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Original poster

My sister has serious mental health problems - she is delusional. Advise please

60 replies

amscaredforher · 01/11/2007 20:23

Am a regular but have changed my name in case my sister ever finds out my usual name.

Well here goes: My older sister is 33, she is single (has never had a relationship and for the past 15 years or so has had episodes of severe anxiety/ irrational thoughts. Over the past 5 years these have become much worse and she has been hospitalised several times, once having taken an overdose and almost causing severe liver and kidney damage.

She has few friends, few social skills, a serious speech impediment, and is hugely overweight due to her anti-psychotic medication she also has terrible skin which flares up, and she picks at it causing scabs and infections. Her scalp is constantly flaking huge chunks. As you can probably picture, she looks terrible. It's so sad.

As yet the only diagnosis she has been given is 'anxiety disorder'. I suspect she is autistic (one of my boys is, as well as several members of my extended family). She was recently assessed for this at the Maudsley but she came out with a score of 8 when to be diagnosed she would need a score of 10.

She has been on a college course to develop skills for people with mental health problems. Recently she was asked for help by a college friend to shut down a computer. She did this perfectly fine, but then started worrying about it and eventually concluded that she had managed to corrupt the entire computer system and everyone in the college was going to lose their work and fail the exams. She also thought that she was going to go to prison for this and be expelled. SHE DID NOTHING TO THE COMPUTERS, it was all in her head

Then the other day she ordered some merchandise from the Robbie Williams website. She is a huge fan. She has now convinced herslef that she filled out the order form wrong has has completely messed up his website. But of course she didn't, and the stuff all arrived perfectly fine. But she thinks she is in trouble with the Robbie Williams website and the stuff wasn't properly ordered so she sent it all back today recorded delivery. She now wants me to reorder the same stuff (because I have a different surname).

It so so sad and she really believes that these things are true. Does anyone know what I can do to help her? Is she having delusions of grandeur - thinking that her small actions are having such a big effect?

I don't know whether to go along with it or to refuse to order the stuff. I have told her that there is no way she could have messed up the website but she just says 'I know what I did'.

Help.

OP posts:
RubySlippers · 01/11/2007 20:25

what an awful situation

MIND - mental health charity

good luck - sounds very hard

Peachy · 01/11/2007 20:28

I'mnot sure its quite delusions of grandeur but certainly she is seeing her aprt in the world as far more significant than it is, in a bad way,, poor lass

What does she have in the way of professional support? Clearly she ahs you and she is lucky for that as so many poeple with mental health issues are alone, but there needs to be adequate professional input as well if she is to have any future, does she get to go to ant day centres etc, as wella s recieving adequate support from the CPN etc?

PhoenixSoaring · 01/11/2007 20:29

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zippitippitoes · 01/11/2007 20:29

sorry I can't help...but just wanted to post as support. She needs some help...the gp is the usual place to start but from what you say she is already having some sort of intervention. I don't know what to say really. You could look on your local health authority/socila services website for an adult mental health care number and ask them.

CrowOnTheCradle · 01/11/2007 20:30

Is she under some kind of care? Does she have a CPN at least?

Her medication is not working. She needs to be assessed and treated. How is your relationship with her? Does she have lucid times? Is she aware of her own problems? Can you suggest she sees somebody? Her care team if there is one or a GP otherwise.

I am sorry. I know how worrying it is.

Original poster
amscaredforher · 01/11/2007 20:31

She has a support worker that is completely useless, and access to a day centre. Someone from the mental health team goes round regularly to make sure she is taking her medication. But she lives on her own in London and the rest of the family is miles away. We are trying to get her housed when she can be near a lot of the family, but she is considered 'low need' WTF!

My grandmother was schizophrenic and died in the 1950's as a result of receiving shock treatment She thought she was pregnant with the angel Gabriel

OP posts:
uptomyeyes · 01/11/2007 20:32

I'm not an expert, though I do work in the social care field, but I'm surprised that she is on anti-psychotic medication for an anxiety disorder. Does she have another diagnosis?

Original poster
amscaredforher · 01/11/2007 20:34

Thanks for all your input. Yes she is in the system, but it is failing her. When she ends up in hospital (it's like a horrid cycle of being released, getting gradually bad again, being admitted...)

She has had no therapy as such, only anti-psychotic drugs

OP posts:
zippitippitoes · 01/11/2007 20:34

does she have some sort of personality disorder?

Original poster
amscaredforher · 01/11/2007 20:34

no other diagnosis as yet uptomyeyes. They don't seem to think she needs one

OP posts:
Original poster
amscaredforher · 01/11/2007 20:35

I don't know zippi, how would that manifest?

OP posts:
Original poster
amscaredforher · 01/11/2007 20:36

Definitions of delusions of grandeur on the Web:

a delusion (common in paranoia) that you are much greater and more powerful and influential than you really are
wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

OP posts:
MamaMaiasaura · 01/11/2007 20:40

doesnt sound like delusions of granduer. It does sound like she has severe anxiety. What is the anti psych medication she is on? Does she have a cpn? Have they tried cognitive behavioural therpy or dialectal therapy with her? Helps go through thought processes, isolating how she thinks and allowing her greater control. Also there are talking therapies for anxiety as well.

You mentioned her OD, has she self harmed in the past or is it something she currently does.

Is hard as there are such a variety of mental disorders. I think it is important to look at what it is she is experiencing rather than wondering on a diagnosis if that makes sense.

MamaMaiasaura · 01/11/2007 20:41

zippi - that crossed my mind but is a very difficult diagnosis as it could in effect 'fit' many people.

Desiderata · 01/11/2007 20:41

What a sad situation.

From the OP, it certainly seems that her flashpoint at the moment is anything to do with computers.

We all harbour a slightly irrational fear that one keystroke might bring about the end of mankind. It seems that with your poor ds, this is manifesting as paranoia.

What do you think her reaction might be if her access to computers was limited/reduced? Can she/does she do any reading, or engage in activities that might offer a little bit more in the way of inner peace?

zippitippitoes · 01/11/2007 20:42

it was suggested I had this at one time..not that I was told just saw it on the computer recently when i went to the docs

borderline personality disorder

charliecat · 01/11/2007 20:43

Is she taking her medicine? (My brother is schizophrenic, same sort of life pattern as your sister. Isnt it BLOODY AWFUL?)
My email is [email protected] if you want to rant.

Original poster
amscaredforher · 01/11/2007 20:44

Thanks Awen, I'm not sure what the mediction is called but she often thinks she is ok and stops taking it. She does have a cpn, but she is so rubbish. She talked my sister out of moving near to the family so she could develop her own independence

She hasn't had any therapy at all. I think this is really what might help.

I'm not aware of any other self harming.

OP posts:
gingerninja · 01/11/2007 20:46

What a heart breaking story. I sympathise enormously. My sister is autistic and is so vulnerable and your story reminds me of that. In answer to your question, I'd order the stuff. So does she have mental health problems and learning disabilities? I have experience of Mencap for learning disabilities and they have a shared care scheme which you could get her involved in which is basically a befriending / respite service. This would mean that a registered volunteer shared carer would befriend her and they'd either go to the cinema, watch TV, walk etc etc what ever the interest of the recipent of the care enjoys. That may offer some help.

As for the mental health I'm affraid I don't have any advice sorry but I hope you get some help.

gingerninja · 01/11/2007 20:49

Just realised that you mentioned that one of your boys is autistic therefore you probably know all about mencap. Sorry about that.

haychEebeeJeebees · 01/11/2007 20:52

I would say, play along with her and the delusion.
I have some experience with working with mental health and its far easier to go along with their notions. She may feel a little calmer if you do it, and its not that much hassle. Also, she will turn to you for support in the future because you believed her before.

My dad is just starting to lose his marbles - so to speak. He has parkinsons for 10years now, and suffers hallucinations and confusion. He sees bugs everywhere, in his food, in the patio, in a graze on his skin, up his nose everywhere! His dp gets so cross with him because they arent real and she tells him so. I play along with it or humour him.
As you said, they are real things to them, bugs or wrecked computer systems. No matter what you say they wont believe you.
It works far better in my opinion, you have a calmer person to talk to and you can offer support, that they feel they need.

Original poster
amscaredforher · 01/11/2007 20:53

Thanks gingerninja, that's really useful I will look into that.

Charliecat, I have emailed you

OP posts:
MamaMaiasaura · 01/11/2007 20:54

JUst wondered if it was olanzapine as the side effect of weight gain often stops patients (especially female) not want to continue taking them. Understandable imo, altho the effects of suddenly stopping them is very detrimental to mental health.

Think it is awful that she is being discouraged from having family support network nearby. Has she got a CPA meeting planned so that perhaps you and your family can put forward concerns. If you are in a different health care area it might be helpful to see what support in your area would be available to her.

It is such a sad situation. It is nice that she has a caring loving family to support her as unfortunately this is often not the case.

Original poster
amscaredforher · 01/11/2007 20:55

Thanks Haychee. So sorry to hear about your dad, that must be so awful. Really good advice, it may well calm her down if I play along. Thanks

OP posts:
MamaMaiasaura · 01/11/2007 20:56

Can i say as a registered MH nurse that I disagree with Haychee's post entirely. I am not suggesting you become confrotational with your sister, but to continue to ground her will help. Is an entirely different situation to some one who is hallucinating. Which again you should not 'play along to' although there are certainly times that you should not directly challenge for safety reasons.