Cancer Support Thread #79 Newbies Welcome

[MrsPnut]

Welcome friends old and new, to the most supportive thread on Mumsnet. Everyone is welcome whatever stage you're at (fears, diagnosis, treatment). Introduce yourself and say Hi

Good luck to everyone having treatment this week. Hugs to all - especially if you're feeling rubbish (physically, mentally, or waiting for results - ugh

@Babamamananarama Gosh I remember The Fear at those times when it really overtook me. Truly truly horrible to peer over the cliff. It is so hard to think straight and assess things properly when faced with visceral existential threat like that. Absolute solidarity from me. The uncertainty and the fear are so difficult to tolerate.

And condolences @JeanLannes

@Babamamananarama Oh love, that is so utterly shitty and to have to do it all alone is doubly worse.

@JeanLannes Condolences and love to all your family.

Jean I am so sorry to hear about your DF. Sending love to you and your family.

Thank you. He’d had a good and happy life.

@Babamamananarama I am sat here with a large glass of water (exciting times!) wishing you well. I hope you manage some sleep tonight.

@Babamamananarama so very sorry to read your news, that is truly unfair after all you have been through. Hoping you can see your DH very soon. Sending you a big hug xxx

@JeanLannes so very sorry to hear about your DF. Thinking of you and your family

@Babamamananarama I’m sorry to hear your latest news. I know I am new here, but I just wanted to send some hugs your way. I hope you get to see your DH very soon. 💐

@JeanLannes sorry to hear about your dad. It’s nice to hear he’d had a long and happy life

@Littlestelephant oh you poor thing, I was the same as you before my OC surgery, I was terrified. You don't need to try and be brave, just be how you want to be, the anticipation is honestly worse than the reality. The staff will be the kindest you have met. I was such a mess that I asked for a pre-med which they were happy to give me - I had to have the epidural in beforehand so this delayed it slightly but this won't be the case for you so ask and it will take the edge off. Ask for whatever you feel you need, they have seen it all before and will reassure you. After what will feel like literally a second you will be awake and it will be over. I will be thinking of you on Tuesday xxx

@babamamananarama that is horrible news, I am very sorry. Hope you can get home soon to be with your DH. Sending you every good wish.
@JeanLannes condolences to you and your family. No matter how expected, timely, and easy the end, it's still a big loss for you

@Babamamananarama sending hugs. We are hear for you to rant away to. We understand The Fear as someone said.

@JeanLannes condolences. I hope you are able to see your immediate family to share stories and be sad together.

There is such a long job list to get through organising everything. I’m with my DM again planning the cremation for DF but she has had enough of people making her eat healthy food so we had a night off and ate pizza drank wine and watched Eurovision. It did us both good!
I am now waiting for results of biopsies on Wednesday. I have been consoling myself with cake so my strict weight loss regime has gone to pieces but it will resume shortly. It was funny that the BCNs who haven’t seen me for a month or two were fixated on how well I look and how slim and fit compared to the bloated potato they saw after surgery. That’s not the point if the effing cancer has come back is it? We all looked well before we were diagnosed! I am secretly amused that I am now fitter than most of them so the prospect of cycling 50 miles or deadlifting 40kg astonishes them.
I now have a week of saintliness doing DFs back Income tax returns and finding Important Papers then Results day and a frigging colonoscopy then the cremation. I don’t think life has ever actually been this hard to navigate. I have been snapping at DH which is how I know I am not my normal self because he is the loveliest man ever even if he fills my house with clutter. He is lucky to have a few days off while I am away.
Hope the weather allows you all some time outside this weekend. Even that is against us at the moment.

@Babamamananarama that is shit news darlin'
I hope you get home soon and can see DH. Don't be afraid to put yourself first for now. There's no roadmap so feel however you feel and if you need to rage and rant or have a big snotty cry- do it. We're all here for virtual hand holds and hugs.

@JeanLannes I'm so sorry for your loss. My condolences to you and your family.

@TopOfTheCliff for what it's worth I think you are doing a great job despite the hard hand you've been dealt. I'm constantly amazed by your resilience and strength. Good luck for Wednesday x

@Babamamananarama what a shock to hear this news when you were planning the next few weeks. Thinking of you. 💐

@JeanLannes I'm sorry to hear your sad news about you DF. RIP. 💐

HC x

MaverickMum86 I would suggest a quick post on a internet forum is not going to give you the knowledge you require. There are many places you can get the information you need
This is a safe place for many and if you read the thread you will see what many of us are facing.
I wish you well in your training.

@Babamamananarama I hesitated to post this yesterday but a close friend of a family member had the CAR-T therapy a couple of months ago and it was successful. He is home now and all looks promising.

Is this right thread please for support for someone waiting for DHs diagnosis or is there another one for family members?

@Bourdic there is a thread called Still the Storm for partners. I hope you get a favourable diagnosis for your DH.

@Babamamananarama that is very tough indeed when your treatment was already pretty tough. It is like snakes and ladders, every time they test and roll the dice you never know which way it's going to go. It takes a while to mentally adjust and even I think carefully sometimes about just which questions I really want answers to at this precise moment.

And @TopOfTheCliff it seems someone is determined to test you famed resilience.

I've also read about the CAR-T therapy - amazing stuff and hopefully one of the futures for treatment more generally.

[quote BadEyeBri]@Bourdic there is a thread called Still the Storm for partners. I hope you get a favourable diagnosis for your DH. [/quote]
Thank you for replying

@TopOfTheCliff that's a hell of a lot for you to be managing. Your DM must be so glad to have you with her.
@littlestelephant sorry you are feeling so scared about the surgery, I hope some of the responses have reassured you a bit. Anaesthetists are so brilliant at what they do and are experienced in dealing with patients with a vast array of complications. Looking forward to seeing you here when it's over!
@humphreyscorner are you still in Devon? Wine and a hot tub sound fantastic! DP and I are in Norfolk and revisiting the "let's move here" fantasy yet again . .

@Bloodybridget I'm in Lincolnshire near Cleethorpes x

Oh! Why did I think Devon??

@Bloodybridget, Ive just been to Devon for a lovely break and change of scene! I can add gambling to the list of vices I've been enjoying along with excess food & drink - but only in the form of seaside amusement arcades!

I've felt increasingly lighter mentally since finishing chemo despite the spectre of mastectomy looming ever closer. I've got the two weeks of pre-surgery self-isolation starting tomorrow so am going to do as much in the garden as possible. Apparently the hospital can phone to check you are at home - previously they've called & found people out shopping so cancelled their surgery

@Babamamananarama I am sorry about your news and I hope you are home soon.

The hospital have phoned me this morning and have asked me to come in for the radioactive tracer before my op tomorrow so they can check my lymph nodes. Anyone know what it involves and if its painful? I forgot to ask on the phone.

@HauntedDishcloth I am isolating for my surgery but it is only for 3 days before and 3 days after. I hope all goes well with you and the garden serves as a good distraction.

Ah silly me mixing up @HauntedDishcloth and @HumphreysCorner - apologies to you both. Haunted great that you are feeling better for the break. Hope isolation passes ok, I'm sure your garden will appreciate the attention.