Fear of being naked is making me want to cancel surgery

[Fearismakingmesick]

Hi MNers,

I've NCed for this as I don't want this associated with my regular username.

I'm someone who really, really struggles to cope with being undressed at all in front of others. I've only recently learned that gymnophobia is a recognised thing, and though I don't want to disrespect gymnophobic people by self-disgnosing, it really resonates with me as it goes far beyond just feeling embarrassed or uncomfortable. I'll get panicky feelings and an upset stomach for a week before a normal GP appointment, even if I don't expect to have to undress at all- just from the fear that I might.

My problem now is, I've had an inguinal hernia for 3 years, and I've finally, finally pushed myself to get it dealt with. The surgery is booked, it's less than 2 weeks away, but honestly I'm terrified, keep thinking I have to just cancel it, because I'm so scared of the inevitable moments of needing to be at least partially naked for certain things.

I had managed to gear myself up for facing having the area of my body in question on show for the surgery itself, but yesterday I read through the info given to me by the hospital, and it explained how I need to wash beforehand, and said 'a health care assistant will check your cleanliness and skin integrity'. So immediately I imagined having to strip off and be inspected prior to surgery, and the surge of stress made me panic and feel like I was going to vomit I've been feeling like I'm unravelling ever since.

I'm not in the UK, as I know over there they tend to really do all they can to preserve your dignity during procedures. I'm in a country where they always seem to expect everyone to be fine with being naked anytime they step into a hospital or doctor's office, they really don't make much effort to make any allowances for people who aren't comfortable with it- I had a bad experience before that took me years to get over, and now I'm anticipating being traumatized all over again

I know I need to have this surgery, I tell myself I have to do it to be responsible, to think of my kids and not risk myself with leaving this untreated forever, but I just don't know how I'm going to do this or how badly it's going to impact my mental and emotional health afterwards.

Does anyone understand, can anyone give me some advice of how to cope, how to get through it? If I cancel this now I'll never find the courage to try again... I need some coping mechanisms or something, anything!

And please, anyone who wants to reply to tell me I'm being silly, or doctors see naked people all the time so don't worry, or if I've given birth I must not be as unable to cope with it as I say- please just don't. I'm trying to avoid an absolutely massive post here, but believe me when I say it is that big a deal, I couldn't care less what the doctors or nurses feel, this is about how I feel, and to illustrate how big a deal it is, aside from putting this off for 3 years, these feelings are the biggest reason I opted for home birth after my first baby (horrible hospital experience, treated like a cow in a barn ) Given the choice, I'd do almost anything to avoid this

@MendyH Hi, I saw the thread had been posted on so had a look.

I can't really add anything more than what I said in my last post, where I said how it went (and it's been a year now so the details are kinda fuzzy at this point).

Just to say I'm sorry you're in this situation, I really sympathize. I'd be incredibly stressed too. Have you thought about the cover letter idea? Just something that can be quickly shown to anyone in your 'team' on the day in case anyone doesn't know your situation/feelings. It's great you've already talked to your OB about it though.

Have you thought about taking anything to help calm you? I took a herbal sweet called Rescue, it's for stress, the docs said it was okay to take before my surgery even though I was nil-by-mouth. It wasn't much but it did help a bit.

I completely agree with your post @daretodenim , I've got a bit fed up before with people saying things like that. It's kind of like, well yay for you, I wish I could feel that fine with it myself! We don't choose to be massively stressed/panicked etc but we have to cope with it.

Hypnotism is well known for helping with phobias and while you are in France, many English speaking therapists offer online work.
Well done for going through with your operation and finding solutions.
I don’t suffer to the same extent as you but enough for it to curtail a fair bit of my life.

@Fearismakimgmesick

Thank you so much for the cover letter idea. That is a great idea because when I feel vulnerable, I shut down and turn into a scared 5-12 year old in the height of my abuse. My husband tries to be supportive but he just doesn't get it. He says "you are asleep, you won't even know what's going on! Yea....I know....THAT is the problem!!! I was googling and just looking for stories of people that had similar fears and was so relieved to come across your post. Reading the comments on your thread were super helpful. Sorry I missed that you had responded post surgery! When I replied in your feed, someone suggested starting a new thread since yours was old. I feel dumb for being so terrified, but like I said before, you cannot reason with the emotions associated with PTSD/trauma!!!

Thank you again and thank you for your support. It means SO much!!!

@MendyH I'm really glad if this thread helped you at all. It's hard, it's just one of those things that you wish you could just grit your teeth and get on with it but it's not that simple. And I think people without this kind of fear or anxiety can have trouble really understanding completely. Of course almost no one is fine with the thought of surgery, fine with the thought of being naked in front of other people, but it's on a whole other level for some of us, unfortunately.

The cover letter worked for me because I could take the time to think about how to express myself clearly and briefly, sitting at home in a calm environment, so that way in the stressful moments I wouldn't have to search for the words or worry how to explain. It just made things much simpler.

I also tried just focusing on how it would feel once it was over- that once it's done it's done, that I'd be glad it was over and I wouldn't be in pain or discomfort anymore. And a year on, I definitely appreciate that it did the job. I'm sure you will too.

Sending a big hug to you! Hope you're able to find a way to make it easier on you.

@Fearismakingmesick

Thank you so much. I am confident that I will feel the same way when it is done. Sore from having 5 holes punched through my stomach, but so relieved that it is over, and that I conquered my greatest fear. 1:00 the afternoon of the 24th can't come soon enough. I will be out of surgery and hopefully awake with the fear of the unknown over. From that part in, I will be conscious.

Thank you again for being vulnerable enough to share your fear with strangers. I have gained so many tools to take with me that day. You are such a strong woman, even in moments of weakness, you are a badass!! Don't forget that!

@MendyH Right back at you! Listen to your own words of wisdom:

"You are such a strong woman, even in moments of weakness, you are a badass!! Don't forget that!"

Couldn't have said anything better!😎

@Fearismakingmesick

Thank you girl. 15 days

Years ago I read an interview with a doctor who said when it came right down to it, most bodies look the same.

They won't be judging you - your health comes first 💐