Cancer support thread #73 - come in, we're here for you.

[Trumpton]

Welcome to the new support thread for anyone who has cancer, at whatever stage of treatment, is worried about symptoms, or is waiting for tests or results.

This is the place to worry, moan, ask questions, share experiences and good and bad news, and celebrate milestones!

If you've got a loved one with cancer then your best place for support is probably on the Life-Limiting Illness board.

Our previous thread is HERE

Current members, please do introduce yourselves smile

Thanks @Trumpton I've had a nose at your posts. There's always something to learn from other people's experiences.
Had the pre op earlier, ink injection Monday, and surgery Tuesday. I have two gobby dogs who will need walking which is my main worry. Will take friends up on their offers of help
Thanks @Skap. Hope you're hibernating. it's definitely hibernation weather in Yorkshire

@rumred
I found an underarm pillow invaluable.
There is group on Facebook called Jen’s Friends who make post surgery pillows and will send you one just for postage .
I thoroughly recommend.
I have put mine on one side now ready for me to use after the mastectomy due in April
.
It took me a long time to ask for help but it is SO willingly given !

Just back from clinic. I'm ok. Got 2 cysts , 1 I didn't find but consultants did. They offered to drain the largest but I declined. Go back if any concerns. Thank you all so much for your words of wisdom and for calming me down. I wish you all a merry Christmas and that 2020 is a better year for you all. Thank you again xx

Great news eggnog, really pleased for you and thanks for the good wishes to all x.
I'm sure you'll have a relaxed and happy Christmas.

Hello. I'm a newbie. Found a lump 3 weeks ago. Gp was 90% sure it was a cyst as it was painful and moved. Of course she referred me to clinic. That was Tuesday, and it all started to go downhill. Very sour-faced doc did physical exam and said the lump had "mixed characteristics".

Radiographer said there were tissue changes and when pressed said it "looked worrying" which is when I started to lose it. Two biopsies in breast and one in the armpit, and I get results this Weds. In the meantime I'm having a bone marrow MRI, which I'm taking to mean they think it might have spread? This is terrifying me. My kids lost their father to leukaemia 7 years ago and can't go through this again.

BTW I'm 46.

Hello @Crispspsps that sounds horribly scary. Have you got people you can talk to?

Yes rumred. I'm re-married and have lots of friends and family - I've pretty much told everyone and all are supportive. I met my 2nd husband through a support group for young widows. His first wife died of... breast cancer. Current situation is feeling more than a little unfair.

That's great news Eggnog, so pleased for you.

What a worry crisps, I'm sorry you're having to go through this. Have they not explained their reasoning for the MRI or talked you through it?

No news off the clinic for me. I had the dr apt Friday, then the referral letter arrived on Monday that said ring us if you don't hear from us by Tuesday. Today is Friday and every day the phone has had a message saying 'I'm sorry but no one is available to answer the phone today'. My GP's secretary has spoken to them and apparently they said they'd contact me (y'day) but nothing. I'm sure there's a backlog and it's incredibly busy but a friend who is a Dr at the hospital said 'they have to see you in the 2 week referral' so it would be good to know (for childcare) what's happening. Hopefully I'll hear Monday

Ah, crisps that's so scary, I really feel for you. I'm your age, and like you, wasn't especially worried at first. And the UNFAIRNESS, yes!! We had been waiting for my youngest (disabled) to get settled in adult care, which took 14 years of us being together, until we felt we could start our life together properly without fulltime caring responsibilities. I was diagnosed the same week that her supported accommodation was confirmed.

You will get through this though, and it's so much easier with Love around you.

Thanks both (haven't got the hang of tagging people yet!). When I'm feeling optimistic I can convince myself that the MRI is standard procedure if they are concerned it's in your lymph nodes. To make sure it hasn't gone further. I've also read that most people who have lump/mastectomy also have lymph nodes removed. I'm also very lucky that I'm being treated in Oxford at the uni hospitals and maybe have the luxury of more tests than might be offered elsewhere.
All of the above is what I'm trying to stick with. In less optimistic moments I just think I'm doomed...

Crispspsps Welcome to the thread at a very scary time for you. I have breast cancer. I had a breast MRI after diagnosis as well as CT scans. It's routine, certainly it's to check for spread but also it's for the surgeon to get a clear picture. The removal of lymph nodes is often just for testing. There was no visible sign of spread to nodes so the procedure I had was a Sentinal Lymph Node biopsy. This is where they identify the nodes directly leading from the breast and remove up to 4, usually, for testing. However I don't know about a bone marrow MRI.

@CointreauVersial how did telling the DC go?

@meercat23 I agree with the thrown together Christmas, though I think mine is probably always a bit like that! Hope your big lunch goes well tomorrow.

@Trumpton hope you are feeling a bit better with a week off chemo.

I had my gynae appointment. Consultant was very lovely and said she was not suspicious of anything untoward. Obviously she knew I have BC and am on chem and she really stressed not to worry about this (I'm not really). She is doing an MRI to be sure and I will see her in 6 weeks or she will call me if there is a problem.
Chemo 10 of 12 done. My burning skin is still the worst side effect but I have now noticed my nails hurting. I have them all cut short and have been massaging jojoba oil in daily. There is nothing to see but they feel kind of bruised?

Are you doing the dark nail polish thing?

No, I looked into it but there seemed no evidence that it prevents damage, just covers it up. I don't normally wear nail varnish and thought I would be forever re-doing it and that nail varnish remover is pretty harsh stuff. Actually my toes feel the worst and they haven't seen light of day in months.

I've just phoned the Macmillan help line as I'm having a really bad day. She said some consultants request a bone scan to set a baseline. She also asked me how many lymph nodes were biopsied and I only had one done, which I guess is better than several? Clutching at straws a bit but also a teeny bit reassured.

Crisps I had to have a bone scan to set a baseline because one of the drugs I am taking can cause osteoporosis. They like to know where you are starting from so they know if any deterioration is due to the drug or just natural degeneration.

If they took just one node it will have been the first in line. If they were to find anything wrong with that they would/could go back and take some more to check. Sometimes they could be a bit better at explaining what they are doing and why. I suppose it is all routine to them but it is all new and scary to us.

Skap I had the bruised nails thing, strange dark marks . Only on my finger nails though. The bruises sort of grew out but my nails are still quite fragile and flaky. Where the bruises were the nails started to be quite loose but luckily I didn't actually lose any nails. I did wear funny little finger guards for a few weeks though.

Is it actually the nails that feel sore or the ends of your fingers and toes. They stopped my chemo at 9 weeks instead of 12 because of the soreness/numbness in my fingers and toes which they thought was the start of neuropathy. Chemo ended at June and I still have the /soreness numbness in fingers and toes sometimes a bit better and sometimes a bit worse.

Just about ready for our big lunch tomorrow. Food has all arrived, table is set and only the hot canapes to heat up tomorrow. Everything else is cold and only has to be put on platters etc. I have never been this organised ever, ever, ever!!

@meercat23 you sound impressively organised. I hope you have a lovely time.
@Crispspsps some reassurance is good. I'll take anything at the moment. Was it useful talking to them? I'm hanging on for counselling, first session next Thursday but have lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy Tuesday so no idea if I'll be up to it. I desperately need it though. Not arranging anything for this weekend was a mistake. I've far too much time on my hands

@rumred I was home the same day after both my lumpectomies ( the second was a wider excision and sentinel node removal )
Have they mentioned the impressive coloured wee you will get ? And the blue boob ? Mine is still blue in places 3 months on .
I know it’s easy words but you will feel better and more in control once things actually start moving .
@Skap glad your meeting with gynae went well. I am trying the dark polish just in case . I have always been a nail nibbler and have made a conscious effort to keep my hands away from my mouth in case of germs and so now have respectable nails !
I keep thinking I have more energy than I do and running out of steam mid task .
@meercat23
I host Christmas for our family ranging from 3 to 96 and always go a bit overboard . My girls are taking over but I have done a lot of the preparation already . There are 9 of us on Christmas Day .
We get the tree tomorrow , I won’t miss our annual row to get it in the house ! I shall retreat to my room !

It's been a terrible year and I didn't think it could get worse but it has. Without going into boring sad details. I enjoy bird watching so a blue tit will be lovely

@rumred Arf ! We have a similar sense of humour .

@rumred that really made me giggle.

Good to hear everyone is getting prepped for the festivities. I'm relieved it's a small one this year.

@Crispspsps - sorry about all the worry. It's always better to know exactly why things are being done, and it was a bit remiss of them to keep you guessing. Good to hear Macmillan cleared some of the questions up, and hopefully the situation will be much clearer once MRI is done etc. The waiting is the absolute worst.

@Skap - I didn't tell the DCs yet. Argh! No time! DD1 didn't get back from uni until about 9.30pm on Thursday, DS was out with his GF and didn't get back until midnight, and we left for France at 6am on Friday. We are back tonight. And yes, am having a fabulous time, overdosing on Christmas markets, and not giving the cancer any headspace whatsoever.

Hello all - sorry I have been silent for a bit, I've been reading the thread but no time to respond properly, have had a lot on since we got home Weds night.
Warm greetings and commiserations to @rumred and @Crispspsps. So had for both of you, I'm really sorry. Wishing you both good luck with results and treatment, and hope you have loads of love and support IRL.
meercat enjoy your family get-together today! Make sure you get other people to do as much of the running around as possible! We had some family here yesterday for a Christmas meal and presents; no matter how much we try to simplify and use shortcuts, it's still a lot of work. But a very happy occasion.
MiniCooper that is such rubbish that you can't get through to the clinic, how frustrating for you. Hope you don't have to wait too much longer to get the appointment.
Naomi neutrophils are uncooperative bastards in my experience, three of my six chemo sessions were postponed because of them. Glad you are pleased with your wig!
Cointreau how lovely that you are having a good time in France. Has the bleeding stopped? Hope telling your DCs goes ok.
digerd sorry to hear your admission is postponed, do you have a new date?
iVampire how did it go yesterday, did you find out about the possible mutation?
Skap glad to know the consultant isn't worried about your cervix. Hope your nails don't get any worse. Have you asked a chemo nurse about it? 10 of 12 done is good!
Trumpton so sorry your chemo had to be postponed, are you expecting to have it this coming Friday, or earlier? I have never seen a Santa Dash, but I'd like to! Hope you feel better soon.
drinkingeggnog terrific news! Hope the cysys don't cause you any more trouble or anxiety.

Me: getting a bit Christmas-hyper, trying to get cards sent - of course we haven't got enough. Put the tree up Friday, it's rather short but I love it. Thinking somewhat obsessively about how we can use up all the perishable food in the house without poisoning anyone. I'm carol-singing outdoors this afternoon, about to have fortifying coffee and snacks and put on extra layers!

@meercat23 I remember your nail problems from way back on the thread. Now you come to mention it it might not be the nails. The very tips of my fingers and toes are slightly tender but not numb. I thought peripheral neuropathy was numbness? Will mention it at clinic.

@Trumpton I keep thinking I have more energy than I do and running out of steam mid task Yes to this. It has been the pattern from the beginning. I feel ok, or at least not dizzy, so embark on a trip or activity and then grind to a halt very quickly.

@Bloodybridget Great to hear you are enjoying the preparations and doing lovely None Cancer stuff.

Bike ride this afternoon, belated attempt to improve my fitness. Then saw frozen 2 at the cinema tonight, perfect distraction with dancing reindeers too.
I give less of a shit what people think since the diagnosis, so that's something I suppose
Hoping you are all OK this evening

Read my (virtual) lips, I am never signing up to stand outside for three hours in December again! I was perishing after 30 minutes yesterday and felt like part of Scott's Antarctic team by the time it was over. We were at friends for supper later and, warm and fed, all I could do was fall asleep.