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Lightbulb moment - diet, exercise, water and sleep make SUCH a difference

50 replies

Mixington · 03/06/2021 15:37

Now in my early 40s it’s really hitting home that it’s soooooo essential to keep an eye on these 4 elements.

My water intake during the week is ok (2 liters per day) as I’m sat at my desk, but goes out the window at weekends and I really notice it in terms of my attention, headaches, bad breath, skin loooking grey.

A few late nights working on big project stuff has meant less sleep than I’d like - I look so much older, I feel really lethargic, like jet-lag.

Go out for a drink, like 2-3 glasses of wine, and look like I’ve been dug-up the next day.

Have a take away pizza and feel sluggish for a few days.

I know I’m biologically getting past my prime, and I’ve never been particularly good at looking after myself but not massive unhealthy either - but just how delicately balanced this all is has really hit home.

We don’t eat that much processed food and generally cook from scratch, though do have a very sweet tooth. But I notice how I feel physically icky after crisps or chocolate or cake so it feels like I’d need to eat super clean and healthy the entire time in order to feel ok.

Likewise with sleep, one or two late nights (eg 6 hours of sleep) and I feel like a zombie for a week. But now the kids are a bit older (6 and 9) my evenings are shorter due to their bedtime being later and it would be just a cycle of work/sleep/work/sleep if I go to bed at a decent time and not get any switch off time.

I know I’m coming at this late in terms of starting to look after myself, but it feels like it will be such an effort and sacrifice to anything treat/fun to get the right amount of sleep, eat well, hydrate sufficiently etc.

And don’t get me started on time to exercise! I am desperate to exercise but other than getting up at 6am I can’t fit it in. And I can’t get up that early unless I’m asleep by 10:30 which as I mention above, with work, kids, husband, Netflix, life admin, speaking to friends and family, feels impossible.

OP posts:
Mixington · 03/06/2021 15:41

So just HOW do you prioritize those basics? How did it get so hard to incorporate this into modern daily life?

OP posts:
Lottapianos · 03/06/2021 15:41

It's true. All the boring stuff makes such a difference. Sleep, water, loads of fruit and veg, watch the booze and caffeine and sugar, exercise regularly. We all know all this stuff, and it can be hard to stick to, but your body is so grateful for it when you do

Mixington · 03/06/2021 15:47

Yes yes. You hit the nail on the head. Boring but needed.

But feel like I need to be an ultra-vegan daily-yoga meditator to get there.

How to get there??

OP posts:
OrangePowder · 03/06/2021 15:49

Yes. As soon as I have refined sugar my skin is awful and water really makes a difference to how plump it looks.

I think exercise, or being fit, makes you look younger too. IMO, there's a very short window, late 30s to mid 40s when people's perception of your age is based in how lined your face looks. After that it's about how you move and carry yourself.

The way I manage to prioritize exercise is by making it social OP. So? if I go out for lunch with friends, we'll cycle it to a country pub. If we meet for coffee it will be after yoga, instead of an evening in the pub, we'll go for a sociable run. I have a sode circle of friends, mostly gained through some sort of active interest. I hardly ever go "out" without exercise being involved. Plus days out with family will always be active. Swimming, hiking, climbing with DC etc.

Lottapianos · 03/06/2021 15:50

One change at a time, otherwise you'll overwhelm yourself. Set a goal for what is actually achievable for you - no point aiming for 5 gym sessions a week when all you realistically have time for is 2 (for example). When you've gone one thing cracked, move on to the next. Try to see each change as a lifestyle change, rather than a short term thing

MrMeeseekslookatme · 03/06/2021 15:53

I'm 41 and have only recently discovered 'moderation'. I suddenly understand what all these people were prattling on about.

As for exercise, can you go to the gym in the evening and watch Netflix on your phone while you're there? I go three times a week in the evening and it is very much I go on the bike/crosstrainer/treadmill for an hour, plonk my phone on and either listen to or watch something in peace. Someone will be here in a minute to tell me I'm 'doing it wrong'. But to me it's better than sitting on my arse watching telly and it achieves the modest goals I have

Lottapianos · 03/06/2021 15:55

'Someone will be here in a minute to tell me I'm 'doing it wrong''

Are you getting what YOU want to get out of it? Then you're doing it right. Nothing at all wrong with modest goals, you're far more likely to achieve them

Mixington · 03/06/2021 16:00

Thank you all.

I do feel overwhelmed. I’m so time-poor I could cry (busy senior job) but as I say I also completely lack discipline and can spend hours on my phone achieving nothing and then complain I feel overwhelmed and have no time to do anything. Wfh this past year or so hasn’t given my any extra time either....

Evenings are tricky. As I work full time I’ve got the Mum guilt about not being around enough for the kids, so dinner all together at 6:30-7pm ish and then I do bedtime which can go until 9pm.

I feel like a meal plan is needed in order to stay on track with healthy eating. Then finding the time to meal plan is a right pain, and then when I do i spend hours trawling through recipe books and online and then it’s midnight and oops there goes my early night.

Less time on my phone would be a good start but then everything needs to be done online it seems.

OP posts:
Mixington · 03/06/2021 16:02

And the balance is so delicate. If I don’t get round to 2L of water per day for just one day, I really feel it.

The thought of having to be on top of all these feels exhausting before I’ve even started Confused

OP posts:
Mixington · 03/06/2021 16:04

So re the gym, I can’t really go in the evenings unless I miss dinner and bedtime and then I see the kids even less. And I can’t workout after eating.

Lunchtimes are non existent with non stop calls.

Mornings would be best but.......

OP posts:
OrangePowder · 03/06/2021 16:05

When my DC were small I used to "treat" them and DH to bath and bedtime twice a week while I went to running club.

I know what you mean about wanting to be there but they need time with Dad too.

But the main thing is to enjoy it. Fit it into your life, not your life into it.

JonSnowedUnder · 03/06/2021 16:09

Maybe do some exercise with the kids? Running, tennis or just a walk, easier to get into the routine now when it's light and warm.

autumnboys · 03/06/2021 16:13

I write a monthly menu plan and have a set online shopping slot. It saves me a lot of time and effort in the long run. Theoretically it could free up time to exercise. (Thanks to the person who suggested Netflix on a cross trainer, am going to try that)

MattyGroves · 03/06/2021 16:19

I have recently thrown some money at the exercise thing and a personal trainer comes to me once a week first thing in the morning (8am). It's a regular slot, I have asked my PA to keep it clear and the fact that I would need to message my PT to explain if I wanted to cancel is really effective at keeping me going.

It's an hour a week, it's not going to solve all my problems but it's a starting point. The fact that she comes to me helps so much with fitting it in

Mixington · 03/06/2021 16:25

DH is a SAHD so they get enough time with him.

They have activities after school so most days there’s no time between that, work and dinner/bed.

OP posts:
Mixington · 03/06/2021 16:32

I looked into a PT, but they tend to start after the school run or in the evenings here (we live abroad).

Mornings has to be my way forward. So a decent sleep has to be a priority.

A monthly meal plan sounds like a worthy investment actually.

OP posts:
Lucked · 03/06/2021 16:35

The quickest activity to do is from your front door. I can get changed while the kids are in the bath and then walk straight out the door at the end of bedtime (assuming you have a partner at home). 10 min walk/jog away from home turn around and walk/ jog home. Not much but keeps me moving.

AmberIsACertainty · 03/06/2021 16:36

I literally prioritize this stuff over absolutely everything.

I manage it by working out how to do more than one thing at once. Not multitasking. I mean like taking children to park instead of playing in garden because park is exercise for me too. Putting radio on while I do washing up so I'm relaxing and doing house chores at the same time. Stuff like that.

Phone calls take from my day, so I screen calls and will set an alarm of half hour before calling back so my day doesn't get eaten up and I hang up when the alarm goes off (not rudely! I explain busy).

Meet friends for gym, swimming or yoga class so it's catching up and exercising too. If people drop by I put the kettle on so I'm upping my water intake and being social plus finishing the tea is a good marker for time to shoo them out.

And I make sure I'm 'there' wherever that is. So if I'm hanging out washing I'm enjoying the sunshine and birdsong, not thinking about the next task.

I always spend an hour in the bath reading before bed, that's my me-time.

A friend once told me "nothing important gets sorted out after 9pm" (because of being tired and not thinking efficiently and businesses being mostly closed) so I have a 9pm cut off for serious conversation. Unless their house is currently on fire or they're approaching imminent death, it can wait until tomorrow because nobody else's drama is more important than my heath.

Cowbells · 03/06/2021 16:36

You can make a massive difference with 5-8 minute HIIT workouts. Just do one every morning before your shower. Or bring some weights into the bathroom and do squats and lunges and presses while DC bathe.

eurochick · 03/06/2021 16:37

I recognise everything you write!

I'm mid-40s and definitely need to take care of myself.

I went from being a regular exerciser pre-COVID to doing nothing after my daughter was born for the same reason as you - I have a seniorish job that requires long hours and travel so I was reluctant to miss the evening time with her. Since lockdown 1 I have used my commute time to exercise in the morning - if I don't do it then it doesn't happen. I'm much fitter and it gets me outside. Two mornings a week plus one at the weekend isn't going to see me breaking any records but it combats the sedentary home working and isn't much of a dent into work time. Could you manage something similar?

LunaNorth · 03/06/2021 16:38

If your DH is a SAHD, why are you meal planning and sorting dinner? Or have I misunderstood?

AmberIsACertainty · 03/06/2021 16:49

Lunchtimes are non existent with non stop calls.

Now entirely sure what you mean by this but sort it out because this time is for eating, recharging, resting, if a hour a little light exercise. It's your time and makes a massive difference to your say to have it.

If it's your own errands yore doing maybe do just one short one every 2nd day, not non-stop calls all lunchtime every day.

If it's work get away from your desk so you're not there to take calls and if anyone finds you or tries to interrupt you "I'm at lunch", "no, remind me after lunch", "please write it down and drop a note on my desk/email me"...on repeat until they get the message that you won't be thinking about/taking note of/dealing with work related matters while you're at lunch. But preferably make yourself scarce so this can't happen.

AmberIsACertainty · 03/06/2021 16:51

*difference to your day
*own errands you're doing

Mixington · 03/06/2021 16:51

Well technically he does ALL the house stuff, washing, tidying, dinners, kids friends birthday presents, all the running around to clubs. He’s great. But pasta and rice heavy meals don’t make him sluggish and who doesn’t get sick of the never ending “what shall we have for dinner” question. So sometimes I feel it’s fair that I input into dinner planning if I want something in particular.

OP posts:
Lottapianos · 03/06/2021 17:23

Yes x 1000 to meal planning, and planning in general. If you leave all of this stuff to chance, it won't happen

'And I make sure I'm 'there' wherever that is. So if I'm hanging out washing I'm enjoying the sunshine and birdsong, not thinking about the next task.'

Love this. I need to get much better at it. I spend way too much time in the future!

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