Brain surgery today, scared

[Gumbo]

That's it really.

I'm not afraid of dying, I'm afraid of leaving my wonderful child. We're ridiculously close...we both have Aspergers and 'get' each other, and although he loves DH very much he'd struggle without me.

And most of all I'm afraid of brain damage. The awfulness of the stage between living and dead is horrendous.

It's all so sudden. I was only admitted on Friday night unexpectedly, now they're sawing my head open later this morning to deal with a bleed and tumour. A couple of days ago I was planning an active bank holiday weekend outdoors.

Has anyone had this done and woken up fine and dandy and happy to have had the surgery?

Thanks.

Wow! So glad to know you're already able to communicate post surgery. The surgery must have gone well. That's great! 💐

*miss = moods!

Good for you Gumbo, hope you recover soon x

I can't believe you e managed to update. Great news

Lovely to read your update OP.

A very good family friend had a golf ball size tumour removed from her brain, she was deaf in one ear post surgery but that was expected due to the location. Other than that she made a fantastic recovery, absolutely 100%.

You will need to take time to recover, never mind about work for now.

I too had a bleed on my brain after falling off my horse when DD was only 12 months old and understand how terrifying anything brain related and the thought of not being there for your child can be.

I hope you’re recovering not too uncomfortably! What a huge thing to go through.

I know three women who have had brain tumours removed. They all seem to be doing ok.

I hope you’re having a lovely special time with your family visiting.

Hugs and flowers 💐.

Well done gumbo this is amazing. I also have Asperger's and know that it's an additional complication for something like this. Wishing you speedy recovery and answers to questions about future (driving etc) xxxxx

I know two people (acquaintances) who have had benign rumours removed. Both fine and glad it’s all behind them.
Good luck op.

Amazing that you could update!
I hope your recovery goes smoothly

Best wishes Gumbo, rest and recover

Glad the operation is over and hope you continue to recover.

Glad to see you op. I had the left sided weakness and droopy face also after my op. It took a while but has gone now. My balance was affected so be careful when you start moving around. Like other people have said the shock might hit you later. I thought I had processed everything at the time but needed a minor op a couple of years later and had a ptsd type reaction and realised I had just suppressed my feelings.

@annonymouse

Just want to acknowledge the PTSD, not to worry you op, not at all, just think it's something to be aware of and know others have been there.
I had no clue it could be a thing.
It's a feeling of feeling grateful, but also knowing it's a scary thing to have happened.

Xxx

Very good to hear from you and I'm glad it went well.

How far from your family is your hospital? I have been ambulanced (is that a word?) to a specialist hospital without warning in similar circumstances (although avoided surgery) and it was really hard not being local and I know my family found it hard too.

I wonder if you're in the same hospital I was. I'm nearer now. Obviously you might not want to say, but if you are (in the North) and want to PM me I will come and visit you! If you feel up to it and not worried that I'm a weirdo (MNHQ can confirm I've been a MNer over a decade!)

I hope your recovery is smooth and quick.

Wow amazed you can post so soon.

Fantastic news, take care, lots of rest.
Hope you see your DS and DH soon.

Gosh well done here’s to a good recovery

Hi OP - it's great that you're through the operation and able to update. as others have said, be gentle on yourself and just take things as they come.

Thanks for the quick update! It sounds like you are doing well.
I hope the ‘free haircut’ isn’t too bad.

Best wishes for a speedy recovery

Take it easy Gumbo. Best wishes for your recovery.

Hi,

From my experience of an awake crainatomy to debulk a brain tumour, what you're experiencing now with regards to numbness and slurred speech is normal. I felt "fine" but not myself for awhile afterwards and then had 6 weeks off work, then phased return for a few months after that as it's just so tiring. I didn't experience much pain (I just had a couple of paracetamol outside of the surgery) which everyone always finds odd, but it's because the brain doesn't feel pain, although they kept offering me coedine so I think I was on the extreme side of not really feeling pain and obviously it depends on exactly what you've had done. One thing I do remember is that I had very vivid and weird dreams for a while afterwards where it felt real (to the extent I reported rule breaking I'd seen in my dream to the nursing staff...) But this went away within a couple of weeks. You've also got through the worst now, the hours leading up to the surgery were just horrendous as I wanted to be on the other side and know what I was dealing with. It's now been over 3 years and no one can tell I've had surgery unless I've told them, and the scar is not too noticeable although my hair did grow back more wavy than elsewhere which is kinda annoying. Mine tumour in my frontal lobe and there's a few things I know I'm not good at now such as I'm less articulate, I find it much harder to follow what people are saying if it's just speech rather than visual aids too (I struggle with interviews as I forget what I've been asked so now ask if they can provide me with written questions under the equality 2010 legislation) and my handwriting is utterly atrocious but it's only really me and my husband who know these changes.

Like you said, it's not something you ever imagine yourself having been through but you have, and you've survived. Your life will change as a result of this both from practical things (ie driving) and also your perspective on life will change. On the driving front, you'll likely find you're eligible for a "disabled persons" bus pass and you can also get a Railcard if you take epilepsy medication. If you're in London (I am) then this covers all tfl modes of transport at all times (other than NR trains before 9.30am) so is worth thousands. Also you mentioned that your job requires you to drive, so for the time being your employer will just need to suck up the reasonable work place adjustments and pay for your train fare.

Good luck, and get home as soon as you can as you'll feel a million times better than in hospital!

Thanks for the update - I know what you mean about the incision/scar, it is surprisingly painful!

Take it as easy as you can. They are probably telling you to drink lots of water as well.

What a star to bother updating us! So pleased you're out of it. Wishing you a quick and full recovery.

And using this opportu ity to thanks our NHS and all the staff that worked that BH weekend and saved lives.