Cancer Support Thread #79 Newbies Welcome

[MrsPnut]

Welcome friends old and new, to the most supportive thread on Mumsnet. Everyone is welcome whatever stage you're at (fears, diagnosis, treatment). Introduce yourself and say Hi

Good luck to everyone having treatment this week. Hugs to all - especially if you're feeling rubbish (physically, mentally, or waiting for results - ugh

@Acinonyx2- I think what helped me was that the sentinel node biopsy could be done via the lumpectomy incision so I didn’t have any scar in my armpit, and only 2 nodes were removed.

My radiotherapy was just nine weeks post-op - I think they aim for 6/8 weeks after ( the planning appointment is about a week before you start treatment). The tattoos are almost disappointingly tiny - one of mine had to be re-done as it vanished amidst my freckles!

I did get a small bit of cellulitis a couple of days in - my surgeon liked to put pressure bandage over your boob for 24 hours post-op and the second time round it really stuck and removed a couple of layers of skin, so that area of skin was still fragile come radiotherapy. But a week of flucoxacilin dealt with it. The team will make sure you’re given any dressings, creams etc that you need x

I've now been given an appointment at dental hospital for 10th May. Normally I would have been waiting until October/ November. Crappy year silver linings.

@Babamamananarama I hope you don't have to wait too long to see a Doctor and get a plan together.

Seen one Dr - they are sending me down for a CT scan this morning to see what is going on. Hopefully we'll have some cleared answers by the end of the day.

Thanks for the tips @Noidea2114 and @SigrunGard . My radiotherapy is booked for the middle of next month and will be 5 days plus 5 days booster so 10 days in total. Just checked and that will be about 10 weeks after my second operation. My arm mobility is pretty good - I was back to doing yoga within a week or two of my first op - but it is interesting to hear that it can be affected by the radiotherapy. Actually, I was quite shocked when I spoke to my yoga teacher who said that about half the ladies in the class were at some stage of the same journey! I have been quite open about my diagnosis, although weirdly I am struggling with the fact I have got off relatively lightly compared to what others are going through. Does that make my voice less relevant? I figure that if it encourages someone to go for their routine mammogram instead of ignoring it then its worth it.

Good luck to everyone waiting on results or undergoing treatment. This thread has been a great boost to me.

@RocioMartinez- I know what you mean about struggling with feeling as if you have got away lightly. I feel really uncomfortable if anyone starts calling me “brave” or whatever- how can I have been brave when no choice was involved? The cancer has never made me feel ill ( the advantage of early breast cancer!) and although the treatments have their side effects it’s nothing in comparison to what some go through, as evidenced by this thread alone.

@SigrunGard ah that makes sense. I had a complete level-1 and 2 clearance so I'm not even allowed to try and raise my arm that high for 2 weeks (not that I could but I thinks it's not to bad for this time point).

@Babamamananarama everything crossed for you.

I have had my radioactive injection prior to the bone scan, so waiting for another hour before I go back in for the actual scan. I am beyond petrified. Traumatic injury. What exactly is that? I keep mulling it (unproductively) over in my head.

Sending love to all lovely ladies here, you are all brilliant and so supportive.

@Babamamananarama good luck with your CT scan today!

@balkanscot at least you are finally there and hopefully the results will be given to you asap?

Hello all, welcome and sympathy to @RocioMartinez, @PhannyPharts and @MamaOl93. As others have said, you are now in conversation with the creme de la creme of the Mumsnet nation! Seriously, I hope you can find help and support here, and am wishing for the best possible outcome for you all.
@Babamamananarama hope you get some answers from the scan and that whatever's going on can be treated effectively. How horrible and frightening for you
@balkanscot I'm aware you have your bone scan today, how are you feeling?
@BadEyeBri sorry about the vulval pain, hope you can find some relief.
@FizzyOrange glad to hear you have been nicely stitched up! Interesting that you have stitches rather than the clips I got. Are they meant to dissolve?

I'll be setting off for the hospital later this afternoon; I thought I'd be bricking it by now (going for post-chemo scan results) but I actually feel quite cheerful and optimistic. Two nice things happened yesterday, our garden shed is finally finished (bar a few tweaks which may never happen), and I got some very good family news. I'll post a shed photo from my phone, as I have lost the ability to make pics synch to my laptop without hours of struggle and Bad Language.

Waving and sending good wishes to everyone here, you lovely lot.

@Acinonyx2 results will go straight to my consultant who will then contact me. Veering between writing my will and thinking it will all be OK. It is so exhausting!

@Acinonyx2- no, that’d make a huge difference!

@balkanscot good luck, I'm crossing my fingers for you. A traumatic injury to the bone can be the result of a hit or fall. I've still got a sore brow bone from when I fell back in early March and I'm sure that whilst I haven't done any serious damage, that would show up as a traumatic injury. In fact if you include all my rugby playing injuries I probably have hundreds.

@RocioMartinez Of course it doesn't make your voice less relevant, your journey is your journey and treatment is different for each person.

@SigrunGard I hate people calling me brave, strong or that I need to remain positive. Fuck that, I just keep turning up and that is all I can do. I bitch and moan frequently because having cancer is shit.
The only silver lining in all of this is that I am having treatment mostly during lockdown and so I am not missing out on anything and even that is only a small silver lining.

@MrsPnut I often remark that at least I'm not missing out on anything. But only am allowed to say that. And I am ready to slap a couple of people throwing the word 'positive' around Let's just call the spade a spade - let it just be what it is. This seems to be an especially cancer-world thing, this bravery and positive thinking malarkey. Not that there is no place for a little positivity (even for me ) but the relentless push for it is irritating and misplaced.

When bad stuff happens, it's not enough to dive straight in with all the ways it could be worse and how a positive, optimistic attitude might help. First, you need to acknowledge that the bad stuff is bad and let the person be heard. Some people just cannot look directly at bad stuff.

@Bloodybridget It's quite the day for scans! May yours be clear in all the right places

Apparently, according to one lovely well meaning friend, I wrote the book on bravery. Which is news to me because I'm pretty sure spending three consecutive days after diagnosis throwing up, hysterically crying and telling my breast care nurse I might as well kill myself now- not really inspirational comfort reading.

Sending kind thoughts to you all waiting for scan results.

5 hours post 2nd Covid jab. No symptoms so far.

My sister in law rings me to ask how I am and then proceeds to tell me how awful I must feel, and how worried I must be, poor thing etc etc.
Really positive !

@thereisonlyoneofme oh dear - I guess it's hard to get the balance right!

@PhannyPharts - they mean well don’t they? But it really doesn’t help!

Wishing everyone the best with scan results, recovery and everything else that comes with it all! X

I can’t quite keep up with the speed of this thread.

Glad to hear surgeries have gone well but I feel for those of you with issues in the undercarriage region. I had a fairly brutal first birth which took a while to heal so wishing you well in anyway you can get through it.

So my first chemo was fine. Lots of side effects info, consents and a ‘good luck’ from my oncologist. Phesgo was an 8 minute injection in my leg which I need every 3 weeks. It’s thick so they can’t get it in any quicker. Not bad though. The thing that got me was the piriton which sent me into a very drowsy and spinning state. Like being very drunk without lovely wine so I dosed for a lot of it and came round about 7 last night. I now realise I will not be able to drive myself. I had visions of getting all sorts done while I was there which obviously went out of the window particularly with the hand and feet ice mitts. My port site is very bruised and sore but guess that will just take time.

Have had my steroids and anti sickness meds and have had the district nurse to show me how to do the filigratstim which all went a bit comical as none of us could work out how to get the cap off. Thank you to the person who said to take it out of the fridge 30 mins before use. I hadn’t been told that. I also rubbed some Emla cream in prior to their arrival so that helped abs I didn’t feel it. One of the nurses also runs the lymphedema clinic so suggested I get in the habit of massage now.

@MrsPnut, @SigrunGard @Acinonyx2 I too am at the stage of creating a slapping list of people at the moment eg god I hope they’ve caught it early (no shit!), you’re so strong and brave so will get through anything (no the meds will), you’ll rock a buzz cut, let me show you some mastectomy swimwear- it’s not too bad etc etc. However, some have been very generous and kind in their approach.

Welcome to @PhannyPharts, @RocioMartinez and @MamaOl93. I’m sorry you find yourselves here but you’re in good company. This thread above anything else has kept me sane over the past few weeks. As someone that previously only lurked around the style and beauty threads you won’t find a nicer place to hang out.

Hope those having scans got on well. For those asking about vaccines I had my second AZ a week ago and other than a slightly sore arm I had no side effects at all.

It’s a couple of hours since I started this so sure it’s already moved on and apologies to the anyone I’ve overlooked!

@thereisonlyoneofme- my sister in law is the prime user of the “brave” word. It seems odd to me when her father had leukaemia for over 30 years and at the end made the decision to stop all but palliative treatment- I feel that was really brave

@thereisonlyoneofme I had a 18cm fibroid which they have estimated at weighing 1 kg if that helps you? I can't stop eating now I am home, I am starving all the time. I see this as a good sign though even though I have eaten all the biscuits in the house!

@Bloodybridget yes they are dissolvable stitches. I patted my scar dry after my shower last night and a couple of bits of 'running stitch' came away with it. Hoping you have good news at your appointment xxx

@JeanLannes pleased the first chemo went well. At least you know what to expect now, for me a lot of the anxiety was the unknown. Don't get me started on the stupid things people say - when I was first diagnosed people would say 'at least you've caught it early', er no, I am stage 3c it is just that I have only just found out . I have had to distance myself from a couple of friends because my pathetic efforts to be 'positive' are found to be wanting and I just can't face another lecture.

This thread has moved on quite a bit. Welcome to the newbies and sorry you're joining us on here (nothing personal obviously).
My eyes are watering at the thought of radiation burns on the foof!!!!
I was at the hospital today again. Saw two of the consultants who took the dressings off and are happy with my new boob and how well the wounds are healing. My drain is still in as there's still fluid draining. They did suggest removing it on Monday but it's a bank holiday so will come out next Wednesday when I get all the results from the surgery which I'm dreading as that decides what happens next.

@Vinorosso74 did you have a breast reconstruction? I'll be having a total mastectomy and I think total lymph node clearance and I'm mentally weighing up the options but think I'll go by way of implant. How did you make your decision if you don't mind my asking?

Yep. I have a slapping list too. People who ask what stage you are straight away (found it really anxiety provoking when I didn't know) the "free" boob job comments and the list of people rubbing their thighs with glee at the prospect of shaving my head.