Cancer Support Thread #79 Newbies Welcome

[MrsPnut]

Welcome friends old and new, to the most supportive thread on Mumsnet. Everyone is welcome whatever stage you're at (fears, diagnosis, treatment). Introduce yourself and say Hi

Good luck to everyone having treatment this week. Hugs to all - especially if you're feeling rubbish (physically, mentally, or waiting for results - ugh

@PhannyPharts yes to the bum pain btw. I had blood every time I pooed and so much pain.

My physio since has told me to get a poo step and raise my feet when I go. It's helped me no end. Maybe worth a try.

@PhannyPharts my poor bum was sore after chemo but I put that down to the horrendous constipation I get with it and all the false starts and chipping bits off by hand tmi.

@PhannyPharts hahahaaa I am queen of the burning fooff! It's a pain unlike any other. These things are also cumulative so my advice would be to get it seen as soon as possible. I now have some lovely lotions and potions and much less burny bits. Mines was a combo of cell death from chemo (mucus membranes are particularly sensitive) and the whole general area getting fried by radiotherapy. I can sit down again now. Bonus

Thanks all for the bum / fanjo confessions. Good to know I'm not alone although I'm not sure Fanny misery needs company. Do I just mention it to the onco team or is this a gp thing?

@FizzyOrange chipping bits off by hand? Holy bumholes Batman that sounds brutal

@PhannyPharts do you have a CNS you can ring? I saw the radiotherapy skin nurse but I'm at hospital everyday.

@BadEyeBri I'll call the breast care nurse tomorrow and ask. I'm sure she can branch out to bums

@PhannyPharts chemo gives me the worst constipation and it forms a concrete plug which blocks the exit. I have to get up there with a lubed glove and chip off the raisins so to speak. Once I've released the bung, I can have a natural delivery but it can take several days.

I would also say the CNS if you have one for advice. I don't know about the fanjo problems as I've escaped that one. For my sore bum, the GP prescribed some Lidocaine ointment which numbs it for a bit which means the immediate hours after a movement are much more comfortable.

@FizzyOrange chemotherapy really is the gift that keeps on giving isn't it?

@PhannyPharts I have awful haemorrhoids too brought on by having a lot of fluid in my abdomen. The constipation aggravates these. Cancer is just one thing after another, but I have learnt not to suffer in silence, there is always something they can give you to ease things. The exception to this seems to be trapped wind. When I was in hospital I was suffering terribly and all the doctors and nurses could suggest (not offer) was peppermint tea! I was in such pain and so upset one day I snapped at one of them, 'surely in a hospital you have something stronger to help me than a teabag', but apparently not and I was supposed to bring in my own teabags too which would have been nice to have been told .

@balkanscot If you lived near me you could also book your Christmas party now at our local hotel !

I've discovered with the chemo constipation it's best to be on the offensive. Senna nightly and movicol daily, stop it happening before it begins. My chemo is 5 days straight and sitting in a bed all that time so it's a recipe for disaster. The first time around I needed multiple enemas to get me going again....

@Babamamananarama do you start with your senna and Movicol before the chemo? I have been taking Laxido the day before my chemo (single day visit only) to get a head start but after last time I need to rethink my strategy.

Fizzy I feel your pain with the chipping bits off ! I have resorted to a suppository ( or two) which usually soften things up

Fizzy no I get on the movicol/senna while I'm in hospital. The effects of my 100 hr drip are cumulative though, and last well into the following week, so I've been continuing both after I return home.

@thereisonlyoneofme I tried a suppository last time but couldn't get it past the bung!

@Babamamananarama I like to overdo things slightly and then I can be sure I am 'done'.

@thereisonlyoneofme

Went hiking with DH and DS, DS really enjoyed it, despite never really having done it before (he is 9). Stopped of for hot chocolate and cake (the café was open, yay). I was extra cautious as I am aware my bones have probably crumbled to near-dust. Now I understand why old ladies walk around so gingerly, I am now officially one of them!

Good luck to the constipated gang, I remember it very well. I ended up on the cancer assessment unit once due to severe pain/discomfort (half in, half out, IYSWIM). I have never felt so embarrassed as when doctor on duty had to, ahem, poke around.

Things are moving but the piles have surfaced with a vengeance

These were not the 'roids i was looking for.

@balkanscot your weekend sounds amazing. Coffee and cake and hiking are 3 of the best things.

I'm going for a MRI on Tuesday and I'm already freaking out about it. I don't even get the results until the 13th. The fear and "what if..." thoughts are really stopping me enjoying my life. I'm having the MRI to check on calcification on the other breast. In my head I've already written it off as being cancer too. I know that's really unhealthy and I'm getting on my own nerves. I just feel unlucky.

@ChickandLamb I understand . I haven't even got one booked but the thought of doing one again makes me want to heave. Will be thinking of you Tuesday. And hope for good news for you.

Do you have any techniques to help manage the anxiety? I basically mainlined diazepam which is probably not a great idea but I'm not going to write off doing it again if I need it. I can't hack out of control anxiety on top of all this other shit.

@ChickandLamb I often get on my own nerves too, I do understand. I go over and over the 'what ifs' and even though I know it is silly, I can't stop myself. I'll also be thinking of you on Tuesday .

@PhannyPharts oh no, not haemorrhoids too, how awful. I had these in pregnancy and then more recently they were aggravated again by my ascites and have been bothersome since. Ice can help but be careful to wrap it in some cloth - I clenched an ice cube which then stuck to the pile and I pulled some skin off with it omg. I got some Proctosedyl ointment from the GP which eases them in combination with the Lidocaine. I am a ball of anxiety and take beta blockers to manage this and they really do take the edge off. I too would be interested in some techniques to calm myself down.

@FizzyOrange before the cancer my major health issue was always my anxiety. Weirdly aside the scans the anxiety is not a daily feature of my life at the moment. It's almost like the thing I feared and prepared for is happening so I'm not worrying about it. Never saw that coming. Plus diazepam when I need it and my existing meds.

Breathing techniques for me are a good start. Breathe in for three seconds hold for three breathe out for three just to calm the heart and physical reactions. Concentrate just on the breathing and the counting. It can help stop the spiral.

Yup I'm with @PhannyPharts on the breathing. I've had significant spinal issues before the C came along. Breathing exercises help me address pain and anxiety.
I've been using them when I'm peeing atm for the burny burn 🔥 and weirdly it does really help. It stops that full body tension thing.

The only thing that has helped with my anxiety through this has been mediation. I did try beta blockers, zopiclone etc but they didn't do much. I was not particularly into mediation before but I knew instantly at diagnosis that I would need more than chemo and drugs to get me through this. I find it really interesting that nobody has asked me about my mood, yet it's the major factor.

Has anyone watched the documentary Heal on Amazon prime? It's about mind body medicine and how our thoughts effect our physiology and immune system. It opened up a new way of thinking for me and has helped me to stay focused on the present and im now conscious about the thoughts I allow myself to have, which has reduced my anxiety massively.

I also deleted all my social media, news apps, watch only funny little or light hearted tv and generally limit all the negative stuff as much as I can, and feel much better because of it.