for results - ugh

So tomorrow is finally the day i get my biopsy results. Tbh i don't want to go, i just want to run away from it all. I'm booked in to see the colorectal surgeon which i would have thought i'd see a consultant first who would break the bad news then be referred for surgery but guess not. My DR mentioned 2 days ago in the referral notes from all my scans it looks like a carcinoma. I don't want to sit in a room tomorrow either with people feeling sorry for me when i get told its C just wish they would do it over the phone

@AFB2022
Surgeon is good. Means they've decided they can operate. You might even get a pre-op check at the same time. I did for one but not with the other. Whatever it is, it'll be good to get shot of it.

I know how you feel. Makes it all seem more real. But you'll get the chance to meet the people who are going to make you better. There will probably be a specialist nurse there who will be your lifeline and give you their number, put you in touch with support services etc. Mine is brilliant.

Is anyone going with you? I prefer to be on my own but it is useful to take notes to help remember details.

@AFB2022 I remember feeling the exact same way, I wanted to run far, far away. Even sitting in the room on the day I was due to receive my diagnosis, I said to my fella ‘shall we just sneak out and bugger off somewhere for the day?’ It’s such a horribly stressful time.

I know we have different cancers, but I met my surgeon first too, after having a contrast mammogram and biopsy, and they were the one who gave me my full diagnosis and treatment plan. I was then referred by them to my oncologist, whom I saw the following week, who explained my proposed chemo pathway.

I’m pretty sure I’ve said this to you previously, but once tomorrow is over and you get your results, full diagnosis and treatment plan, you will feel differently. I won’t say ‘better’ but you’ll have something to focus on, and you’ll know the steps you’ll be taking. It’s the worst bit, where you are right now.

Sending you love xx

@Thymeout what do they do at the pre op checks? Yes its getting really real now and i'm not sure i'm ready to face it or face telling my family. My partner is going to go with me because he'll remember all the sruff to ask

@twobignoisyboys thank you. I honestly feel like not going. I wish the dr never gave me a physical examination then it wouldn't have been found and i'd be none the wiser. I'm just scared they will say its stage 4 already

@Silkierabbit yeah there are numbers but I’m not having the fucking chemo as it was supposed to start properly yesterday but I’ve been in here since Tuesday AM. I’ve only been on letrazole since 29th March. Seen oncologist and pre-chemo meeting then BAM. In here. This morning was ok because acute oncology did come round to see me & talk me through what they knew and were planning but none of it has happened. I’ve deteriorated throughout the day I am very very upset and angry and frightened now. They are waiting for a packet of blood that may or may not arrive from London tonight there are no ward beds -for me - others keep getting moved to a ward - for a third night running. I feel like I’m in hell. A nurse just told me to “stay positive, take it one day at a time” I told him it was very hard to stay positive when you had stage 4 cancer and you are facing your third night in A&E. I’m sorry this post is so dark and I know everyone is going through their own cancer in their own awful hellish ways but it is easier to let all this upset and dark thoughts on MN than with my family and friends. I FaceTimed with DD twice yesterday I can’t face it today.

@AFB2022 thinking of you tomorrow. I echo others. Your surgery and treatment plan will help focus. The wait for diagnosis for my first cancer was awful because I knew straight away it was cancer as my own mother died of BC age 35. But I still had that awful wait to be diagnosed and get started etc. I’m a BRCA2 carrier.

@mowly77 thank you. I don't know how i've survived the wait tbh its been awful just not knowing anything and after each scan been told we aren't sure what it is which doesn't help at all but i'm finally at the light at the end of the tunnel

@mowly77 sounds awful for you, no practical advice but and feel free to vent.

I had a pelvic MRI yesterday which I think will help to stage my endometrial cancer, so I've been really on edge all day, not sure whether to contact the nurse tomorrow as better news would make me feel better over the weekend, but then if it's worse news I think I'd rather wait until my appointment.

I also found out yesterday my DM has bowel cancer. I haven't told her about mine, she's 89 and quite frail, we speak to someone tomorrow to find out next steps.

@AFB2022
Can't really remember. Just the usual checks. Bp, medications, allergies. She gave me a swab and asked me to use it on my perineum for MRSA.
Others have done it more recently.
Will be thinking of you tomorrow.

@AFB2022, oh I so remember that feeling.
Before my operation I kept saying to everyone how angry I was that I was well, but my treatment would make me ill.
I know that I was obviously ill before, but I didn’t FEEL it, so it had no real meaning for me. Even now I still think if they’d just left me alone it would have been okay. I know that doesn’t make sense.
It’s all so hard, I really feel for you.

So sorry to hear your news Mowly I really hope they can solve it and get you out of there quickly back to your little girl.

AFB I also wanted to run away to an island where no-one could find me and just canoe. But I looked up life expectancy with no treatment and it was about 2 years so I realised I had to go back but it was really hard esp when you think you may be stage 4. They initially told me I could well be stage 4 but then I remember the mass they saw on my adrenals had been mentioned a few years ago and when I got that they ruled out stage 4.

Hope the results of the MRI aren't too bad Sierra mine would not give over phone. I wish they would, would have much preferred having the news at home.

Had counselling today which was good but oncology never did my video call, I waited 1 hours 10 mins and no-one came though at least at home so no big deal. I don't especially need to speak to them, its more a tick box exercise so think its fine. Just had another steak in red wine sauce with asparagus and potatoes, must be craving iron I think. Bad neuropathy in feet which is not going at all but at least the rest of it has gone.

@mowly77 really hope they can get things moving very soon, thinking of you and sending love Xx

@AFB2022 The pre-op for my OC surgery was just a nurse led clinic and was the usual medication, allergies, mobility questions. Then blood pressure, ECG, an MRSA swab in my knicker line (pants still on) and a blood test for my blood group. Thinking of you tomorrow and I echo what all the others have said, you'll then know what you're dealing with and I didn't believe it when it was said to me, but you'll honestly feel a lot better Xx

@mowly77

I think you said you lived in Kent? (You were talking about wanting little Dd to do the Kent test when she was older.) I've been listening to the radio all morning and it sounds as if the whole county is now a car-park because of the Dover lorry queue. A driver said it had taken him 18 hours to drive what usually took him 1 and a half. Area round Ashford gridlocked.

Might explain why you've been waiting so long for blood from London.

This truly is a shit time to be ill. Hope you've at least been moved out of the corridor.

@AFB2022 How did it go?

Just popping back because the thread dropped off my ‘I’m on’. I’m re-back out of hospital - 11 days in after debulking, then 6 days at home, then back in for a week due to wound infection needing iv antibiotics. Although chemo ’s been put back til next week, it shouldn’t make a difference -or so I was repeatedly told…

Hi all, so sorry to intrude on this thread, I did start my own but only got one reply.
If you don't mind me asking a question here because I'm sick with fear. If this is too cheeky please just ignore me.
Basically back in 2018 I was diagnosed with DCIS, really early stages no lymph node involvement. Had double mastectomy and immediate implant reconstruction. Lipo modelling a year later, absolutely no issues since. A few days ago I found a small round lump in one of my breasts, it feels rubbery and is very mobile it slips and rolls as I touch it. Have arranged to see my consultant but isn't for three weeks ☹️ has anyone got any experience with this? Of course my mind has gone straight to cancer.

@SummerBluez sounds like with a lipofill it could be a fat globule or something else benign. But its always good to get things checked out for sure!

Hey just popping in...
Have just left hospital in London after having thyroid, total neck resection, lymph nodes removed.
Look terrible (understandably)
Am waiting on treatment plan which I am hoping to have more locally. Have also got tumour in bowel on blood supply. Have to be honest though not in any rush for more surgery. Found the whole thing really traumatic and had a bad reaction to anaesthetic so operation was over 10 hours.

Am also in Kent....

@Thymeout ah yep I do that might be it. I am allegedly getting out tonight so I now expect huge wait for transport. DP driving back from London so he’ll be caught up too. He said he would pick me up but hospital already ordered transport & it will take so long to be discharged so he’s better off not trying I think.

@AFB2022 are you ok, how was it?

Welcome @SummerBluez I am not sure what it can be but pull up a chair and we’ll hold your hand while you wait for your appointment.

@MrsWooster I hope your infection clears quickly and chemo is resumed.

@Silkierabbit I hope your neuropathy improves, you seem to be going through the wars with chemo.

@AFB2022 How did you get on today?

@mowly77 It’s just a whole bag of wank, I’d be having a full on toddler tantrum laid on the floor if I was in your position.

@MissSmiley I’ve been giving you a wave every time I pass on the main road, hope you can feel it.

I’ve got a pre op on Monday for having my port removed, I have stressed that my port is trying to push through my skin so we are into urgent territory so hopefully I can have it done before too long.
I’ve done 2 days back at work this week and I’m very tired but happy to be productive again.

Hello, sorry to barge in.

I'm new, I might not have cancer at all, but have just had a bruising experience at the breast clinic.

I had high hopes it would be a swift 'oh that's a cyst' and all over with.

But I had a mammogram, investigation by doctor, ultrasound, biopsy x3, insertion of a titanium marker into the lump so they can find it again, bandages, then another mammogram.

The doctor seemed sure it was benign after a feel, but sent me for the ultrasound in case, then while I was having the second mammogram the radiographer had a closer look at the ultrasound pictures and decided to make me another appointment for a week on Tuesday to discuss the results. Apparently they'll call me on Thursday if the biopsy is clear, but if they don't ring I'm to come on Tuesday.

So no news is bad news.

The lump is only 9mm though, which is small I think? So that's hopeful.

Feeling very lost.

I'm 40 and breastfed for 12 years straight! Only stopped properly about 6m ago, had convinced myself it was related to that, but that now seems unlikely.

Hi @Stomacharmeleon…hoping someone on this thread will be able to give you better advice than me but wanted to say ‘welcome’. You sound like you’ve really been through it, I’m so sorry you’ve had such a tough time.

Hi @inkyscribbler…the waiting for results is the worst part. I hope you get good news, and I’m glad you’re having such thorough testing, sounds like you’re in good hands! Once you get results it will be a lot easier.

Sending you both love xx

Hi all, here I am to join this club I guess none want to be in ! I was at the breast clinic yesterday, after the battery of tests, consultant told me he is 100% sure I have breast cancer, will need to go back next week for biopsy results & treatment plan. I have 2 DC 14 & 5, I'm just tearful today, & struggling to get up, this comes on the back of 2 weeks of covid.

Did anyone have neck pain after core biopsies? I'm trying to talk myself down that the cancer hasn't spread to my lymph nodes. Urrghhh this is rubbish.

Wishing each and everyone of you well 💐

@Sowhatywhaty

Sorry to hear they were so sure it's cancer. I was having all the same tests yesterday too. They've offered me the hope that I might get a phone call cancelling the appointment they've made me, but I think if I'm honest with myself they were just trying to be nice saying that.

I've got three kids similar ages to yours- 14, 11 and 8. The thought of having to cause them trauma is the worst part at the moment.

I haven't got any neck pain, but it seems entirely possible it could be related to the biopsies.