Looks like I have breast cancer - would appreciate advice and support.

[anorak]

Well guess what, they day I arrived to live in Bermuda found a lump in my breast. Went to the doctor, got rushed to hospital for mammograms and ultrasound. Been told they suspect "extensive DCIS". Went back in for a core biopsy the day before yesterday and have to go for MRI scan this afternoon, should get the results of these next week sometime.

The hospital is lovely, the staff are lovely, DH's job pays private medical insurance so I am very lucky that I will have good treatment. I've been here two weeks and two days, they have certainly been quick and efficient so far and I'm very pleased to have been offered the MRI.

And for anyone who doesn't know what DCIS is (I didn't), it's a non-invasive form of cancer that tends to confine itself to the area of origin.

Can anybody with medical knowledge advise me please? A roughly 5mm blood clot has found its way into my remaining drain. Is this something I should ring the home care nurse about? Or is it normal? many thanks.

bumping for some advise for you anorak

best wishes and hugs

ssd x x x

and ring the nurse, put your mind at rest

Thanks snowfun, but I'm not going to ring her on Boxing Day unless I know it's really something to be concerned about thanks for the bump.

TBH I'm sure she wouldn't mind if it will set your mind at rest

Bumping for you Anorak. Hope you're feeling a bit less down than you were.

Thinking of you,

xx

thank you. I am feeling a little better. I realised that I am in limbo. Ordinarily I would deal with this in my own way when they are all out at school and work, I would do some cathartic writing or watch something sad on tv and have a good cry. Or I'd get absorbed in a book. But I can't do anything like that because they are all home for Christmas. Normally when they are all home I am busy cooking and clearing up after them, or we go out, or we invite lots of people over and we're not doing any of that stuff either because I'm not up to it. coupled with all that I really only see DH to talk to at the moment and I can't keep going over the same ground with him, it's not fair. And anyway he is double busy doing all my stuff on top of his own so it's evening before he gets time to sit down with me.

In England all my friends and relatives would be visiting and I'd get all kinds of perspectives on this as I worked my way through it. I thought about all this last night and simply realising it all helped.

I just need time to absorb what's happened to me. After the cancer diagnosis it all happens so fast, and you're busy getting ready to go into hospital, you just keep grinning and get on with it. Now is the quiet reflective part of it in theory, but because it's a holiday time my family are around me all the time. It will all work out in good time, my sister is coming to visit on the 8th, poor girl I will wear her ears out.

hi anorak

just to let you know I read your post and am thinking of you

ssd xx

I am not in Mumsnet as often as before so I ddin't see your news until a few minutes ago.

Soo... just wanted to say that you are doing a brilliant job, and I'm in awe at how brave you and how well you are coping with it all.

A huge hug (as long as it doesn't hurt!, otherwise I'm sending lots of positive vibes to you)

Ch@ndra

Oh these Christmas names do confuse me, I don't know who anyone is! Hello ssd, whoever you are, and Chandra! how are you?

the lump in the drain turned out to be a piece of tissue, nothing to worry about, I figured out last night it looked flesh colour at one edge and the nurse said this does happen, quite big pieces sometimes, they are always amazed how they come down such a narrow tube.

Still got the drain in worst luck but hopefully only for two more days.

hi anorak, glad you got that sorted!

I've been on MN for about 4-5 years, but am not well known! keep a low profile!

been following your story, hopefully get your drain out soon, good luck with it

ssd x

You're so sane!! Glad you've figured out why you were feeling as you were.

Lots of love and have a good weekend.

xxx

oh, ssd! sorry yes I do know you, I was thinking ssd, what does that stand for! But it doesn't stand for anything, does it? [idiot emoticon]

DH took me out for lunch, and I wore my cushiony thing under my shirt for the first time no one stared at me!

FWIW, you're better keeping the drain in as long as poss - once it comes out any fluid still oozing sloshes around inside (eww!) and then has to be helped out (double eww!)

Glad the clot was nothing serious and that you've been able to go out You are doing so well!

Yes wendy. The nurse didn't want to take it out because my surgeon has left the island for a Christmas holiday and wouldn't be available to aspirate the wound (yuk!)

Yes I looked like a normal woman but with baggy tits when I went out for lunch. That's the best I can do at the moment

It's a big operation, anorak, and you sound as through you are doing well. The surgeon who told me I had cancer came to visit me on the ward the day after my operation, and I told him that I felt bitterly angry with everyone and everything. He said that made him sad. I thought about it, and realised that it's no good to be cross with the messenger, and really it's pretty amazing that the doctors are able to diagnose and treat so many things, and so quickly.

We've had a lonely christmas, and a strange one. I found out that my mum is being treated for Alzeimers, and my dad is as mad as ever. My father is a brute. I don't really know what or how to feel. At the moment we do not have a home of our own, and we are being bullied by my father. Dh is suffering too.

Oh well, only one more week of these awful steroids. I hope you have a good supply of magazines and papers and stuff to do anorak!

Yes, bitter anger may be natural but it isn't going to help you get well, so you were right to revise it. I expect your worries about your parents are upsetting you more than your own health aren't they? (I'm just thinking how my mind would work) You have plenty on your plate. I do hope things get better for you.

thinking of you and your dh x

hi again anorak!

hope you're feeling a bit better today after your nice lunch!

(by the way ssd stands for "sad sweet dreamer", do you remember that song? I think it describes me well! )

Tick tock, tick tock. That's the clock passing time til the drain comes out!

Still thinking of you.

Have you got yourself on Skype or something so that you can have dirt cheap phone (or video) calls to the UK? Then at least you'd have some other people to talk to.

Had to lol at your description of looking like a normal woman with baggy tits - that describes me most of the time!!

I didn't know that about your name ssd, but I shall remember it now .