How do I cure Early Waking Insomnia?!

[Curtainsdrawn]

I’m desperate!
Every morning like clockwork, I wake at 4:30am. I go to sleep at 10pm, so it’s a decent amount of sleep but not nearly enough for me, and I’m permanently exhausted. I look after two preschool DC all day, and I feel almost panicked; I NEED this extra energy that I’m somehow depriving myself of!
As soon as I start waking up I feel dread, because I just know it’s crazy early yet again.

I don’t drink alcohol or caffeine, or smoke. I don’t take any medication and I do a 30 min HIIT on YouTube every morning before the kids are up. I eat healthily and my weight is fine, so I can’t see a physical reason why this happens.

When I wake early I usually try lying for about an hour to get back to sleep (sometimes listening to calming music) but after that I give in and just read (or browse MN!) until the alarm goes off.

Has anyone cured themselves of this, or found a way to improve it?! I feel like it’s slowly killing me, I’m so so tired and it’s just torturous to wake so early and know it’ll be a tougher day yet again thanks to the fatigue.

I wish you all good luck tonight . My eyes are heavy already which seems to be my new normal. I flake out about now and it ruins me , i have a few days each month I sleep solid . I think exhaustion just takes over and I crash but mainly I'm up through the night . Doesn't help I work 3 night shifts a week 10pm-7am . I know this is the root of the problem .

I’ve been taking diazepam since 2014 after a traumatic event and I was diagnosed with severe anxiety. At my worst I was taking 3 x 5mg tablets day and have got it down to the lowest dosage and my next aim it to stop them completely. I have done this with gabapentin too ( i also have fibromyalgia) but to stop them is scary when my anxiety is through the roof again with Coronavirus.

Hope everyone has a good night.

Gumbo if you are nodding off at 9pm and waking at 4.30am that’s 7.5 hours sleep which I would be only too happy with.

My issue is I don’t fall asleep without Melatonin. Without I can go 48 hours without sleep then sleep for 45 minutes then I am awake again.
I average according to my fit bit between 4 hrs15 mins to 4 hours 40 mins per night.

The equivalent of you going to bed at 9pm and setting your alarm for 1.15am then staying awake till 9pm
Then doing that for years.

I worry about dementia through lack of sleep
I wonder if I took HRT would that help me (unfortunately my doctors surgeries don’t prescribe HRT
I am sure it is purely hormonal in my case. I just wish I could find what I was lacking/getting too much of and take a pill to bring it in line.

dontdisturbmenow. How do you find 10mg of Melatonin.
I tried 10mg but I felt groggy the next day. If I am lucky I tend to have about a 1/3 of a 10mg pill then at about 6am I have another 1/3 which sometimes gives me another hour or 2. Most of the time it doesn’t work and I feel bad about wasting a 1/3 of a pill given how hard it is to get hold of in this country
Is there any studies about the long term effects of Melatonin
I have only seen good stuff about it, just wondered about any bad side effect

@Bedsheets4knickers, if you are in the UK(and many other countries), there is no way, absolutely no way this is a legitimate pharmacy. You would need a GP prescribing it. Valium can nowadays only be prescribed for anxiety as a short term remedy. You can also only get do much in one prescription because of its street value.

@Redcrayons, that's interesting. I think I will try next. Weight gain is an issue for me as really really don't want to gain more. Can I ask if it was due to increase hunger or just random gain? I struggle to keep my weight down (not overweight at all but being slim is important to me) because of feeling constantly exhausted so was hoping that with more energy I would crave good less.

@Oliversmumsarmy, it works well to fall asleep, never have an issue now, and really should now try to do without. It doesn't cause me drowsiness next day. I too did wonder about long term effects so would rather stop it if I could.

As you wear a Fitbit, can I ask how much deep sleep you average a night? I sleep from 9:30am to 5:30 (after waking up at 4am every day), but it average 50mns and that just isnt enough. When I get 1h30 for 3 days, so feel like I could climb the Everest, but that has only happened 2 or 3 times in the last 4 years.

Definitely try hrt, many say it was life changing for them. It wasn't for me at all and actually made me sleep even worse! I think it especially help when sleep is disturbed by night sweats but that's not the case for me, I o my gave a very mild one at 4am. My problem is not sinking into deep sleep despite being the least stressed I've ever been in my life!

If you are any where close to menopause then HRT can really help a lot with sleep.

dontdisturbmenow

Usually I get around 4 hours 20mins-4 hours 40 mins

Usually around 1hour deep sleep and 1 hour dream sleep. And a couple of hours of light sleep.
If I get 8 hours (once per year) 2 hours deep and rem sleep and 4 hours light sleep I feel like I can do anything.
Ad the weight drops off me.

Just so sick of feeling like I am thinking through fog and being so knackered I can’t do what I need to do.

@Oliversmumsarmy, we get about the same amount of DS, I get a little more REM, but about 5 hours of light sleep.

I never had 2h DS in the last 5 years since I had my first Fitbit. I can imagine how wonderful that must feel.

I used to rarely feel hungry but since sleeping poorly, I am hungry from the moment I wake up to going to sleep. They do say that poor sleep reduced the hormones that gives you the feeling of being full so it's not surprising.

Like you, the frustration of knowing the person I am when I sleep well yet being stuck in a life that makes everything an effort is at times overwhelming but I also have got used to it to done extent. It's just hard to explain it to people because the impact of poor sleep is not an illness of its own and most people don't really understand.

The main misconception is the thinking that just one better night sleep takes it all away. It is when you normally sleep well and have the few occasional bad nights, but when it's chronic, it takes more than one good night to feel like you can conquer the world.

I keep hope though. My mum was just the sane during the menopause but went back to sleeping well afterwards. She keeps telling me to be patient, so I try!

Snap! I'm waking every morning at 4.32 on the dot. Doesn't matter what time I go to sleep. I even took an antihistamine last night and still I'm awake.
My head won't switch off once I'm awake so know it's stress related. I listen to a podcast and put a timer on so it turns itself off after a while but then I'm awake again.
Don't know what to do, but can't survive on this little sleep for much longer 😖

Morning all. I did a sleep therapy course this summer as I was a habitual 3.30 am waker. I massively resented the way it was wreaking havoc on my energy levels and increasingly how frustrated I was becoming.

In brief, I learnt it is that we naturally produce melatonin to get to sleep and then as we approach morning serotonin is released to help us wake. But adrenaline is the real shitter here in that it you have adrenaline in the night then it cannot be counteracted my melatonin.

The adrenaline rush can be the product of stress, as so many people have mentioned, or simply the habit of waking followed by the panic of oh shit here we go again

My major take homes from the course have been to

• take time to unwind from the day in the evening e.g. shower, nice skin routine
• meditate for 10 - 20 mins on a tough day to really consciously relax
• sleep affirmations whenever I know I am stressed. Just keep telling myself my body knows how to sleep and to allow it to do its job
• no alcohol on days I am stressed out
• not look at my phone from 9.30pm until 6am so my body knows my sleep is always protected between these hours
• colour breathing to relax whenever I feel stressed, day or night
• exervise in the day
• never fall asleep on the sofa. My bed is where I enjoy sleep (I always used to as I was exhaustwd)

The 6 week course helped me embed these techniques over time. So pretty much CBT.

These are no quick fix solutions but the above have helped me build a far better mind frame to sleep which I know I have to adopt to restore lovely sleep. I think having children 10 years ago, getting a big promotion and moving have all led to poor habits around sleep that I came to accept and now I reject them.

I still slip but am kind to myself when I do.

For example, I have really struggled this week following the suicide of an amazing friend. After a couple of dreadful nights I have gone back through everything I have listed above and last night slept solidly from 10pm till 5. For me this is a big improvement and builds my confidence around my sleep, reminding me I can support my sleep and am not just doomed.

Morning all!
I’ve been awake since 4.20am perusing the internet.:-(
Once the clocks change I struggle, I’m falling asleep by 9pm but waking early because my body has had enough sleep.
I don’t know how to solve it? I’ve no trouble falling asleep but seem to have very vivid dreams all of the time... 2 nights ago was a re-run on my divorce.last nights offering was my neighbour had repaired their garden and now it was lovely... so no particular awful themes! I’m not stressed ( apart from the usual covid worries). Help!?!

I noticed a difference in the first proper lock down, I slept later as it was so quiet outside, so I do think it’s partly noise related. I wish I could find some really comfortable ear plugs.

I do the 4-7-8 breathing technique, which seems to focus my mind and I sometimes drift back off.

Podcasts help but not practical as they wake DH. So if I’m really desperate I move to another room and listen until I doze off.

I take night nurse too if I know I need a really good nights sleep.

So glad to hear I’m not the only one!
I often wake between 3.30am and 5.30am. Sometimes I can go back to sleep by doing some deep breathing. Other time’s I lie awake worrying about stuff which makes me feel really anxious. Then I read a book to calm down, which then wakes DH up!

I do try Night Nurse now and again which does help me reset.

I do tend to have a cup of decaf tea at 8pm which leads me to want a wee in the middle of the night. Must stop this!
@DangoDays where did you do the sleep therapy course? It sounds great!

Didn’t wake until 5.30am today so I’ve had a lie in 🙄😂

@DangoDays
So sorry to hear about your friend 💐

Thanks @shoogal

Glad you had a lie in

It was the total sleep reset programme

It does cost but I think it is worth it

@DangoDays
Thank you, I will check it out

If it’s later than 4.30 when I wake then I get up because If I go back to sleep I have very vivid disturbing dreams. I can’t stay in bed once I’m awake, I just really want to get up.
I just accept this as my natural bodyclock and go to bed early. It’s antisocial but as this thread shows, quite common.

I wrote above that I'd try the Sleepedy app and report back (I had a different user name then). With Sleepedy you record your data on your phone and a coach is available if you have questions, about 50 pounds a month.
I feel it has a problem in that you have to record your sleep time and wake time as you have a limited sleep window you must stick to. After 3 weeks I am giving up as I see no improvement. Having to know your sleep time so you can input it seems to be making me more paranoid about sleep not less. The coach is there (someone in Norway for me) and pops up now and again - but I've had sleep issues for ever and whilst this might reset most people's clocks it hasn't worked for me so far.
I have been looking at The Sleep Coach School youtube videos and they are more helpful imv and are free!

10pm is early for an adult. Try 11pm

Similar here, I just consider it bonus internet time now!

There are so many videos
This is a good youtube video - Chrisanne

@Words

The Calm app has some really relaxing breathing and meditation type exercises, including one specifically aimed at getting back to sleep.

I was hugely sceptical- but am now a convert :)

This "back to sleep" meditation on the Calm app helps me. I hardly ever hear the end of it.

I have this although in my case I’m pretty sure it’s menopause related. It’s exacerbated by the fact my DH gets up at 5.30 so if I have dozed off again his alarm wakes me up again. At the weekend I can get back to sleep again. I’m currently listening to a Podcast on Audible about sleep - although no mention of menopause as a factor so far ( its with David Baddiel who seems to suffer with a variety of issues). No caffeine after noon seems to be the advice.Meditation & breathing exercises might help lull you back. David Baddiel has some sort of weighted blanket and white noise device - none of which I’ve tried. Natural remedies like Valerian might help some people - there is a drink the Medicinal Chef ( Dale Pinnock) has where you steep Camomile tea bags in hot milk then add Valerian drops and some cocoa - didn’t work for me. 😩. I definitely think worrying about it is counter productive. If you start counting how many hours you could get if only you fell asleep this second or thinking “ I’m going to be so tired” then your brain isn’t going to rest is it? No more advice I’m afraid but check out the sleep podcast if you can - it’s free on Audible.

So sorry to hear about you loss DangoDays.

The adrenaline rush can be the product of stress, as so many people have mentioned, or simply the habit of waking followed by the panic of oh shit here we go again Indeed, adrenalin rush also very much caused by the menopause. When the ovaries stop releasing oestrogen, this function can be undertaken by the adrenal glands that will release some oestrogen but with it cortisol which gives the adrenalin rush feeling.

Sadly, everything recommended by the sleep therapy course is what I do already and did even before having issues. What I've learned is that we are creatures of habits and what I needed to do 2as built an association between a habit and sleep.

As already suggested, for me it was breathing exercise. Like every habit it took some time for the two to become an association but I am almost fully there now. I have done breathing/relaxing exercise for months before going to sleep and that helps me drifting again at 4am almost every time now.

I have tried different apps and audio and definitely ring Calm the best. Tamara has Avery calming voice and her daily exercise is brilliant.

It hasn't sorted me out because my sleep is still mainly made up of light sleep but it does help psychologically to not be wide awake at 4am.