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Original poster

Should i be concerned -Zero libido?

30 replies

Richtea · 31/10/2007 22:28

Have never had a good libido but the last 5 years or so it has practically vanished completely.During this time i have had dc so have 'done' it at some point but i really don't have any interest anymore.

I even came off the pill(god knows why i was on it?)as i thought it might help but it hasn't .
Saw the nurse today and mentioned it and she said it was not normal and i am young so isn't the norm and i should see a GP about it, and i left feeling even more abnormal.

OP posts:
Original poster
Richtea · 31/10/2007 22:37

It has reached a point where i don't ever think about it.

Wish i could take a magic pill or something.

OP posts:
pinkteddy · 31/10/2007 22:48

How old are your dcs? Could it be related to tiredness? Are you breastfeeding?

Original poster
Richtea · 31/10/2007 23:00

Hi dc are 2 and 6,yes i am tired most of the time tbh but i don't think it is just that.
No not bf.

OP posts:
pinkteddy · 31/10/2007 23:05

Do you get much time to spend alone with your partner? Maybe you need some 'grown up' time? How does your DP/DH feel about it? Maybe you should go to GP if only to rule out any physical cause?

pinkteddy · 31/10/2007 23:07

sorry didn't mean to be 20 questions - just some thoughts!

Original poster
Richtea · 31/10/2007 23:08

We don't get any time alone really only a couple of hours in the evening when dc are in bed and we are both shattered(although dp would soon jump)He is very supportive about it for which i am very lucky.

OP posts:
Original poster
Richtea · 31/10/2007 23:11

What is anything could be done if i went to my GP ,i doubt there is anything.

OP posts:
pinkteddy · 31/10/2007 23:17

S/he could take some blood tests and see if any hormone issues?? It could be something very simple. I'm guessing as no expert. If nothing physically wrong you could be referred to a pyschosexual counsellor.

IndulgeMePlease · 31/10/2007 23:17

Tiredness, responsibility and lack of 'couple time' are all passion-zappers, in my experience. I was starting to feel just like you, not interested at all, and it was starting to worry me. So, I decided to book a few days off work, got DH to do the same, organised some childcare for a few hours today and we spent the whole time in bed.

No pressure for shennanigans, just talking, eating bacon sandwiches, laughing, playing silly 'mind-reading' games...and well, before we knew it... shennanigans. I felt all free, like I did pre-DC, and though it soon wore off (after a baby strop at teatime and a toddler bedtime escapee)and there'll definitely be no more on the cards tonight, it was really worth it.

Would you get the opportunity to do something similar?

Original poster
Richtea · 31/10/2007 23:20

I can't switch off from the housework and the dc so i would just worry if we had a few hours off and would be difficult to do anyway.

Thanks for your suggestions ,i must go to bed i am so tired.
will catch up tomorrow.

OP posts:
IndulgeMePlease · 31/10/2007 23:44

Oh Richtea, are you feeling depressed at all? Sorry to just come right out with it, but feeling unable to switch off from housework and children sounds like you might be suffering a bit? If so, or you think stress/anxiety is a problem, there is LOADS of support on here from people who have been through it too. I think everyone's advice is usually to discuss it with your GP and take it from there.

Otherwise, other physical causes might be anaemia or thyroid problems, both of which can be detected by a bloodtest.

I'm sorry if my suggestions sounded flippant if you're really knackered...perhaps just a few hours off to just SLEEP might be a start?

Good luck, hope that you get to the bottom of it soon.

Original poster
Richtea · 01/11/2007 23:21

Thanks Induldgemeplease

Yes i have depression but i didn't think it would be the sole reason for this.
Sorry i should have said earlier.

OP posts:
Original poster
Richtea · 01/11/2007 23:30

Have only just got on here to post.

Even when i'm not in a depressed state i feel nothing.

OP posts:
handlemecarefully · 01/11/2007 23:37

I reckon it is relatively normal but basically taboo (hence the assumption that it is abnormal)

paulaplumpbottom · 01/11/2007 23:39

I think when you have kids its probably more "normal" than people think

handlemecarefully · 01/11/2007 23:41

I think it is positively rife (judging from the confidences I have shared with some of my close friends...the rampant ones are the minority)

gibberish · 01/11/2007 23:42

I'm pretty much the same, much to dh's disappointment. I've been like this for years though so can't really blame it on anything. It's just me. I really can't be bothered with it.

I have found though that the more we 'do it' the more I feel like it. The less we do, the less I feel like it. Never thought that it should be mentioned to a doctor though... I am 38 btw.

Original poster
Richtea · 01/11/2007 23:44

I know a lot of women lose some libido but to this extent?

I can't even be arsed to do a spot of gusset typing

OP posts:
southeastastra · 01/11/2007 23:44

dont take the pill

Original poster
Richtea · 01/11/2007 23:45

I don't now but it hasn't helped.

OP posts:
handlemecarefully · 01/11/2007 23:46

Oh God it truly wouldn't bother me if I never had sex (either with dh or 'solo') for the rest of my life. The only thing that concerns me is that I feel I am short changing dh...

I'm totally with Boy George who declared that he would rather have a nice hot cup of cha

gibberish · 01/11/2007 23:46

I'm not on the pill SEA. Doesn't make a jot of difference to me at least. I need a hormone injection. Or Josh Holloway.

gibberish · 01/11/2007 23:47

Oh me too HMC!

Original poster
Richtea · 01/11/2007 23:47

So i am really not alone then.

lol @ BoyGeorge

OP posts:
southeastastra · 01/11/2007 23:48

when did you come off the pill

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