anyone else suffer from a phobia about driving on motorways? I have to overcome this. Help needed please

[cruisemum1]

anyone?

will be watching this thread. am in a similar position

I was very worried about this but my dad told me that it's actually the easiest driving there is. You can just pull into the slow lane and stay there if you want to. Maintain a decent distance between you and the car in front and only move out if you want to. It's much easier than town driving.

my dad drives all over the country - but never uses Motorways - he hates them (but don't think he's got a phobia)

drive myself nuts i do as i used to drive on them all the time. now i am faint with fear at the very thought of it but all my family live miles away so i have to address the situation esp since the arrival of ds. it was ok to go by train when it was dd and me but not so easy now.

i used to hate driving on motorways - don't think i was phobic but certainly anxious
i used to go at 60 MPH max in the slow lane gripping the steering wheel
i now use mways every day -
if you are scared of getting lost then you can use a sat nav
TBH Beansprout is right - it is easier than stop start town driving
Perhaps, start out driving a short route on a sunday morning when it is less busy to get used to getting on and off the motorway?
sometimes the only way to tackle a fear is to do it and you will realise the anticipation has been worse than the reality

beansprout - it's not a fear of the unknown, it is fear owing to a massive "oh my god i am going to die/pass out here at 80mph" panic attack whilst driving myself andd dd to visit my parents. uuuuugh! makes me dizzy just thinking about it

Could you get a couple of top-up driving lessons concentrating on motorways? Just to give yourself a bit of confidence?

it is the general 'openness' of the road and all the cars behind me which means i couldnt stop even i wanted to.

I was terrified of motorways but with a bit of experience they are fine and much easier than most country driving (try reversing up a lane 3 inches wider than your car and surrounded by a ditch on either side to let tractor past). If you live near a motorway then try doing a bit of a practise run at a quiet time and drive one junction to the next come off and go back on your self. I think its the junctions that are the most terrifying and remember that if anyone is making you feel flustered then they are a rude driver and you shouldn't be bothered by their bad driving. The good thing with motorway driving is you can usually see a long way ahead of you plus Its a good road surface and well lit normally, if the speed bothers you then just keep yourself in the slow lane until your confidence grows, it gives you more time to think as much as anything. Oh and keep using those mirrors so you know what is going on.

I really sympathise. I had a bit of a phobia about driving generally, but particularly motorways. Got over it by taking myself out at odd times of the day and night when I thought the motorway would be fairly empty (you might feel happier taking someone with you, but part of my problem was hating having anyone else in the car!). If you live anywhere near the M11 that's great as it's often deserted. That way go used to joining (my main concern) and the speed without too much other traffic. Just short trips (one junction) first. Now I drive on a motorway at least 3 x week, and don't really think about it, so there definitely is hope! All the best.

Well you could just break your journey into manageable small chunks. You can get on and off at services or junctions and get back onto smaller roads. But you have to think of that openness as a benefit as clear vision is a real benefit to your safety. I think you should do a pass plus course with a driving instructor. Its only a couple of days.

It's the slip road I hate. I get my knicks in a right twist about getting onto motorways via sliproads. I'm ok when on the motorway although not exactly relaxed. Motorways are intimidating and I can understand why you feel like this.

Oh, and agree with JackieNo's post - a few motorway lessons may be helpful for your confidence.

i think it the memory of my horrific 'life threatening' panic attack that scares me rigid. P-A's at 70-80mph are hideous!

you are all so positive and helpful. thankyou.

popsycal - you gleaning any good stuff from this thread?

Does sound horrible for you, cruisemum. I find the other thought that helps me, is that 'you can't drive it till you drive it', by which I mean, there's no point in thinking obsessively about how you're going to drive particular bits of it, you just have to take the situation when it's happening, and usually it's much easier than you'd built it up to be in your mind. Well, I say your mind, I mean my mind, as that's how I seem to work. (Does that make sense? Hope so).

With experience though you get to learn to speed match the vehicle in front of the gap you are filling and then you will know you will be alright to slip in between that and anything behind. It just takes practice. I was a truly terrible driver when I passed my test 2 years ago, afraid of everything.

I was terrified of driving on motorways, so got a steady reliable friend to ride with me. He drove for a couple of junctions, talking to me about how he was driving, then we swopped over. If I couldn't cope, I intended him to take over.

Driving was so awful that I was hyperventilating, my fingertips were going numb and my vision was starting to get fuzzy. I realised that I would have to stop unless I got myself under control PDQ.

Then I realised tat I had been pootling along conservatively in the lh lane, with no problems whatsoever. I didn't need to overtake if I didn't want to. I'd passed a junction and allowed the traffic to merge without having to change lanes. In other words I was doing fine. A few deep slow breaths and I was physically OK as well.

I hated m/way driving for a long time, but forced myself to do it from time to time to make sure that the terror didn't reset itself. I don't think I overtook on a motorway for at least five or ten years! You must bear in mind that you don't have to drive like everyone else, you can pootle along at 60 in the LH lane, slow down to let traffic merge, and not be pressured into doing anything you feel unsafe with.

Now that I live outside London, I have had to get used to m/way driving, and the more I do it the more relaxed I am about it.

There is absolutely no way in the world you could ever get me to drive on a motorway.

I don't do slip roads.

ohmygod pretty candles! you are describing EXACTLY whathappened to me (and has since i have tried the motorway). It is the "i have to stop, i am going to pass out" feeling that is soooo awful. Esp when your lo's are in teh car chuntering on about the sheep etc.... There is hope though I am sure...

I deliberately seek out routes on motorways. I LOVE them!

I think you have to accept that you have got just as much right to be there as anyone else and own your little bit of road. Confidence will come. Just don't be silly and organise a drive at rush hour.

Cruisemum, you must try parking (ha ha) your LOs with someone while you address this fear. Having them in the car with you will only distract you and worry you, no matter how angelically they are behaving.

This can be sorted, really it can.

BTW, I used to have to take deep breaths and peel my fingers off the steering wheel to give them a wiggle regularly during mway driving trips.