Cancer Support #70. Please post on this thread, not #69, If you have cancer or are undergoing tests for cancer. Rant, rave, scream, cry – whatever helps. Supportive lurkers for Leslie welcome on #69.

[TwitterQueen1]

Thread #69 is filling up with messages of support for one of our own who is very seriously ill. Leslie told me a few weeks ago that she didn’t want any such messages to get in the way of those who need support through their cancer treatment so we are starting a new thread just for those who do have cancer or who are having tests. Could we respectfully ask lurkers and supportive posters to confine their comments to thread #69? Thank you.

We normally start with a brief introduction to our cancers – I’ll kick off. Ovarian cancer dx March 2017. Now on third-line treatment with a trial providing targeted and chemo drugs taken orally.

Good luck strongteaplease, sending lots of strength your way. I’m sorry about your Dad

Welcome RawRoar and StrongTea. As iVamp says the waiting is just the worst as it's easy to imagine all the worst scenarios.

Hoping that there will be another explanation for your symptoms, but, if not, you have definitely come to the right place to find support and understanding.

Good luck for the appointment today StrongTea.

Welcome RawRoar and StrongTea even though I'm sure this is the last place you want to be.

RawRoar Guilt is an awful thing. You may have had this on your back for years but you have no way of knowing when it became in need of investigation. Hindsight is a marvellous thing ... I've had more than my share of 'if onlys' too. If and when a plan needs to be put in place you'll feel better.

StrongTea We'll be keeping everything crossed for you.

That's brilliant Dulce! I'm so pleased they didn't find anything

Raw the waiting around and not knowing really is the worst part, obviously you'll be thinking the worst but there's also a good chance that it's nothing to worry about. You have not let your children down at all! Please don't think that. I know it's tough but try to keep yourself as busy as you can to take your mind off things a bit

Welcome Strong but sorry you need to be here. I'm keeping everything crossed that it's nothing serious. Let us know how you get on

Hi @Rawroar - I was diagnosed with malignant melanoma on my vulva in January. We have a family history so I checked my moles really carefully, but I had no idea you could get melanoma there, so ignored my lesions for months.

Please stay away from google on melanoma. The treatment for melanoma has been revolutionalised by immunotherapy in the last 8-10 years.

Even if it is melanoma, and even if it has spread, there will be a treatment plan for you.

Good luck with the biopsy today. Waiting for results is horrible, but distract yourself as much as possible, and vent on here as necessary xx

Thank you so much toofar I’m so sorry to hear you are going through this. I am in a complete state at the moment. I can’t really function and I’ve had to take diazepam just to get through to today. I’ve looked at the rest of my body now and can see so many awful looking moles I feel convinced it has spread all over and I’ve left it all too late. All I can think about is leaving my children who I adore. I can’t see how I will cope with all of this. I feel utterly broken already.

Raw a lot of us here are mums (and lots also mums of young ones) so the fear you're feeling is very common around here. I've felt it everyday for the last 13 months.
Easier said than done but try to take it one step at a time. Whatever it is there will be a plan for you. Also consider asking for psychological help. I did and it was a lifesaver for me.
Good luck today. I hope it's nothing and you get to bugger off this thread

Thanks Dulce and I’m sorry if I was insensitive to what others are going through, I thought about coming back to say just that. My mental health is not very good at the moment anyway as we’ve just been through cancer treatment for our youngest.

Oh Raw that must make it even tougher as you've been through it with your youngest, I always think at least it's me and not my son but if you can get through that you can get through anything but hopefully it's nothing and we'll get to wave you goodbye from this thread.

As Dulce says it's definitely worth asking about getting some help and talking it through with someone, and if you're not sleeping at night then maybe ask about short term sleeping tablets as everything seems so much worse without a decent nights sleep

Oh and please don't worry about being insensitive, this is a safe place to rant about anything you need to and it takes quite a lot to offend us!

You’re not being insensitive - and I don’t think that’s what dulche meant at all. The fear of what a cancer diagnosis could mean for your DC is a real one and is ‘common’ because shared by all of us who have DC. We might not know exactly what it is like in your family, but we do know that fear and we can try to help you if it comes to that.

What time are your appointments today?

strongtea - I hope yours are going as well as they can

Thank you all you lovely ladies for your strength and support. Just come out of gynae oncology and I'm in the clear for cancer. They're going to monitor cyst, endometriosis, fibroids and said raised ca125 is due to endometriosis . What a relief . Love to you all

Thanks for the kind messages. It’s surprised me just how much it’s helped to hear supportive words on here. I’m waiting for my appointment now but just seen there is a 60 minute delay- not the most helpful! I am actually managing to sleep okay again now, there was a period during which I couldn’t sleep at all but it’s almost gone the other way now. I feel like all I can do is lie down and sleep is the only escape from my thoughts (the nightmares seem to have paused for a while at least). I’ve spent the last week unable to go to work or to look after my children so whatever way this side of things heads I definitely need to sort out my mental health too.

strongteaplease - brilliant news!

Rawroar - 60 minute delay is horrid. I hope it’s not too much longer now

Strong that's brilliant! Endo, cysts and fibroids are no picnic but at least it's not cancer.

strongtea - great news! Good luck with the rest of your treatment

Roar - hope you get seen soon. Do you have anything with you to distract you? I read a lot of trashy detective novels while sitting around waiting for various appointments- thank heavens for my kindle!

Raw sorry if I didn't put my words clearly enough. I didn't mean you were being insensitive, I meant the exact opposite - we all understand what you are feeling and that terror is sadly very real. We all know we will die one day but can we make it all more possible and it is terrifying.
Good luck with your appointment.

So, the GP was wrong about the procedure today. It wasn’t in face the biopsy but an inspection with a dermascope. The dermatologist was absolutely lovely and so kind given the state I arrived in. She examined the moles and said she doesn’t think they are melanoma but that she will have them removed anyhow. She actually spotted a different mole on my arm which is growing and said she wants that off as it’s more worrying than the ones the GP told me were likely melanoma (also told me no gp should ever say that from just looking at moles). She said if the one she has spotted is melanoma it looks like a small and contained one so that makes the new worry much easier. In many weird ways I feel reassured. The guilt that I’ve been walking around ignoring cancer symptoms has kind of gone as the area of concern now is something new. Obviously we never know what is around the corner and things can just go so wrong from innocuous beginnings (thinking of my youngest dcs cancer diagnosis last year) but I do feel calmer now and more able to get on with my daily life without looking at my children and sobbing which I’ve been doing for a week now and feel awful about. In the meantime I will get some psych support as I’m fairly sure I’ve had some kind of nervous breakdown in the last few weeks. Thanks for being so kind to me on here, I was scared to post but will stick around through this process as it’s so helpful to be in the company of people who understand the terror of it all. Sending strength to you all.

Bloody hell that was an essay. Sorry

Don’t be sorry! Delighted for you that the appointment went well, and fingers crossed that histology comes back clear. It’s always reassuring when doctors don’t sound worried!

I hope you find the right sort of psych support soon

So pleased for you StrongTea that the explanation was a benign one.

Also Rawroar that the dermatologist was able to reassure you, and put the investigation of the smaller mole into context.

Rawroar - that sounds like a really good outcome- so pleased the dermatologist was reassuring.

Please do look into getting some support- it sounds like you’ve had a really hard year. I’ve had a couple of rounds of counselling for anxiety in the past - I found it helpful for giving me tools to cope (although at 4am knowing what I should be doing and actually doing it are very different things!).

I went into the office for the first time since my operation today. I was only there for 5 hours and feel exhausted! I think it was mainly talking to so many people- and the mental effort of trying to tell people how I’m doing without mentioning my vulva! I just tell most people I had a malignant melanoma without saying where.

Hope everyone is doing ok x

Hey lacies, jus wondering about tattoos (mentioned up thread), has anyone had a "no lymphnodes" tattoo? Or if not any ideas on design?

Hi. I was wondering if I can join and ask for any advice. My husband has been for an MRI last week after suffering pain in his neck for about 9 months. Last night our GP rang and made an appointment for my husband this morning. We asked last night was it anything serious. We were told catergorically it wasn't it was just routine following the MRI.

I went to work as normal and then got a call from my husband after his appointment to be told the MRI scan had shown a 5cm mass in his thyroid and his gp said in light of the size it's likely to be cancerous. He is being seen by ENt next wed. Has had a blood test this afternoon and a USS next Monday.

I am so angry and feel fucking awful when I wasn't with him this morning,

Having now googled lumps in thyroids it appears that Lots of usually benign so I don't know why the GP said likely malignant.

Does anyone have any experience of masses in thyroids or how quickly we will know, thanks in advance x

Welcome little I don't have any experience of thyroid cancer but I think it took just under 2 weeks to get my results back. I'm surprised the doctor said it's likely to be cancer without having the results so of course you're going to be terrified but there's still a chance that there's nothing to worry about. And please don't google! A lot of stuff is years out of date and the treatments have come on so far since then

Thanks @purpleunicorns I am so angry that she told him this. I cannot see how she could have possibly made this assumption without any of the tests results. Surely you cannot tell just from looking at the MRI !!!!