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Original poster

Question about emetophobia - is anyone awake to give some advice?

29 replies

Jessicatmagnificat · 05/10/2007 00:06

I have had a phobia about being sick for many years, but it has become a real problem since my DD was born nearly a year ago. This is mainly because she occasionally picks up a tummy bug, and I find this difficult to deal with and am extremely frightened of catching it myself (though by and large, we are healthy).

I find that I have a continual underlying anxiety about this. Sometimes it affects my appetite, and sometimes I feel panicky at night and this is why I am on MN now!

I have seen some other threads on MN about this phobia, so thought that others might have some advice to offer. Do you know of any treatments that may help? Would it be worth approaching my GP for support, or would they just tell me to pull myself together? How do others wtih this stupid phobia cope with their children being ill?

OP posts:
sKerryMum · 05/10/2007 00:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Jessicatmagnificat · 05/10/2007 00:20

Thanks for the reply. My heart goes out to you being on your own in that situation. I feel very lucky to have a supportive DH and mum.

OP posts:
Califright · 05/10/2007 00:22

This reply has been deleted

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Ellbell · 05/10/2007 00:28

Jessicat. I'm sorry to hear you have this. I am a fellow sufferer and don't (I'm afraid) have much in the way of advice. My technique is to hide in another room till it's all over. However, I do sympathise with the panic symptoms. I was picking dd up from Rainbows on Monday and overheard a guy telling someone else that his wife had been sick at the weekend. That was it... I was trying to work out the chances of his wife having breathed on her dd and her dd having breathed on my dd and then my dd bringing the bug home and giving it to me and other dd (dh can look after himself [unsympathetic emoticon]). I have been thinking about it all week. It sounds totally ridiculous when you write it down like that, but it does take over your life.

I have tried counselling, but it didn't do much to help in my case. But I think that 'proper' CBT would be more helpful. My counsellor just tried to convince me that it wasn't infectious, which is (a) crap and (b) not that reassuring when other people's sick scares me as much as my own. However, this is a relatively common phobia, so if you go to your GP it is likely s/he will be sympathetic and may have some suggestions.

Califrau may be along in a minute. She has some good practical suggestions, such a sucking mints and always having a big towel to hand to wrap sick child in in order to avoid contact but still be able to give a hug.

My final piece of reassurance is that it does get easier as they get older. My dds got quite good at aiming it down the toilet from the age of about 3. I feel awful about the fact that I am not able to help them more and I hate the way that I obsess about this, but I do just about manage it most of the time.

Good luck.

Ellbell · 05/10/2007 00:29

See... there she is !

Original poster
Jessicatmagnificat · 05/10/2007 00:35

Thanks for this guys! It's good to know I'm not alone with this. Do you think my GP would give me anti-emetics which I could take to put my mind at rest? I know I was given them when I was in labour, and found them brilliant.

Do any of you have any experience of going to your GPs with this problem? I am embarrassed about it, and aware that it's not a serious physical illness.

OP posts:
Califright · 05/10/2007 00:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ellbell · 05/10/2007 22:22

Oh god, oh god...

DD2 was a bit 'off' tonight after school (crying for nowt, that sort of thing) and kept saying she was tired. However, insisted she was OK and ate her tea. But she went to bed at 7.00 and fell fast asleep. Now she says she is feeling sick. I am shaking and panicking. Dh is here, but he has to go to work tomorrow. I am so scared. And just when I was figuring it would be safe after the Rainbows incident.

I really really wish I could be laid back about this... but I can't. Califrau? Anyone? You about for some hand-holding?

Ellbell · 05/10/2007 22:32

She appears to have gone back to sleep. (And hasn't been sick.) I am a wreck. Dh has just looked at me as if I'm mad and said 'But she's fine'. Which is really not the point...

Aaargh! I hate this. I hate myself for being so pathetic over this.

imaginaryfriend · 05/10/2007 22:41

You're not pathetic. Well, if you are, I am too!

My dd's had a weird tummy all week actually, mostly seems to be tummy ache but it hasn't turned into anything. On Wednesday evening I was in a panic as she didn't eat her dinner, lay on the sofa looking pale and cried throughout the bath. But she wasn't sick. Thursday evening she had tummy ache again and the same this evening.

It's so nerve-wracking.

Ellbell · 05/10/2007 22:45

Hello I.F. I have now [tmi alert] got the shits. I know it's just fear. Happens every time. But it still freaks me out. Hope your dd is OK. I have an ear frantically trained on dd2's bedroom door....

pinkbubble · 05/10/2007 23:05

Poor poor you! I too suffer big time, and I know only to well what that over sensitive ear at DDs room can be like, I have spent many a night not going to bed, just incase I woke them(this may induce v*t) In our old house refused to go to the loo (which was upstairs) again incase I woke DDs - so I used a jug in the kitchen!- luckily now we have a downstairs loo, although sometimes I do get panicky with the fan so do everything in the dark!

Why did someone invent this awful phobia....

What makes it so worse for me is that I work in the same school as DDs, so I know full well if anyone is off in ther class, or if a bug is going round the sch!

Ellbell · 05/10/2007 23:14

Thanks pinkbubble. At Rainbows on Monday the conversation between the dad whose wife had been sick and the other mum went on to say that lots of kids at their school (not the same one as dd's) had had it, and that the school had sent a note round to say that it was important to keep anyone who had it off school for at least 48 hours because it was 'airborne'. I have just tried to explain to dh my fears about this airborne bug going from Rainbows mum to Rainbow dd to my dd2 to me/dd1... but he just looked a bit .

I feel so queasy now. Aaaargh! Poor you creeping about and weeing in a jug. I couldn't do that because of the effect that the panic has on my bowels.

Ellbell · 05/10/2007 23:24

I am going to bed now, in the hope that if I go to sleep I can pretend it's not happening. I feel like shaking myself and telling myself to 'grow up'. Thanks for talking to me imaginaryfriend and pinkbubbles.

Califright · 05/10/2007 23:29

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pinkbubble · 05/10/2007 23:31

It is a horrid horrid thing to have!. DH has a certain amount of patience with me, but does wear thin when I am panicking for no reason! As soon as anyone has been ill, he just takes over and sorts it out![phew] Trouble is he works away sometimes, and then its like dread on earth! I think I can pin point anyone talking about sickness in a radius of 50metres!seriously! Anyone dare mention it around me!

To be honest I have a dilema hanging over me now - DD3 has a friend sleeping over tomorrow night(hate sleep overs) DD gave invitation over to child, when I suddenly realised that other child(sister) of friend that DD had asked was not at school - Mother just replied oh she has a cold and has been sick! So basically I have been panicking since Tuesday about a) whether DD is going to get ill from DF sister, or if dear friend comes to our house is she going to be ill here!

Ellbell · 05/10/2007 23:33

Oh god, pinkbubble (yes, I'm still here... been laughing at Cali's mountain lion dilemma). That would freak me out too. Yes, my dh is just like yours. Fine when the worst happens, but doesn't understand why a throwaway comment at sodding Rainbows can make me freak out for a week. Wish me luck!

pinkbubble · 05/10/2007 23:36

Ok I wish you luck. I have all my fingers and toes crossed that DD sleeps all night and does not wake up, so can you wish me luck tomorrow night with dreaded sleep over -(oh why did I promise!!!!!)

Ellbell · 05/10/2007 23:36

Cali... I am up and down the stairs like a jack-in-the-box if I should be thin from all this upping and downing (but am not!).

Pinkbubbles... I hope your dilemma works out OK.

Thanks for being here!

Ellbell · 05/10/2007 23:37

Whoops... that didn't make sense - s'thing got deleted. I am up and down if one of the dds has a cough....

Will be sending positive vibes your way tomorrow pinkbubbles.

pinkbubble · 05/10/2007 23:38

Hope all goes well, will ask in the morning! take care and (Ha ha) try not to worry!

Sleep tight!!!!!!!!!!

imaginaryfriend · 06/10/2007 09:40

How did the night go? Dd woke again this morning with a 'sore tummy' but it's gone on so long this week I don't think it can be a bug.

Oh Lord though, I didn't know tummy bugs could be air born!! How the hell do you avoid that?!

Ellbell · 06/10/2007 10:51

Morning all. Well... she was fine. Or, rather, she wasn't fine but she wasn't sick. She woke up several times in the night with a temperature and a sore throat and nasty cough, but she has been dosed with calpol and is now running around as if nothing is wrong. I am just so relieved that it wasn't a sick bug. Everything else I can deal with. (I know that makes me sound really selfish, but I know that if you've clicked on this you probably understand.) She is currently pissed off with me because I cancelled the playdate she had coming this morning, but I am trying to give her a quiet day. (Oh, and I have a sore throat too this morning... but I don't care, because at least I don't feel sick any more!)

Thanks again for the moral support. I will be thinking of you tonight pinkbubbles and hoping the sleepover goes OK. Hope your dd is better soon imaginaryfriend.

Ellbell · 06/10/2007 10:52

PS I am telling myself that the school made up the airborne thing to stop irresponsible parents sending their kids back to school when they weren't properly better. Because otherwise I will have to wear/send my kids to school in a face mask from now on!

TrickORTripletEm · 06/10/2007 10:54

Hi Jess, I gave some advice yesterday about how I got over my phobia it's on the Stomach bug thread in health if you want to take a peep, might be usefulx