Been having multiple issues for years now, doctors have only ever looked at each individual symptom (won't bore you with a list of them!), and never to the extent that I've had a real resolution to any of them - just learnt to live with them as best I can.
Recent months have seen a huge exacerbation of a couple of the symptoms. I'm awaiting a urology referral to investigate possible interstitial cystitis, attacks of which I've been having since Nov '19 - am currently mid-flare up, incredibly painful.
Also have an ENT appointment today as both my ears have intense pressure (and some pain) in them which is affecting my hearing and making me go loopy - had tinnitus in one of them for years, along with awful spasming in the same ear for a couple of years now - now both ears are monumentally screwed and I am terrified that the ENT doc is not going to be able to do anything for me.
I can't stop crying, constantly feel on the verge of a panic attack and am fantasising about just putting and end to it all by killing myself - but I have a wonderful 12yr old DD, and the thought of causing her pain is unbearable too.
I did get prescribed Nortriptyline for the UTI pain but I'm loathe to start it as I had a very scary reaction to an antidepressant a few years ago and felt suicidal, and with my current state of mind worry it will be what tips me over the edge.
I don't even feel I can advocate for myself as I am just so so exhausted - and I have an incredibly stressful job which makes things so much harder.