Where do I start in getting my health back?

[Dillo10]

10 years ago I started getting headaches and feeling "odd" - off balance, tired etc. Cue medical investigations for months = all normal. Prescribed ADs which really helped take the edge off it all. Managed 8 years of life working, socialising while feeling slightly odd still but it wasn't stopping me do anything.

2 years ago I had another health scare. I developed anxiety which slowly spread to these other symptoms i'd had for years. I got obsessed with finding an answer on health forums, went to maybe 10 different alternative therapists, read 20 books on anxiety, health, emotions and many other things.

No change, if anything I am worse. Stopped working, socialise only when I have to and generally want to escape for 90% of the time. I cry every single day. I know I've made it worse by focusing on it so much but once I started I couldn't stop. I used to have an almost constant low level headache and barely notice it. Now I cry and panic over a slight pain and it inevitably becomes a huge debilitating headache from all the tension I produce.

Met DH 3 years ago and really feel like he only knew the "real me" for a few months before I turned into this mess of a person.

I am now pregnant, off my ADs (they had stopped helping anyway) and need to find a way to function like a normal human again before my baby arrives. I know logically that I don't have to feel this bad, that I've made this problem bigger by scaring myself. But where do I start in undoing this?

I hope it makes sense.

When I say no change I mean the books and stuff haven't helped. There has been a change in the sense that I am 100x worse and simply can't function like I used to

I would highly recommend some CBT. It hugely helped me with my health anxiety.

Oh and congrats on your pregnancy.

I don't know very much, but wondered what are your basics like, as a no-risk place to start making positive changes?

So:
Sleep
Food
Exercise
Hydration
Relaxation

@RepeatSwan

Sleep is fine when my restless legs aren't bad. If anything I could sleep for 24 hours

Food is quite carb heavy but enough fruit and veggies id say

I do no exercise because my odd lightheadedness has become intense dizziness that is present most of the time :( Makes it hard to even go for a walk

Hydration could be better

Relaxation is ZERO. I have tried every type of hypnosis, meditation and I cannot bear any of it I feel way too anxious all the time and the little voice in my head just says it won't make a difference to relax

Read this - lots of very small changes that can make a massive difference

It feels to me like I could cope with anything until I added a layer of anxiety which heightens all my physical symptoms and is what is holding me back

I get dizzy a lot but I find I am fine swimming, not the easisest time to try that with covid around but I found that very beneficial.

General counselling may help you talk about issues and may help.

Your dr should have a number you can ring to access counselling & cbt.

[quote Dillo10]@RepeatSwan

Sleep is fine when my restless legs aren't bad. If anything I could sleep for 24 hours

Food is quite carb heavy but enough fruit and veggies id say

I do no exercise because my odd lightheadedness has become intense dizziness that is present most of the time :( Makes it hard to even go for a walk

Hydration could be better

Relaxation is ZERO. I have tried every type of hypnosis, meditation and I cannot bear any of it I feel way too anxious all the time and the little voice in my head just says it won't make a difference to relax[/quote]
So water is something you could improve from tomorrow. Just schedule eight times to drink a glass of water.

Relaxation - maybe find something else, like any craft or reading or podcasts?

Exercise - this sounds harder - I don't have any knowledge!

Good luck. I do think keeping on making small changes can get you a long way after e.g. six months. If you've been ill so long then it would be worth investing months getting better. Hope you get somewhere

Seeing a Psychologist would help. You probably need to address the anxiety and fixation on your health.

I do think I need to see a psychologist.

I guess I'm stuck between so many doctors telling me "it's all in your head"

And genuinely feeling like there is something wrong with me physically

Which means I tend to neglect my physical health as I don't believe changes will help

The basics I listed would help whether it is psychological or physical, so are always worth doing.

For example poor hydration increases stressed feelings and affects physical health.

So you could put yourself on a healthier regime alongside seeking psychological help.

My relative with a diagnosed MH condition - their MH team also advised all the basics e.g. cutting out caffeine to reduce anxious feelings.

Thanks @RepeatSwan I am sure you are right.

Your advice is similar to the person who recommended Dr Chaterjee. I'm going to read his book Feel Good in 5 which suggests 3x5 minutes a day where you do something for your body, heart and soul (or something like that) And he focuses on sleep, diet , hydration too. And correct breathing. But just very small daily changes rather than big scary commitments.

I will let you know how I get on. Thanks again

I hope you make good steps, get support too, and feel better soon

Well anxiety’s got nowhere else to live but your head. I stayed with a colleague having a panic attack who was convinced she was paralysed from the waist down.

Luckily we work in healthcare so we talked her down till her mum came.

@TheoSawUs

I would highly recommend some CBT. It hugely helped me with my health anxiety.

This. Via your GP or you could buy some sessions privately. Check out the BABCP website for more info and for trained and accredited therapists in your area

CBT for health anxiety could help you a lot. If you are in England you can self refer to your local IAPT service or if you can afford private you can look for a CBT therapist or psychologist on the BABCP register. If you google CBT for health anxiety you'll find some leaflets and information about it

Have you thought of cutting out wheat? (Replace with oats, rice, etc.). Read Novak Djokovik's story. This made a huge difference to my life - has given me loads more energy, stopped my restless legs/tingling, etc.

Health anxiety can present with physical symptoms.

Anti depressants will help.

CBT too.

Hi OP, great advice above! I'd just add (as I'm also pregnant at the moment) that you are high-priority for MH support with a baby on the way. There should be very quick waiting times and you should find getting a referral easier - this is because hormonal changes and the pressure of a new baby can destabilise MH quite fast so they want you to be well-supported. So it would definitely be worth seeing what your GP can do in terms of professional support for the anxiety piece. Best wishes!

Yes @WoolyMammoth55 I really do feel things have become unmanageable since becoming pregnant, emotions are all over the place and I'm feeling lots of new symptoms and sensations which is really difficult for my health anxiety.

I have reached out to my midwife but haven't heard anything back. My GP is sadly a bit useless I never speak to the same person twice and have to explain everything from the beginning every time.

I'll try my midwife again I suppose.

Keep chasing.

I really recommend taking care of the basics. Make sure you take a multi vitamin, make sure your diet is ok. Are your iron levels ok? Try to do some form of exercise a day. Even a short walk outside in fresh air is possible while pregnant. Also cut down of caffeine and alcohol.

You do have my sympathies. I felt pretty dreadful physically after having my DC until the last 18 months or so. I put it down to iron deficiency.

@Fatted my iron levels were fine 10 years ago, haven't had them done since - perhaps I should. I've been diagnosed with low b12, used a spray for a while and was told my b12 was now fine. But have read on mumsnet that you can have functional b12 deficiency which means you have all the symptoms even with a high result because you can't use the b12 and need injections? Im not sure how I would convince my GP of this though as it sounds like a long shot! Going to get my thyroid tested too, will insist on that I think.

I basically feel like I don't have enough oxygen in my head, my vision is off, can't explain it any other way. The headaches come and go. My energy levels are zero most of the time. Exercise is an issue because I feel so terrible afterwards but I could swim more.
Thank you for your advice ! I try to act normally with friends and family so only DH really knows I feel this bad :(

I think you already know that you have severe health anxiety. Obviously you are right to talk to the gp, because it's their job to rule out other conditions, so it's a good idea to try to find one you trust.

I really understand how hard this is to deal with, because I have experienced the same myself, and there is a huge stigma. I would now describe the life-altering symptoms I had as "psychosomatic". This does NOT mean I was lazy, or selfish, or that it was "all in my head". The whole point of psychosomatic illness is that it's not all in your head, it's your head and body getting into a terrible feedback loop. Anxiety and stress itself causes physical effects, like diarrhea, higher heart rate, tingling sensations, fatigue. Focusing on those symptoms makes them stronger. Worrying about them obviously increases anxiety and stress.

The other thing about psychosomatic illness, is that it is often linked to past traumatic events. Trauma, particularly in childhood or in close relationships, without adequate support, means people squash down strong emotions, and mentally cut themselves of from the physical sensation of those emotions and memories. But the pain and fear is still there. For me, instead of realising I was dealing with a flashback to terror or horror, I thought that I was experiencing physical pain and unexplained symptoms.

It is curable - the difference between my life then and now is like night and day. A good psychotherapist can help with this; make sure that it's one who has experience of successfully treating these issues.