Cancer Support Thread #79 Newbies Welcome

[MrsPnut]

Welcome friends old and new, to the most supportive thread on Mumsnet. Everyone is welcome whatever stage you're at (fears, diagnosis, treatment). Introduce yourself and say Hi

Good luck to everyone having treatment this week. Hugs to all - especially if you're feeling rubbish (physically, mentally, or waiting for results - ugh

For those struggling with hot flushes, DH bought me a contraption called a "Chill Air Max" which was on offer at Robert Dyas at the weekend. It sits on my bedside table and blows cold air at me (basically water through a fan and a filter) and is my new Favourite Thing for when I'm too hot at night.

Llioed I didn't have a bone marrow biopsy, they biopsied a mass in my chest, but with CT scan and biopsy, they were able to tell me the type of lymphoma and the stage and to define the course of treatment, all within a couple of days.

I am due to have a hemithyroidectomy in 2 weeks for what looks like thyroid cancer. The consultant has been very reassuring and said that my life expectancy won't be reduced by this and the worst case scenario is I require more surgery in a couple of months. I feel ok I think about the surgery, what I'm more worried about is how low my husband's mood is now and how he is going to cope with the children when I'm in hospital. How have other people managed their families emotions whilst facing surgery? I'm trying to hold it all together but this is making it harder.

@Orangesandlemons82 I’d encourage your husband to seek support for himself, either from Macmillan or from his friends and colleagues. With the best will in the world, you cannot do the heavy lifting for everyone. You need to prioritise yourself and he needs to look after the kids as much as possible.

@TopOfTheCliff Sorry to hear the news about your dad, your siblings really should be doing their share but there is always one that is deemed the helper or coper. They seem to have decided that is you.

First FEC done today, it wasn’t too bad but I am in bed now and might have a little snooze. The nurse at the end was writing her notes with Big Ron resting his head on her knee and Miss Mabel laid on the back of the sofa behind her head.

@TopOfTheCliff so sorry to hear about your dad and sending love to you and all your family xxx

@MrsPnut I'm pleased your first FEC is over with. Next time the nurse will probably be wearing one of your dogs, they are really so friendly!

@AlbertCampion I have one of those! I used it all the time last summer when heavily pregnant in the heat, they are amazing little machines!

I had my hair cut short today, it's the shortest it's ever been which feels a bit strange. I'm slowly ticking off things on my to-do list, which is helping my mood but I'm still getting anxious about treatment starting.

Time is simultaneously flying by and dragging by.

@Llioed welcome and may your stay here be short and sweet!

Thanks everybody for your kind wishes. I have some lovely friends both in the real world and online. I have had a lovely gentle few days with my dear DM waiting for the paperwork to get sorted. Luckily my DB1 has agreed to come down for a few days so I can escape home to plant my allotment tomorrow night. My DSis is stuck abroad in a country with a curfew and no travelling to the UK currently. I feel sorry for her actually as she is desperate to be here. DB2 is a recluse with an anxious DW so we don't expect much of him. I will find him some technical tasks to complete.
You are right @Acinonyx2 that I am the competent one but DB1 and I have never got on as we are 16 months apart and were very competitive siblings. Now we are pulling together he is being so lovely I think our relationship will change for the better. He has POA for the DPs so really appreciates my support making decisions. Also DM is being amazing and doing more than she has in years.I expect the adrenaline will wear off soon and she will crash but so far she is fine.
I'm doing well and enjoying being fitter and stronger.
Best wishes to all
Top

Top my deepest sympathies on your loss. I will keep your family in my thoughts

Sad news. Some of you may have seen that Bit-of-fun had a thread on AIBU about her bucket list to Angelsey. Someone just posted to say that she died at home this morning.

Ah I am sad to hear that. A wonderful woman. I hope she had some good times in her last months.

I remember reading her posts and how sharp and still positive sh was back when I was lurking after my initial diagnosis 18 months ago. Seeing someone living with Stage IV really helped in those first couple of months.

It is sad to read, but at least there is some closure. Is there a link to the thread, or just page through AIBU?

I hope she is resting well, her race is done.

Just seen the news about bof
She was so kind to me when I first came into this thread last year.
My deepest condolences to all who loved her x

I am now awaiting blood tests and another MRI for a lesion found on my cervical spine.
In addition to the eye thing.
Very tired and very scared:(

I’m another one sad to hear about BOF, she is as much a part of the furniture of Mumsnet as anyone or anything. She has shown so much kindness to so many people. I shall miss her.

@Jenthefredo Giving you a hand hold whilst you wait.

I have the steroid munchies, I have eaten like the big hungry caterpillar tonight and still thinking about going back down for another smackeral.

So very sad to hear about BOF.
She was a ray of light throughout her ordeal.

I'm so sad to hear about BOF, she was always so cheerful and upbeat. Thinking of her family .

@Jenthefredo another one holding your hand while you wait.

@MrsPnut I am constantly eating and don't have anything to blame it on!

I'm so sad to hear about BOF, she was always so cheerful and upbeat. Thinking of her family .

@Jenthefredo another one holding your hand while you wait.

@MrsPnut I am constantly eating and don't have anything to blame it on!

On no , so upsetting about BoF. Bastard cancer

Oh hello steroid insomnia, I didn’t miss you at all. At least I can start eating again - DH was rolling his eyes last night every time I came back with something else. I’ve accidentally woken one of the dogs and let her go and get in bed with him as a revenge. She’ll want to eat the cat food leftovers and makes a fuss until she gets them.

Serves him right!

I’ve got crumpets and coffee in peace.

I'm on steroids again too and combined with the itching is also keeping me awake. And hungry....

I don’t really snack otherwise unless I’ve been drinking but I’m already thinking about what to have next.
I sent DD1 to Asda yesterday afternoon to buy snacks, she came back with everything on my list and some more that she thought I’d like.

RIP BitofFun, such sad news. X

So sad to hear the news about BOF. Her posts were witty and sharp.

Just catching up after a bad weekend and trip back into hospital on Monday to sort nausea and d&v our. I have different anti sickness meds now so hoping better. Bloods seem ok though.

@TopOfTheCliff - I have 3 siblings so totally understand. My DF is in the final stages of Alzheimer’s and he doesn’t know about my illness. The doctor thinks he is having mini strokes at the moment. Even with pretty much full time carers the care load between the family has not been equal. It seems from your latest post that things are resolving for you though.

@Acinonyx2 - hope the itching is subsiding now the glue is out.

@Jenthefredo - sending you a handhold. You will be surprised how people step up.

@MrsPnut - glad your first treatment is over. How nice to have the digs for company. I really miss mine when I go in on a Tuesday.

@AlbertCampion chillmax air ordered / thank you.

Hair coming out in clumps now but no sign of wig yet. Hoping it comes soon.

Apologies to anyone I have missed off. It’s been hard to keep up with.

@Acinonyx2 - I bought the gift and enjoyed it. Her approach is very accessible.

Any book recommendations anyone? I can’t seem to read novels at the moment. Not sure whether I need autobiography, factual or self help?

Hope everyone is doing ok. Gorgeous sunshine here so will enjoy walking the dog with help from the steroids!

I really hope that Bitoffun managed some of her planned trips.She was so kind and supportive to me when this all started . Her humour and compassion will be missed on this thread.

I had to move to back my home town that I grew up in and left at 18 vowing never to return. Since moving back I have complained loudly and often about how much I hate it. Today on my walk I realised just how healing my dull sea side town is.
I hope everyone can find there own healing place even if like me you don't appreciate it till later x