Looks like I have breast cancer - would appreciate advice and support.

[anorak]

Well guess what, they day I arrived to live in Bermuda found a lump in my breast. Went to the doctor, got rushed to hospital for mammograms and ultrasound. Been told they suspect "extensive DCIS". Went back in for a core biopsy the day before yesterday and have to go for MRI scan this afternoon, should get the results of these next week sometime.

The hospital is lovely, the staff are lovely, DH's job pays private medical insurance so I am very lucky that I will have good treatment. I've been here two weeks and two days, they have certainly been quick and efficient so far and I'm very pleased to have been offered the MRI.

And for anyone who doesn't know what DCIS is (I didn't), it's a non-invasive form of cancer that tends to confine itself to the area of origin.

I will probably be there til monday Ithink if all goes well.then I will go to my sisters for a few days so she can look after me.

Best wishes for that. And don't forget to tell your DH that you can't lift anything heavier than a wine glass for 6 months after breast surgery. (all part of my cunning plan). Please keep us posted x

unfotunately h left 3 years ago,he is being very supportive though. Iasked the consultant today how long before I could drive again ( as dd1 has cerebal palsy ) he said at least a month and then ponted out I would be able to drink when I went out! I did ask him if I should leave the house work too!

I hope your op goes well, beep. I expect you're in hospital by now. I wonder if your're having a reconstruction too, or are they leaving it till later?

I hope they look after you well and you get lots of good pain relief.

No, don't bother with housework! You won't feel like it, and really it's quite enough to do the post-op exercises.

Last night I got quite drunk and emotional. My hormones are having some ghastly party, my period has run away in sheer terror, and I'm feeling quite alone and afraid. Dh is being fantastic with the girls, but I think is finding things pretty tough too.

I spoke to the breast care nurse yesterday, who said it was normal to be feeling the way I am. Anyway, I am looking forward to meeting some other women in the same situation.

My next appointment is next week. They will tell me then whether or not they are going to try me on tamoxifen. The jury seems to be out on its efficacy.

Hi Anorak, have just seen this (not able to get on MN much these days). I'm so sorry to hear your news. BC is rife in my family too, but to be honest your post has been a bit of a wake up call to me. I've been so crap at checking myself till now. Will keep looking in on here to see how you are doing. Big hugs. xx

hello all, yes 99, make it part of your monthly routine - although saying that, I always have and still did not spot this until it was quite advanced. You're too young for a mammogram, aren't you?

hb, drunk and emotional is good from time to time, letting out all those trapped feelings. It's no fun being left in limbo. I hope you soon find something that works for you.

I wonder how beep is doing.

I didn't understand how firm you are supposed to be to check for lumps. I wouldn't have found the lump in my boob by myself. I found it really quite uncomfortable when the doctors were feeling for things. It's not something I would readily think to inflict on myself.

Is this something other people have found too?

My hormones are a mess. My periods have been absolutely regular for the past 25 years, until this month. It's not fun when hormones start having riotous parties.

I hope all's going well with you anorak, and I hope beep is doing ok.

I asked the doctors about my daughters and when they will start being checked. The doc said when they are about 25. Aren't they trying some different tests rather than mammograms?

Yes they have just started doing MRI scans here in Bermuda, that's after finding suspicious tissue in the mammogram and ultrasound. The MRI scan is crystal clear, so I've been told, and completely harmless unlike X-rays, it's also painless. The down side is that you have to lie completely still for up to 45 minutes per breast (I didn't mind at all!) it's noisy (you wear headphones) and very expensive, something like £800 so NHS use sparingly. If they can't afford to offer mammograms at 1/10 of that cost what hope is there?

These tests are extraordinarily expensive! I had a bone scan which took about 15 mins. I hadn't thought about the noise of an MRI scanner. My room in hospital recently was next to the MRI scan truck. What a racket! It was a terrible sound! I can't imagine what it's like to be in one!

I may have already mentioned - the cost of treating breast cancer in America is about $200,000. I don't know what kind of care that includes. A lot of Americans don't spend much time in hospital.

I have to go in and have a mastectomy on the 18th. After 6-8 weeks healing time the decision will be made as to whether or not I should have radiation. If yes then I have to go and live in a hotel in the USA for 5 weeks on my own while they do it because they don't do radiotherapy in Bermuda.

After that I have to have a course of chemotherapy, then a breast reconstruction, then 5 years hormone treatment, if I survive. They tell me 93% of women do.

That's it.

So I'm going to spend Christmas on the sofa, reading trashy novels, flicking the remote control, shouting for more sherry and laughing at my DH's attempt to cook roast potatoes It should be fun.

Message withdrawn

Haven't read all the posts Anorak but sorry to hear your news. I agree with those who have told you not to google. It really is the way to madness. I am currently half way through being treated for what I hops it a non-invasive cancer. It has not been pleasant but you have to do what you have to do.

I have found the www.cancerbackup.org.uk site useful.

It's very annoying that everybody else gets so worried and anxious for you. I think it's because it is so out of their control. Cancer is no longer automatically a killer but people are very scared of it.

Good luck. And just get on and enjoy Christmas as much as you would have done anyway.

I'm meeting someone on Monday who's been through what sounds like similar treatment (minus hotel stay in US!). I expect you're inundated with information and I do apologise if I'm adding too much. This is Cancer Research UK which I have found really helpful, and something you may or may not find helpful is this cartoon book I mentioned before. It is US based so may have a bit more local informationcancer vixen site

Your bc nurse will become an important ally.

Although it's crap being diagnosed with serious diseases, they say that early diagnosis saves a lot of lives.

Oh Anorak - just catching up on all the latest. Things seem to have taken a turn for the worse, but glad to hear that you are still being positive about it. You know that you don't have to put on a front with us though right, so if you are feeling worse than you are letting on then let it all out on here - bottling it up will do you no good at all [wags finger].

Am keeping my fingers crossed that you won't need radiotherapy. Whilst 5 weeks lounging around in a US hotel might be fun at certain times, I don't think that this is one of them.

Sending you (and the family) much love. xx

heres wishing you good luck for your op and consequent recovery,im sure with the positive attitude you have you will be fine.

Anorak, if you do need radiotherapy, make sure you let us know where in the US you'll be - as you know from the 'all those in the US' thread, there are a few of us over here in various cities. If you're close enough to any of us, we'd happily keep you company. Chicago would be a bit chilly, but I have some imported Ribena for emergencies - I'd happily share it with you

In the meantime, I hope you have a lovely Christmas in Bermuda.

Sorry to see that this is all a bit more than you thought initially.

Hope your op goes ok. You sound amazingly positive.

Thanks for the Christmas card Anorak. Reckon you're just trying to rub all that sunshine in our faces . Did make a nice change to see a card with no wintry scenes on it though!

Oh, Anorak. Have just caught up with the latest news. I will be thinking of you.
I admire your spirit and the calm way you seem to be dealing with this.

I hope things go well on 18th.

much love xx

Thanks so much for all your good wishes.

Yes I will let you US ladies know if I do have to come over. 5 weeks on my own in a hotel would be a bore, but I've decided that if it does happen I will use the time to edit my novel so I can start punting it around when I get back.

DH and I had such a lovely day yesterday, we went out for lunch because we hadn't been able to on our wedding anniversary (he was in Bermuda and I was still in the UK)

We had lunch here and afterwards we had wine outside in the hotel garden overlooking the ocean and watched the sun go down. It was just perfect and I said to DH, how can I explain to people that I am fine? I have loved ones in the UK crying when they hear my news and worried sick about me and I am sitting here having the most wonderful time, if only they could see this they would stop feeling sorry for me in an instant!

We worry about you because we care about you so much.

You can't tell me that if the situation was reversed and one of us were facing surgery you wouldn't be worried - I know you too well!!

I'm glad you're in such a lovely place and that you're getting excellent medical care. I just wish you didn't need that medical care.

Love to all of you from all of us X X X X

I went to my first bc party for younger women last night. It was quite an eye-opener. Everyone had a different story, different treatment, a different way of dealing with it. I'm really glad I went, and although some of the treatment isn't nice, it was really positive to see so many relatively young women and to be able to talk about it.

Oh Anorak, I missed all this (would explain why LGJ was asking if I had heard anything recent from you at the Xmas do... I thought she was just making conversation )

I have no idea what to say really. You're in my thoughts

xx