Where do I start in getting my health back?

[Dillo10]

10 years ago I started getting headaches and feeling "odd" - off balance, tired etc. Cue medical investigations for months = all normal. Prescribed ADs which really helped take the edge off it all. Managed 8 years of life working, socialising while feeling slightly odd still but it wasn't stopping me do anything.

2 years ago I had another health scare. I developed anxiety which slowly spread to these other symptoms i'd had for years. I got obsessed with finding an answer on health forums, went to maybe 10 different alternative therapists, read 20 books on anxiety, health, emotions and many other things.

No change, if anything I am worse. Stopped working, socialise only when I have to and generally want to escape for 90% of the time. I cry every single day. I know I've made it worse by focusing on it so much but once I started I couldn't stop. I used to have an almost constant low level headache and barely notice it. Now I cry and panic over a slight pain and it inevitably becomes a huge debilitating headache from all the tension I produce.

Met DH 3 years ago and really feel like he only knew the "real me" for a few months before I turned into this mess of a person.

I am now pregnant, off my ADs (they had stopped helping anyway) and need to find a way to function like a normal human again before my baby arrives. I know logically that I don't have to feel this bad, that I've made this problem bigger by scaring myself. But where do I start in undoing this?

I hope it makes sense.

To add: apart from the psychological side, you need to address the physical side in parallel. If you don't exercise at all, you will have low muscle tone, lung capacity etc. Tackling these will help.

I was extremely deconditioned at my worst, never going out, and spent a year bit by bit building up fitness. My therapist increased my activity by 20% per week, to start with an exercise session was just walking once round the garden! As I became stronger we tackled the emotional issues.

Think about what gentle exercise you could do safely. Maybe a chair-based exercise class from YouTube? Some floor based stretches? Build it into your day so you do it little and often, to build up strength.

Also you could try singing. It's great for your mood and for encouraging deep breathing, which as you know is helpful for anxiety.

@thinkingg I could definitely do more I just get very frustrated at how dizzy and tired I get and it makes me very sad and I give up. Regardless of all this I need to be exercising, you are right. Whatever is "wrong" with me would have killed me by now (10 years!) if it was dangerous .. that's what I need to tell myself.

Thanks for your last message too I will read it carefully to understand the emotional part and see if I can find the right therapist.

And also @Thinkingg it is wonderful to hear that your life is no longer dominated by your health worries. That seems a long way away for me but hearing it is possible means alot.

I felt like this about 16 years ago. I woke one night with a searing pain in my back and passed out. Got taken to A&E and given a CT scan of my head because I passed out again whilst lying flat. Nothing untoward on scan so they kept me in for a week and called it post-viral syndrome. From that week on I developed migraines. I had them nearly every single days for years. They affected my vision. Every footstep made my brain hurt. I had a few days out of the fog where I felt ok but then the headaches would be back. I thought I had a brain tumour, or any number of illnesses that might cause headaches. It was really debilitating and no GP would take me seriously until one day I had a visual migraine aura. Had no idea what it was and someone took me to A&E as one of my eyes stopped moving. They diagnosed me with classic migraine with aura. This literally went on for years, but then stopped when I moved house and job. I had several theories at the time. I thought the CT scan had cause it, or the virus caused it, or the flicker from my computer, laptop or fluorescent lights at work. I still have no idea, but when I moved house and job they mostly disappeared and I had a good 10 years of feeling fine, worrying less about every twinge. I wonder if something in your environment is affecting your health. Have you found that staying elsewhere improves your mood/headaches? Another idea, do you have lots of silver fillings? They can leak mercury (especially if they are cracked/chipped, and can cause ill health.

@LetMeVent no fillings at all. And no change in different environments, including stopping work entirely for a year :(