Being bipolar and taking medication...or not

[electra]

I have had a very rough time in the last few months which I did post about here. I was prescribed cipramil and quetiapine (mood stabaliser). I took this for a while but recently stopped. I know it might sound wreckless but I am afraid to be dependent on drugs for the rest of my life. I haven't taken them for at least 3 weeks and I am not depressed. I can look after my children again but my family have noticed that I am hyper lately. I also am finding it difficult to settle at night and take codine to make me sleep. I know this isn't good.

The thing I want to know is

Have I always been bipolar or can it be triggered? Is there a way for me to cope with this without needing drugs?

When I was very ill I was self-harming regularly and was extremely depressed but experiencing highs at the same time. I am not like that now but recognise that I still have porblems.

Anyone have a pov on this?

BTW - I didn't put this in feeling depressed because currently I don't, even though I still have the same problems.

The chances are, your mood is more stable because the effects of the drugs you were on haven't entirely worn off yet. Bipolar is not something that goes away simply because you don't want to take the medication, I'm afraid - nor is it like 'simple' depression, which can sometimes be avoided with positive thinking and antidepressants. There is a high genetic link, hinting that this is not something you can talk yourself out of.

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Copied from wikipedia (not the most informative source I know, but you have to pay for the rest!

Even when on medication, some people may still experience weaker episodes, or have a complete manic or depressive episode. In fact, a recent study found bipolar disorder to be "characterized by a low rate of recovery, a high rate of recurrence, and poor interepisodic functioning." Worse, the study confirmed the seriousness of the disorder as "the standardized all-cause mortality ratio among patients with BD is increased approximately 2-fold." Bipolar disorder is currently regarded "as possibly the most costly category of mental disorders in the United States."[75]

The following behaviors can lead to depressive or manic recurrence:

• Discontinuing or lowering one's dose of medication, without consulting one's physician.
• Being under- or over-medicated. Generally, taking a lower dosage of a mood stabilizer can lead to relapse into mania. Taking a lower dosage of an antidepressant, may cause the patient to relapse into depression, while higher doses can cause destabilization into mixed-states or mania.
• Taking hard drugs?recreationally or not?such as cocaine, alcohol, amphetamines, or opiates. These can cause the condition to worsen.
• An inconsistent sleep schedule can destabilize the illness. Too much sleep (possibly caused by medication) can lead to depression, while too little sleep can lead to mixed states or mania.
• Caffeine can cause destabilization of mood toward irritability, dysphoria, and mania. Anecdotal evidence seems to suggest that lower dosages of caffeine can have effects ranging from anti-depressant to mania-inducing.
• Inadequate stress management and poor lifestyle choices. If unmedicated, excessive stress can cause the individual to relapse. Medication raises the stress threshold somewhat, but too much stress still causes relapse.
• Often bipolar individuals are subject to self-medication, the most common drugs being alcohol, and marijuana. Sometimes they may also turn to hard drugs. Studies show that tobacco smoking induces a calming effect on most bipolar people, and a very high percentage suffering from the disorder smoke.[76]

Electra, can I ask - why do you have the urge not to be medicated? You are ill. You are not weak, or mad, or bad, you are ill.

Those drugs are tough to take. Electra, I'm speaking from a very particular point of view - my dh has a long-term mental health condition, was thought to be bipolar although recently his diagnosis has changed. Last year he was on quetiapine, Valproate, lithium and 2 others - just a horrible lot. He stopped taking them overnight due to the sideeffects, which were truly horrible (mainly unable to sleep - he was exhausted, would drop asleep and then jerk awake after a few seconds with akethesia. Misery.) For a few days it was joy to see him so energetic and able to sleep properly. Then things started very slowly to go extremely strange. He ended up going missing for 5 days, and it nearly killed me.

Please, please, please talk to the psychiatrist, or the CPN, or the Crisis Service, or anyone at all that you trust. If those drugs are not suiting you (and not being able to look after your kids sounds awful), are there any others that you have tried that worked better? Are there any that you haven't tried? What about trying a very low dose with your psychiatrist's help? Some doctors appear not to give loads of options to people as some can't deal with the choice - maybe you could? At the very least, could you come off them a bit more slowly? Are you in touch with any organisation that might be supportive from the 'service user' point of view and give more support than MN can offer, e.g. MDF (it's not called that anymore, sorry), Rethink, Mad Pride?

I wish you all the very best but speaking from a partner/sometimes carer position, what you say scares me. Sideeffects are not to be laughed off, I do know that, but please please try and talk to someone about this? HTH

Codeine, btw, is an opiate.

i do have view and and i dont take drugs so cat me

If it was a (purely physical) health condition that might drastically shorten your life or make the quality of life very bad, would you still hesitate to take the medicine? Nobody likes to be "dependent" on meds, not for period pains or high blood pressure or diabetes or a mental health condition, but if you've got to, you've got to. There are much worse things.

I don't think I can do justice to all your questions and my thoughts here...

I have bipolar, and am usually very stable on antidepressant plus lithium. Recently had depressive psychotic symptoms and am really, really hating being loaded onto quetiapine. We have had to cancel Christmas plans and everything.

Bipolar IS disabling and it DOES get worse. Mood stabilisers DO imporve the long term outlook in the condition.

I would love to be able to say "I don't want to tae the drugs" - but tbh I don't really see I have that luxury.

Will write more later when I am not drugged with the bloody very sedating antipsychotic that is currently worse than the symptoms. Grrr.

MDF still has its name and the following is their website:-

www.mdf.org.uk

electra are you quite scared of being ill..of losing control

Thanks for your replies. I understand your pov coldtits, but I think mental illnesses are so complex that you can't apply a blanket rule - ie that if you're bipolar you simply have to take medication all the time. I am not convinced that stopping was a good idea, but OTOH I do know people who are bipolar who can manage without mood stabalisers.

The codeine seems to help me relax when I feel agitated. In the past I have (not regularly) drank a lot of alcohol when I was so frustrated at not being able to sleep at night, but I have stopped that because it made me feel so bad and I am concerned enough about my health not to continue it.

well it is a very complex thing mental health you are right

you do develop self knowledge and should be able to monitor moods i think

i do find caffeine affects me a lot and also it is easy to be addicted to different bthings for periods of time even exercise

there isnt much help for self managing without drugs as far as i can see

Yeah, exercise is something I feel the urge to over do at the moment.

which is a pity i think as it means people dont get the support they could benefit from

ime mental health services are lacking...medication shouldnt be the only option or be left out in the cold to your own devices

I agree with you, I think it's like that with a lot of things where medication is promoted but you aren't shown any other options.

not exercise is a pity lol

i find it vry hard to do anything in moderation though after a while everything goes to an extreme tho it doesnt necessarily mean a disaster just a need to try and reassess

ive had long periods of not really thinking too much about it but then sooner or later i get stressed and feel terribly worried that i am crazy or going to go crazy the fear is something i hate and the self doubt

last time i saw a psychiatrist was in 8 years ago i told him i didnt want to take lithium and he said well if you dont want to be helped then what is the point in you being here so i stood up and walked out..that was the last i heard from mental health services

I can relate to what you say about worrying that you're going crazy. When things are very bad for me I enjoy cutting myself - it's almost recrational but at the moment I am repulsed by the idea so I feel that's a good thing at least.

i havent ever felt inclined to do that luckily but i have other self destruct buttons to press unfortunately

nevertheless i do manage without medication and in rl i pass myself off as a normal person lol

I know 3 people who are bipolar.

One is a very successful businessman, one is a doctor and one a leading academic.

All three of them do take mood stabilizing drugs, and all 3 are quite 'normal' , productive, happy members of society.

I can understand the reticence of people to take these drugs, however the illness isn't without its own risks and two of these three were in an awful state before they got treated.

In some ways it can be hardest to convince people to take the meds to control the hyper phases, since they feel great during the 'up' time, while often causing a fair degree of upset to the families and friends around them.

there are people with biopolar mood problems who can cope without meds, but for many they can be very helpful. the key issue is to remember that the meds help to get your brain chemistry back to 'normal' levels.

This is an illness.

My ex bf is bipolar.

He's a neurosurgeon.

He does take mood-stabilising drugs and he also take anti-depressants from time to time.

For years, he self-medicated with drugs and alcohol.

But he wanted more than anything to be a surgeon, and so he takes the perspective of, 'This is an illness just like diabetes or hypertension, so why not treat it as such?'

But it could be a long, hard road before you get to that point, of course.

i always end up wishing i hadn't posted on these threads..i never saying anything very helpful to the op ...and i always seem to be at odds with other posters

good luck anyway electra

Santa, I think that it depends on the profile of your Bipolar illness. Some people have a profile that is 'easier' to control than others. To a degree I think that it is also affected by other factors in your life.

To a degree, a writer , say, would be able to 'get away' with a manic phase unmediated than a neurosurgeon.

There was a very interesting documentary on this by Stephen Fry not so long ago. He interviewed people across the whole gamut. Some managed without treatment, done used drugs and one American man had used ECT to great effect.

the one thing that ran through all these cases was that each person felt that the way that they controlled the condition suited them, and that ultimately they were in control, regardless of the means they used to 'live with' the disease

ah well thats my excuse for not being a successful business woman or a writer or a brain surgeon i dont take the medication

It has been suggested that I may have bi-polar tendancies.

I have been mood stabalisers, anti-depressants, codeiene etc for 15 years and cannot say I have felt better/happy.

So for the first time in 15 years I have stopped taking all medications.

Cannot say if I feel better yet as I have only been drug-free for a few weeks.. but I am sleeping, I am not depressed atm... and not hyper-manic, so I am thinking this is good!?

time will tell methnks.