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Original poster

help needed giving up smoking

125 replies

buttercup · 11/09/2002 13:26

I am a not very heavy smoker trying to give up. Its been one week and I'm feeling all sorts of pangs and temptations. Any tips from people who have been successful?

OP posts:
prufrock · 17/01/2003 14:48

Soyabean - why wait until Saturday - do you really NEED to smoke tonight?

(And why is it people whoa re being succesful - so far - at giving up who are always so patronising and smug

Rhubarb · 17/01/2003 15:04

Thanks for the link Marina - I'll print it off and leave it where he can find it. Actually Prufrock, my dh thinks that I am being smug and patronising whenever I tackle him about smoking. Thing that annoys me the most is that when I was trying to cut back on alcohol when I was preggers, he still went out every Saturday night and got drunk. If I went with him, he wouldn't hold back on my account and he would quite happily polish off a bottle of wine at home in front of me. He knew how difficult I was finding it to give up drinking, yet he was completely unsupportive. But in his eyes, him giving up smoking is so much more difficult that I could ever imagine and that I should shut up as I obviously don't know what I'm talking about!

soyabean · 17/01/2003 15:11

Prufrock
I have one left which i am saving for tonight and dh is picking up his prescription patches tomorrow am. Fingers crossed and keep those creme eggs out of the way

gillymac · 17/01/2003 19:01

Rhubarb,

I am in the same situation with my dh,who unfortunately smokes more than part-time. I have tried everything to get him to stop and have reached the conclusion that, as Tillysmummy says, unless he really wants to give up himself there's nothing I can do to make him. Desite this I keep nagging in the hope that one day the message will get through and he will finally manage to stop, or rather to stop completely as he has started stopping more times than I can remember now. Btw the most successful method of stopping that he tried was the Allen Carr Method. He actually stopped for a whole year after that....but then he went away to a conference with work colleagues, all of whom were smokers, and started again. At least since then he's stopped smoking in the house....probably out of shame!

Rhubarb · 17/01/2003 21:39

Who's Allan Carr? I have every sympathy with you Gillymac! The only thing you can do is ask for consideration and compromise. Why should he give up a well enjoyed past-time? But then, why should you and your children be subject to a smelly house and possible health hazards? I know now that I should be stricter in my approach, so that means absolutely no smoking in the house, friends too, after all I can't have one rule for him and another for them. And no smoking in front of the kids. Another approach I'm going to try is eating garlic everytime he smokes (which is easy for me as I love it). So get some garlic bread in and whenever he has a few, toast some bread up for yourself, so he knows what it's like kissing someone with disgusting breath! Or failing that, no sex. Because I don't know about you, but I find it a passion-killer having to hold my breath when making love, so I'd rather go without!

Once he realises how serious you are, he might cut-back. Oh and print off that article Marina linked to, it's quite good. Keep nagging, it does get through eventually. Mine has kept off the ciggies so far, but then he's out with friends tonight so we'll see how strong his resolve is! He knows there's no nookie if he has so much as one - and I can tell!
Good luck!

jasper · 18/01/2003 20:33

Alan Carr is the Gina Ford of the non smoking world!
He wrote a best seller on giving up. Loads of people swear by him.

He also wrote a very odd weight loss book which contained some good stuff but basically advised becoming a vegan!

bossykate · 19/01/2003 22:26

hi everyone. it's day 8 now and things are a lot easier. i'm still getting the cravings but they are much less intense than the first three days, and i've changed patches to a lower dose. i'm like twink, though, will get the cravings the rest of my life and must never, never have even one as that will be fatal - it's been my undoing before. i've got the munchies extremely badly and am totally giving in to them - will give it another week of non-smoking before trying to address any healthy eating issues, one thing at a time.

am much less tetchy also but still have my moments!

thanks for listening. it's quite handy to be able to come here and give a progress report - to myself! still feels like tempting fate though!

gillymac · 19/01/2003 22:34

Hi Rhubarb

thanks for the sympathy. Will try the garlic bread and no nookie ideas but I don't hold out too much hope. After all, I have threatened to leave him in the past unless he stopped smoking and that didn't work. His argument is that he smoked when I met him so I knew what i was letting myself in for. I do keep trying though in the hope that, one day, the message will get through.
If you want more info about Allen Carr, the official website is here
P.S. I hope your dh managed to keep off the ciggies on Friday night

bossykate · 20/01/2003 08:23

gillymac and rhubarb, i would really appreciate it if you would start a specific thread for your discussion. at the moment what you are doing is like going on to one of the weight loss threads and saying, "my dh is a right old tub of lard, ugh! what do all you fatties recommend to make him diet?"

thanks.

prufrock · 20/01/2003 08:40

Well done bossykate. Just keep thinking that every cigarette you don't have is lengthening your life by 2 minutes.
I always find that when I give up I get through a lot more pens at work - they get chewed to pieces because I have to have something in my mouth - wonder what Freud would make of that

Batters · 20/01/2003 08:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Marina · 20/01/2003 09:17

Keep going bossykate, as Batters says, you are now an ex-smoker! Great news.

Twink · 20/01/2003 11:17

Excellent Bossykate, I mentioned to dh this morning that this thread was worryingly quiet so I'm really pleased to hear you're sticking at it !

Rhubarb · 20/01/2003 14:21

Sorry Bossykate - sensitive subject I know! But as you lot are trying to give up, I thought you might have a few good tips to give our dh's. After all, we're not bragging about not smoking, we just want to help our dh's who are in the same boat as the rest of you.
Gillymac - yes he did manage to stay off them on Friday night and has done since, so I'm very proud of him! If I let him know your dh's argument for smoking no doubt he would use that too!

soyabean · 20/01/2003 21:31

Stopped Sat am, dh too, we are OK so far!

gillymac · 20/01/2003 22:30

Hi bossykate,

sorry if I've offended you. As I am constantly reminded by dh, I don't know how difficult it is to give up smoking.
Glad you're managing to stay stopped though. Good luck and hope it will become easier for you astime goes on.

Tortington · 26/01/2003 01:54

it was either here or posting on the "proud" thread.
today i woke up and literally decided to give up smoking i ordered he kids to throw away the ashtrays before i even went downtairs and they were so pleased as they have had the school lectures and know it kills and they see those adverts on the telly where the little girl cries cos her dad has cancer and is going to die and they are ded proud, told DH he could only smoke outside and he cant smoke infront of me and that i cant even smell it. went to the chemist and bought some patches. went into holland & barret and bought them herbal yuk ones that smell like your smokin weed.

13 hours 16 minutes fag free am so pleased with myself. and only smoked two of the herbal ones when i was really desperate.
i want a certificate or something - i feel like opening the window and telling the whole street!

willow2 · 26/01/2003 09:36

Yeah Custardo! Keep it up - I'm on day 26 of patches (of attempt 226 it feels) but really don't want to smoke either. Within a day or two you can console yourself with the fact that even if you do want a fag it will taste disgusting (it only takes this long for this to happen) so there's no point in having one - well, that's what I do if I ever get a wobble. Already I really notice the stench of smoke on other people's clothes, I've stopped coughing and I'm about £150 better off. Also, don't let your dh's continued smoking get to you. I have done on previous attempts and am lucky in that my dh is doing it too ths time round. But if you ever get a wobble just remember that you're the one who's better off. So get smug and maybe he'll follow in your footsteps! Anyway, wish you lots of willpower and good luck. xx

prufrock · 26/01/2003 10:16

Well done Custardo. I should realy be posting on the ashamed thread as I slipped on Friday night and had 3 fags. I didn't even enjoy them so feel particularly pathetic. But it doesn't mean I am a smoker again. Oh no. My body was just temporaraily inhabited by somebody else who is!

bossykate · 26/01/2003 17:33

excellent, custardo! well done! i'm now on day 14 with patches - hoping another two weeks and then going solo. forgot patch yesterday and was a total *** to dh the whole day. that man is going to deserve canonisation in another couple of weeks!

prufrock, one day at a time, well done for not immediately saying "oh well that's it then!" - you're doing very well.

WideWebWitch · 26/01/2003 18:20

OK, I'm joining you all tomorrow morning. Feel very guilty and ashamed for having failed before and I'm determined to do it this time. Well done everyone and Prufrock, it's good that you've accepted the slip but not gone back to it. If I feel awful tomorrow I'm going to buy patches not cigarettes but I'm going to start off going cold turkey with Allen Carr's method.

Marina · 26/01/2003 18:32

Well done to you all - I was ecstatic when my parents gave up smoking and I was 23 and not even living at home anymore. Custardo is so right to say they will be your biggest fans!

soyabean · 26/01/2003 22:03

Well done everyone. Have been fine, dh says he's ok with the patches, I think we will have to go out for a nice meal with the savings at some point.

Twink · 26/01/2003 22:54

Big beaming smiles at you all - excellent, it is bl**dy hard and you're doing brill, Prufrock it's a slip but not the end of the world (just stay away from unhelpful people for a couple of weeks !). I've even heard that nicotine is has hard as heroin to chuck.

Just keep focused on extra money/health/healthy kids/good example for kids/reduced wrinkles/less money spent on anti-ageing stuff, teeth whitening etc etc.

When dh & I first stopped we were at Uni (he stayed stopped, I didn't..) he funded his final year interview suit purely from the money he didn't spend on Marlboro. It's WORTH it !!!!

Tortington · 27/01/2003 00:05

awww thanks girls
have been watching your postings bossykate to see what its like - to watch your development an inspiration it is!
day 2 fag free work tomorrow hope to god i get through, i do enjoy that 10 minutes in the car park when i have had enough, so think i will go out anyway maybe smoke a herbal or just take the 10 mins - fingers crossed
am glad to hear that i wouldn enjoy them in a couple of days willhelp if i lapse so prufrock keep up and think not only ddid your lapse help you it gave hope to me too!
god i sound desperate..... i soooooo am i need a fag! but i wont!

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